Caverns & Cutie Marks: High School, High Stakes

by TheColtTrio

Chapter 8: Good Mornin’! Good Mornin’! The Sun is Shining Through!

“Hey guys! Time to wake up!” Pinkie cheered, kicking the door off its hinges to land on Purple Heart. Ignoring the grunt of pain and following crash as the door was shoved off, she hopped around the room as the other girls followed behind her at a more sedate pace.

“C’mon you three,” Applejack called, throwing open the curtains. “Rise and shine!” A resounding hiss echoed around the room as pillows were thrown at the intruders and sheets hiked over heads. The girls blinked confusedly, looking at each other in surprise.

“What’s all the fuss?” Science Twilight prodded, poking the smallest lump in the room. “It’s just a little bit of sunlight.”

“It burns us!” Purple Heart hissed from beneath the door.

“It hurts our eyes!” Light added.

“And chars our skin!” Wits cried.

“We’ll become burnt boys!” they bawled in unison.

Pinkie rolled her eyes and tugged on Purple’s sheets.

“Aw, it isn’t that bad,” she chirped. She successfully managed to pull the sheets part way off the large boy, eliciting a violent yank back to conceal his bare chest and short-clad bottom.

“Yes it is,” the boys chorused.

“C’mon, let’s go outside,” Fluttershy suggested softly.

“No.” Another chorus.

She blinked. “Why not?”

“The sun is a deadly laser.”

“Not true,” Rarity chided.

“Lies. The sun is a nuclear death orb determined to burn everything under its cruel gaze to harsh ashes. Long live the moon!” Light Patch finished with a muffled yell into his pillow. The fashionista sniffed and wagged a finger at the three lumps.

“Then why are we still here?” she asked slyly.

“Blankets,” Wits said. Rarity rolled her eyes and looked to her friends for assistance.

“Well, there is the ozone layer,” Twilight offered, bringing her Science to bear. “It prevents the Sun’s harsh ultra violet rays from getting through Earth’s atmosphere to hurt us. So, yes, a blanket is a good metaphor… somewhat...” The boys remained unmoved. The scientifically inclined student pouted and crossed her arms. Rainbow Dash groaned in annoyance.

“C’mon,” she groaned, “we’ve tried the Pleasant Method, the Science Method, and Pinkie’s Method. Time for Fluttershy’s Method.” The athlete pulled the timid girl forward and gestured at the boys. “Let ‘em have it.”

Fluttershy knotted her fingers together in agitation and glanced around the room for an escape or some form of assistance. Finding none, she sighed morosely and nudged the nearest lump gently. “Um, would you please get up, Wits End? It’s time for school.”

“Wrong one,” Purple Heart’s voice came from beneath the sheets.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“If you really want to get people out of bed, you need to be more forceful,” the large boy suggested. “Just not too forceful and definitely not threateningly. That’ll just make your target burrow even further into bed.”

Sunset arched an eyebrow at the speaking lump. “You do realize telling Fluttershy to be forceful is about as likely as Twilight turning down an internship at Crystal Labs.”

“Considering she likely needs to be a student of Crystal Prep to receive such an offer, I'm uncertain about that analogy,” Wits’ muffled voice mused. Sunset glared at the offending lump of blankets.

“I don’t think forceful is your thing, Flutters,” Rainbow said. “You’re just too… kind.”

A hand lifted up from beneath the sheets before them, index finger pointed skyward. “I beg to differ,” Purple Heart grumbled, face still in his pillow. “The kindest of people can sometimes be the most forceful. Particularly in regard to something they’re passionate about.”

“But Fluttershy is really kind to all her animal friends,” Pinkie pointed out. “No force there. Not at all. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if she had Force that surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together.”

“Okay,” Purple Heart grumbled, tossing his sheets off, “you need to lay off the blue milk, Pinkie-wan Kenobi.” He ran a hand through his tousled hair and looked up at Fluttershy. “Have you ever had to deal with a person who didn’t treat their pet properly?”

