• Published 6th Jul 2012
  • 8,170 Views, 104 Comments

The Conversion Bureau: New Tactics - no sh*t sherlock

The ponies use new tactics to ponify all humans

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Chapter 2: Someone To Fear

Chapter 2: Someone To Fear

When I was younger I wa-

I brought the pen to the paper, but could write a few words before the ink started to get lighter and lighter and eventually the pen stopped completely.

"Damn I hate pens." I shook it rapidly and scribbled some more on the page, but it was no use. I didn't want to call the overly talkative purple pony over again as I wasn't in the mood for her questions. Also the way she talked to me like everything was perfectly fine made me think that she didn't even care that she was involved in the extinction of a species. The fact that she could remain in such a cheerful mood through this made me sick. But I needed to finish my story before I was called to the Conversion room.

I knew it could take some time since they seemed to like doing conversions one at a time, but time was still running low. I knew I would have to call the pony over at some point but I was stuck as to when I would do it. I laid on my mattress and tried to think of something else, but then Celestia's voice filled my head.

"I bring some very exciting news today! Four continents, all of them now free of humanities violence and pollution. Asia, Africa, South America and Australia are now devoid of the violence of humanity. To all humans stilll in Europe and North America, Why waste your time? Why try to hold on to the last remnants of your humanity when there is so little left? I beg you not to drag this out any longer, please come to Atlanta or Paris where you can have a fresh start. Your past deeds forgotten, illnesses cured, where you can rejoin your friends and family. Its a better life. Yes, this the end of your world, but do not despair, its only your beginning in ours."

Her announcement made all the random prison noises stop. We all realized just how bad things had gotten. The end of her message made me think about my family and my eyes started to well up with tears. As much as it hurt me, I had to put my sadness aside and focus. With only two continents still with humans, it was too late to continue waiting.

I went to the bars and tried my best to look down the hallway. The pony had to be around somewhere, If Celestia had spoken to us than it could only be sunrise of midday.

"HEY, I NEED SOMETHING!" I felt like an idiot shouting that in a quiet prison. I just hoped the pony would recognize my voice and find me.

A couple minutes went by and I heard the clopping of hooves coming towards me. Moments later the purple pony popped up at my bars.

"Hey! Sorry it took me so long, I was um dealing with something. So what'd you need?" her cheery tone was still there.

"A pencil and a sharpener, no more pens."

"I'll have my assistant get it for you. SPIKE! GET ME A PENCIL AND A SHARPENER!" She yelled down the hall.

"Oh and a red color pencil." I added


I didn't hear a response from whoever "Spike" was, but I said a low "thanks" and went back to my mattress. When I sat down the pony was still there.

"Did you hear Princess Celestia's message?" she asked.

I looked at the floor and shook my head. "Of course I fucking heard it." I muttered.

"What'd you say?"

"I heard it. What'd you think?" I put on a fake smile and matched her tone.

"I think its amazing that we've come so far in a relatively short amount of time. It took over 12,000 years for human population to make it to 7.5 billion, but only about 14 years to bring it to less than 10 million."

"And this makes you happy?"

"Well yes its-" she couldn't finish because out of my view she was handed something."

"Heres the stuff you wanted." she tossed the items through the bars and they landed in front of me. "I hope I'll get to read it when you're done." with that she left back the way she came.

"Don't count on it." I mumbled as I picked up the pencil. I could finally start writing again. I used a new sheet because I had scribbled to much on the previous one. I had just started so it wasn't a big loss.

When I was younger I had been somewhat of a pyro, I had set fire to my bedroom at 10 years old after playing with matches and a box of tissues. I thought making a bomb out of the charges Hudd gave me would be easy, turns out I was both right and wrong. The charges were much to small to do much by themselves so I would have to improvise something else with them. Immediately I thought of that fossil fuel, gasoline. I knew it was highly flammable and it weighed slightly less than water so it would be relatively easy to carry. I thought it was my best bet to make some kind of a bomb out of.

The only problem is that to find gas I would have to leave my hideout, which was very risky. I brought out the map and looked it over. There was a gas station about 18 blocks away, just a little shy of a mile. I knew I would have to go at night, but I was still going over when. The next night the I was forced to make a quick decision because I got an urgent message from Hudd.

We've Reached the Warehouse, but a large group of pegasi are in our way. Draw their attention to New york.

Hudd and his men had reached Breman's old storage site. At the top of the screen on the transmitter I read 8/13/31 9:47pm, I had to go that night.

I dressed in the darkest clothes I could find and I had my pistol out the entire time. I stayed close to the buildings, careful to stay to out of the Moon light. I moved at speed slightly faster than a jog, with no cars or lights I made it to the gas station in about 15 minutes.

