Much Ado About Friendship

by gaitiem


Much Ado About Friendship Part 1: The Mare in our Moon

ACT 1

PROLOGUE

CELESTIA

Two sisters, both alike in royalty,

In fair Equestria, where lay our scene,

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

Where sister’s strife makes sisters hooves unclean.

One blessed us with day, that most revered

Of times, so she too fain in thought was kept;

One blessed us with night ponies so feared,

for this the younger sister nightly wept.

Resentful then became she, so she did

Deny her duty and refuse her name;

Her sister's words unheeded, true self hid,

Through “Nightmare Moon” she cursed pitious fame!

Eclipsed was dawn and day to draw, yet our

Celestia, choice made reluctantly,

Took arms with things that ponies say held power,

Harnessed, “The Elements of Harmony!”

Thence twas that “Nightmare” locked long in her own

fair moon, lost permanently royal post,
And ponies seldom even make a moan

Of her among the daily horde or host.

“What then became of her position?” ask.

The eldest, rightful on the throne and right

To bring about the sun, took up the task

Of raising her lost sister’s moon at night.

TWILIGHT

Hark, tis familiar, yet I do not know

Where, by curiosity, I shall go…

SCENE 1, A Bridge

Enter TWILIGHT right, TWINKLESHINE, LEMON HEARTS, and MINUETTE left

TWINKLESHINE

There you are, Twilight! We pray you to join

Moon Dancer and ourselves in the courtyard.

A get together, nothing more. Prithy come?

TWILIGHT

Oh, sorry, girls... I have a lot of care

To give to these, my studies mine, forsooth.

[Aside] “The Elements of Harmony” I know...

Exit TWILIGHT

TWINKLESHINE

Lo, tis a common scene. For her intents

In going back to school in her tower,

It is most retrograde to her friendships.

Exeunt

SCENE 2, Twilight’s Tower

Exit SPIKE, with a present. Enter TWILIGHT, cutting the exit of SPIKE, slamming the door in his face.

TWILIGHT

Oh, Spike! Where art thou Spike? Oh, there thou art.

Make haste at once! Predictions and Prophecies 

Is just the thing I need and you must find...

Prithy, that box?

SPIKE

A gift. At least, it was.

TWILIGHT

Oh, Spike! Our hours are best not spent on frills.

SPIKE

But we are said to be at rest!

TWILIGHT

She shuffles through the books

Nothing.

Nothing! Nothing. Nothing will come of nothing!

Ugh, Spike!

SPIKE

Merry, tis o’er here!

TWILIGHT

Ah, Elements…

Aha! The Elements of Harmony!

“Thou seeketh ‘Mare in our Moon’, scholar!” The same?

SPIKE

The Mare in our Moon? That old pony’s tale?

TWILIGHT

Aha! The Mare in our Moon, eureka!

To quote the book:

“The Mare in our Moon

Is a myth of times long since past,

A pony of great and terrible powers

Whose intent on empire was

For not, for she was bested by the

Elements of Harmony. The moon

Was made her prison, yet on the

Day most lasting of the year

Fifty score hence, the mare will

Be loosed of her bridle, and her

Time nocturnal will be made

Perpetual. The stars will aid

in her escape, and she will bring about

an everlasting night.”

My Spike, you know the rub?

SPIKE

Not I, lady.

TWILIGHT

Then scribe my words as I do dictate them.

To her, our princess, this note goes.

SPIKE

Ready!

TWILIGHT

My dearest teacher, studies continued

And knowledge sought have led me to a dire

Discovery. To this precipice, toward

Disaster, we-

SPIKE

Nay, hold! Preci-?

TWILIGHT

Threshold?

SPIKE

Thresh-

TWILIGHT

Brink?

Simply... that something wicked this way comes!

In truth, “The Mare in our Moon” masks the name

Nightmare Moon, who is prophesied to bring

Night to no end. To action, I plead, make haste

To make assured this terror goes undone!

Thy quick response is my humble request.

Thy faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Spike,

yet finished?

SPIKE

“Twilight Sparkle”… finished ma’am!

TWILIGHT

Tis well! Away with it!

SPIKE

At once?

TWILIGHT

Of course!

SPIKE

I dare not, Twilight! Princess Celestia

Makes preparations for the Summer Sun

Hours of Merriment. The days are twain.

