Pyrophobia

by VilkaTheWolf

Chapter Three: Triple Distilled

As I came to, I recognised the familiar feeling of another hangover. I also realised I was still on the floor where I fainted. I slowly opened my eyes to the sight of the po- Triple Distilled. Shit, what else can I call her? I didn’t want to keep using her full name.

“Trippy?” I asked, coming up with a nickname in the process.

“Wh-what?” Trippy stammered, she is...blushing furiously? I guess she didn’t like the nickname. “W-why are you c-c-calling me that? I-I-I’ve n-never had a n-n-nickname before...” she continued to stammer, fiddling with her hair mane in the process.

Oooh....Did she like it? I’m very confused. “Uh, yeah...is that okay?” I ask, “I mean, it’s easier than saying ‘Triple Distilled’ all the time right?”

“Oh, um...I guess.” She shrugged, regaining some her composure. “So...how are you feeling?” She asked, concern in her voice.

“Well it feels like everything’s upside down and someone is knocking on the inside of my skull, but besides that I’m fine. How are you?”

Trippy just stared at me, I couldn’t figure out if she was disappointed in me or was still trying to work out what exactly I was...probably the former. Dunno why, she’s not my mother.

And then, I just had to open my big fat mouth, “What?” I said, putting my hands up innocently.

Trippy then began to go into a massive rant, "Do you realise how irresponsible you are!? I mean I get it, end of the world nopony's around, but it doesn't give you an excuse to drink drive. You're lucky you only just missed me, and what if you actually hit me or somepony else. Besides even if there's nopony around and you're driving like a maniac you can still crash and die yourself. Oh and then you continued to drive while drunk with me in the back, just great then we both could've died. And you had an unrestrained load as well, stuff all knocking about back there, what if something hit me in the head, I could've died from that. Did you think about that huh? Did ya? And then just coming in here with all this," she just gestures to all of me, "I mean, of course I'm gonna freak out if a dragon comes at me, and then you just scream like a girl, because—newsflash—you are one."

Nopony? Somepony? Why is she speaking like that? "Okay well sorry about it." After she had calmed down from her rant I finally asked, “Oh yeah, what were you doing out in the middle of road?”

After sending a scathing glance my way she answered, “I was getting ingredients.”

“For?”

What came next would determine our everlasting friendship.

“Alcohol duh, why’d you think my name was Triple Distilled? For being a-AAH” Trippy was cut off as I suddenly lifted her off the ground in an embrace. “What?”

“Oh Trippy, Trippy, Trip, we are just gonna be the best of friends I’m sure!” I said, holding her closer.

Trippy on the other hand was probably deeply regretting ever meeting me, too late now. Prying herself off me she retreated a few steps, “Yes...anyway, I was on my way back to my refinery when you happened.” She finished, pointing an accusatory finger hoof at me.

"Yeah.…" I trailed off, feeling guilty. I then remember Trippy mentioning how something happened and everyone got turned into ponies, and ugh...dragons. I wanted to find out more about it.

"Say, uh, Triple...this cataclysmic event, can you tell me more about it?"

She gave me a confused look, before softening her expression. "Oh, yeah, you still probably have lots of questions. Sorry for, um, ranting at you before. I just don't like seeing people drink and drive."

She looked up at me forlornly with big, sparkly, teal eyes, making me very uncomfortable.

"Ah yeah it's fine," I said, clearing my throat, "It's not the first ti-" seeing Triple's horrified expression I decided to change my answer, "-me that someone has ranted at me.” Please don't hurt me.

My answer must have satisfied her because she sat down in front of me to answer my questions.

"Okay, so this 'Event'," I began, making quotations marks with my...er…claws, "When did it happen? What happened? Why did it happen?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Trippy cut me off. “I remember going to bed on May twenty-second and waking up sometime in August." She then shifted her gaze up to the left, and then straight to the right.

I recognised the shifty eyes, she was trying to make something psychical up, but she was also remembering something that was spoken. What doesn't she want me to know?

