I trotted quietly towards Sweet Apple Acres, my thoughts still sprinting and flipping as recent events seemed to elude me. I softly jostled my head, making sure my tiara was where it belonged. Satisfied that it hadn't vanished again, I continued down the dirt path.
~Ehehehmmmguahaha~
An icy chill suddenly traveled up my backside and all the way to the tip of my nose. Wh-what the!? I took several short breaths, attempting to calm my nerves. I tried my best to ignore the crown strewn on my mane, and instead brought up my mental checklist, hoping it would help me sort out what had happened back in town...only to find it was now covered with ink.
~Ehehehehehehehe~
“Oh cmon!!!” I yelled out, my eyes darting around everywhere, even though I knew there was nopony or nothing around me. “You-uh-Annoying disembodied voice in my head!! Are you serious!? ” I cried out, not caring at how stupid I sounded.
Without warning, my front hooves spasmed uncontrollably, causing me crash into ground with a thud. "Ow!"
~BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ~Funnnnn~ I want do that again!!~
"H-Hey, what are you doi-" I tried to ask, shakingly raising myself from the ground, but again, my legs jerked and I slammed headfirst into ground.
~GWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!~
“Listen… whatever you are,” I huffed, pushing myself up. I gritted my teeth, as the thing’s gleeful cackles continued to mock me. “Stop now. Before I force you out.” The voice’s cackling grew louder. “I-I’ll tell Twilight on you.” I’d never felt so childish in my life, but combined with what had happened back in town and everything else that had happened, I couldn't help it.
~Oh poor itty bitty pony~ Tell Twilight ~ She’ll definitely believe youuuuuuuu… guahahah~ Oh!! And I know the perfect little song~
The voice suddenly started singing, and it didn't take me long to recognize the song. I furiously shook my head as the voice went on singing "They're coming to take me away", hoping that maybe that simple action would make him be quiet, but it didn't seem to do anything but give me a headache.
Sighing, I put one hoof in front of the other as I resumed my walk, doing my best to ignore the singing in my head. It wasn't long before I could finally see the growing form of the Apple Family’s barn, and their home just a ways past it. Row after row of Apples trees surrounded both of them, and just looking at it made my mind race with images of all sorts of apple flavored treats, and the thought of meeting the Apples themselves.
If I hadn't been stuck inside DT's body, it would have been a brony dream come true. But even stuck inside her, I was going to get to work alongside the apples. I picked up the pace as a small smile formed on my face, the sound of the voice's singing fading into the back of my mind as thoughts of being next to some of my favorite ponies drowned it out, and my earlier thoughts.
But, just when I thought I could completely ignore the singing in my head, the voice decided to change songs.
~I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, coconuts, here they all are standing in a row!!~
Sweet Celestia, someone save me!!!
-*-
“Ya think she’s gonna show up big brother?”
Big Macintosh looked up into the air for a moment, chewing on a piece of straw as he took a moment to consider young Apple Bloom’s question. When he looked back down, he nodded his head in reply as he let out his trademark “Eeyup.”
“Hah, and I’m telling you that she’ll find some way to weasel out of it. That kid’s a no good spoiled brat, just as bad as some of them Canterlot ponies.” AJ replied as she stood nearby, an eye on the path that lead out to Ponyville.
“I wouldn’t say she’s that bad. I met some pretty snobby ponies up there when we went to see the Hearth Warmings Eve pageant. She’s still pretty bad though.” Apple Bloom commented, getting a nod from Big Macintosh and a slightly annoyed look from AJ.
“That’s only on account of the fact that she lives here in Ponyville. Only other richy rich ponies in town is the Spoon family, and they’re decent at least.” AJ retorted, shifting her attention back to the road.
The three of them were standing at the gate to Sweet Apple Acre’s and waiting for the arrival of the work-hand they’d been promised by Filthy Rich; His daughter, the spoiled, stuck up, better than thou brat that had the misfortune of living in the same town as them. AJ still wasn’t happy about it, as she had flat out told Filthy Rich she would rather work with a Diamond Dog then with his little daughter. After all, the latest incident wasn’t the first time the kid had slighted the Apple Family.
