Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat

by 8r0ny

9. The Princess Cometh

I woke up from my short nap feeling well rested. Zecora and the gang weren’t back from their gathering run, so that's good. If they caught me sleeping they’d never let me hear the end of it. ‘You were supposed to be guarding camp and you were asleep? GG mate.’

Anyhow now it was a little after noon, perfect for a late lunch. Now with fresh veggies! I made my way over to the kitchen and picked out a MRE, 06-Beef taco. I let the chemical water heat up the meat product while I cut up some peppers, tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. I also grabbed a lemon to add a little zest and hot sauce for heat. The meat was hot, the shells soft, the veggies were fresh and all together it was pretty good. Better than it would have been with just meat and hot sauce on a tortilla. The lemon type fruit we found was more like a lime than lemon but that's fine and in this case it was even better.

“Your mother was a hamster!” I heard Cody yell from the front gate.

“I’m eating a taco!” I yelled back.

“That's not your line.” Nyjill complained.

“And I’m supposed to say that your mother is a hamster, you say my father smelt of elderberries.” I said walking over to the door and unlocking it. “The whole system is fucked, but it works I guess. So how did it go?”

“Well we got more veggies and fruits and herbs and...well that's it” Matthew said dropping his bag by the kitchen.

“No flowers?” I jested.

“No, Zecora had us stay away from a few of them so we decided that they were bad.” Camden said looking through his notes. “Poison Joke was one of them. No relation to poison ivy apparently.”

“Interesting, I’ll be sure to look at those notes so I know what it looks like and what not.” I said awkwardly trying to cover the fact I knew exactly what it was.

“I did get a rough sketch of the surrounding area with help from Zecora.” Matthew said handing me his note pad. “It’s not complete yet but she told me where everything is so ill sketch it in tonight.”

“I’m sure you guys can go on supply runs in these woods now without me so I will take my leave.” Zecora said walking towards the door.

“You sure you don’t want to stay for lunch or something?” Camden asked. “We now have adequate supplies to make you something to eat.”

“No thank you, I have something I need to check on.” Zecora said looking over to me. “Something that is quite important for you guys as well.”

“Right, you get on that.” I said with a nod of my head. She probably means about the CMC and how we will be found out quite soon. Probably even sooner than we expected.

“I will see you all tomorrow then. Let’s shoot for 10AM this time.” And with that, Zecora left the camp.

“Well, we’re going to compile our notes.” Camden said unfazed by the vague and slightly ominous statement left on. Well it wasn't really ominous if you didn't know what was coming but I did so it was. Cody and Matthew went back with him but Nyjill was curious so he followed me back to the kitchen patio.

“What was Zecora talking about?” He asked walking up to me as I ate my taco.

“So remember when I went back to Zecora's hut and I saw Applebloom?” I asked and he nodded. “Well we have a hypothesis that Applebloom will tell the CMC, they will tell their respective sisters, aka Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbowdash. They will then tell Twilight who will freak out for a day before telling Celestia and then we will be discovered.”

“So you're saying the day after tomorrow to expect some visitors.” He said pretty calmly despite the situation.

“Well actually while you guys were out the CMC decided to take a tour of our camp. So they were in the everfree alone.” I said seeing if Nyjill was following.

“So their sisters are going to ask where they were and they will spill the beans.” He surmised.

“Yes, and I planned on that happening today but not till later on. But since this happened so early in the day the sisters will have time to tell Twilight today. Thus moving her freakout day to today instead of tomorrow.” I said finishing my taco as Nyjill mulled it over.

“So, now you're saying we should expect Celestia and the main six to visit us tomorrow.” He said slowly. Strange how much a day changed how calm he was.

“Yup” I said shortly. “That's probably what Zecora went to do. My guess is she’s going to town to see how far along everything is and will report back tomorrow morning.”

“Well fuk.” Nyjill said sitting down. “You know we’ve been here for about a week and interacted with Zecora a lot so I don't even find talking to her strange any more but I just don't feel ready for Celestia and the main six.”

“I want to get it over with honestly.” Matthew said scaring the shiznits out of Nyjill and I. “And there's always the chance that they will keep our existence a secret and leave us be with minimal interference until we can go home.”

“But there's just as likely a chance that she will evaporate us on the spot.” Nyjill said pointedly.

“Statistically yes but that's like saying every second we have a 50/50 chance of spontaneously combusting.” I said looking at Nyjill. “We should probably have a meeting about this to decide when or if we disclose the whole MLP thing or not.”

“Good point.” Matthew said turning to walk to the science tent. “I’ll get the others. Better to do this sooner than later with the uncertain time restrictions we’re working with.”

“Good call. Let us inform the nerds.” I said as I set up a few more chairs around our patio table/dining table.

“Spontaneous human combustion is stupid.” Nyjill said, apparently still stuck on the subject. “It’s obviously not real and the theory and lore on it is garbage.”

“You don't find the wick effect a plausible way to feed the fire?” I asked humoring him.

“No, that makes some sense.” He said shaking his head. “But to get the fire in the first place is imposable. People don't just burst into flames.”

“Different world, different physics.” I sing songed. “Endless possibilities here.”

“Shit.” Was all he had to say.

“Whats this about spontaneous human combustion, terrible theory by the way, and also Celestia vaporizing us?” Camden asked as our group gathered.

