Much Ado About Friendship

by gaitiem

First published 1st of June, 2017

What if Friendship is Magic was set and written in Shakespeare times?

This is a re-imagining of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic designed for Elizabethan stage performance and written in parody and facsimile of the language, tradition, and structure of Shakespeare's plays. It was inspired by William Shakespeare's Star Wars by Ian Doescher (more so by this video made about it by Kyle Kallgren that explains a lot of the techniques employed by Shakespeare and his imitators you can watch here).

Much Ado About Friendship Part 1: The Mare in our Moon

ACT 1

PROLOGUE

CELESTIA

Two sisters, both alike in royalty,

In fair Equestria, where lay our scene,

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

Where sister’s strife makes sisters hooves unclean.

One blessed us with day, that most revered

Of times, so she too fain in thought was kept;

One blessed us with night ponies so feared,

for this the younger sister nightly wept.

Resentful then became she, so she did

Deny her duty and refuse her name;

Her sister's words unheeded, true self hid,

Through “Nightmare Moon” she cursed pitious fame!

Eclipsed was dawn and day to draw, yet our

Celestia, choice made reluctantly,

Took arms with things that ponies say held power,

Harnessed, “The Elements of Harmony!”

Thence twas that “Nightmare” locked long in her own

fair moon, lost permanently royal post,
And ponies seldom even make a moan

Of her among the daily horde or host.

“What then became of her position?” ask.

The eldest, rightful on the throne and right

To bring about the sun, took up the task

Of raising her lost sister’s moon at night.

TWILIGHT

Hark, tis familiar, yet I do not know

Where, by curiosity, I shall go…

SCENE 1, A Bridge

Enter TWILIGHT right, TWINKLESHINE, LEMON HEARTS, and MINUETTE left

TWINKLESHINE

There you are, Twilight! We pray you to join

Moon Dancer and ourselves in the courtyard.

A get together, nothing more. Prithy come?

TWILIGHT

Oh, sorry, girls... I have a lot of care

To give to these, my studies mine, forsooth.

[Aside] “The Elements of Harmony” I know...

Exit TWILIGHT

TWINKLESHINE

Lo, tis a common scene. For her intents

In going back to school in her tower,

It is most retrograde to her friendships.

Exeunt

SCENE 2, Twilight’s Tower

Exit SPIKE, with a present. Enter TWILIGHT, cutting the exit of SPIKE, slamming the door in his face.

TWILIGHT

Oh, Spike! Where art thou Spike? Oh, there thou art.

Make haste at once! Predictions and Prophecies

Is just the thing I need and you must find...

Prithy, that box?

SPIKE

A gift. At least, it was.

TWILIGHT

Oh, Spike! Our hours are best not spent on frills.

SPIKE

But we are said to be at rest!

TWILIGHT

She shuffles through the books

Nothing.

Nothing! Nothing. Nothing will come of nothing!

Ugh, Spike!

SPIKE

Merry, tis o’er here!

TWILIGHT

Ah, Elements…

Aha! The Elements of Harmony!

“Thou seeketh ‘Mare in our Moon’, scholar!” The same?

SPIKE

The Mare in our Moon? That old pony’s tale?

TWILIGHT

Aha! The Mare in our Moon, eureka!

To quote the book:

“The Mare in our Moon

Is a myth of times long since past,

A pony of great and terrible powers

Whose intent on empire was

For not, for she was bested by the

Elements of Harmony. The moon

Was made her prison, yet on the

Day most lasting of the year

Fifty score hence, the mare will

Be loosed of her bridle, and her

Time nocturnal will be made

Perpetual. The stars will aid

in her escape, and she will bring about

an everlasting night.”

My Spike, you know the rub?

SPIKE

Not I, lady.

TWILIGHT

Then scribe my words as I do dictate them.

To her, our princess, this note goes.

SPIKE

Ready!

TWILIGHT

My dearest teacher, studies continued

And knowledge sought have led me to a dire

Discovery. To this precipice, toward

Disaster, we-

SPIKE

Nay, hold! Preci-?

TWILIGHT

Threshold?

SPIKE

Thresh-

TWILIGHT

Brink?

Simply... that something wicked this way comes!

In truth, “The Mare in our Moon” masks the name

Nightmare Moon, who is prophesied to bring

Night to no end. To action, I plead, make haste

To make assured this terror goes undone!

Thy quick response is my humble request.

Thy faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Spike,

yet finished?

SPIKE

“Twilight Sparkle”… finished ma’am!

TWILIGHT

Tis well! Away with it!

SPIKE

At once?

TWILIGHT

Of course!

SPIKE

I dare not, Twilight! Princess Celestia

Makes preparations for the Summer Sun

Hours of Merriment. The days are twain.

TWILIGHT

Ay, there’s the rub! The days are twain and so

The years are counted at one-thousand all!

It is imperative she know at once!

SPIKE

Imper… imper…

TWILIGHT

Important!

SPIKE

Oh! Fair.

It is sent. Hold not thy breath long.

TWILIGHT

No doubt!

No doubt have I for my princess, nor her

For me. Our faith is undeterred.

How now? Has she replied so soon? What haste!

SPIKE

Huh. Quote the princess: “My most dear student,

Twilight, my dusk, my dawn, my faithful one,

I prize thy diligence, my trust complete,

But those old books corrupt thy reasoning.”

Exeunt

ACT 2

SCENE 1, Ponyville

Enter TWILIGHT, SPIKE, and two charioteers, with a chariot

SPIKE

“My dear Twilight, thou need to know my thought:

A young pony’s hours are precious gems.

