Changes Of Heart and Soul

by Tohshi

Chapter 7

Princess Luna entered the room surprising me. I had been expecting Rarity as it had almost been an hour by my count. There wasn’t a clock in the room so I had no idea. Aegis Heart was busy giving the princess a salute.

“Private, give me a report. How has Zoe been?” asked Princess Luna. She didn’t even look at Aegis Heart as she was talking. No she had been looking at me as if she was trying to memorize every detail.

“I reported to this station at around one o’clock. Miss Rarity left shortly there after and hasn’t been back since. I have watched over Zoe from that time on. She had a fainting spell and hit her head half an hour or so after I got here and the doctor gave her a clean bill of health,” said Aegis Heart.

“Why is her wrist all bandaged up?” asked Princess Luna.

“I don’t know, your highness,” said Aegis Shield.

“Zoe, will you tell me what happened while I was asleep?” asked Princess Luna.

My vision sank to my front knees. I couldn’t look her in the eye. I said, “I cut myself.”

“How badly?” asked Princess Luna.

“Badly,” I said.

Princess Luna was quiet for a while. I could feel her gaze on me though I dared not check visually. Soaking in guilt and dread I started to shake. I felt like such a failure. I couldn’t even last a day without trying again. I was crying again. It felt like that was all I ever did was cry. I wanted to curl up into a ball and forget about all of this. I wanted to know what happiness felt like. I couldn’t even remember that.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you,” said Princess Luna. “I had not realized that it was that bad. I don’t understand what you are going through but I get parts of it. I once was a stranger in these lands similar to how you are. It was so frightening with everything changed and different from how I remembered it. But at least I had my sister. Oh she was my rock. I wouldn’t have made it out of that darkness without her. I’ll be there for you like she was for me. No mater the time if you have need of me just ask and I shall be there. My royal duties are few and far between compared to my sisters.”

“It is fine,” I said. “You don’t have to. I don’t want to be a bother. Especially to a princess.”

“Nonsense,” said Princess Luna. “You have no family in this world so I shall be that for you. As will others in time. Now scoot over so I can sit with my newest sister.”

I huffed in amusement at that but scooted over on the large bed. It was a good thing the bed was much larger than I needed as otherwise Princess Luna wouldn’t have fit. She stepped up onto the bed and then pulled me close with her wing and magic. It felt like my dream. How she had been there was beyond me but I assumed magic. Still she was warm and comfortable and I leaned into her enjoying the feeling of her fur on my skin where the cloak had been pushed aside. I felt slightly daring and I wrapped my arms around her neck in a hug. I couldn’t help it when sleep took me.

Princess Luna was still there when I woke up next. She was asleep. Gently and quietly I tried to untangle myself from the sleeping Princess. I was pulled back in by a indigo wing. Princess Luna opened her nearest eye to look at me.

“Where do you think you’re going? You have not had the requisite amount of cuddles to feel better yet,” said Princess Luna.

“Um, I’m sorry Princess. I need to go to the bathroom,” I said. The urge had hit me. “I can wait I think.”

“Oh that is fine. I had only been joking. We will go together. You shouldn’t be alone right now and you may have questions that would be better to ask a mare,” said Princess Luna. “Oh and don’t call me Princess. You can address me as Luna.”

“If you say so,” I said meekly.

“I do say so,” said Luna. “Private, I can handle this. You stay here.”

Luna lead the way to a bathroom just a little way down the hall. t was another single occupancy which made things a little awkward for me. I quickly relieved myself and found that cleanliness products were familiar to me me here. Still Luna showed me how to properly clean up after myself which was probably a good thing even if it had been embarrassing.

“Your face lights up so interestingly when you are embarrassed. Humans are quite interesting,” said Luna as we were washing our hands and hooves. I looked away awkwardly. “I wasn’t making fun of you. It was just an observation.”

“It’s fine,” I said.

“Is it really fine or are you just saying that because it is easier to say?” asked Luna.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. It is fine to not know,” said Luna. She nuzzled my head with hers. The touch was nice even if it was strange for me.

We walked back to the room to find Rarity waiting for us. She was talking to Aegis Heart about what had happened while she was gone. I didn’t pay attention to their conversation and instead hopped back up onto the bed. I felt like I was getting a handle on my body at least when it came to walking.