“Well just that.” I began as everyone sat down. “Spontaneous human combustion is an impossibility however the wick effect is valid due to how people that are on fire burn. Anywhore, the second part is the important one. TLDR version, I saw Applebloom, she will tell Rarity, Rarity will tell Twilight, Twilight will freak out for a little and then tell Celestia. And bam, we will be found out.”

“That's quite unfortunate.” Camden said seemingly unfazed.

“And the vaporization?” Cody asked.

“Unlikely, but not out of the question.” I said rubbing the back of my head. “If I use my knowledge from the show about Celestia we’ll be fine. But fan-fiction is not kind to her. As in she is a tyrant. But that takes us to our next point...I think we should tell them about the show.”

“What?” Nyjill said startled. “Do you want to get vaporized? Cuz that's how you get vaporized!”

“I think it's a logical choice.” Camden said gaining the attention of the group. “I mean we can't hide it forever so better to get it out early like Shawn did with Zecora and the zombie apocalypse.”

“Well that's just it.” Cody added in. “If we are careful we can keep the show a secret. And if someone slips up we say that we never heard of the show or that we forgot since we stopped watching after it started to suck, i.e. season three.”

“I wouldn't go into that much detail but yes, that is also a valid path to take.” Mathew added.

“Ok, poll. All in favor of telling hands up.” I said putting my hand up along with Cody and Camden. “Well that settles it we will tell them.”

“Son of a bitch we are so dead.” Nyjill put so eloquently.

“As for when we will leave it to our own discernment.” I said putting my hand down. “So we don't know when Celestia will show up, or if she even will. But be prepared for it like any time now.”

We all paused and waited to see if her timing was as impeccable as we were all kind of hoping. Yet no flashes of teleporting or clip clop of hooves.

“You know I was kind of hoping she was going to show up once you said that.” Nyjill said.

“The one most afraid of her obliterating us was hoping she would show up immediately?” I asked mockingly.

“I know I wasn't the only one.” He said defensively. “We all love irony.”

“Is that really irony though?” Mathew asked. “Because I’m not quite convinced it is, but I don't know the word to use in it's place.”

“It's not ironic if I said ‘Celestia showed up’ (pop) and then she was standing right behind me?” I said ignoring the popping sound Nyjill made.

“No, just impeccable timing.” Camden replied.

“So if I were to say, ‘A wild Celestia appeared’ (Bzzort) and she showed up that isn't irony?” I said, again, ignoring the strange sounds Nyjill was making.

“Nope, not irony.” Camden said simply.

“Well fuck me sideways.” I said quietly to myself.

“Well if you're offering.” A female voice said from behind me.

“Ok, so how long has she been here?” I asked the group who were all looking behind me at who I could only guess was Celestia.

“Since I went pop.” Nyjill said simply. “She told us to be quiet though.”

“That's what murderers do you boob.” I said turning to face the ruler of Equestria that just said she wouldn't mind fucking me sideways...kind of. “I wanted to make a good first impression but it seems that went out the window.”

“I think it was a fine impression myself. I found that you and your friends can take a joke and that means more than you know to someone as myself.” She said looking me in the eye. Yah, the eye, we were eye level.

“So, Celestia. Welcome to our camp that we set up in your country. I am Shawn, this is Nyjill, this is Camden, the one over there is Matthew, and last but not least this is Cody.” I said motioning to each one of them in turn. “Would you like to hear our story? We have the long version and the TLDR version.”

“Hello all. Thanks for the warm welcome. I will take the TLDR version for we are expecting company soon.” She said looking around the camp. “I know it's not really my place to have guests in your camp but let’s just say there's no way to prevent a certain someone from investigating.”

“Twilight and company?” I asked ignoring the worried looks of my friends.

“Yes, how did you know?” Celestia asked keeping up her warm smile.

“All part of our tale.” I said pulling a chair up to the table. “Sit and I will tell you.”

“Thank you.” She said eying the chair. “Hope you don't mind but I can't quite use that, I’ll just get a pillow.”

“Yah, I should have seen that coming. Not all of you sit like Lyra.” I said, again ignoring the looks of the group. She’s cool, calm your tits.

“So, TLDR zombie apocalypse plagues our world, scientists made a machine, we were sent to this world to see if it is suitable for the remainder of our race, time is 60 times slower here, portal will not reopen for at least one month our time, we made a base, Zecora found us, saw Applebloom and you know the rest.” I said quickly.

“Well that surely is quite the short story.” She said looking at each of us. Maybe to see if I was telling the truth i don't know.

We were distracted by a bright flash and teleport-y noise, guess Celestia knew how to hide those things. Shortly after a cyan blur came into view and screeched to a halt by our group. Taking one look at the princess and us RD went for the closest of us who happened to be Nyjill.

Author's Note:

They've been found! What will the princess do meow?

Sorry for long break in updates. School is killer and the only reason I have time now is because the last two days have been snow days. Anyhow, enjoy. Hopefully the next update comes soonish.

Comments

[8r0ny]

8019080
Thanks bro(ny)! To be honest I was starting to loose motivation due to lack of likes and comments but this really helped.
Cheers!

[Blank-Page]

So they will be there for 4.8 years if I did the math right?

[PrismStrike]

your celestia here was quite good. an interesting chapter and i look forward to seeing what Dash does to the humans before being stopped by twilight or Princess Sun herself. have yourself a like though.

[8r0ny]

9663076
Huzzah!