Thou cast too many at swine o’er studying.

Thou fail to rest, then be my agent, yet,

Though thy task is preparation made

For Summer Sun day yet to come, instead,

Consider thee thy mission to be thus:

That Ponyville is thy ends, go make friends!”

Her royal highness, et cetera, end.

Take brighter view, Twi. Thank Celestia,

Thy living space shall be a library.

May thou be mirthful?

TWILIGHT

Yea, I may. And why?

Because I’m right! The preparations swift

Shall be done, then the library with haste

To find some proof of Nightmare Moon’s return.

SPIKE

Prithy... and making friends?

TWILIGHT

Duty only.

These preparations need check from me,

Celestia’s student I am, yet this

Consideration over making friends

Holds not Equestria in sway of fate.

[To the charioteers] O, farewell, honest souldiers, duty done.

Exit soldiers, Enter PINKIE

SPIKE

[To TWILIGHT] Perchance these ponies speaketh well.

TWILIGHT

[To PINKIE] Um… hail?

Exit PINKIE with a gasp

TWILIGHT

Tis diverting for certain well enough.

Exeunt

SCENE 2, in Sweet Apple Acres

Enter TWILIGHT and SPIKE

SPIKE

Our Summer Sun Day letter of request

At once requires a trip to make notice

Of Sweet Apple Acres banquet prepared.

Enter APPLEJACK

APPLEJACK

Hey, nonny nonny!

TWILIGHT

[Aside] O, Mercy, may this be most brief… Good day,

And you may give my name as Twilight Spar-

APPLEJACK

Well, hail and good morrow, Maid Twilight!

Tis a jolly acquaintance made!

I am Applejack, sincerely yours!

Not only I, but each of us at this

Sweet Apple Acres are anxious to become friends.

TWILIGHT

My friend? To this I am most contrary-

APPLEJACK

What ask you of I, your humble servant?

TWILIGHT

Well, I am fairly here to ensure your

Readiness made for Celebration hence,

Of Summer Sun, to be on mark as well.

And you are charged to ready food, Maiden?

APPLEJACK

No less than truth, as sugar’s sweet.

And sugary sweets are our provision

Which will prove it to be true, and no less.

We could lick our own hooves,

Or give you some to judge yourself!

TWILIGHT

May Brevity invited be, tis well…

APPLEJACK

Everypony, come in from thy labors!

For festive treats in festive flavors!

Enter BIG MACINTOSH, APPLE BLOOM, GRANNY SMITH, and assorted apple family members

It is my honor and custom to introduce

My kinsmares to thee. Tis well I do, savy?

TWILIGHT

My thanks, and yet for haste necessar-

APPLEJACK

May I present: Apple Fritter. Apple Bumpkin.

Red Gala. Red Delicious, Golden Delicious,

Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart,

Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp...

[Aside] I catch my breath, but these three you must know….

Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith.

Rise from thy slumber, Granny Smith,

And break thy fast with these strange folks we host.

GRANNY

What? Supper this hour? I draw near to take my place…

APPLEJACK

Stranger though thou be, thou are as kin already!

TWILIGHT

Alright, tis well, the realm of food is fair,

Tis best that we should journey on our way.

BLOOM

Prithy, thou will not stay to eat?

TWILIGHT

Oh, sorry, yet our labors beckon us...

[Aside] What mournful cry they make… oh fine, we stay!

Exeunt

SCENE 3, Ponyville

Enter TWILIGHT and SPIKE

SPIKE

Food is readied, then next is storm.

TWILIGHT

Oh, pain!

That pie should go from sweet to sow despair…

SPIKE

A pegasus pony, Maid Rainbow Dash,

Is said to cast away the clouds.

TWILIGHT

‘Tis said,

And yet I see these vapor puffs of white

That do corrupt the air; how banished they?

Enter RAINBOW, colliding with TWILIGHT

RAINBOW

[Laughing] Uh, kindly pardon me? Too late for that?

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Though I am coated with this mud, I feel

So strangely lighter than I was before.

RAINBOW

So how about you let me help.

SPIKE

[Aside] Observe!

She pours forth rain from out a cloud.

RAINBOW

[Laughing] Now wet? I over showered you, it seems.

No worry! I shall string you up with my

Own “Rain-Clothes-Line.”

She causes a tornado over Twilight

No thanks do I desire.

‘Tis well. Oh, any time would I… your hair… [Laughter]

TWILIGHT

I do presume to address Rainbow Dash.

RAINBOW

The same. And me so much renowned to you?

TWILIGHT

“Renowned” for task assigned to clear the sky.

Renowned is she the Princess, by her reign

I, Twilight Sparkle, oversee your work.

RAINBOW

Simplicity itself. A moments work.

For now, I practice.

TWILIGHT

Practice? Why? What for?

RAINBOW

The Wonderbolts! I mean to impress them

During the Celebration soon to come.

TWILIGHT

The Wonderbolts?

RAINBOW

The same!

TWILIGHT

Equestria’s

Most skilled of all who fly in t’air?

RAINBOW

The same!

TWILIGHT

I scoff at this! Your work remains undone.

They can not trust the greatest work to one

Who fails to even clear the sky all day.

RAINBOW

Let turn the minute glass! Let fall the grains!

You mark when one of six have fallen down.

The sky at then is cleared!

TWILIGHT

You say, then act.

RAINBOW

She clears the sky

With ease, I cast away these clouds from sky!

The time I gave myself sufficed in flat.

Deny I Ponyville its light? Never.

