Changes Of Heart and Soul

by Tohshi

Chapter 6

“Will she be alright doctor?” asked Applejack. She paced back and forth in the medical room. Zoe was sleeping.

“Physically yes but I don’t have any experience with depression. Her mind is what is sick and I can’t heal that,” said the doctor.

“Surely there must be something that we can do?” asked Rarity. “We can’t just leave her like this and wait for the next time she tries this.”

“No I wouldn’t recomend that. Next time she might be sucessful. She needs a therapist which hopefully we can find one willing to work with her. Maybe Princess Luna’s will be open,” said the doctor. “I’ll request one from Princess Celestia.”

“Request granted,” said Princess Celestia as she walked into the now cramped room. “I’ll have one here for when she wakes up. For the time being I want there to be someone with her at all times. I will assign her a guard but that will take a few hours. Can I rely on one of you two for that?”

“Of course Princess,” said Applejack. “One of us will be here till you can get her help. Can you have some one get the rest of the girls? I figure having friends around would be help her out.”

“Just ask one of the guards and they will gather your friends. I wish I had more time to spend on this but the duties of the nation call me away,” Princess Celestia said.

“We will make sure she is well taken care of, your highness,” said Rarity.
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Aegis Heart had just finished his morning training with Captain Shinning Armor. He was dead tired and he had guard duty in just a little while. Staring at a blank wall for hours waiting for someone to come by in an under used area of the castle sounded painful to him. Well at least not falling asleep while doing so would be the painful time. He couldn’t get caught falling asleep at his post again. That punishment was brutal.

The captain was walking towards him. Great Aegis Heart wasn’t good enough during the training and now the captain was going to chew him out personally. This happened to one of the privates almost daily. Aegis Heart shifted to attention and saluted.

“At ease, private,” said Shinning Armor. “I have a change of duties for you. Orders from Celestia herself. You are to report to her private medical quarters and guard her guest for the next few hours while we work out a permanent guard for her. This means where ever she goes you go. I don’t care how improper it is. You are to be gum in her hoof. The guest is sick and you may have to protect her from herself.”

“Sir, Yes, Sir,” said Aegis Heart.

“Oh and don’t fall asleep on the job, private,” said Shinning Armor. Shinning Armor saluted Aegis and walked away.

Aegis Heart breathed a sigh of relief. That went better than he was expecting. A new assignment meant that he was finally starting to be trusted with stuff. Besides guarding a guest couldn’t be too hard.
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I woke up back in the room I had slept in the previous night. I didn’t really know what to call this room as it wasn’t really a bedroom and there wasn’t anything else to give away what it was. But I didn’t dwell on this thought for long.

My wrist ached though it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I lifted my arm up to see it bandaged. Regret poured into me. Both for not suceeding and for even trying to end my life. It wasn’t so bad here but I felt empty and without purpose. I had nothing not even my memories or her memories. It was confusing. I wasn’t supposed to be alive. Only through weird arcane means did I still breathe.

“Darling, why did you do that to yourself?” asked Rarity. It had taken me a second to remember her name. That and I hadn’t noticed that she was there before she spoke.

“I’m not supposed to be alive,” I said. “I shouldn’t be. I’m a mistake. A freak.”

“Darling I simply can not disagree enough. You are meant to be alive and you are certainly not a freak. Unique maybe but that doesn’t make you a freak,” said Rarity.

I didn’t believe her. I was not supposed to be. I was not supposed to be. I was not supposed to be. I kept repeating that over and over in my head. Guilt over how much time I was taking up from others. Rarity and the others were just here for me when they had lives they were supposed to be attending too.

“Would you mind standing over here for me, Darling?” asked Rarity. “I need to get your measurements so I can get started on some clothes for you. Won’t that be nice to have something to make you look pretty?”

I stumbled off the bed and over to where Rarity had pointed. Clothes would be nice but it seemed like such a waste of her time. I said, “You don’t have to. I’ll be fine with just the cloak.”

“Nonsense Darling,” said Rarity. “You need some clothes that properly fit you. Besides I want to do this. It will be a fun challenge to design for you.”

“If you insist,” I said.

Rarity’s horn lit up and a measuring tape floated over to us from the bags near the door. My cloak was unclasped by her magic and set down on my bed nicely folded. My arms were tightly pressed against my chest hiding my breasts.

“I know that this is embarrassing for you but I need you to hold your limbs out so I can properly meassure your torso,” Rarity instructed. A note pad floated out of the bags and over to us along with a quill and hovered in front of Rarity.

I did as I was told. The tape measure wrapped around my bosom and back. My face went bright red at the touch. I tried my best to sit still and not breathe too much so as to not mess up Rarity’s work.

“What brought on that reaction, dear?” asked Rarity.

“Um, that area is private. Only for lovers to touch,” I said. “It is fine. Just not used to it. They are new.”

“Well sorry for making you uncomfortable,” Rarity said.

She went to work quickly getting measurements for everything from arm length to finger length and then she moved on to my lower half. I was happy to be able to cover myself back up again as she ran the tape measure around my lower back.

“So what is your favorite color?” asked Rarity.

“Um purple,” I responded.

“That is a lovely color. A lighter tint of that would look good on you. Like a lilac or periwinkle.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you remember any types of clothes humans wore on their torsos? I assume shirts and maybe dresses but anything else?”

“I don’t remember. I’m sorry I am useless.”

“Darling, it isn’t any problem if you don’t remember. This just means we get to experiment until we find stuff that works. I think something tight fitting would be good for you. It would accentuate your curves which you’re lucky enough to have more of than the typical mare.”

“No man is going to find me attractive.”

“There are plenty of stallions who would love to be with you. Love between species isn’t that rare. Why I have a number of novels about that very thing. Do you like reading dear?”

