Changes Of Heart and Soul

by Tohshi

Chapter 8

“Someone will need to dedicate themselves to her for the time being,” said Princess Luna. “I sadly can not be there ever second of the day. I must guard the night from nightmares or they will start to wreck havoc on the waking world. Twilight I hate to ask this of you but would you be willing to step up for the time being?”

“I will be there but I have a life of my own and other responsibilities,” said Twilight. “I need to get back to the library. Spike needs me. And if I am being honest I don’t think I am the right person for this job. I have a hard time connecting to ponies and she needs somepony who is more than just physically there. It is too important to leave in my hooves.”

“That is very mature of you, Twilight,” said Princess Luna. “Though that leaves us with a dilemma.”

“I’ll stay with her,” said Aegis Heart. “I’m a horrible guard but I want to be there for her as she needs. I think I can be the friend she needs.”

“To do this you will have to abandon your post as a guard,” said Princess Luna. “Most would not take to that too kindly. Are you willing to go through that just for a filly who you barely know?”

“I joined the guard to make a difference,” Aegis Heart said. “I would never live out the regret of not acting when somepony needs me. I’ll be her shield from the darkness in her heart.”

“Then you are here by stripped of your rank in the guard,” Princess Luna said. “I relieve you of your oath. Your expenses will be paid by the crown as a caretaker. Now I must go inform Captain Shinning Armor of this.”

“Is there anything I can help with here?” asked Twilight of Rarity and Aegis Heart. “I feel the need to do something.”

“Darling, you are so good at magic maybe you can find some sort of spell that will help calm Zoe when she gets into one of her episodes. Preferably one that doesn’t put her to sleep. I think Aegis Heart here may need some sort of spell like that,” said Rarity.

“I would have to go do some research in the library,” Twilight said. “Are you guys fine with watching Zoe for a while by yourselves.”

“I will be fine without your assistance,” said Aegis Heart.

“Yes we will be fine here without you,” Rarity said. “It is easy to watch a sleeping filly.”

Twilight headed out the door. Rainbow Dash was still strangely quiet and still. As Twilight brushed passed her Rainbow turned and followed her out the door.
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I stirred from my strange dreamless slumber. It was weird having woken three times this day or at least I thought it was day still. I had doubts as there was a strange pony sleeping in the spare bed. He sort of looked like Aegis but he had different coloration. He must have taken off his armor.

Hunger gripped me and I knew I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep till I dealt with that. I slipped off my bed and headed towards the door. The handle was locked and there didn’t seem to be anyway to unlock it.
I was stuck with a dilemma. Did I wake Aegis or just sit in the dark waiting for him to wake? I didn’t even know how to turn on the lights. I felt like I had no real choice there. I wouldn’t wake him just because I was hungry.

I sat there for what seemed like hours as I tried to fall back asleep to no avail. The pang of hunger was getting more and more demanding of my attention. I couldn’t hold it off anymore. I had to do something. Gently I shook Aegis trying to get him to wake. He jolted to attention as if he was expecting to be attacked. A haze still seemed to float in his eyes though despite his quick jump up. After a moment he shook his head and looked down to me from where he was standing on top of the bed.

“Oh Zoe,” Aegis Heart said. “Do you need something?”

“Um,” I said. I turned away from him as I was suddenly self conscious about my need. What if he just said to go back to bed or that there wasn’t anything we could do or that he didn’t care that I needed to eat? I started to shake a bit.

“It’s alright, Zoe,” Aegis Heart said. “Whatever it is you can tell me.”

“I need to eat,” I said. “I can’t sleep because of the hunger.”

“Well lets go see if we can’t scrounge up you some food,” said Aegis Heart. “The kitchens are still open this hour of night.”

“The door is locked,” I said. “Can you get it open?”

“Yeah I was the one who locked it,” said Aegis Heart. “I didn’t want you to wake up and wander off without me. I am here to help take care of you till you get better. And I can’t do that if you leave me behind. I don’t want a repeat of this morning.”

I nodded and kept my gaze from his eyes. He didn’t trust me. It stung but wasn’t surprising and really did I trust myself? Thoughts of what I did to myself ran through my head. I started to panic again as I couldn’t shake the images of the blood running out of my wrist. I could feel the dull ache in my wrist. A reminder of my shame. Of my failure. A failure of trying to do it and of failing to succeed in trying.

Aegis Heart engulfed me in a hug which went around my waist. At first I struggled against his grip as I was assaulted by feelings of guilt and shame. But his warmth started to ward away those thoughts and left me feeling broken and sad. I leaned into his hug returning it with one of my own as my arms wrapped around his head.

“It will be alright,” said Aegis Heart. “I know it is hard right now but everything will be alright in time.”

Realizing I was pushing my bare chest into his face I pulled away and tried to cover back up with the cloak that had been pushed behind my back. Aegis let me go and looked away while I fixed my cloak. I pulled it as tightly wrapped around me as possible.

“Sorry for making you embarrassed. I can not give you hugs if you would prefer,” said Aegis Heart.

“No, I should just get used to being exposed,” I said. “It isn’t like any of you are looking at me like that. I mean I’m not even the same species. I’m not even that pretty.”