Your face is struck with awe, Twilight Sparkle.

What jest! Your company I’ll ever enjoy.

Exit RAINBOW

SPIKE

I will admit to awe.

TWILIGHT

[Aside] “I will admit?”

He has no qualm!

SPIKE

Hold fast, thy hair looks well!

Exhuant

SCENE 4, Town Hall

Enter RARITY, then TWILIGHT and SPIKE

SPIKE

Such decorations found! Beauty…

TWILIGHT

Indeed,

The decking carries on surpassing well.

Assuredly this will be done in brief.

So done, we take our leave to library.

Beauty indeed.

SPIKE

The decking? No! ‘Tis her!

RARITY

She examines fabric.

[To herself] With neither this, nor that, oh goodness no.

SPIKE

[To TWILIGHT] My spines had best be straight. Are they?

TWILIGHT

[To RARITY] Good day-

RARITY

A moment, prithy, as I do my work!

I am astray within the task at hand.

[To herself] Eureka! Sparkle always does the trick.

Not so? Oh, Rarity, a talent thee!

[To TWILIGHT] May, now, I help you- Fie! Oh stars, Darling!

Whatever happened that thy locks are so?

TWILIGHT

My mane? You might prefer I hold my tongue.

I’m merely here to look upon your work.

I’ll play the bat but briefly in your hair.

RARITY

A bat set on my hair, yet look at thine!

TWILIGHT

Nay, hold! Where do you shove me toward? Nay, help!

Exeunt

SCENE 5, Carousel Boutique

Enter RARITY, TWILIGHT, and SPIKE

RARITY

I’ll try to find the dress that suits thee best,

Yet each, it seems, carries some flaw against.

Too green, too gold, too puffed, too flat, too frilled.

Even thy name betrays this shininess…

Continue, dear. From whence came thee, prithee?

TWILIGHT

[Gasping for breath] I have been sent to here from Canterlot.

RARITY

Huh? Canterlot!? I sway with envy, dear!

What great allure, what cultural impart!

I lay my head to sleep and I am there!

We two shall be the best of friends indeed…

What? Emeralds? That will not do. Rubies!

Exit RARITY

TWILIGHT

Let us depart, before she paints my coat

In unfamiliar hues against my want!

Exeunt

SCENE 6, A Wood

Enter SPIKE and TWILIGHT happening upon FLUTTERSHY

SPIKE

I burn, I pine, I perish...

TWILIGHT

Romeo,

Prithee lose thyself in work as well.

What next have we to do?

SPIKE

Last is… music.

FLUTTERSHY

She conducts the birds

[To the birds] Oh my. Prithee, halt thy musings. Pardon me?

I don’t pursue injury on thy pride, but

Thy rhythm, by a hair's small width, is off, sir.

Onward, prithee to play to my instruction.

On count of one, of two, of one and two and-

TWILIGHT

Hello! Pardon the fright I gave your birds.

I am to judge your music, lovely sound.

I’m Twilight Sparkle. And your name is which?

FLUTTERSHY

I go by name of Fluttershy, my lady.

[Aside] Oh, no. I am too soft of voice. She’ll ask more…

TWILIGHT

Sorry, I heard you not. What was the name?

FLUTTERSHY

My lady, call me Fluttershy the pony.

[Aside] It is most retrograde to end our speech, yet

I can not summon strength to speak more loudly.

TWILIGHT

I do not catch your gab, I fear. Again?

[Aside] Oh, what a suttle shriek she maketh now.

I right shall say some parting words and leave.

Your birds return, so all is well for me.

Your work maintain and worries part for us.

[To SPIKE] Most well, ‘twas simple task for once at least.

FLUTTERSHY

Oh, do my eyes behold a baby dragon?

In all my life I never saw such sweetness!

SPIKE

What flattery...

FLUTTERSHY

Oh my, he speaks? I knew not

That dragons had the gift of speech. What wonder!

My words evade their use at this juncture.

TWILIGHT

‘Tis for the better that we do depart.

FLUTTERSHY

Less haste! What, may I ask, is his name given?

SPIKE

I’m Spike.

FLUTTERSHY

Hail Spike, I’m Fluttershy. Amazing!

How do dragons their words employ?

SPIKE

What questions

Might be desired to know?

FLUTTERSHY

All things absolute.

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh fie, this story too familiar is!

SPIKE

At first I was a green and purple egg…

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh let us close this act before that tale.

Exeunt

ACT 3

SCENE 1, A Library in a Tree

Enter TWILIGHT, SPIKE, and FLUTTERSHY

SPIKE

…And thus concludes the story of my life.

That is except today. Hear of today?

FLUTTERSHY

Oh yea, a pleasure it would be for certain

TWILIGHT

What pitiable luck: have we arrived?

This is my final stop, my dwelling now

And so my baby dragon’s resting place.

SPIKE

I tire not-- whoa!

Twilight subtlety knocks him over

TWILIGHT

Oh look, how sleepy he

Can not so much as stand on little feet.

FLUTTERSHY

Poor thing, he simply must be cast to cradle…

TWILIGHT

I shall accept your sage advice at once.

Goodnight!

Exit FLUTTERSHY

SPIKE

Huh. Rude performance, right?

TWILIGHT

Sorry,

And yet I need convince the Princess soon

That Nightmare Moon anon makes her return.

I need to be alone to study with

No interruption. Maddened ponies sue

For friendship, yet there is no time for that.

Prithee, the lights? This room is dark as pitch.

These words I say in confidence might be

Absorbed by sponges of the library,

But surely these few lights are from our eyes

And each for t’other. Where is light?