TWILIGHT

Ay, there’s the rub! The days are twain and so

The years are counted at one-thousand all!

It is imperative she know at once!

SPIKE

Imper… imper…

TWILIGHT

Important!

SPIKE

Oh! Fair.

It is sent. Hold not thy breath long.

TWILIGHT

No doubt!

No doubt have I for my princess, nor her

For me. Our faith is undeterred.

How now? Has she replied so soon? What haste!

SPIKE

Huh. Quote the princess: “My most dear student,

Twilight, my dusk, my dawn, my faithful one,

I prize thy diligence, my trust complete,

But those old books corrupt thy reasoning.”

Exeunt

ACT 2

SCENE 1, Ponyville

Enter TWILIGHT, SPIKE, and two charioteers, with a chariot

SPIKE

“My dear Twilight, thou need to know my thought:

A young pony’s hours are precious gems.

Thou cast too many at swine o’er studying.

Thou fail to rest, then be my agent, yet,

Though thy task is preparation made

For Summer Sun day yet to come, instead,

Consider thee thy mission to be thus:

That Ponyville is thy ends, go make friends!”

Her royal highness, et cetera, end.

Take brighter view, Twi. Thank Celestia,

Thy living space shall be a library.

May thou be mirthful?

TWILIGHT

Yea, I may. And why?

Because I’m right! The preparations swift

Shall be done, then the library with haste

To find some proof of Nightmare Moon’s return.

SPIKE

Prithy... and making friends?

TWILIGHT

Duty only.

These preparations need check from me,

Celestia’s student I am, yet this

Consideration over making friends

Holds not Equestria in sway of fate.

[To the charioteers] O, farewell, honest souldiers, duty done.

Exit soldiers, Enter PINKIE

SPIKE

[To TWILIGHT] Perchance these ponies speaketh well.

TWILIGHT

[To PINKIE] Um… hail?

Exit PINKIE with a gasp

TWILIGHT

Tis diverting for certain well enough.

Exeunt

SCENE 2, in Sweet Apple Acres

Enter TWILIGHT and SPIKE

SPIKE

Our Summer Sun Day letter of request

At once requires a trip to make notice

Of Sweet Apple Acres banquet prepared.

Enter APPLEJACK

APPLEJACK

Hey, nonny nonny!

TWILIGHT

[Aside] O, Mercy, may this be most brief… Good day,

And you may give my name as Twilight Spar-

APPLEJACK

Well, hail and good morrow, Maid Twilight!

Tis a jolly acquaintance made!

I am Applejack, sincerely yours!

Not only I, but each of us at this

Sweet Apple Acres are anxious to become friends.

TWILIGHT

My friend? To this I am most contrary-

APPLEJACK

What ask you of I, your humble servant?

TWILIGHT

Well, I am fairly here to ensure your

Readiness made for Celebration hence,

Of Summer Sun, to be on mark as well.

And you are charged to ready food, Maiden?

APPLEJACK

No less than truth, as sugar’s sweet.

And sugary sweets are our provision

Which will prove it to be true, and no less.

We could lick our own hooves,

Or give you some to judge yourself!

TWILIGHT

May Brevity invited be, tis well…

 APPLEJACK

Everypony, come in from thy labors!

For festive treats in festive flavors!

Enter BIG MACINTOSH, APPLE BLOOM, GRANNY SMITH, and assorted apple family members

It is my honor and custom to introduce

My kinsmares to thee. Tis well I do, savy?

TWILIGHT

My thanks, and yet for haste necessar-

APPLEJACK

May I present: Apple Fritter. Apple Bumpkin.

Red Gala. Red Delicious, Golden Delicious,

Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart,

Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp...

[Aside] I catch my breath, but these three you must know….

Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith.

Rise from thy slumber, Granny Smith,

And break thy fast with these strange folks we host.

GRANNY

What? Supper this hour? I draw near to take my place…

APPLEJACK

Stranger though thou be, thou are as kin already!

TWILIGHT

Alright, tis well, the realm of food is fair,

Tis best that we should journey on our way.

BLOOM

Prithy, thou will not stay to eat?

TWILIGHT

Oh, sorry, yet our labors beckon us...

[Aside] What mournful cry they make… oh fine, we stay!