Granny Smith however, would have none of it, and had overridden her wishes and accepted Filthy’s offer, though why Granny thought this would do anything for the kid was beyond her. AJ had been preparing herself all morning to deal with complaints about dirtied hooves and how the work they did was ‘below her’.
In other words, AJ was preparing herself for one long and frustrating day.
“Y’all should make good on Grannys advice sis. Just take anything the kid says with a grain of salt.” Big Macintosh said, a small smile gracing his muzzle as he added “And ya might wanna start counting those bits.”
“What are you-” AJ tried to say, but Big Macintosh simply raised a hoof and pointed at the road, where the distant form of a small pink filly with purple and white hair was approaching. AJ’s mouth fell open as Big Mac chuckled and looked up at the sun above them.
“And what do ya know, she’s early too.” He added, which combined with AJ’s slackjaw expression made Apple Bloom fall into a fit of giggles. That was enough to get AJ’s attention, but the glare she gave her younger sister only caused the giggling to transform into full out laughter, which did little to improve AJ’s mood.
AJ started grumbling to herself, watching the approaching form of Diamond Tiara with undisguised annoyance. As the kid drew closer, she could see a look of annoyance on the filly’s own face, which oddly enough made AJ feel better. At least I’m not the only one that doesn’t find this funny, she thought to herself.
“Well, I have to say I’m surprised ya’ll showed up. I figured ya would have tried to weasel your way outta some old fashioned hard work.” AJ called out to the little filly as she got within ear shot. Diamond Tiara however, didn’t seem to hear her, still walking towards them. In fact, she walked right past them and AJ thought she heard a strange muttering coming from her as she passed by.
AJ looked at Big Mac and Apple Bloom, both of whom shrugged, before turning and asking “Uhm…did you hear me Diamond Tiara? Miss Tiara?” Sighing, AJ raised her voice and shouted “Equestria to Diamond Tiara!”
“Huh?” She asked, her head suddenly whipping around to look at them in confusion, as if she had just realized where she was. Unfortunately, she was still moving forward when she did so, so it was no surprise when she crashed into fence. With a yelp, she jumped away from the fence, giving it a glare worthy of Fluttershy’s famous stare before turning around and walking back over to them, a hoof rubbing her muzzle as she did so.
Glancing at Apple Bloom and Big Mac, both of whom looked just as confused as she was, AJ asked “Um… Are ya’ll alright?”
“Just peachy, it’s not like the universe is out to get me or something.” Diamond Tiara muttered, shaking her head briefly as she stopped in front of them. Her face looked rather blank, without a trace of annoyance or any emotion. The only noticeable thing was a small tick at the edge of her right eye. She closed her eyes briefly, taking in a deep breath before saying “Well, I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”
“Okay then, if you’re ready to get to work, I guess we can get started now. No point in wasting time dilly-dallying. You’ll be working with Apple Bloom, since you’re not big enough to be helping us with any of the other farm work.”
AJ expected some sort of comment, or at the very least, a roll of the eyes, but Diamond Tiara simply shrugged her shoulders and said “Alright,” before turning to Apple Bloom and saying “Let’s get this over with.”
Apple Bloom smiled and said “Sure thing, just follow me!” before bouncing off in the direction of the barn. Diamond Tiara just sighed and followed at a fast but resigned pace. AJ waited until they were out of sight and earshot before giving her smiling brother a playful nudge.
“You’ll get your bits mister, but if there are any problems with her, I’m letting you handle her.”
Big Mac’s smile vanished, replaced by a look of discomfort at the prospect. AJ just laughed, leaving Big Mac there as she turned and headed off for the south field, ready to get back to doing what she loved most.
-*-
Following Apple Bloom, I kept my face more or less expressionless as I went back to thinking, now blissfully free of the voice’s attempts to annoy me. Since I had bumped into the fence, it had instead been doing its best not to send itself into hysterics, and so all I had to worry about was the occasional chuckle interrupting my thoughts.
What was I thinking about? Many things, mysterious things, things that had been asked since the dawn of time, the very questions that bothered both mankind and ponykind… okay no, I was just thinking about how to scratch the middle of my back without hurting myself. But that wasn’t the only thing I was thinking of, oh no.