“Princess Luna,” said Rarity. “How are you today?”

“I am somewhat tired. It is the second day in a row I woke up early,” said Luna.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“It isn’t your fault,” said Luna. “I would gladly go the rest of eternity with early days for me if it meant you were safe.”

I looked away from her. I wasn’t worth it. Here I was wasting the princess’s time and energy. Never could I be worth her attention. I leaned down over my knees and buried my head into the blanket that was bunched up there. I didn’t want to be. As my panic grew a sort of film formed over my body a distance formed and things started to feel off. Almost numb like. As if all my sensations were coming from feet away. They were tinted and wrong like they were fake. I wasn’t real. Just a golem set about real people. Someone was stroking my back. I couldn’t tell who it was.

“It is alright, Zoe,” said Luna. Her voice was distant and something was off with it. Not in the way she was broadcasting it but in my receiving of it. It had to be something wrong with me. Faulty power lines or something. What ever power lines were.

Luna turned me on my side. My cloak had flapped open exposing me to the room. It didn’t seem to mater and at the same time I felt wrong and bad for it. I couldn’t get my limbs to move to fix it. Thankfully someone covered me back up.

“She got like this when she bumped her head,” said Aegis Shield. “I had thought it was from the fall.”

“How long was she out of it for?” asked Luna.

“Only a few moments,” said Aegis Shield.

“Is she alright?” Rarity asked. “Did the doctor check her out after the fall?”

“Yes,” said Aegis Shield. “He said there wasn’t any serious injury. Just some minor swelling.”

“That shouldn’t be causing this,” Luna said.

Their conversation had felt off and distant to me. I could follow it but It was like I was hearing it second hand. The panic that my body was feeling was still raging and I could feel my heart beating quickly in the distance.

Luna’s horn lit up and the tingling feeling from earlier came back. It was like I was being shown bit by bit where my body was. That it was real. That I could feel. The sensations of my body came back but they were too loud and I couldn’t control it. I was washed away by them.
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Twilight stretched the sleep away. It had been a while since she felt this rested. She slowly slid out of her sheets. The fog of sleep was always slow to leave Twilight’s mind and this was no exception. She needed coffee to truly be awake. Or some tea. If they hadn’t been disturbed in her absence there was some instant coffee stashed in the room. Twilight had long since learned how to properly heat water with magic and she soon had a steaming cup of joe. Even if it was not the best quality.

Time hit her like a tone of bricks. She was supposed to be with Zoe hours ago. Hopefully everything had been fine in her absence. If she was quick Twilight could grab a bite to eat on the way to met up with Zoe. The cafeteria was on the way so it wouldn’t be too much time out of her way.

Rainbow Dash was still snoring away in her sleeping bag. Twilight shook Rainbow Dash with her magic. Slowly Rainbow Dash stirred. The pegasus did a cute little stretch as she stood up.

“It’s too early Twilight,” said Rainbow Dash. “Can’t I sleep for another hour or so.”

“Rainbow it is afternoon,” Twilight said. “We should be up. Zoe needs us. I am certain that a few good friends is just what she needs right now.”

“Fine,” said an exacerbated Rainbow Dash. “From what you were telling us last night she definitely could use a bit of Rainbow Dash in her life.”

Twilight just rolled her eyes. The two of them headed out the door and down the tower. Neither of them were quite awake yet so there wasn’t much conversation. It didn’t take them long to make it to the cafeteria where they grabbed some food to go. There was always snacks prepared just for that use available to any of the castle staff and guests.

Rainbow was busy chowing down her armful of sweets as they walked from the cafeteria to the private area of the castle. Twilight was much more reserved about her eating but did try to consume her food before they made it to the medical room. She shoved the last bite into her mouth just a few feet from the door.

The door to the medical room opened before the doctor stepped out. He seemed worried to Twilight but she didn’t know him well and she didn’t trust her judgment. After all he could just look like that all the time.

“Is everything alright, doctor?” asked Twilight.

“No, that foal in there is quite the hoofful. This is the third visit I have had to make today. She is sleeping now thanks to Princess Luna but I don’t know what I can do to help when she keeps having breakdowns. Doctor Mind Matter should be back from Manehattan tomorrow,” said the doctor. “I am just trying to keep her stable till then. Sorry to complain to you so much and then just leave but I have more paperwork I need to do now.”