Enter PINKIE and a host of ponies hiding in the shadows

PONIES and PINKIE

Suprise!

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh fade to black again for mercy’s sake.

PINKIE

Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie! I brought this party

About just for you! Surprised? You are, huh?

Were you? Where you? Won’t you tell me so, huh?

TWILIGHT

Surprised, yea… libraries are quiet, true?

PINKIE

Well, that’s foolish! It’s a sorry party

With no ruckus and revelry. Bo-ring!

See, I saw you when you first arrived here,

Remember? You said “Um… hail?” I let a

Gasp, you remember? You see, I never

Saw you before. If I never saw you

Before then you’re surely new, because I

Know fain everypony Ponyville holds.

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Among such ponies these, I take to cups.

PINKIE

If you’re new, that meant you hadn’t met a

Soul quite yet, and if thus, faithfully, then

Loneliness you carry with you only,

So I much distressed was to think of,

So instead I had a thought that made me

Gasp, a great idea whose results you

See! A stately pleasure-dome decreed I,

Welcoming you alongside all ponies

Now made neighbor to you. Shall you witness?

Now you are possessed of friends, oh many!

Enter APPLEJACK, RAINBOW, RARITY, FLUTTERSHY

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh cruel bottle, thy taste is hot as fire!

APPLEJACK

Are you well, lady?

Exit TWILIGHT, full-steamed

PINKIE

In her joy, mistaken tears she let fall!

SPIKE

Mistaken she was, having drunk hot sauce.

Pinkie Pie eats the hot sauce on a cupcake

PINKIE

No objections shall I hear. ‘Tis good food!

SCENE 2, A bedroom

Enter TWILIGHT, half-enter SPIKE hovering in the entrance

SPIKE

Twilight, that pony Pinkie Pie has called

A game of “tails return to pony.” Play?

TWILIGHT

Nay! All the ponies living here are mad!

You know what hour it is, or do you not?

SPIKE

It is the Celebrations eve, Twilight.

We stay awake to watch the sun arise

With Princess guiding it, those resting miss.

Raise not thy ire so, Twilight. ‘Tis a fair!

Exit SPIKE

TWILIGHT

Ugh, here believed I that I would have time

To learn the Elements of Harmony’s

Significance, yet, fool I was, I found

The insignificance of friends acquired.

“The stars will aid in her escape, and she

Will bring about an everlasting night.”

I pray the Princess had the right idea.

I pray I am a fool to think it true.

Enter SPIKE

Onward, Twilight, the time has come to watch

The sun as it is made to rise today!

Exeunt

SCENE 3, A Town Hall

Enter crowd of ponies, including TWILIGHT, SPIKE, APPLEJACK, RAINBOW, RARITY, FLUTTERSHY, PINKIE, and MAYOR

PINKIE

Isn’t this exciting? Be you roused, for

Cause I am fain roused, I’ve never been

Just so excited, save that hour you

Entered into town and let I one gasp,

Truly, though, what claim could be the greater?

MAYOR

Fillies and gentlecolts, lend me your ears!

Fair Ponyville, I am thy mayor proud!

It is my pleasure great to declare start

To Celebration of the Summer Sun!

Our town shall witness sunrise, magic’s work,

And celebrate the longest day this year!

And now, it honors me to introduce

The ruler of our land, so good and wise,

The sun and moon her gifts to us each day,

The bringer of the harmony to all

Who live in peace in great Equestria…

FLUTTERSHY

[To the birds] Prepare thy song, my lovely ones, for here’s she.

MAYOR

Our Princess Celestia! [To an empty stage] Princess, your cue…

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh surely some misfortune hath befell.

MAYOR

Be not alarmed, everypony, for sure

It is to be reasoned and short explained!

PINKIE

Make a guess then? Does she hide in playing?

RARITY

Darlings, I fear she is simply gone.

PINKIE

Playing with such skill as that impresses.

Enter Nightmare Moon, at which all ponies gasp in fear

TWILIGHT

[Aside] ‘Tis Nightmare Moon! ‘Tis what I had so feared!

NIGHTMARE

Oh, my beloved subjects. Too long we have

Been kept apart, you who so loved the sun.

RAINBOW

What have you done? Our Princess make return!

APPLEJACK

Be restrained! My mouth I may employ

To hold thee back. It does no good to charge

Straight toward such wicked fate.

NIGHTMARE

I am not thought to be as royal? You’re

Too ignorant to know who I may be?

PINKIE

Make a guess again! How’s “Cleopatra”?

Cross that... try “Queen Mab”! Again not rightly?

Oh, right! “Titania”, “Titania”!

NIGHTMARE

These thousand years have tarnished black my crown?

You did not know the legend? Did you not see

The signs of who I am and what I’ll do?

TWILIGHT

I did. I know you are the Mare in our

The Moon. What’s more, you are the Nightmare Moon.

NIGHTMARE

Somepony who remembers well my name.

You must then know my cause in being here?

TWILIGHT

[Aside] I know, but speech has failed me at this time.

NIGHTMARE

Remember today, little ponies, well,

For ‘twas your last. From now until the end,

The sky turns not to day, the night shall stay!

Author's Notes:

For those who read this, I would like your opinion: should I continue to add to this series by adding more chapters to this work, or should I present each reworked episode as it's own entry? I learn toward the former, but I don't have to make the decision until after I post the next one (which might be in a long time, by the way, just a heads up) and I would like to get your opinion.