Ya see, with the distraction of the singing gone, and my brief interaction with AJ past, I was thinking back to my decision to try my best to behave as Diamond Tiara would. Could I actually pull it off? Possibly, I mean I could be an asshole or a jerk at times, though it was usually reserved only for when someone ticked me off or someone else was acting like a jerk. I might have even been able to pull it off if I didn’t care about hurting other peoples feelings.
But I wasn’t a mean person at heart, and the idea of saying anything hurtful to anypony (unless they actually were deserving of it) here in Equestria was bothered me greatly. But what else could I really do? I didn’t want to be found out, not until I knew whether or not there was even a way to get home. Who knew what would happen if they found out?
Well, they could just believe you and try to get you home, but that’d be too nice of the universe wouldn’t it.
The voice was correct. Despite this being Equestria, I had sincere doubts how anyone finding out (and even if they believed me) that I was a human stuck inside Diamond Tiara could necessarily end well.
“Hey, are ya okay Diamond Tiara?”
“Hmm?” I asked, glancing to Apple Bloom to see her looking at me curiously. I looked around and noticed that we were no longer outside, but in the Apple Family’s barn. Realizing how deep in thought I must have been, I frowned and replied “Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. What did you just say?”
“I said we gotta feed the animals first, then we have to check around the barn for any loose boards or anything else that needs repaired. After that, we head outside and water and check the vegetables.” Apple Bloom repeated, and I nodded to assure her I’d heard, and she added “Well then come over here so I can show ya what we got to do.”
We spent the next few minutes talking back and forth, Apple Bloom explaining what we had to give to each of the animals. Rather than being bored out of my mind as she expected me to be, I paid complete and utter attention so as to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I hadn’t thought about it at the time, but in hindsight, I should have known that if anything was going to make anyone think something was up, it was going to be my work ethic.
Once she finished explaining everything to me, I got right to work. I didn’t work more than I needed to, and I went at a pace that was, while a tad slower than that of Apple Blooms, wasn’t me half-assing it. Several times I noticed that Apple Bloom was watching me, but I was too focused on getting the job done to think much of it. She was probably amazed that I was even bothering to do the job properly, let alone the fact that I wasn’t complaining. Heh, the irony of it was that at least at home, I was lazy as could be. Doing an actual job though…
I poured out the last bucket of food and sighed, glad to have finished one thing on the list of things to do. I took the bucket and put it back where Apple Bloom had told me it went, then turned around to find her looking at me with the most bewildered (and somewhat adorkable) face ever. A bit surprised to see her so close to me, I gave her a confused look as I asked “Is there a reason you’re in my personal space?”
Apple Bloom tilted her head one way and another, the bewilderment only seeming to grow as she looked at me. I was starting to wonder what on earth…err, Equestria she was doing, when she finally asked “Why are you being so cooperative?”
My face went blank at that, and I responded by asking “What are you talking about?”
She rolled her eyes at me when I asked this, and she asked “Oh come on Diamond Tiara, you’re the most stuck-up pony in town, and I’ve never seen you willing to any hard work of any kind. Your dad had to push ya, literally, into helping with the Zap Apple Jam, and ya complained the entire time. Yet ya just helped me feed all the animals here in the barn without so much as a peep, and you were actually keeping up with me the entire time!”
Oh, so she was wondering why I hadn’t been moaning and groaning or dragging my hooves along. Thankfully, I had already thought of an answer to such a question earlier. Deciding now might not be a bad time to try to get into DT’s attitude, I stood up tall and, in an annoyed tone, replied,
“Here, let me answer that by asking you something. Has complaining about the work you’ve had to do ever got it done faster?” Apple Bloom shook her head, to which I then asked “And has dragging your hooves and not putting in any effort ever gotten you anywhere?”Again she shook her head, though this time the annoyance evident in her expression had faded.
“Well, there you go. Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I want to, because I really don’t. I have more important things I could be doing right now,” Which was actually true, but not what she probably thought I meant, “but I have to be here and I have to help, so complaining about it or not working hard isn’t going to get it done any faster. Besides, if I didn’t at least put some effort in, daddy would find out and I’d be in more trouble than I already am. So excuuusssee me if I’m trying to be smart about this.”