“You are quite the cute young mare,” said Aegis Heart. “Your feelings of embarrassment are valid even if I don’t look at you like that.”

“Your just saying that to make me feel better,” I said. “It is fine. I know I am a freak.”

“Your not a freak,” said Aegis Heart. “Just because your unique doesn’t make you a freak. Now no more of that talk. Lets go find you some food.”

I nodded. I didn’t say it but I still thought it. I was a freak. I hung back from Aegis and let him lead so that I could hide my tears. A battle of emotions ran through my body. On some level my body felt right. In ways that I couldn’t explain but I liked the subtle lumps of fat on my chest. They were suposed to be there. It felt like a long lost friend had returned to me. And while my pony half was weird to me it still felt right on some level. But doubt and fear had wormed its way into my feelings and tainted them. I would always be alone. No one would love a creature like me.

Aegis lead us out a large set of doors that lead to a very different part of the castle. Gone was the constant art and in its place were large portraits of ponies and other creatures. It felt empty and cold out here without the art.

There were many more guards in this section of the castle. None of them seemed to pay us any attention but when we passed a mare cleaning the floors she stopped to stare at me. I hid my face in the cloak’s hood. We quickly passed the mare by though.

The castle had been quiet up till that point but we came up to a section where there were a number of ponies talking. An open door was just a head of us and I wondered who would be up this late. We came up to the door and I peeked in. There were a surprising number of ponies in the room. Most of them had large bat like wings on their backs. There seemed to be some sort of court going on and Princess Luna was at the center of it. There didn’t seem to be any pony on trail just a bunch of ponies mingling and talking amongst themselves. A few noticed me and were staring.

Luna jumped over the crowd spreading her wings to glide over to the door way. Every eye was now on the two of us. I stared at the floor and tried to make myself as small as possible. I could feel their stares through the cloak. Whispers too faint to tell what they contained reached my ears. Shakes started to fill my form as tears ran down my checks. They were talking about how hideous I was. I could tell.

“What are you two doing out of the private area’s of the castle? Celestia didn’t want Zoe known to the public yet. Though at this point it is likely too late,” said Luna.

“My apologies, your highness,” said Aegis Heart. “I wasn’t aware of that. We were headed to the kitchens to grab something for Zoe to eat.”

“In that case Aegis Heart would you mind continuing to the kitchens while I spend some time with Zoe. That way we limit her exposure to the public and I get to spend time with my little sister. That is if she doesn’t mind spending time with me here?” asked Luna.

“Um it is fine. If you say that it is alright. I don’t want to interrupt your meeting,” I said.

“You are not interrupting. This is just a simple social gathering that we have every month on the full moon. Besides I am certain that many here would be interested in meeting you,” said Luna.

“Okay,” I said.

“I’ll be back soon with food,” said Aegis Heart. “Is there anything that you want in particualr, Zoe?”

“Um not really just food,” I said.

“In that case ask for two orders of macaroni and cheese. Tell them to make them Princess sized,” said Luna.

“As you wish, your Highness,” said Aegis Heart. He walked off down the hallway leaving me with Luna and the bat ponies who were still staring at me.

“Everyone I want you to meet my adopted sister, Zoe,” said Luna loudly. “She is new to this realm and a bit shy so do be gentle with her.”

Everyone of the bat ponies bowed their heads before turning away to their conversations. Many were clad in special looking clothes and jewelry. Luna and I made our way through the sea of ponies till she was sitting back down on a large throne. There wasn’t another seat so I just stood near her chair.

“Come sit with me. There is room,” Luna said. She scooted over and there was a sliver of throne available for me that looked barely large enough for me.

“Is it fine to be so close to a princess in public?” I asked. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“I’m a princess. I get to decide who gets in trouble. So quit your worrying,” said Luna. “Beside you are now my sister. And that would make you a princess too. Princesses are allowed to sit on thrones.”

“I’m not worthy of being a princess,” I said.

“I think you are worthy,” said Luna. “Are you saying that I am wrong?”

“Uh, um,” I stammered. Renewed tears ran down my checks and my shaking returned. My world froze stuck on the contradiction of my fear of upsetting Luna who had been nothing but nice to me and my own self loathing. The fight was not over when I was lifted off my hooves and placed next to Luna on her throne. A metal object was placed on my head.

“There now you have a crown. Definitely a princess now,” said Luna.

Everyone in the room was back to staring. I froze. I couldn’t move and I toppled over when Luna gave me a slight push. Thankfully she caught me and the crown. Her magic felt warm against my skin. Her magic thankfully held my cloak closed. I leaned up against Luna after she righted me.

“Your highness, please allow me to introduce myself to your ‘sister’,” said a pony who had approached during my little spill. He had charcoal gray fur and a brilliant white mane. Luna simple nodded at him. “Greetings Princess Zoe. I am Duke Shrouded Night. I am at your service.”

“Um, thank you,” I said quietly. I buried my head in Luna’s mane trying to hide my growing discomfort. It wasn’t working.

“Please forgive my sister,” said Luna. “She is more shy than I had thought. Maybe this is all too much for her. We will have to retire for the night then.”