A flash of fire sparked briefly in the pink haired girl’s eyes. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Can you remember that feeling?”

“...Yes...”

“The next time you want to be forceful, remember that feeling and give it a controlled purpose and target,” Purple Heart advised. “See how that works for you.”

Fluttershy nodded meekly. She looked over at the still concealed lumps that were Light Patch and Wits End. “Is now a good time?” she asked, looking back at Purple Heart.

The purple teen stood and cracked his neck, peering at his friends. A cunning grin curved his lips. “At this moment, nah,” he replied. “I have a better idea.” He stepped around his sheets to stand above his friends. “While force can be useful just as much as cajoling is, playing dirty is just as effective and even a little more entertaining.” He looked at the bundled lump that was Wits and the partially revealed face of Light. “I’m gonna play Dark Souls now. I’m sure someone at this school has a copy and a system to play it on.” He shrugged. “Too bad you’re too tired to watch me die. Over. And over. And over...”

The change was sudden and unexpected.

The lump of blankets that contained Wits End popped up, a pair of shining eyes glinting in the shadowed indentation near what was assumedly the head. “I always have time to watch you suffer unnecessarily.”

“Ya’ll got some problems, ya know,” Applejack quipped.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific.” Wits’ head popped out of the blankets, his hair flared out in all possible directions. “I have many problems.”

Light Patch slowly rose from his bed to a sitting position. “Fine, fine. I surrender to the inevitable. Now if you girls could leave so we could get dressed...” he muttered eyes still shut.

“Unless, of course,” Wits said, dropping his voice to be more low and husky, “you’re looking forward to a show.” He let the blankets drop a few inches, revealing his bare and boney shoulders.

“Sexy,” Pinkie said. The girls blinked at the pink haired girl.

“Ehm, thank you for your analysis?” Fluttershy muttered.

“And I’m not sure that you’d define that,” Rarity grimaced, wrinkling her nose at Wits’ skinny shoulders, “as sexy...”

Wits waggled his eyebrows. “You’re just jealous because you’re missing out on all this.” He shrugged the blanket back over his shoulders. “Seriously, though. Ya’ll should probably step out before we ruin the rating again.”

“We’re getting pretty close,” Pinkie said, slowly hooking a finger around the edge of Wits’ blanket.

“Okay, we’re done now,” Sunset interrupted. She grabbed Pinkie by the back of the shirt, dragging her towards the door. “Come on, everyone without a Y chromosome out.”

“We’ll be waiting at the courtyard for you when you finish getting dressed and having breakfast,” Twilight called as the girls left the house, leaving the three boys to themselves. After a few moments of silence, Purple Heart looked aside at Wits.

“Kinda hoping it was Fluttershy instead of Pinkie who took the step, eh?” he smirked.

* * *

“So,” Sci Twi said as the three boys shuffled into the courtyard, “are you three excited for your first real day of school in Canterlot High?”

“Please tell me this isn’t leading up to a song,” Wits said dryly.

The purple girl was silent for a good couple of seconds. “Nooooooo?”

“Right. Let’s save the singing until after lunch for day one at least?” He pointed a finger at Pinkie, who had a tuba at the ready and her cheeks puffed out. “No.”

Pinkie deflated dramatically. “Fine. Spoilsport.”

“Do we have to register for classes or are we pre-shuffled into classes depending on our interests?” Purple Heart inquired.

“Principal Celestia gave you each a selection of classes to attend for the day,” Sunset replied. “You can drop any of the classes you don’t like or need, but you need a minimum of five to stay enrolled here.” She pulled three sheets of paper and passed one to each boy.

“What about after school activities?” Purple continued, skimming his sheet. “Anything about those?”

“It’s the first week of the school year and you’re also transfer students, so integrating yourselves into an after school club may be difficult,” Rarity answered. “Some clubs haven’t even met for the first time.”

