Zombies to Ponies in Ten Seconds Flat

by 8r0ny

18. The Isle of Man

Before we knew it we were inbound to our new island. An entire island for humanity to have a second chance on. And of all places, in Equestria. I could not fathom the predicament we were in, and i was living it! Celestia, Luna, and Highfether accompanied us on our trip to our new island on an airship. It was really cool, much better than the blimps we had on Earth that we basically only used for advertising, but not nearly as good as plains. Then again it was better than a chariot so that was nice. But I couldn't really enjoy any of this because of how bizarre it all was.

“You ok Shawn?” Cody asked when he noticed how out of it I was in comparison to how happy everyone else was.

“I’m not sure.” I replied honestly. “I know I should be ecstatic over the fact we get an island but the absurdity of it all is just hitting me.”

“It’s about time.” Nyjill said having heard our conversation. “It’s hit us in the first week, we all had our moment of WTF, but got over it and moved on. You held us together by being completely oblivious to it.”

“I had no idea. I mean sure I had some times where I felt like everything happening was surreal but this!” I said gesturing to the dignitaries, the airship, the fucking planet. “It's just all hitting me. And the stress of us securing the future of the human race is just driving it home.”

“Someone needs a pickmeup.” Luna said passing me a glass of what I could only assume to be Night Terror. “Just be careful, you’re not a Changeling anymore so this stuff should knock you around a bit.”

“Please, I had four years of alcohol training , also known as college.” I boasted proudly, taking the glass. “All joking aside, I think I do need a break from the coherent.”

“It’ll take another day and a half to get to the island.” Highfether said grabbing his own glass. “I say it's high time we celebrated, pun intended.”

“Was the pun because of your name or because we’re in a airship?” Matthew asked.

“Indeed.” He said smirking.

“Well, if this is happening,” Luna said passing out and filling glasses so everyone had one. “Let's have a toast to humanity.”

“May you be successful in your endeavors and may your people prosper.” Celestia said raising her glass.

“Here here.” We said raising our own to the toast.

Luna was right, I was no longer a Changeling...this shit kicked like a mule and apologized less. But it was exactly what I needed to get over the mind fuckery that was now my life. Whenever I felt the pulls of sanity I would bunker down and take another glass of Night Terror to keep it at bay. Did a fair job of it too, we were wasted for almost a full twenty four hours but alas, all good things must come to a head splitting and stomach wrenching end.

“Luna, your despicable night juice has claimed more victims.” I said from the couch that sat on the wall of the ship. I had just awakened, really wish I hadn't.

“I warned you.” She said giggling. “Lucky for you we have four more hours till we make it to your island.”

“O goody, I have some time to suffer, before I suffer more.” I said sarcastically. “Can you magic me up a glass of water?”

“Sure thing.” She giggled while she grabbed a glass, filled it with water, and sprinkled some herbs into it before handing it to me. “This should shorten your suffering a bit.”

“I knew I liked you for some reason.” I said smiling before grabbing the water and downing it. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I will be laying in a miserable heap in my room.”

“Have fun.” She said grinning. She really got off on my suffering didn't she.

I stumbled to my room and opened the door, only to see my bed was occupied by a solar diarch.

“Fucking perfect.” I said closing the door intending to find a new room to sleep this indignant hangover off. But it seemed someone had other plans. I made it two steps before the door opened again and I felt myself pulled back into the room by a shimmering golden magic aura.

“Please, have mercy.” I said miserably as I was dragged back into the room, the door shutting after me. “I just want the suffering to end.”

“As you wish.” Celestia said kinda creepily. Then without warning, other than what she just said, I was transformed into a Changeling once again. I could literally feel my newish body working to pull the alcohol out of my system and rehydrate with the water I had drank.

“Ooh, I feel weird.” I said as my vision blurred for a second and my body started to feel warm and light. “What did you do to me Cely.”

“I just transformed you to a Changeling to purge hangover. I’m not sure what is affecting you.” She said blinking in confusion.

“Damn it Luna, did you drug my water or something?” I said, not nearly loud enough for her to hear...or so I thought. Apparently she was listening through the door because I could hear her snickering. Celestia heard it too and opened the door and pulling her sister in before she could get away.

“What did you do Lulu?” Celestia asked fixing her gaze on her sister.

“I may have spiked his drink with Poison Joke knowing that you were in his room and would probably turn him to help rid him of his hangover.” She said tapping her hooves together innocently.

“Whaaaa?” I said slowly as my mind blurred and speech slurred.

“Oooh.” Celestia said slowly. “Well that explains it. Poison Joke is a hallucinogenic to Changelings is it not?”

“Indeed it is.” Luna said smiling wider.

“Interesting.” Celestia said sharing her sisters smile.

“Fuuuuu. You’re a big mean Lulu.” I said slurring my words. I focused hard and spoke slower to convey my next point. “How can I do stuff at the place now.” I did ok…

“Well the effect will go away as soon as we change you back to human.” Celestia said. “But you’re more fun like this so I think we’ll wait.”