Exeunt

SCENE 3, Ponyville

Enter TWILIGHT and SPIKE

SPIKE

Food is readied, then next is storm.

TWILIGHT

Oh, pain!

That pie should go from sweet to sow despair…

SPIKE

A pegasus pony, Maid Rainbow Dash,

Is said to cast away the clouds.

TWILIGHT

‘Tis said,

And yet I see these vapor puffs of white

That do corrupt the air; how banished they?

Enter RAINBOW, colliding with TWILIGHT

RAINBOW

[Laughing] Uh, kindly pardon me? Too late for that?

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Though I am coated with this mud, I feel

So strangely lighter than I was before.

RAINBOW

So how about you let me help.

SPIKE

[Aside] Observe!

She pours forth rain from out a cloud.

RAINBOW

[Laughing] Now wet? I over showered you, it seems.

No worry! I shall string you up with my

Own “Rain-Clothes-Line.”

She causes a tornado over Twilight

No thanks do I desire.

‘Tis well. Oh, any time would I… your hair… [Laughter]

TWILIGHT

I do presume to address Rainbow Dash.

RAINBOW

The same. And me so much renowned to you?

TWILIGHT

“Renowned” for task assigned to clear the sky.

Renowned is she the Princess, by her reign

I, Twilight Sparkle, oversee your work.

RAINBOW

Simplicity itself. A moments work.

For now, I practice.

TWILIGHT

Practice? Why? What for?

RAINBOW

The Wonderbolts! I mean to impress them

During the Celebration soon to come.

TWILIGHT

The Wonderbolts?

RAINBOW

The same!

TWILIGHT

Equestria’s

Most skilled of all who fly in t’air?

RAINBOW

The same!

TWILIGHT

I scoff at this! Your work remains undone.

They can not trust the greatest work to one

Who fails to even clear the sky all day.

RAINBOW

Let turn the minute glass! Let fall the grains!

You mark when one of six have fallen down.

The sky at then is cleared!

TWILIGHT

You say, then act.

RAINBOW

She clears the sky

With ease, I cast away these clouds from sky!

The time I gave myself sufficed in flat.

Deny I Ponyville its light? Never.

Your face is struck with awe, Twilight Sparkle.

What jest! Your company I’ll ever enjoy.

Exit RAINBOW

SPIKE

I will admit to awe.

TWILIGHT

[Aside] “I will admit?”

He has no qualm!

SPIKE

Hold fast, thy hair looks well!

Exhuant

SCENE 4, Town Hall

Enter RARITY, then TWILIGHT and SPIKE

SPIKE

Such decorations found! Beauty…

TWILIGHT

Indeed,

The decking carries on surpassing well.

Assuredly this will be done in brief.

So done, we take our leave to library.

Beauty indeed.

SPIKE

The decking? No! ‘Tis her!

RARITY

She examines fabric.

[To herself] With neither this, nor that, oh goodness no.

SPIKE

[To TWILIGHT] My spines had best be straight. Are they?

TWILIGHT

[To RARITY] Good day-

RARITY

A moment, prithy, as I do my work!

I am astray within the task at hand.

[To herself] Eureka! Sparkle always does the trick.

Not so? Oh, Rarity, a talent thee!

[To TWILIGHT] May, now, I help you- Fie! Oh stars, Darling!

Whatever happened that thy locks are so?

TWILIGHT

My mane? You might prefer I hold my tongue.

I’m merely here to look upon your work.

I’ll play the bat but briefly in your hair.

RARITY

A bat set on my hair, yet look at thine!

TWILIGHT

Nay, hold! Where do you shove me toward? Nay, help!

Exeunt

SCENE 5, Carousel Boutique

Enter RARITY, TWILIGHT, and SPIKE

RARITY

I’ll try to find the dress that suits thee best,

Yet each, it seems, carries some flaw against.

Too green, too gold, too puffed, too flat, too frilled.

Even thy name betrays this shininess…

Continue, dear. From whence came thee, prithee?

TWILIGHT

[Gasping for breath] I have been sent to here from Canterlot.

RARITY

Huh? Canterlot!? I sway with envy, dear!

What great allure, what cultural impart!

I lay my head to sleep and I am there!

We two shall be the best of friends indeed…

What? Emeralds? That will not do. Rubies!

Exit RARITY

TWILIGHT

Let us depart, before she paints my coat

In unfamiliar hues against my want!