Apple Bloom seemed to mull over this, and for the briefest moment I thought that maybe I had made too much sense. Sure, I wasn’t Pinkie Pie, but from Apple Blooms point of view Diamond Tiara was probably a pony she never expected to hear anything truly sensible or intelligent coming from her…er, my, mouth. But she shrugged her shoulders and muttered “Huh, I guess I didn’t think you’d think about it like that. I guess me and AJ were both a bit wrong.”
I smirked, the thought of how agitated this deal with Filthy Rich must have made her. I raised my head a bit, walking past her and towards the door as I said “I may be many things, but an idiot is not one of them. Now, what’s next?”
-*-
Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara tackled one chore after another. Normally, it would have taken Apple Bloom three or four hours just to get most of them done, but with Diamond Tiara’s help work was going by in a flash. Apple Bloom still couldn’t believe how hard Diamond was working.
Oh sure, she wasn’t working as fast as she was, but she wouldn’t have expected her to be able to on her first day of hard labor anyways. The fact that she was keeping up though was astounding.
And that wasn’t all. When they started checking for any repairs the barn needed, and when they had started pulling some of the vegetables that were dying from the garden, Diamond Tiara had asked questions on how to do the chores the right way, making sure she understood exactly what Apple Bloom was telling her.
Maybe she’s not always a jerkfaced filly… Apple Bloom thought to herself as she finished explaining the next chore on their list, repainting one of the storage sheds near the house. She told Diamond Tiara to wait near the shed while she fetched the paint, figuring it best to do that herself lest Diamond get lost trying to find it. It also gave her a chance to think about how Diamond was acting. This didn’t seem like how Diamond normally acted around her, but then again, she didn’t actually know Diamond Tiara all that well, although the reason would be fairly obvious to most ponies.
But then again, I only ever really see her at school. And she does have other friends besides Silver Spoon…Apple Bloom considered the possibility that maybe Diamond Tiara only acted the way she did when others were around, but that made no sense when she remembered how Diamond Tiara had acted when she and her father came by during the Zap Apple Jam harvest.
I guess I should just believe what she said earlier…she’s just trying to get this over with as fast as possible. Nopony likes getting punished for something after all, Apple Bloom thought to herself as she reached the tool shed where they had all the tools. And besides, as Twilight had once told her, “We should always assume the best in somepony, never the worst." And I guess even if it is Diamond Tiara, I shouldn't expect the worst from her without proof.
With this thought in mind, and actually feeling a bit better now that she wasn’t thinking bad of somepony, she grabbed the stuff they needed and then headed out of the shed, nearly bumping into her big sister in the process.
“Woah there gal, no need to run me over now, I know how much you don’t like doing those chores.” AJ said as she back-pedaled to avoid running over the burdened filly. Apple Bloom smiled at AJ and replied,
“Sorry big sis, it’s just that thanks to Diamond Tiara’s help, all my chores are a lot easier than they normally are.”
AJ looked at her oddly when she said that, and an eyebrow quirked up as she asked “You mean the brats actually working with ya?”
Apple Bloom smiled and replied, “Yup! She’s not as fast as me, but she’s not doing a bad job. And best part is she hasn’t really complained at all!”
The look of surprise on AJ’s face almost sent Apple Bloom into a fit of giggles, but she composed herself enough to ask “Are ya sure you’re talking about the same Diamond Tiara here? She hasn’t complained, hasn’t dragged her hooves in the dirt while working?” When Apple Bloom shook her head to both of these, AJ muttered “Something’s gotta be up here…”
Apple Bloom didn’t exactly like what her big sister was implying when she said that, so she said “AJ, ah know that you’re still mad at her for what she pushed me and my friends into doing, but she’s just trying to get this whole punishment thing over with as fast as she can. She doesn’t like it anymore than you do.”
AJ’s expression softened, and after a moment she dragged Apple Bloom into a hug as she ruffled her mane. “You know Apple Bloom, I think your right, and that’s a very grown up thing to say, even if it’s defending that brat.”
Apple Bloom gave her sister an awkward smile as she said “Actually, I got that from Diamond Tiara.” When she saw the incredulous look on her sister’s face, she explained how she had been suspicious earlier, but then after thinking over what Diamond Tiara had said, had decided that she was telling the truth, much as it amazed her.