“Of course Doctor,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Why is Zoe so bad? I don’t think I have ever heard of somepony having this much trouble with their mind,” said Rainbow Dash. “Like I get being sad and all but this is something else entirely.”

“I don’t know,” Twilight said.

Pulling the door open with her magic, Twilight entered the surprisingly packed room. Rarity had taken up the second bed and was busy working on a project of hers while Princess Luna was standing in the walkway between the two beds and a guard was shoved into the corner looking rather worried which was a strange thing to see on the usually stoic ponies. Zoe was tightly tucked into bed.

“Good afternoon, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Luna said in a hushed voice. “Did you rest well?”

“Sorry for sleeping so long,” Twilight said. “I should have been here sooner.”

“Your presence would have been most helpful indeed,” said Princess Luna. “But she may have acted on her impulse anyway even with you there. She tried to end herself this morning.”

“What?” said Rainbow Dash louder than she should have. Zoe stirred in her sleep but did not wake. “Why would anyone do that?”

“Depression can become so serious that it effects a pony’s judgment on somethings. There are a handful of suicides a year through out Equestria,” said Princess Luna. “Zoe needs ponies to be there for her right now as friends and to be understanding not judgmental words.”

“Of course, Princess,” said Twilight.

Comments

[Spacecowboy]

Saw this, your avatar niggled at my memory. Had to look at your stories to see why. Broken then Healed was enjoyable as I recall, so I'll be giving what you have here a solid read, see how it is and let you know once I do.

[ponylover2]

Yikes that's really scary that Equestria had suicides secretly

[Texus]

She had a fainting spell and hit her head half an hour or so after I got here and the doctor gave her a clean bill of health,” said Aegis Heart.

huh? What fainting spell? did I forgot to read a part again?, and she hit her head again and again after that?, just trying to make sure I understood it right.
It starts to make more sense in the end, but I think I would still say that you please explain to me what you meant. Is it a way to say it in english or did she really cast a spell to faint or something?, I think it probably meant that she fainted after she was hitting her head?

However this chapter was really good, I pretty much enjoyed everything.

“Where do you think you’re going? You have not had the requisite amount of cuddles to feel better yet,” said Princess Luna.

that was nice.

I'm searching for a story where Luna is in love with a Human, maybe even an Pony OC if he isn't a wimp, but I want Luna to be a bit crazy there. I need to explain it with a different story.

there was a story with Dash and she accidently sleeped with the their Human guide after she got drunk. Now the next part is somehow sad and I only will concentrate on the Rainbow part for now, but this could still look funny with Luna in her place I think.
Well Dash proably didn't wanted to believe she had sex with someone she didn't really loved so she got somehow crazy and tried to act like she was his Marefriend to gain his affection but she was rather persistent in that regard and had a breakdown once they talked about it, because she lost her virginity to him.
Now I didn't meant to talk about the sex part, but I thought it would explain it better like this.

Like I said if someone knows a story where Luna is gaining her first friend (the Human), and is desperately trying to get him as a lover maybe because she understood his nice behavior wrong. I think I would like it he isn't giving in right away and if they have a huge fight and a sad Luna before he would maybe agree to date her for a while, to see if they have a future. I would like that to be the real shipping of the story to, in the different story I believe Rainbow didn't got him.

[Tohshi]

7868843 she blacked out during a flashback. That is what was supposed to be shown when she fell in an earlier chapter.

I can't help you on where to find that story. Princess Luna is an important character in this story so hopefully you will find some enjoyment here. though again not what you were looking for.

7867215 As is probably obvious by my writing I suck at editing. I have a hard time forcing myself to go through the chapter again and then I miss stuff all the time. Sorry for that. I don't really have anyone willing to help edit this right now so this is what I have. I hope that isn't a turn off to you.

Also yes this is very similar to Broken then Healed. I am starting to get to the point where it deviates from BTH in serrious ways. Soon there will be things that happen that are outside influences. They have been hinted at in chapter four but their plans will come to fruition soon. Well at least one of them will.

I hope that you find this one as enjoyable. There isn't as much heartwarming in the early parts of this story as in BTH but it will come.

[Texus]

7869210 it's okay and thank you, I only tried to figure out if a story like that exist and in chase it doesn't, I wanted to give other some ideas.