MAAF Part 2: The Elements of Harmony

ACT 1

SCENE 1, a town hall

Enter MAYOR, TWILIGHT, SPIKE, NIGHTMARE, RAINBOW, Guards, Crowds

MAYOR

Oh seize her fast who hid our Princess! Guards!

The guards approach her

NIGHTMARE

A foal’s courage, so misguided. Stay back!

Exit NIGHTMARE in a cloud of smoke

RAINBOW

Return! Nighttime? And forever?

Exit TWILIGHT and SPIKE

You go?

Exeunt

SCENE 2, a library

Enter SPIKE and TWILIGHT

SPIKE

She must be stopped…

TWILIGHT

You have not slept, my Spike.
A babe you are, despite the task at hoof,
So rest, infant. [Aside]

Exit SPIKE

Now, elements, I need…

She scans through the books on the shelves

Oh elements, oh elements, where found?
How shall I stop that Nightmare Moon without
The Elements of Harmony in hoof?

Enter RAINBOW

RAINBOW

What are the Elements of Harmony?
Wherefore you know of Nightmare Moon, lady?
Might do you spy for such wicked forces?

Enter APPLEJACK

APPLEJACK

Make no false witness, Iago!
This mare is no spier, but, perchance,
She knows what passes in these dark days.
Could you say you did, madam?

Enter PINKIE, RARITY, and FLUTTERSHY

TWILIGHT

I read foretellings all about that mare,
The Nightmare Moon of legends many made.
These so named Elements of Harmony,
Objects of mystery, are needed things
To subdue her. I yet know not of them.
What is their nature? Where are they? More still,
What point they serve? Only reference have-

PINKIE

She points out a book

“Elements of Harmony: Reference”
Just the same you make reference hereby?

TWILIGHT

How do you make objects appear like that?

PINKIE

Index! Know that? See, the “E”s had it here.

TWILIGHT

Oh. [Aside] Yet she sings to mock me. Why so cruel?

She reads from the reference guide

“The Elements of Harmony are six,
Though only five are known by name; these are
Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generous
Enactment, followed by Loyalty. Last,
The sixth, is known by none. Their place of rest
Was in the ancient castle where once lived
The royal pony sisters, in what’s now…”

ALL

The dark and dreaded Forest Everfree!

Exit all

Enter NIGHTMARE

[Aside] This information very much intrigues.
Oh curse the weakened state that I am in.
These ponies might precede me there. For that,
I shall lay traps to halt them on their path.
Though tortoise true I be, our hero shall
Soon see how slow great Achilles can go.

Exeunt

SCENE 3, the Everfree Forest

Enter TWILIGHT, PINKIE, APPLEJACK, RARITY, RAINBOW, and FLUTTERSHY

PINKIE

Whee! Let slip the dogs of hunt against her!

TWILIGHT

Hold fast! I am obliged that you would try,
Yet it behooves me not to acquiesce.
I rather must undertake this task alone.

APPLEJACK

We must deny that request, Sweet.
That you are our friend, we mustn't part
In this dark time and this dark place.
Like honey upon an apple's skin,
Or honeys upon their honey’s skin,
It is become for us to stay with you.

PINKIE

More especially should there be honey
Glazed upon an apple's skin. ‘Tis lovely.

Exit all but TWILIGHT

TWILIGHT

[Aside] The time since feasting certain longer be,
Yet talk of food is still affront to me.

Exeunt

ACT 2

SCENE 1, the forest

Enter TWILIGHT, PINKIE, APPLEJACK, RARITY, RAINBOW, and FLUTTERSHY

TWILIGHT

I hoped that one from out the lot of ye
Would have a knowledge of this place in least.

RARITY

By heaven, no! Fair not to know such dread!

APPLEJACK

Nature herself dare not enter.
Her very will becomes contorted.

TWILIGHT

Contorted will? What measure finds that so?

RAINBOW

No measures took. No facts are known. And why?

APPLEJACK

Oh hold your tongue, Rainbow! Try not to cause a fright.

RAINBOW

For none who enter ever have returned!

Enter NIGHTMARE, invisible

NIGHTMARE

[Aside] Then none shall take issue with your demise!
An earthquake breaks off four from six, to leave
But two, as once there were, to take our prize.
Now fall, my ponies earth and unicorn,
And leave but pegasi to trap besides.

The ground shakes

RAINBOW

Haste, Fluttershy! Take hold of one to save!

Exit RAINBOW, pulling aside PINKIE

FLUTTERSHY

Oh goodness, swift I must decide to grab one.

Exit FLUTTERSHY, pulling aside RARITY

The rest fall down, TWILIGHT does so over the edge of the stage

APPLEJACK

I happened upon a branch, and so am well.
Are you well below, Twilight?

TWILIGHT

Oh, nay! I fear I shall soon fall to death.

APPLEJACK

Keep hold! I will come down for you.

APPLEJACK slides over to hold on to TWILIGHT

TWILIGHT

What action could correct my course from this?

APPLEJACK

Simply you could be released at this time.

TWILIGHT

You say that? Have you lost your reasoning?

APPLEJACK

On my honor, I guarantee your salvation.

TWILIGHT

Your honor set aside, your words are false.

APPLEJACK

Doubt truth to be a liar, but doubt not this:
I tell you truth! Fall, and you will be safe.

TWILIGHT falls off stage

Exeunt

SCENE 2, a darker forest

Enter RARITY and PINKIE

RARITY

I hope our new acquaintance has survived.

Enter TWILIGHT, being carried in by RAINBOW and FLUTTERSHY

FLUTTERSHY

I’m sorry for my weaker flying, maiden.
At most I usually carry rabbits.

