Pyrophobia

by VilkaTheWolf

Chapter Ten: Going Home

Twenty minutes after the fiasco with the Refidex the four of us pile into the ute, Triple is still riding shotgun while I drive. Crack and Mic were in the back last I checked. I wasn't looking back at them while I drove. South-west towards Undullah, that was where my parents' house was, situated on a large hundred and twenty acre property. I had fond memories of bush-bashing shitboxes through tracks there in my youth. A sudden wave of melancholic uncertainty overcame me halfway into the forty minute trip.

Would I ever even see my family again? Mum, Dad, Alice... and her boyfriend Luke. I miss them. I didn't want to cry again though, not this soon. Gotta hold it together for another six months then explode. Rinse and repeat. It was my standard go-to for dealing with emotions, so why was it so much harder to keep it together now?

I pat the front of my hoodie and, to my relief, my wallet is still there. I can't think about my family now.

"Hold the wheel.”

Without waiting to see if Triple heard me I pull out my wallet and flip to my driver's licence.

Out of the corner of my eye I see that Triple is struggling to keep my ute straight...on an empty road. Giving an exasperated sigh I grab the wheel again with my right hand as I continue to stare at my license picture in my left. Letting go of any chance of being human or male again I balance the license on my dash. In full view of Triple too, I see her looking at it.

I always hated how my license picture made me look like a criminal, I then hear Triple make a "hm" sound. She must not have expected me to react.

Answering "Yeah?" she jumped a little.

She fiddles with her hooves uncomfortably for a second, "It's just...you're not the worst looking guy I've seen."

Nice backhanded compliment there. "Were." I corrected her.

"I'm not a guy anymore...It's a weird thing to get used to." Which is the honest truth, it was harder for me to acclimate to my gender changing than my species and general physiology.

But to answer her, I replied "Thanks though."

Was Triple into the 'bad boy' types?

Lucky for her, I’m bad at everything. A relationship of any kind with anyone was likely out of reach for me now anyway, however. Besides the obvious gender dysphoria, I guess I would also be dealing with something similar regarding my sexual orientation, like was I a lesbian now or would I like guys… ugh.

Wanting to change the subject away from that as quickly as I can I moved my hand over to tap Triple, but she flinches as I raise my arm.

Oh, she's still scared of me... figures. I retract my hand and place it in my lap instead I start with, "Were you gonna give me a new name?" I didn't want a new name. I was still Nat and am internally struggling enough as it is. But, anything to get her to like me I guess.

Her change of expression was immediately noticeable. Never knew she was this keen to make up a name for me. What was the harm in allowing her then?

"Talon!" she offers excitedly.

"No." I reply flatly. I can already tell the remainder of the drive will be long.

"Jay."

"That's just another human name." I shut down.

"Scorch."

I winced, "No." My preference was against fire-related names.

"Jade."

"I'm red." I start to get bored.

"Red?" She asks, out of confusion. Almost surprised that the colour of my scales are in fact red. She then looks down slightly abashed. "Oh."

"Are you... colourblind?" I asked.

She nodded slowly, shying away with her head down with reddened cheeks. I wonder if she even knew what colour she was, deciding not to mess with her. I drop it.

"So what, it's cool." I try to reassure her. "Wanna go back to coming up with names?"

She wipes a tear from her eye that had formed earlier and nodded, smiling again at me. momentary sadness forgotten, we continue to rattle off names for another ten minutes.

"What about just Red?" Triple backtracks.

"Red...huh. I guess that'll work." Short and to the point.

"But uh... do you think you can withhold from calling me that straight away?"

After a quizzical look from her I continued, "I feel like if I change my name I'll lose another bit of myself. You've had a year to come to terms with everything, I've had a day."

I could practically hear Triple deflate at that.

"But ya know... you can call me that as a nickname." I turn to her and give a genuine smile, careful not to show too many teeth before adding, "Ease me into it."

"Sure thing... Red." She giggled after saying my new nickname.

It did have a nice ring to it, baby steps though. I'll still demand Crack and Mic to address me by my real name.

After another twenty minutes, we near my parents' place as the scenery changes from suburban to rural. The distance between houses became greater and greater, as I slow down from a hundred and twenty and pull into a driveway. Only another seven minutes up the five kilometre driveway, I drive slower as I know that rocks may flick up and damage my ute's underside.

It was only now that I decided to look back at my other passengers knocking and bumping around in the back, they were still there though.