The gas station was in horrible condition, the pumps were either knocked over or missing and the building had its windows and doors busted out with old merchandise spread all over the parking lot. People had raided this place a long time ago. There was a hand pump and dozens of gas cans that someone had left behind. I looked the pump over, it kinda old, probably from the early 20s, but still looked like it could work.

One of the tubes snaked down through a hole in the concrete, the other rested on the parking lot. I figured I had already come out here so I might as well give it a try. I picked up one of the cans and put the tube from the parking lot inside it then went over to the pump. The way it worked was when I pulled the bar up it created suction in the tube through the concrete, which drew the gas up. When I pushed down it discharged the gas through the other tube into the can.

I didn't know how much gas was still down there so I just kept filling cans until I thought I had enough. I had been filling for a while so I started to take them back. I had 13 filled and I could only take 4 at a time so I would have to take multiple trips. With the added weight, it took almost twice as long to get to the hotel. When I got back I dropped the the cans in a room on the 2nd, went to my room and snatched by transmitter from the desk. It read "11:43pm'. Most of that time had been spent pumping the gas to the cans, but now that they were already filled I could just run over there and go get them.

I took two more trips and and managed to get 12 of the 13, I wasn't making another round trip just for one can. It was 3:20am when I was done, much earlier than I'd thought. I took a breather, grabbed two charges and headed down to to the 2nd floor. I found some duct tape in a supply closet and took that with me. I taped the charges together and also taped 3 cans around them in a triangle. I laid a stack of the cash I'd found on top as a kind of personal touch. I put the whole thing in a brown dress I found in a closet and headed out the door

I was extremely scared the first time I took a bomb over there. I would be bad enough just being in their camp, but when they found out I had a bomb with me, that could justify a visit from Princess Celestia. I put my fear aside and pushed through the vines into Central park.

I was about 20 yards away from the clearing that the ponies camped in. I looked around, but couldn't see any ponies still up so I went for it. I ran to the first tent and laid the bundle down as close to it as I could. The fabric of the dress blended into the color of the tent. I heard a noise and decided that the placement of my bomb was decent enough, so I armed the charges and got the hell out of there.

I was incredibly tired, but couldn't sleep, I just kept an eye on that tent until the sun rose and ponies began to stir. It was 10:30 in the morning and I saw three of the pegasi who had the uniforms land. I couldn't see their faces so I couldn't tell if it was the pony who was over them all. As they neared the tent I figured it didn't matter and that these three had some level of authority. All three walked next to each other past the tent and I squeezed the detonator.

The charges went off and blew open the cans. The gasoline made a bright a orange explosion that curled upwards into dark billowing smoke. The bills I'd placed on top were falling back to ground in various parts of the camp, some had their ends on fire. When the smoke cleared the three ponies weren't there, the tent wasn't either.

Other ponies were now running and flying around trying to figure out what happened. They were like ants if you stepped on their home. Eventually I was able to find one of the uniformed ponies from the blast. He was far away from where the tent once stood and his front legs and wings were bent in a way they shouldn't . He was being tended to by the female leader pony, she looked like she was scared and didn't know what to do. I looked around to the other ponies, they were all terrified. There was only one who looked different, the light blue pony with the rainbow mane. She looked pissed off and went over to talk to the leader pony

She whispered something in her ear and the leader nodded. The light blue pony then shot off like a rocket, leaving a rainbow behind her.

About 5 minutes later I got a message from Hudd.

"I don't know what the hell you did, but all the pegasi are leaving. You're going to have a lot of company real soon. Thanks for clearing our way."

I was glad that Hudd and his guys could move to warehouse, but now I would have two camps of pegasi searching for me. I moved all my stuff away from the windows and thought the best thing to do would just be to lay low so climbed into my bed and hoped they wouldn't find me.

I didn't really have much dreams while I slept, but I ended up having a memory of my family, which was horrible enough to make me wake up screaming. I rolled out of bed and grabbed my gun, remembering that there were probably a lot of ponies still out looking for me. I took the binoculars and went down to a room on the 35th. I looked and saw maybe a hundred or more ponies in that area. They had found another uniformed pony from the blast and he was being tended to by a yellow pony with a pink mane.

I figured the pony closest to the bomb was dead. However that one bomb was only a taste of what was to come. After seeing how terrified the ponies became, I began to make more bombs. In the course of nine months I bombed that camp 12 more times. Sure they brought in guards, but I got much smarter after each one. I would enter the camp from the same side every time and I would always disguise the bombs as something new.

After I would set one off they would bring in more ponies and expand the camp even more. The yellow doctor pony even had to stay at the camp full time, she wasn't of very much need though. After 13 bombs only 4 ponies in total died from them. I didn't have to kill a huge number of ponies every time to make them panic. Laying money on top of the bombs became my signature, dollars falling from the sky after an explosion and they would know it was me. That alone made them scared, even the leader and that light blue one. I had done it, I had given them someone to fear.

End Chapter 2