RAINBOW

We were a vision! We had perfect form!
Once Pinkie, Rarity, then finally,
Through feats unknown to acrobatics, WHAM!
You thus were saved. Without a moment spare!

TWILIGHT

You say as though I was not present then.
I’m ever grateful, yet we must proceed-

Enter a Manticore

A manticore! He blocks the way from us!

They fight

FLUTTERSHY

[To the ponies] Oh, wait. Hark wait. Oh simply listen. Wait!

They stop fighting

[To the Manticore] No need to stir, ‘tis well. Present thy ills, dear.

The Manticore presents the thorn in its paw

You poor and little infant babe.

RAINBOW

How “little”?

FLUTTERSHY

Now trust my medicine. A moments pain pass…

She removes the thorn, the manticore roars in pain

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Observe, it roars to strike against our kind
Compatriot who served to doctor him!

The Manticore embraces and grooms FLUTTERSHY in thanks

Foretelling now has failed again, it seems.

FLUTTERSHY

No lionheart are thee, but lambkin kitten!
Oh yes you are, oh yes you are, my lambkin!

Exit RARITY, RAINBOW, APPLEJACK, PINKIE

TWILIGHT

You well foretold a thorn inside his paw.
How came you such a sight?

FLUTTERSHY

No vision had I.
There comes a time when kindness must be paid so
To all, those big or small, sweet or fearsome.

Exit FLUTTERSHY, TWILIGHT

Exeunt

SCENE 3, a forest, darker still

Enter the six

RARITY

My eye grows weary viewing scenes as these,
And yet I do despair to see it fade.

TWILIGHT

In darkness such as this our goal could meet,
Yet still we would not know the truth of it,
Quite even if we were facade to face.

They stumble in the dark

RARITY

I saw thee not, my error please forgive.

RAINBOW

Right here. No error made in voice. ‘Tis heard.

APPLEJACK

My hoof is besmirched with something unknown to me.

Enter NIGHTMARE, hidden as a cloud of smoke

NIGHTMARE

[Aside] A manticore will look upon as friend
The one who does him kindness howe’er small,
Yet woods shall look upon any act made
And register no help nor injury.
Hereafter, let them fall into the shade
Of death, to fear my evil, sans their sun!

Enter fearful Trees

APPLEJACK

Fluttershy, look not in fear, ‘tis only mud or such.

All cower in fear of the Trees but PINKIE, who laughs

TWILIGHT

[To PINKIE] What foolery is this? Oh run away!

PINKIE

Ha! Oh girls, but don’t you see solutions?

Sings

When I was a little filly and the sunsets looked so fair

TWILIGHT

Pray, tell me that she does now not-

PINKIE

Sings

The darkness and the shadows, they would fain make me despair

RARITY

She doth.

PINKIE

Sings

I’d hide beneath my pillow
From what I thought was truth
But Granny Pie said that wasn’t the way
To counter fear, forsooth

RAINBOW

You have some sounder known? What is this way?

PINKIE

Sings

Quothe she, “Pinkie, thou must maintain thy ground,
Lean to face thy fears.
Thou shalt see that they are harmless
Just laugh and they most shan’t appear.

Lo I gave a merry chear: ha ha ha!

Exit a fearful tree

The rest gasp in amazement

So, muse about the moan-y’s
Take joy in the groan-y’s
Crack up at the creepy
Make merry with the weepy
Chuckle at the crazed
Heckle at the raised
And tell that unsightly fool to banish himself and leave you to your own affairs and if he thinks he can frighten you then he has another fate pending and the mere idea of such an altercation just gives a pony such as I such rousing cause to...
Laugh!

Exeunt

Enter

SCENE 4, a river

Enter the six

PINKIE

Fair maids, though I lead thee without fear long,
Now we are left facing something harsher.
Now how shall we make way through this river?

Enter DRAGON, weeping

DRAGON

Oh, I am fortune’s fool!

TWILIGHT

Why do you weep?

DRAGON

In sooth, I know not why I am so sad.
I merely sat a moment's idleness,
With thoughts about my days befitting works,
When came an ugly purple haze of smoke,
And, although smoke it be, it made a tear,
Thus rending twain the beard upon my lip.
My outward visage thus is rendered so,
I seem a horrid sight to look upon.

RAINBOW

This fateful journey have I tired not.
And yet I find this story most exhausts.

APPLEJACK

It is much to do about this?

RARITY

And well he would be troubled by this fate!
Are now thy senses fit for mutes alone?
Oh, look upon those scales so luminous!

DRAGON

No flattery is this, but truth, I know.

RARITY

Thy hair made up with such deliberate care!

DRAGON

What care I know about the best of all.

RARITY

Thy nails, honed more for beauty than for war.

DRAGON

Thy vision grants thee truth in abundance.

RARITY

And yet thy lip, half-bare, becomes thee not.

DRAGON

The truth is evident! I’m hideous!

RARITY

A crime so witnessed my correction begs!
For one of thy own skales, I shall return
Myself a piece in greater scale indeed!

DRAGON

Wherefore hast thou done that while I despair?

TWILIGHT

I too am lost to your intent Rari-

RARITY removes her tail with the scale and offers it to DRAGON

DRAGON

With that is my visage restored again?
Thy arts are wonderful in their result.

RARITY

It smites a ladies heart to look upon.

TWILIGHT

But even at the cost of your own tail?

RARITY

It is the fashion of the season, dear.
And sooth, ‘tis hair, such will return with time.

RAINBOW

Of him, the Dragon, could one say the same.