AJ looked thoughtful for a moment, and as Apple Bloom tried to figure out what her big sis was thinking, she asked, “Where is Diamond anyways?”
“Oh, she’s waiting next to that shed you said needed a new paintjob. I didn’t want to have her get lost trying to find all the stuff we’d need, so I told her to stay near the shed. Why’d ya ask?” Apple Bloom replied, to which AJ smiled and said
“I just want to check up on our worker for the day is all. Nothing to worry your head about Apple Bloom.”
Apple Bloom nodded and smiled, but she sighed as her sister started ahead of her. There was no way this could end well. She shook her head and galloped after her sister, dropping to a trot as she caught up with her. They soon saw the shed in question, as well as Diamond Tiara, who was patiently sitting nearby, her eyes on the semi-clear skies above them and a smile on her face. It wasn’t the smile that normally graced her face, the one that said “I think I’m totally better than you”, but instead a sincere, calm smile. Apple Bloom couldn’t help but feel a smile of her own forming on her face as they neared, it was just infectous. Glancing at AJ however, she didn’t see the same happening to her.
Deciding it was best that she do something to keep things from heating up, seeing as neither of them were really happy about the situation, Apple Bloom spoke up “Hey Diamond, I’m back with the paint!”
Diamond Tiara glanced back down, the smile thinning a bit as she did so, though it vanished and was replaced by a thin line when she saw AJ. Her eye twitched for a moment, and for a split second Apple Bloom could have sworn Diamond’s eyes changed color, but it happened so fast that she took it to be a figment of her imagination.
“Hey Apple Bloom, Applejack.” She said, remaining where she was until they reached her. Apple Bloom started taking the paint and brushes next to the shed. “So, what color are we using?”
“Bright Green, since this shed is for the Green Delicious apples.” She said, looking up at the weathered shed, its previous paint job having faded to look more akin to the color of olives.
“Okay. Is Applejack helping?”
AJ shook her head. “Nope, I’m just here to see how you’re getting along with the work.”
Diamond Tiara shrugged before grabbing a paint brush and a paint can and getting to work, with Apple Bloom doing the same a second later. They took opposite sides of the shed, with AJ watching off to the side as they worked. Apple Bloom wasn’t lying when she said that Diamond was working hard to get the job done. She certainly wasn’t as fast as Apple Bloom, but for somepony who was doing hard work for the first time, she wasn’t bad.
Just as they were getting finished, they heard a ringing sound come out from the direction of the house. Apple Bloom put her brush down and let out a whistle as she said “Boy, I didn’t know time had gone by so fast. I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving!”
Diamond Tiara set her brush down carefully before looking at her side, then Apple Bloom’s. Apple Bloom’s side was nearly finished, while her own was about two thirds of the way done. She looked at Apple Bloom in confusion as she asked “Shouldn’t we finish painting the shed first?”
“Nah, you two have worked hard enough.” AJ said as she walked over to them, a thin smile on her face. “I hate to admit it, but you really are working hard. You’re not as fast as Apple Bloom is, but then again, she wasn’t all that fast when she started doing these sorts of chores either. I have to thank you for being willing to help us out, rather than dragging your hooves through the mud.”
Diamond Tiara scoffed, an eye twitching as she said “I don’t need your thanks, because I’m not doing it for you. I’m only doing it so I don’t have to do it again. If I dragged my hooves, you would tell daddy, and then I’d probably have to come back and do it all over again.”
AJ frowned at this, and she said “Hey, no reason to be like that. I may not like what you did, but at least I’m trying to be polite.”
Apple Bloom looked at Diamond Tiara, expecting some sort of retort to be coming forth from her. Her eye’s twitched again, and then she sighed and said “Fine, you’re welcome, now let’s go eat. The faster we eat, the sooner I can get back to work and the sooner I can be done with this.”
Diamond Tiara turned and made her way off in the direction of the Apple Family’s home, leaving Apple Bloom and AJ watching her leave, both with confused expressions on their face’s.
-*-
I can’t do it. I can’t keep it up! I haven’t even been Diamond Tiara for a day and I’m already cracking!