Rainbow Dash immediately threw an arm around Purple Heart’s shoulders. “I need more players on the team! Any chance you want to join us?”

The purple youth blinked at the aggressive athlete. “Which team?”

“Eh… all of them?”

“Bollocks.”

“Is there a fencing team?” Light Patch asked hopefully before Rainbow shook her head, causing him to droop. “Well, what about some kind of game creation club or programming?” More shaken heads. “Is there some kind of list we could look at then?” Light Patch asked as he finished off the leftovers he’d taken for breakfast.

“Well, there is one on the school's website,” Twilight noted, “And there is usually one in the main hall. You know, the science club could use some new test subj- I mean, new members.” She blushed over her obvious slip up. “Also, I was kind of hoping to see if there were any differences I could find between you three and us, biologically or magically or in any way,” she admitted because of the raised eyebrows everyone had.

“Right. So back to more important issues, how do we find out what classes we do have?” Light Patch asked.

“Some of us will probably be having classes together,” Sunset mused, peering at the class sheets. “I’m in World History for first period. Any takers?”

“Nope,” Wits denied.

“Sorry,” Light said.

“I do,” Purple Heart replied. Sunset’s shoulders sagged ever so slightly. She dragged a hand across her face.

“Of course I’m paired with him,” she groaned. “Come on then.” She waved Purple Heart after her and made her way inside.

“Later, comrades,” Purple Heart called, striding after the red-haired teen. “If you can’t find me, I’m most likely dead. Light gets to write the eulogy.”

Light Patch watched his friend go. “I can’t believe he trusted me to not write something stupid in his eulogy.”

“It is a fairly nice honor,” Rarity mused.

“Yeah, I’d be honored if I wasn’t already thinking of dumb stuff to put into it.” He was cut off by a sharp smack to his shoulder from Rarity causing him to jump back defensively. “Oh no, no no no! That is not becoming a thing again! I refuse to let that be a thing again.” Light Patch said, stomping away from the group. “I’mma go to Celestia’s office and see if one of them can get me the list of my classes or whatever.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What’s that all ‘bout?”

“It’s a long story,” Wits sighed. “And it probably has a disappointing conclusion from your viewpoint.” He looked his paper over and frowned. “Algebra, Economics, P.E…. Is there anything on this list that isn’t going to make me want to barf?”

Pinkie jabbed a finger at a class halfway down the page. “There’s English Lit.!”

“Oh good. Reading very specific books and analyzing them in very specific ways. I can’t wait to read The Raven for the seventh time, and hear about how the raven represents the narrator’s guilt over past actions.” He looked back to see Rainbow Dash scribbling something on the palm of her hand. “What are you doing?”

“Taking notes. I’ve got Thursday night off thanks to you.”

“I take it you don’t quite approve of your schedule, then?” Rarity asked.

Wits sighed. “Listen, I got a bachelor's degree without stepping foot inside of an actual high school. Going back now feels like trying to clear out early-game side-quests after you’ve beat the final boss.”

“How did you ever manage that?”

“Clever manipulation of the rules, and a good bit of studying before taking the entrance exam.” He folded the paper in fourths and tucked it into his shirt pocket. “Whatever. I’ve got Algebra first. I passed Calc 301 already, so this should be a piece of the dessert of your choice. Anyone else got that?”

Rainbow Dash and Applejack raised their hands. “Can I borrow your notes after you write them?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I’d like to have Wednesday night off too.”

Wits’ shoulders slumped. “Fine. Lead the way.”

As the three teens headed out, Fluttershy turned to Twilight. “Um, you were kidding about the biological differences and testing, right?” She waited as the science-inclined girl avoided her eyes, and eventually turned around and started walking away. “Right?” Fluttershy repeated. “Oh… okay then.”

Pinkie Pie blinked, watching as her friends split up. “Is it just me,” she asked no-one in particular, “or did literally nothing happen between the boys waking up and now?” She paused for a moment. “Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?”

Comments

[Mix-up]

great back to school specials.