“There is nothing to forgive, your Highnesses,” said Duke Shrouded Night. He wandered back into the party. I peaked out from behind Luna’s head to watch him return to a mare which he nuzzled gently when he got to her. Maybe I was being childish. These ponies wouldn’t hurt me.

“Is this too much for you?” asked Luna quietly so only I could hear. “If it is we can go else where.”

“No,” I said. “I don’t want to take you from your party. I’ll be fine. Everything is fine.”

“Something tells me otherwise,” said Luna. “But if you feel up to it we shall stay. Though so you know more will likely want to introduce themselves to you.”

“This is all your fault,” I said in just above a whisper. “I’m no princess.”

“You are now,” said Luna.

I could tell she was being playful but I was worried about what that was going to mean. I stewed over this for a while. I barely paid attention when several others came and introduced themselves to me. Their names were a blur to me.

Aegis Heart returned with a tray floating in his magical aura. Food had arrived. Just in time as I was starting to feel the drain of sleep coming again. Luna and I ate as we watched the ponies mingle. It was strangely fascinating despite the lack of action. They came in such a wide variety of colors which was of great fascination to me. Though none were as brightly colored as the blue and rainbow mare from before. With food in my belly it was hard to resist the call of sleep and I feel asleep leaning against Luna.

Comments

[ponylover2]

Awesome chapter my friend and I can't wait for the next upload for this story I'll be waiting my friend and keep me posted on the story thanks

[Texus]

Though none were as brightly colored as the blue and rainbow mare from before.

hhhmmm is that supposed to mean something? Is this a little pointer to a romance?

“This is all your fault,” I said in just above a whisper. “I’m no princess.”

“You are now,” said Luna.

I needed to stop for a moment, at first I thought it was mean of Luna to just make her a princess and I didn't noticed that it was Luna being playfull at first. However after I had read that sentence everything was alright, in fact I actually started thinking about the real situation again.

They need to make her feel like she is wanted, then they need to make sure she likes herself againt I guess, then giving her some friends along the way. As usually I hope she is getting some funny and maybe even clumsy friends that aren't the usual main six too. Somehow I really enjoy Rarity in this story and somehow I even start to like Aegis.
I guess because of some certain storys I don't liked the way I expect some characters might act like, but that little Guard there looks alright so far.

Only to be sure, our...main char is as big as Luna?, sorry I'm not that concentrated this week, it could have to do with the things I have to do and problems I have to solve at the moment.

[Tohshi]

7872509 Zoe is much smaller than Luna. Her pony half is shorter than Twilight and she is about a head taller than Twilight with her human half counted.

I hope that you continue to like Aegis Heart after I start his story in the next few chapters.

I want to have characters other than the Mane six being friends with Zoe. This story is going to deal with some major things in Equestria. Such as the return of the Crystal Empire and other things that have been hinted at (very bluntly) already in the story but I don't want to spoil anyway. This story is also Twilight's story. So the mane six will be a part of it. Though again not that big of a part. No Twilight's part is pretty major from events that happen but in part it is how those around her, specifically Zoe deal with the aftermath.

Also Zoe is a princess in the same sense that Blueblood is a Prince. Has a title but no real political power.

7872196 Again thanks for the comment. I hope you continue to like this story. Feel free to message me if you have any ideas or questions.

[Texus]

7872544

Also Zoe is a princess in the same sense that Blueblood is a Prince. Has a title but no real political power.

honestly even if you maybe don't think that way, I thought this is only because Zoe has that huge problem, if she would be worth it and if she is hearled, then she would probably get at least some part of the power.

I don't mind Twilight being there, but I like that she is getting her own friends. The thing with the guards....well I try to explain it, but it is not always that easy or exactly like that.
I hate romances like those in which some childhood friend is going to marry another one, just because they knew each other from the start (in every game, movie and story, but sometimes it can be done good.

While I'm not sure if her height would make a romance even likely to happen, my reaction in the first second was the usual one.
My second reason is, that I don't exactly enjoy
- Rainbow having her fanfilly relationship because of Soarin being a Wonderbolt, at least if it is not shown that she like him for something else.
- Celestia or Luna always falling in love with someone at the castle or a guard (as if it couldn't happen otherwise considering some other stories). Sometimes I believe this here has to do with some authors making it look like they abuse their power, or that it looks like they are to affraid to not get into a relationship with them. I just miss the reasons often enough, I'm not a fan of those short flashbacks where they never actually have a reason to suddenly love the princesses. In one story a gardener from Luna just talked with her and didn't even seems interessted, but suddenly she was asking him and I believe he just agreed.

- a guard captain getting forced or talked into a relationship with his underling.
I guess it is just to much of a coincidence to me most of the time. Well most likely my first concern was because of a possible romance and some akward things happening that I couldn't really describe right now.

Everything can be done right and as much as I read here I see many different people with many different tastes, so of course it isn't going to happen always like I want it, or maybe sometimes even to crazy or perverted.

Anyway good night, which time is it for you now?

[Tohshi]

7872653 It is just afternoon here. I am in the Pacific north west.