Exeunt

SCENE 6, A Wood

Enter SPIKE and TWILIGHT happening upon FLUTTERSHY

SPIKE

I burn, I pine, I perish...

TWILIGHT

Romeo,

Prithee lose thyself in work as well.

What next have we to do?

SPIKE

Last is… music.

FLUTTERSHY

She conducts the birds

[To the birds] Oh my. Prithee, halt thy musings. Pardon me?

I don’t pursue injury on thy pride, but

Thy rhythm, by a hair's small width, is off, sir.

Onward, prithee to play to my instruction.

On count of one, of two, of one and two and-

TWILIGHT

Hello! Pardon the fright I gave your birds.

I am to judge your music, lovely sound.

I’m Twilight Sparkle. And your name is which?

FLUTTERSHY

I go by name of Fluttershy, my lady.

[Aside] Oh, no. I am too soft of voice. She’ll ask more…

TWILIGHT

Sorry, I heard you not. What was the name?

FLUTTERSHY

My lady, call me Fluttershy the pony.

[Aside] It is most retrograde to end our speech, yet

I can not summon strength to speak more loudly.

TWILIGHT

I do not catch your gab, I fear. Again?

[Aside] Oh, what a suttle shriek she maketh now.

I right shall say some parting words and leave.

Your birds return, so all is well for me.

Your work maintain and worries part for us.

[To SPIKE] Most well, ‘twas simple task for once at least.

FLUTTERSHY

Oh, do my eyes behold a baby dragon?

In all my life I never saw such sweetness!

SPIKE

What flattery...

FLUTTERSHY

Oh my, he speaks? I knew not

That dragons had the gift of speech. What wonder!

My words evade their use at this juncture.

TWILIGHT

‘Tis for the better that we do depart.

FLUTTERSHY

Less haste! What, may I ask, is his name given?

SPIKE

I’m Spike.

FLUTTERSHY

Hail Spike, I’m Fluttershy. Amazing!

How do dragons their words employ?

SPIKE

What questions

Might be desired to know?

FLUTTERSHY

All things absolute.

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh fie, this story too familiar is!

SPIKE

At first I was a green and purple egg…

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh let us close this act before that tale.

Exeunt

ACT 3

SCENE 1, A Library in a Tree

Enter TWILIGHT, SPIKE, and FLUTTERSHY

SPIKE

…And thus concludes the story of my life.

That is except today. Hear of today?

FLUTTERSHY

Oh yea, a pleasure it would be for certain

TWILIGHT

What pitiable luck: have we arrived?

This is my final stop, my dwelling now

And so my baby dragon’s resting place.

SPIKE

I tire not-- whoa!

Twilight subtlety knocks him over

TWILIGHT

Oh look, how sleepy he

Can not so much as stand on little feet.

FLUTTERSHY

Poor thing, he simply must be cast to cradle…

TWILIGHT

I shall accept your sage advice at once.

Goodnight!

Exit FLUTTERSHY

SPIKE

Huh. Rude performance, right?

TWILIGHT

Sorry,

And yet I need convince the Princess soon

That Nightmare Moon anon makes her return.

I need to be alone to study with

No interruption. Maddened ponies sue

For friendship, yet there is no time for that.

Prithee, the lights? This room is dark as pitch.

These words I say in confidence might be

Absorbed by sponges of the library,

But surely these few lights are from our eyes

And each for t’other. Where is light?

Enter PINKIE and a host of ponies hiding in the shadows

PONIES and PINKIE

Suprise!

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh fade to black again for mercy’s sake.

PINKIE

Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie! I brought this party

About just for you! Surprised? You are, huh?

Were you? Where you? Won’t you tell me so, huh?

TWILIGHT

Surprised, yea… libraries are quiet, true?

PINKIE

Well, that’s foolish! It’s a sorry party

With no ruckus and revelry. Bo-ring!

See, I saw you when you first arrived here,

Remember? You said “Um… hail?” I let a

Gasp, you remember? You see, I never

Saw you before. If I never saw you

Before then you’re surely new, because I

Know fain everypony Ponyville holds.

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Among such ponies these, I take to cups.