TWILIGHT

The time has come to ford the flowing straight.

DRAGON

Oh let my hide provide a bridge to thee.

Exeunt

SCENE 5, A felled bridge

Enter the six

TWILIGHT

Our journey here has born us fruit at last.
Those ruins hence are said to hold our aim,
Those Elements of Harmony. We’re there!

APPLEJACK

Hold your excitement and permit us to keep your pace.

TWILIGHT

Why hold when we have nearly… plummeted.

RAINBOW

To fall from cliffs is thy design? Or not?

PINKIE

Yet another impasse blocks our journey.
How in timely fashion do we cross this?

RAINBOW

Need I explain? I lift to fast the bridge!

She flies to the other side.

PINKIE

How? With what? Oh yes, thy wings. Obvious.

NIGHTMARE

[Aside] The weakest mind has left from out the herd,
And so shall fall into my trap by means
Of foalish, wasted, sweet ambitions. Lamb,
Come now and join your flock of tricks and lies!

Enter Shadowbolts, 1, 2, and 3

SHADOWBOLT 1

Rainbow...

RAINBOW

Who’s there?

SHADOWBOLT 1

Rainbow…

RAINBOW

I fear thee not!
Reveal yourself or face my ire, coward!

SHADOWBOLT 1

We mean no harm. We want to meet with she
Who flies the best in all Equestria.

RAINBOW

And that is who?

SHADOWBOLT 1

Why you, of course.

RAINBOW

Really?
That is, indeed, the truth. I am the best.
Mahaps you could relay the news to those
Who call themselves the Wonderbolts, would you?

SHADOWBOLT

That’s not our aim, Rainbow Dash. We want you
To join with us, the Shadowbolts. We are the best
Of those who fly in Everfree Forest,
And soon in all Equestria. Yet first
Do we require a voice to lead. The most
Magnificent-

RAINBOW

‘Tis fair.

SHADOWBOLT 1

And furthermore
The swiftest-

RAINBOW

Yes.

SHADOWBOLT 1

And bravest flyer known!

RAINBOW

I must confirm, this is the truth in full.

SHADOWBOLT 1

For this we now request your joining us.

RAINBOW

Oh joyous day! Relay my full consent.
I leave at once with you. That is, but wait,
For first I must make haste to tie this bridge.

SHADOWBOLT 1

Nay, stop! It’s them or us! You must decide.

TWILIGHT

Rainbow, what has bewitch-ed you? Oh no.
Do not believe the words they say to you!

SHADOWBOLT 1
[To RAINBOW] And so?

RAINBOW

[To the SHADOWBOLTS] To you... Thank you! To offer so,
I mean, and yet I fear I must decline.

She fixes and crosses back over the bridge

Exit SHADOWBOLTS 1, 2, 3.

See that, Twilight? I’ll not abandon friends.

Exeunt

ACT 3, SCENE 1, a ruin

Enter the 6

APPLEJACK

Do not hesistate now, Twilight. Is this not what you had anticipated?

TWILIGHT

The Elements of Harmony, at last.
They have been found. Take care in moving them.

PINKIE

Counting one, then two, then three, then four, yet…
Numbers fail to reach above but five here.

RAINBOW

Where’s six?

TWILIGHT

To quote the book, when five are here,
A spark alone shall make the sixth appear.

APPLEJACK

By the fruit of the afterlife, what does that mean?

TWILIGHT

I am not sure, yet wager this idea.
Some distance make you from this place, pray thee.
I do not know what trouble may unfold.

APPLEJACK

Come, friends. Leave her to a hermit's focus.

NIGHTMARE

[Aside] For all the efforts I have spent, has been
This just some jest? They all arrived, but then
Depart from that which they protect. Alone,
Her power only pales against my own!

She steals the elements away in a tornado

Exit

TWILIGHT

The Elements! I must save the from her!

She jumps in the tornado

Exit

ALL

Twilight!

APPLEJACK

Twilight! Where art thou Twilight?

RARITY

But soft, what light from yonder tower breaks?

APPLEJACK

Let us make haste to her side!

Exeunt

SCENE 2, the tower

Enter TWILIGHT, NIGHTMARE

TWILIGHT

[Aside] I have been blown aground to stranger points,
And now the point of Nightmare’s horn does bode
A wicked fate, yet I must not succumb.
A harsher fate than that may fall my state
Should I permit her wicked hooves to break
Or use against the rest those instruments,
The Elements of Harmony themselves.
I make a joust against her, feigning that,
That I might fain take back my hope again.

NIGHTMARE

You jest in aiming so. Oh please do not
Disgrace thyself in playing not the fool!

They joust, but Twilight slips behind her

TWILIGHT

A single spark alone should break the seal.
My magic should not fail, but once at all!
A spark, a spark, my kingdom for a spark!

NIGHTMARE

Oh no! With this the foal could yet prevail!

TWILIGHT

What wicked light of Zeus! My mane doth stand!
And yet there is no mean result at hoof!

NIGHTMARE

She destroys the elements beneath her hooves

You little foal! Had you some hope at fruit?
The East shall bear no fruit as well. The sun
That was consum-ed by the West shall have
No resurrection ever, nor shall your princess
See mercy nor redemption for her acts.

Enter the five ponies

THE FIVE

Anon shall we beside you be, Twilight!

TWILIGHT

[Aside] And so I see the light at last. Eureka!

[To NIGHTMARE] The Elements of Harmony o’erthrown
With ease that one might break a brittle branch?
What hubris! These were not but vessels here
Which you have crushed as pots of kilned clay.
Forsooth, the soul of virtue lives in us!