“Whaaa? I won't forget this.” I said booping her on the nose. “Woah, you’re soft.”

“I better cure the others normally.” Luna said leaving Celestia and I in my room. “I’m sure they would appreciate it.”

“There’s a normal way?” I said disbelievingly. “You devious little pegacorn. I will have my revenge! But first I’m gonna take a nap.”

I crawled behind Celestia on my bed and pushed her with all four hooves to get her off the bed but it didn't work. So instead, I focused on becoming a larger version of myself. It worked but she didn't budge.

“Well, it's been awhile since I cuddled someone my size.” She said looking at my larger form. “Prepare yourself.”

“Nooooooo.” I said as she wrapped her hooves and wings around my form. “You fiend, I will...not let you...forget...revenge…”

And with that I fell asleep. Who knows how long I slept but when I woke up I was human again with only a blurry memory of what transpired before. But that blurry memory was enough. I hid my intent, hoping I could fool the sisters into believing I didn't remember a thing. Changelings were unknown mostly right? How would they know what the full power of Poison Joke would do to them. I decided to play this card to it's full potential.

I exited my now vacant room and made my way to the bridge/kitchen/hangout spot. It was basically the ship minus the cabins and engine room. Quite the open concept. I found everyone was already out here and hangover free. Lucky bastards got the easy way out.

“Hey guys.” I greeted. “How long was I out?”

“Only a few hours.” Cody replied. “Should be there in an hour.”

“We should be able to see it soon.” Highfether said a little excitedly. He was obviously proud of the island, so he was giddy to see our reaction.

“How was your nap?” Luna asked hiding a smile.

“It was fine.” I replied nonchalantly. “My hangover is gone so that’s nice.”

“And, is that all?” Celestia asked slightly confused.

“I did wake up feeling a little strange but I figured it was the hangover.” I lied. “And my bed was a mess even though I usually stay pretty still in my sleep.”

The two sisters exchanged almost imperceptible glances before they decided to save it for another time.

“So how long you think before we can see the island?” I asked ignoring them. “A time frame better than soon.”

“Judging by our speed, how far we need to go, our height, the curvature of the earth.” Camden rambled on. “I’d say about nine minutes and thirteen seconds.”

“Oddly specific for a guestimate.” I said looking to Highfether. “And again, thank you so much for selling this island to Equestria so we can mooch off of them.”

“The pleasure was all mine, and somewhat my wallets.” He joked. “If I wouldn't receive tartarus from my country I would have given it to you. But all the griffins that moved will want compensation, the income from there will be cut, it would have been a mess.”

“Perfectly understandable.” I said smiling. “And we are grateful all the same.” I turned to Celestia and Luna. “Ant thank you two for footing the bill for the time being.”

“Happy we could help.” Celestia replied gracefully.

“We’ll get it back.” Luna said bluntly, Celestia shot her a disapproving look.

“Indeed you will.” I said smoothly. “Humanity is in your dept for way more than just the cost of this island. We owe you our continued existence. But don't get any ideas about enslaving us or something.”

“Perish the thought.” Celestia said in half disbelief and half jest. “I feel with some trade agreements and other such legal documentation we will settle your debt in no time.”

“All those years I avoided student loans and then we bought an island.” Cody said.

“I was fucked from the first year.” Nyjill added. “Luckily the world collapsed before I had to pay it all.”

“Silver lining I suppose.” Matthew said.

“I would much rather pay off an island than education.” I said. “Especially because of what I studied and how useful that was.”

“Yah, a Theater Major is one of the five people that saved our race.” Nyjill joked.

“But in reality, without him we would probably all be dead by now.” Camden added.

“And if we did survive another group would be here negotiating.” Matthew said. “And I’m not sure they would have done as well as us.”

“And even if they did, what are the chances of making it to the Lab to go through the portal to get here.” Cody said.

“Is everyone thoroughly depressed yet?” I asked the group. “Because I can help. Ready? I exist therefor all that was invalid.”

“Yey Shawn.” Nyjill said. “Theater kid saves the day!”

“My education had nothing to do with it.” I said dismissively. “It was my inherent awesome that helped us survive.”

“And he’s modest.” Celestia added in.

“Be honest though Celestia, what were your exact thoughts when you met us.” Cody asked. “Just so we can know if anyone else could have pulled this off or not.”

“Well, first I heard from Twilight that there were weird creatures in the woods.” She began. “So, if she said anything negative about you, I would have come a lot less cooperative. But she didn't say anything more than you were here and looking for help. So when I arrived, and you made your first impressions, I knew you were good people. If there was any hostility or I sensed there was more to what you were telling me, again I would have been less cooperative. But you were nonthreatening and you even told me everything I wanted to know with nothing holding you back.”

“Sounds like our knowledge of the show helped some.” Matthew added.

“I can see the island!” Highfether said excitedly.

“I guess our interrogation can continue another time.” Celestia said as we all walked to the front of the ship to look.

Author's Note:

Soon they will land. Then all sorts of island shenanigans will commence. And some legal papers will be signed and exchanged.