"And then some big magic thing happened and people got turned into ponies and other things," she glanced at me, "but it wasn't perfect and everyone got split up throughout time." She then looked down, "As for why I don't know." And then she added, albeit in a hushed tone, "I forgot to ask."

She's obviously got secrets, but I won't pry, I thought. Not yet.

"So, uh. What was your human name?" She might not have wanted to answer, but I had a plan.

"Umm, I don't really want to say." Called it! Time for my brilliant plan.

"Listen, Trip, if you tell me, I'll let you come up with a new name for me." I offered, smiling proudly.

She sat up and brightened, "Oh, well...I suppose I could tell you. But you gotta promise me something."

"What?"

She walked up and surprised me by somehow grabbing the neck of my hoodie with her hoof.

"If you ever say it to anypony I will end you, and under no circumstances are you to refer to me by that name. Got it!?"

I nodded my head as quickly as I could. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.

"Claire Everen."

It was a nice name. But I didn't dare repeat it.

She then gave me a wry grin, Oh no, I really should keep my mouth shut sometimes.

"And as for you, I'll need time to come up with a decent name. But don't think you're off the hook."

I needed to change the topic away from my name. "Um, how about I take you to your refinery now then? I'm well-rested now." I lied.

"Sure, but this time I'll sit in the passenger seat, not in the back."

I collected the canned food I had dropped on our way out of the dilapidated house, "Here, I got this for you," I said, offering her one of the canned fruits.

She thanked me and we walked to my ute, which I had parked on the other side of the road like a fucking idiot. Now I had to walk an extra couple of metres, what a bore. As I got close I noticed the damage from our near accident. The front fender had scrapes on the bottom of it. I wondered if I could fix it, worried about rust now that the paint had been scraped off.

I had a light bulb moment. Duct tape!

I opened the passenger door for Trip. "Make yourself comfy, I'm just going back to look for something." While Trip got into the seat I ran back to the house.

Duct tape, duct tape, duct tape. I repeated over and over in my head while I searched. Looking through kitchen drawers and cupboards and came up empty-handed. What kind of person doesn't own duct tape?

"Duct tape is also in the garage." I mused to myself. Second light bulb moment of the day! Lo and behold, there it was! It was also at this moment that I heard the familiar roar of a V8 engine with a double exhaust.

She's stealing my ute!

I felt my dragon instincts telling me to search and destroy, and I gladly obliged.

Running outside as fast as my legs could take me, which was surprisingly fast. By the time I was outside, however, Triple Distilled was already gone. I could faintly make out my beloved ute in the distance, but no matter how fast I ran I could not catch her.

"DAMN YOU TRIPLE!!!" I roared, filled with insatiable rage. "I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL MAKE YOU SORRY!!"

I continued to roar in anger until I fell onto my knees.

I felt an animalistic need rise up in me, a need for vengeance. Almost instinctually, automatically. I knew what to do, I could feel how I was going to get my stuff back.

Author's Note:

Thanks to abphinsom for editing this chapter too.

Triple Distilled is a 2008 album by Graham Day.

Comments

[Pluto Daze]

It was at this moment Triple knew: She fucked up!

[DaJoesefMan]

Ooohh Triple....
You know that's a dragon you just angered, right?
P.S. Y'know what's flammable?
Alcohol.

And you have a refinery potentially filled with it.

[Neece]

8248379
Our intrepid hero, destroy alcohol? HERESY!!!

[Lord Of Dorkness]

I get that a working vehicle is rarer then freaking hen's teeth one year post the world ended...

But man, what type of utter, utter idiot steals from a dragon that just more or less declared you their BFF as long as you keep doing the one thing you consider your purpose in life?!

A dragon with enough mechanical expertise and knack for looting to get the congealed and rusted heap of scrap running in the first place, nonetheless!

It's like finding the Hope Diamond just laying in the street, and using it to vandalize the local police station! What type of utter moron don't see how badly that's going to end for them?1