PINKIE

If you’re new, that meant you hadn’t met a

Soul quite yet, and if thus, faithfully, then

Loneliness you carry with you only,

So I much distressed was to think of,

So instead I had a thought that made me

Gasp, a great idea whose results you

See! A stately pleasure-dome decreed I,

Welcoming you alongside all ponies

Now made neighbor to you. Shall you witness?

Now you are possessed of friends, oh many!

Enter APPLEJACK, RAINBOW, RARITY, FLUTTERSHY

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh cruel bottle, thy taste is hot as fire!

APPLEJACK

Are you well, lady?

Exit TWILIGHT, full-steamed

PINKIE

In her joy, mistaken tears she let fall!

SPIKE

Mistaken she was, having drunk hot sauce.

Pinkie Pie eats the hot sauce on a cupcake

PINKIE

No objections shall I hear. ‘Tis good food!

SCENE 2, A bedroom

Enter TWILIGHT, half-enter SPIKE hovering in the entrance

SPIKE

Twilight, that pony Pinkie Pie has called

A game of “tails return to pony.” Play?

TWILIGHT

Nay! All the ponies living here are mad!

You know what hour it is, or do you not?

SPIKE

It is the Celebrations eve, Twilight.

We stay awake to watch the sun arise

With Princess guiding it, those resting miss.

Raise not thy ire so, Twilight. ‘Tis a fair!

Exit SPIKE

TWILIGHT

Ugh, here believed I that I would have time

To learn the Elements of Harmony’s

Significance, yet, fool I was, I found

The insignificance of friends acquired.

“The stars will aid in her escape, and she

Will bring about an everlasting night.”

I pray the Princess had the right idea.

I pray I am a fool to think it true.

Enter SPIKE

Onward, Twilight, the time has come to watch

The sun as it is made to rise today!

Exeunt

SCENE 3, A Town Hall

Enter crowd of ponies, including TWILIGHT, SPIKE, APPLEJACK, RAINBOW, RARITY, FLUTTERSHY, PINKIE, and MAYOR

PINKIE

Isn’t this exciting? Be you roused, for

Cause I am fain roused, I’ve never been

Just so excited, save that hour you

Entered into town and let I one gasp,

Truly, though, what claim could be the greater?

MAYOR

Fillies and gentlecolts, lend me your ears!

Fair Ponyville, I am thy mayor proud!

It is my pleasure great to declare start

To Celebration of the Summer Sun!

Our town shall witness sunrise, magic’s work,

And celebrate the longest day this year!

And now, it honors me to introduce

The ruler of our land, so good and wise,

The sun and moon her gifts to us each day,

The bringer of the harmony to all

Who live in peace in great Equestria…

FLUTTERSHY

[To the birds] Prepare thy song, my lovely ones, for here’s she.

MAYOR

Our Princess Celestia! [To an empty stage] Princess, your cue…

TWILIGHT

[Aside] Oh surely some misfortune hath befell.

MAYOR

Be not alarmed, everypony, for sure

It is to be reasoned and short explained!

PINKIE

Make a guess then? Does she hide in playing?

RARITY

Darlings, I fear she is simply gone.

PINKIE

Playing with such skill as that impresses.

Enter Nightmare Moon, at which all ponies gasp in fear

TWILIGHT

[Aside] ‘Tis Nightmare Moon! ‘Tis what I had so feared!

NIGHTMARE

Oh, my beloved subjects. Too long we have

Been kept apart, you who so loved the sun.

RAINBOW

What have you done? Our Princess make return!

APPLEJACK

Be restrained! My mouth I may employ

To hold thee back. It does no good to charge

Straight toward such wicked fate.

NIGHTMARE

I am not thought to be as royal? You’re

Too ignorant to know who I may be?

PINKIE

Make a guess again! How’s “Cleopatra”?

Cross that... try “Queen Mab”! Again not rightly?

Oh, right! “Titania”, “Titania”!

NIGHTMARE

These thousand years have tarnished black my crown?

You did not know the legend? Did you not see

The signs of who I am and what I’ll do?

TWILIGHT

I did. I know you are the Mare in our

The Moon. What’s more, you are the Nightmare Moon.

NIGHTMARE

Somepony who remembers well my name.

You must then know my cause in being here?

TWILIGHT

[Aside] I know, but speech has failed me at this time.

NIGHTMARE

Remember today, little ponies, well,

For ‘twas your last. From now until the end,

The sky turns not to day, the night shall stay!