Triple doesn't seem much concerned for her friends, she is too enamored by the large landscape of my family's property. It'd been a while since I last came here, a year with no maintenance definitely shows too. I enjoy watching her reaction, it's probably a big change from a city-dweller like she might have been.

After a couple more kilometres my parents' house came into view, the modern aesthetic of it contrasting with the vast landscape.

"Dude, are your parents rich!?" Crack shouted, popping his head around in a rare moment of lucidity.

"Not really," I answer back to him plainly not being in the mood to degrade him, "They are in debt though." That's why I left when I did.

Pulling in my ute to a stop under the car port I grab my license and wallet and get out to approach the house. The others soon follow, I grab my car keys with certainty that I had a key to the front door.

Not that one. Nope. That's my back door.

I continue to fiddle with my keys until, Ah ha! Found it. Sliding the key into the hardwood front door I feel relief when the door opens. The house was still clean enough, all things considered. Now I could have kicked the door down, but I wanted to show the place a little more care and respect than previous doors.

I look to my side at the small table by the door and consider placing my keys on it, but decide against it and place them in my pocket. I wasn't ready to test those waters again.

I walk around the living room aimlessly as the trio of ponies enter after me.

"Nice crib." I hear Mic mutter.

He was still limping on his front leg.

I don't dignify his comment with a response and continue to walk around the old family house. Connected to the open-plan living room was the kitchen. I enter the kitchen area and open the fridge only to have my nostrils assaulted by the putrid stench of year-old off foodstuffs. Gross. I slam it shut again.

Trying out my new dragon strength I pull the fridge out from the wall, the plug snaps off after it. One, two... three! I heave and lift the full fridge over my shoulder, it's well over a hundred kilograms and I lift without issue or strain. Almost amazed, I carry it towards the sliding glass door at the side of the house.

"Door please." I shout out to anyone, I didn't want to just break through the doors. It was still my parents' place after all. Surprisingly, Mic was the one to grab the door for me. After sliding back two, I nod my thanks and go outside. A little way from the back patio was a clearing and then a sudden drop.

"Hey guys!" I call back, "Come watch this!"

Triple, Crack and Mic follow me outside. I walk closer to the edge of the drop and throw the fridge with all my might, "Yeet!"

I yell out. It flew at least a few metres. I looked back at them unexpectedly, almost like a child wanting approval.

Crack and Mic however cringe at my attempt at humour, now outdated by about two years. Triple meanwhile, stifles a giggle. That made me happy enough.

I ignore Crack and Mic's lackluster reaction to my magnificent feat of strength and head back inside. In the kitchen again, I rustle around on the top shelves searching for booze. I find a bottle of American Honey, nice. Flicking the cap off I walk down the hallway investigating the rest of the house, taking sips of the whiskey as I go.

I reach my old room, second on the right. I see that Mum never changed the doona, it was still Star Wars. Classic, I'm surprised that it was never changed into a spare room. Almost as if they expected me to come back and live here. I decide to drink further and reminisce.

By the time I exit my room it was nearing lunch time, I down the remainder of my drink and begin chomping down the bottle. Just a little tipsily, I shuffle into the lounge room to see the others just sitting around enjoying each others' company. Not wanting to disturb them I shuffle to the front door and outside to my ute.

I grab some canned foods suitable for soft pony palettes. Fruits and beans. I head back inside and give one to Mic, one to Crack, and two to Triple - she deserves more. Myself on the other hand, continue to eat my glass bottle. I can tell it still unsettles Crack and Mic, Triples seems to have gotten used to it.

From my experience, glass only just satisfies my hunger. It is, if anything, a light snack.

As Triple struggles to open her can she turns to me and asks, “Hey Red, where do your folks keep the can opener?” Using my new nickname.

“Dunno, toss me the can.”

Applying a little pressure with my claws broke the lids easily.

We sit in silence for what feels like hours. The food gets finished and no one says or does anything. We sit and twiddle our thumbs, or hooves in their case. Until I hear some commotion coming from outside. Dogs barking.

Dogs? The family dogs, Diamond the Irish Wolfhound, Autumn the Kelpie, and Brick the Bull Arab-cross-Mastiff. Last I saw Brick when he was only a puppy.

I make no time rushing outside to meet the pets. Not giving a second thought to how they might react to my appearance. They approach cautiously as I hold out my hand for them.