In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, back when AJ told me thank you, and said that I was actually doing a good job, my first instinct was to say you’re welcome, no problem, happy to help, and of course to let out a squee worthy of Fluttershy (okay, the last parts questionable). But instead, I went with trying to keep up my act of acting like Diamond Tiara would, and taking AJ’s thanks didn’t seem like something she would do.
Yeah, I know, technically Diamond Tiara working hard at all is out of character for her, but I can’t help it! I may be a lazy ass at home, but at my actual workplace I have a better work ethic than half the other employees! I inherited my dad’s laziness at home and my mom and grandma’s work ethic! I’m just glad she didn’t say I was slow or doing a bad job. Any pretense at trying to be Diamond Tiara would have gone out the window right then and there if she had. Never tell me I’m doing a bad job or not working fast enough, unless you want to see me mad as heck.
*Sigh* Anywho, as I made my way back to the Apple Family’s home, I thought about what I had said to AJ, and about some of what I said to Apple Bloom back in the barn. I felt terrible for telling Apple Bloom that I didn’t want to help, which…well…it wasn’t completely a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. I would have loved to have been helping the Apple Family with their farm work, but not as Diamond Tiara.
And what I said to AJ? My chest hurt, as it usually did whenever I got angry at someone or said something hurtful to someone who didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and none of the Apples deserved to be treated how Diamond Tiara would treat them, or had treated them.
I can’t do it…I just can’t. As both a brony, and… well, me, I cannot keep this up. But what else can I do?
Well, there was one way, but I wasn’t sure if it would work.
Back on Earth, I was a follower of the one rule they teach in school, the one rule that was very important to learn. The Golden Rule, the one that states “Treat others as you wish to be treated.”
I had learned that rule, and had taken it to heart, and maybe a bit farther than that. Those who treated me nicely, I was as pleasant as could be with, nicer than the other person even, which made them feel good and me feel all warm and fuzzy (yay fuzzy feelings!) Those who left me alone, I left them to their own devices, interacting with them only if interacted with. And those who were jerks and assholes to me? Well, I was one in kind to them.
What does this have to do in this situation? Patient, I’m getting there. The point is, I could act like myself, following the Golden Rule, and try to do it in a fashion that Diamond Tiara would do. I could be nice to others, but I could still have the attitude of smug superiority. I could definitively do that. And anyone who was rude or mean to me, well, I wouldn’t have to act at all. And that would let me leave everyone else alone, leaving me feeling better overall, and more importantly, keeping my brony self in check.
Seriously, I came really really close to losing my control back there. I’ve had to put the brony inside of me in a cement bunker now, as the chains weren’t working.
But there was the slight possibility, in my paranoid mind of mine, that this could lead me to getting found out. But on the other hand…
Considering how close I just came to acting like a hyper-crazy fanboy in front of AJ, imagine what might happen if I continue trying to be just like Diamond Tiara? Could I really truly act like her, be a jerk to ponies that I loved, respected, and admired, and still call myself a brony? Could I really be hurtful to those who helped to create a fandom that re-inspired some of my faith in humanity?
A rumbling sound from my stomach made me smile sheepishly, reminding me that there was a bit more pressing of a matter to deal with. Seeing that I had somehow managed to reach to front door to the Apple Family home, without crashing into anything thank the gods, I decided to put the question aside for a moment.
After all, to paraphrase a certain lavender unicorn, it’s better to make an important decision on a full stomach. With this in mind, I pushed the door open and stepped inside.
“Oh howdy there little missy! Are ya working hard or hardly working eheh?” I looked towards to sound of the voice and saw Granny Smith standing in a doorway leading into what I presumed was a kitchen. She was smiling at me in a way that reminded me of my late great-grandmother, which only served to reinforce the similarities she already shared with her, and for a brief moment I felt a pang of sadness flow through me before I managed to (somewhat) stifle it down inside me. I must not have down it fast enough, as Granny’s smile thinned a bit. “Are you okay there little miss?”
“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” I replied, which was true. Work was nothing new to my mind, but it was new to Diamond Tiara’s body. If Diamond Tiara had acutally been doing it, she probably would have been ready to call it a day. Through the force of my will, I was just wishing for a short nap.