NIGHTMARE

What?

TWILIGHT

Applejack silenced my doubt, and so
Befits the very soul of Honesty.
Maid Fluttershy has tamed a manticore
Without the use of force, and so she best
Befits the very soul of Kindness too.
Pinkie Pie banished our fear with mirth,
And so befits the element of Laughs.
Rarity has calmed a woeful beast
Through charity and heart, and so befits
The very soul of Generosity.
And Rainbow Dash retained our company
Despite her greatest wants, and so befits
The very soul of Loyalty. At last,
The souls of these five ponies saved
Against every design you had for us!

NIGHTMARE

Whether your claim can hold or not, you’ve failed!
You still are left with want for number six.
Your spark has not caught flame from this kindling.

TWILIGHT

The fire rises! Not from my magic,
At least apart from that I understood.
[To the five] I felt this flame at once when I felt joy
From hearing, seeing, caring for you mares.
The spark caught pitch when I felt sure at last...
That you are all my friends! You see, Nightmare,
When Elements ignite through contact with...
The spark within the soul of each of us,
It burn but not consumes. Instead, increase
Abounds by this, the sixth of elements
Appears: the Element of Magic!

NIGHTMARE

No!

NIGHTMARE is transformed in a rainbow tornado into LUNA

SCENE 3, still the tower

RAINBOW

The lights have strained mine eyes and pained my head.

APPLEJACK

Does anypony harbor a greater injury?

RARITY

So not, but au contraire. My tail regrown!

FLUTTERSHY

Without compare, oh Rarity, ‘tis lovely.

RARITY

Forsooth, I hope we shan’t part ways again.

FLUTTERSHY

My aim was on the jewelry you wear.
It most resembles well your cutie mark.

RARITY

I’d yet to make a note… yet so does yours!

PINKIE

Look! I wear the same! I wear the same!

RAINBOW

Oh joyous pendant! Lightning like myself!

APPLEJACK

By the first letter of a name, Twilight!
I was sure that your musings were but playful fantasies
Or veiled deceit, but hereupon I am struck with the reckoning of a greater destiny;
Forsooth we are each the patron of an element from friendship.

Enter CELESTIA

CELESTIA

In truth, I would have told you just the same.

TWILIGHT

It is the east, the princess of the sun!

CELESTIA

Twilight Sparkle, faithful student mine,
I knew you could do this for all this time.

TWILIGHT

But you dissuade my studies that lead me hence.

CELESTIA

I did persuade that you had need of friends.
Thy studies held no bare upon the ends.
I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon’s return,
And knew that you would greater magics learn,
If you let these friends into your heart.
Another here must play a matching part.
[To Luna] These thousand years have been in great despair,
So sister, take our throne again to share.

TWILIGHT

What, so these warring rulers…

RAINBOW

...sisters were?

CELESTIA

May we be friends once more, little sister?

LUNA

I’ll fain repent what I have done before,
If now I need not miss you anymore.

CELESTIA

Forsooth, I missed thy warm embrace as well.
At last I hold thee, free of envy’s spell.

PINKIE

Cries, then suddenly stops

[Aside] Do you know what now becomes?

SCENE 4, Ponyville

Enter ALL

PINKIE

A party!

CELESTIA

[To TWILIGHT] Do not today despair my clever one,
Thou shouldst be glad to see thy task is done.

TWILIGHT

Ay there’s the rub: that now I do possess
A group of friends, and all the same I must
Return and be without their company.

CELESTIA

Oh Spike, I ask that you prepare a note.
I, Princess Celestia have wrote,
That Twilight Sparkles mission has been changed,
To study friendship’s magic, so arranged
That she shall send to me so oft a letter,
While she’s to stay in Ponyville for better.

TWILIGHT

Oh Princess, for this thank you ever the more!
I shall take steps to learn as ne’er before!

Exit all but Pinkie

PINKIE

[Aside]Isn’t this exciting? Be you roused, for
Cause I am fain roused, I’ve never been
Just so excited, save that hour she
Entered into town and let I one gasp,
Truly, though-

Exeunt

Author's Notes:

This half required a little more creativity, as there's no really Shakespearean way to portray a cloud of black smoke doing everything, so I had to give Nightmare some evil monologues to the audience to explain what she was doing. I probably won't continue this, but I am very happy with the results.

Oh, and one Shakespearean thing to note about this episode: when Luna is in Ponyville, she is given a wreath of red and white flowers. The Tudors used those flowers as a symbol of peace, specifically an end to the civil war that had previously raged in England, the War of the Roses (white against red). It's a neat bit of symbolism for the two sisters, and certainly within Shakespeare's wheelhouse to have made if he actually were to write this in his day.

Stay tuned for:

The Master of Tickets
Apple Harvest’s Tale
A Friendship Gilded in Error
Boasted and Bested
Taming of the Dragon
Dispatched in Sleeping
Gossip in Bridledness
The Swarm
Winter’s End’s Tale
Much Ado About a Cutie Mark
The Friends of Fall Weather
Fitting for Fittings
The Comedy of Senses
The Rainbow of Loudness
The Master of Stares
The Ceasing Players
A Pony Fit for Hounds
The Unseemly Hue of Green
The History of Thunderhoof, Chief of Buffalo
The Tragedy of Philomena, Bird of Celestia
The Cutie Mark Tales
Owl’s Well that Ends Well (How do I make a Shakespearean pun out of a Shakespearean pun?)
Party As You Like It
and
Best Night

Coming out probably never