Brick, now fully grown, approaches me first. He sniffs my hand before licking me and jumping on me playfully. The others soon copied him. I was glad they recognised my scent.

I play with the dogs outside for a good while. Noting through their interaction with each other, they seem to have gained more intelligence. Emotions were easier to read upon their muzzles.

Soon Triple and the other two joined me outside and I introduced them to the dogs. They all fell in love quickly and the dogs were eager to play with the others too.

The day turns into late afternoon, then night. Our motley crew passed the time wandering the large property, the dogs acted as our guides. Guide dogs, if you will. Before the darkness envelopes everything fully, we made our way back to the house. It was on our way back that I have the brilliant idea of lighting our bonfire, which had already been piled up with mountains of scrap wood.

Despite my fear of fire, I enjoyed a good bonfire (from a distance, of course). My plan was to also add some petrol to the fire and keep it burning into the morning. Perhaps it would serve as a signal fire if there were anymore Returned, my new name for displaced peoples. It sounds cool in my head.

Triple, ever the voice of reason attempted to dissuade me against it, "Such a large fire is really dangerous, and frankly irresponsible. What if it spreads."

My argument for it involved controlling it with the garden hose. It was tank water and the pump should be in working order.

She sighed in mock defeat, "At least go and test if the water actually works." Raising an eyebrow at me.

Visibly giddy with excitement, I ran down to Dad's shed to get the hose, the shit one that we used for bonfires. Mum would have a cow if we used her good hose. And so, the bonfire is lit with flames reaching metres high.

The four of us sit around and stare at first. I want to break the silence. Say something, anything. I truly do want to get along with these new companions of mine. My anger towards them, it wasn’t mine. It was something deeper inside me that wanted out.

However, socializing was never my strong suit. I must have been noticeably fidgeting and squirming, because I felt Triple’s hoof on my hand. I felt heat rising to my face as I try to swallow my pride, looking up at her I see the light flickering across her facial features. She must have read my mind somehow as she had a serene smile on her muzzle. She understands, I look behind her at the other two with similar expressions. They knew too.

Now was as good a time as any to come clean too. I tell them what I feared to say from the start. “Hi, I’m Nat. I was originally a man, and I’m also afraid of fire.” The last thing, although true, sounded dumb after I had so cheerfully and eagerly lit the bonfire.

“Yeah we knew.” Answers Mic.

“Wha-?” I try to get out.

“None of your mannerisms made sense for a girl.” Crack chimes in, ever the philosopher.

“Ha, whatever.” I chuckle, the chuckle becoming a full bout of laughter. Soon everyone else joins.

With all forgiven, the rest of the night is a merry mess. We sing, dance, and drink the night away. Sometime after midnight, the fire dies down to a smolder and all four of us stumble back up to the house all drunk off our asses. I had drank twice as much as all three ponies to feel a similar buzz. Somehow we make it to a bedroom, no idea whose, and collapse asleep. At some point before morning the dogs joined us on the floor.

Author's Note:

Going Home is a 1992 album by Elvin Jones.

Half of this chapter lay unfinished since last year, got a burst of inspiration and knocked out the rest a while ago. Terribly sorry for the long inactivity, but fear not - I am fully determined to finish this story. Even if I only publish two chapters a year lol.

Proofread by Greenhorne.

Comments

[Magnus_Flare]

And that right here is why i don't remove stories from tracked bookshelf you never know when they may arise from the graveyard of abandoned and dead-for-more-than-a-year

[Lightwavers]

Nice, consistency beats quality nine times out of ten. It’s interesting that Greenhorne’s been proofreading this, I’ve found Trust Once Lost a pretty cool story. Are cross promotions still a thing? Might be an option if you’d like more eyeballs.

[VilkaTheWolf]

10790648
Greenhorne's only helped out on this one chapter. No cross-promotion or anything, he did it because we're friends and I asked :)

[Crystonian]

I picked this up yesterday and just caught up, I'm really enjoying it. Keep it up!

[Rawislon03]

As an Australian I’ve gotta love the representation of our myriad cultural rituals. There is of course an expectation of there being a spare beer fridge in the shed.

[VilkaTheWolf]

10793357
Yes! The beer fridge, everyone has one! Although after a year in the story, its probably gone bad too lol.

[Rawislon03]

10793361
Damn, though it looks like it can easily function as a projectile

[Arcticlizard52]

Really enjoying this so far, please come back