There was a knock on the door before it opened. I dove for my cloak and managed to have it part way on before the pony walked in. He was a unicorn that looked just like the other unicorn guards with their gray fur and manes.

“Sorry for the surprise, Ma’ams,” said the guard.

“A bit more time between the knock and your entry would have been welcome but no harm no foul. If you don’t mind me asking why are you here?” asked Rarity.

“I am here to guard the Princess’s guest. I am uncertain which of you that applies to.”

“Me,” I said. “I have a babysitter now.”

“It is called a foalsitter dear,” said Rarity.

“Fine a foalsitter,” I replied.

“I wouldn’t dare think of telling you what to do Ma’am. You’re the guest of the Princess it would be improper of me to make demands of you.”

“Why don’t you introduce yourself to this handsome guard, Zoe,” said Rarity.

“Oh. Uh. Hi. My name is Zoe,” I said.

“My pleasure to meet you. My name is Aegis Heart,” said the guard.

“Aegis Heart, if you are going to be here I need to run and grab some supplies so I can start work on a project for Zoe. Will you be alright watching her by yourself? She needs somepony to be there for her right now,” said Rarity. “That and I need to find out what is taking Applejack so long.”

“I will guard her with my life,” said Aegis Heart.
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“Now were in tarnation did I end up now?” asked Applejack of no one in particular.

Somehow Applejack had taken a turn and found herself faced with another set of stairs and the sinking feeling that she should have asked for directions when she last saw a guard. Shrugging it off she started to climb the stairs.
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I was staring at Aegis Heart from my perch on my bed. Either he didn’t notice or more likely he had been trained to ignore it. I was bored and didn’t know what to do about it. If anything. I didn’t really feel like doing anything so I continued to stare at Aegis.

“Did you need something, miss?” asked Aegis Heart. “You’ve been staring for a while now.”

“No not really,” I said. “I guess I do have one question. Why do all the unicorn guards look the same?”

“There is a glamor on us that makes us look the same while in uniform. You have to be a Lieutenant-Captain or higher to wear your own coat colors,” said Aegis Heart. “I’m just a private hence the gray.”

“Oh,” I said. “Isn’t that weird to look just like everyone else?” I asked.

“Certainly. Especially at first. But you get used to it after a while,” said Aegis Heart.

“On some level it must be nice to look like everyone else. At least then you don’t stick out like a sore thumb,” I said.

“What is a sore thumb? Is that a minotaur saying?” asked Aegis Heart.

I gave him a thumbs up and said, “That is a thumb. I don’t know where the saying came from or if minotuars have a similar phrase.”

“Where are you from then?” asked Aegis Heart. “You definitely aren’t from around here.”

“I don’t know really. I don’t remember much else than this castle,” I said.

Memories of my jump, of her jump, ran through my head again. My heart pumped faster and faster as I fell into the memory till I was fully submerged in it. Everything else had faded and now all there was was the wind blowing in my face and the feeling of my stomach pushing its way upwards. Then pain. So much pain all in an instant. Then there was sweet nothingness.

Aegis shield was shaking me. He was shouting at me or something else I couldn’t tell. I had some how ended up on the floor and my head hurt. Everything just felt unreal. Only the pain felt real and even that was distant. I barely registered that other ponies were entering the room. Someone lifted me up back onto the bed.

“Its fine,” I said. Or at least it sort of felt like I had said that. I heard it distantly in my voice. “Everything is fine.”

The tingling pain sensation of someone scaning me brought me back into my body. My head felt like it had been hit with a semi truck. I tried to sit up and cradle my head in my hands but a hoof pushed me back down into a laying position.

Just rest for a moment or two okay,” said Aegis Heart. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch you. I wasn’t expecting you to fall over like that.”

“Me neither,” I said quietly.

“Just some slight swelling is all,” said a voice I recognized. It must have been the doctor.

Guilt ate at me for taking so much of everyones time. Aegis was stuck on foalsitting duty because of me. The doctor probably had more important patients to tend to than me. Tears sprung up wetting my checks.

“Is the pain that bad? We can get you some pain killers that should soothe that,” said Aegis Shield.

“No. It isn’t that. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me. Everything is fine,” I said.

“Clearly it isn’t. Or are those tears of joy?” asked Aegis Heart.

He was right things weren’t fine.

Comments

[ponylover2]

Awesome chapter my friend and I can't wait for the next upload for this story I'll be waiting my friend and keep me posted on the story thanks

[Texus]

“Just ask one of the guards and they will gather your friends. I wish I had more time to spend on this but the duties of the nation call me away,” Princess Celestia said.

I think it depens on how someone writes the story, but I'm sure the country maybe could handle herself for day as long as decisions are still made if something important happens.

Not bad, but maybe I should stop reading if I don't have enough time, I often feel like it is changing my opinion slightly, that I may enjoy some stuff less because I always have to finish a bit faster than usually.

[Tohshi]

7861334 could it and will Celestia let it are two different things. It is a Tuesday in story which are busy government days. And Celestia has issues letting go of her projects even if just for a while when she can delegate the distraction to someone else.

All that said I am trying to juggle a lot of characters and some of my representations may not quite make the mark.

[Texus]

7862248 Not sure if I understood everythingthis time, you know with me being the German guy, but you can do what you want with Celestia, I just always wish to name it if I see her act like that.
However it is nice to have a different explanation for her behavior, I like to hear that you thought a bit more about her. (that is if I understood everything the way you meant it).

I guess I just wish to see them not being that stupid once, not that this would have been bad, but I want to see more princesses that actually remember that they actually can have a bit more freedome. Some people may have some good explanations, but I don't believe that they can't get more freedom.