Granny seemed to gaze at me for a moment more, and I wondered if she was buying what I’d said. Her smile returned to its former state though as she said “Well why don’t ya come on in here then and sit yourself down and have some good ol apple fritters, fresh out of the oven.
I’d prefer bourbon chicken with a side of rice noodles, I thought to myself as I put a weak smile on my face and nodded. The idea of eating apple fritters, or anything sweet, for lunch, was insane to me. The fact that my sweet tooth had dulled and I was no longer a fan of sweets didn’t help much. But I was stuck in Diamond Tiara, so unless I found out that the ponies were actually full out omnivores…
Stepping into the kitchen, I discovered it was bigger than what had been shown in Family Appreciation Day, having more counter space and cabinets, and a longer table dominating the center of the room. Otherwise though, it looked the same as it had on TV. Sitting in the middle of the table was a platter full of fritters, with a pitcher of what I could only assume was apple juice next to it.
“Help yourself to as much as you want, we’ve got plenty for everyone.” Granny said, grabbing a plate for herself and putting several fritters on it before taking a seat at one end of the table. Screaming on the inside, I grabbed myself two fritters and a glass of juice and sat down at the opposite end, trying my best to not look unexcited about the fare.
As I dug in, discovering that they actually weren’t as sweet as I’d imagined them to be, the rest of the Apple Family stepped in, lead by Big Mac and followed by Apple Bloom and AJ. They chit chatted with Granny Smith and each other as they grabbed their own plates, each of them sitting next to each other at their end of the table, leaving me to myself at the other end. I listened to their conversation with a third of an ear as I slowly ate my food, using the time to rest and think about my situation, and what I had considered a very short while ago.
The meal went by rather quickly, for me at least, as I was full enough after the two fritters and three glasses of juice I’d had, but the Apples took a bit longer to finish their meals. Not knowing whether or not I could go back to work after finishing, and figuring they’d probably find it odd that I’d be so eager to get back to work, I just sat there and stared at the wall. Having already made a decision on my earlier thoughts, I instead wondered to myself what was going on back home, or more specifically, to my body.
“Thanks for lunch Granny, those were delicious!” I lifted my head up when I heard Apple Bloom say that, and I slipped out of my chair as she gave Granny a hug and a smile. Granny simply ruffled Apple Blooms mane as she replied in kind.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it sweetie, I always love getting a chance to make some fine grub for the family. And what about you Miss Tiara, did you enjoy it?” She asked, turning her smiling face towards me, her eyes gazing at me expectantly.
This would be the moment of truth for me. I could continue trying (and possibly failing) to try to be like Diamond Tiara, or I could choose to be myself, with the addition of some of Diamond Tiara’s attitude. I walked towards Granny Smith, looking up at her kind, caring face, and I could feel it in my heart.
I can’t be mean to these ponies. I just can’t.
I looked down for a moment, and I could feel the tension in the air mounting. I had noticed that the other three Apples were watching me carefully; Apple Bloom with a look of worry, AJ seeming to glare daggers at me, daring me to say something mean, and Big Mac looking like he normally did, stoic as always.
Preparing myself for whatever their reactions would be, I looked back up at Granny Smith, a smile on my face as I said “They were great Miss Smith, best apple fritters I’ve ever had.” This was actually true, as I’d never actually eaten an apple fritter, to my recollection anyways. I dipped my head slightly and added “Thank you for letting me have some.”
Granny Smith’s smile widened, and I heard a loud thump sound coming from the direction of AJ, a quick glance telling me that her jaw had dropped and hit the table. I would have laughed at the scene if Granny didn’t take that moment to ruffle my mane, jostling the tiara as she said “Why thank ye kindly little missy, it’s always nice to know I still haven’t lost my touch.”
“Hey, watch the tiara, I already lost it once today.” I said, a yelp escaping me as it tried to fall off my head, but Granny nabbed it before it could fall further than my nose and placed it back on my head. “Thanks.” I said, and she nodded her head at me as I turned my gaze towards Apple Bloom, whose eyes were wide and gazing at me in shock.
Smirking, I trotted towards her and said “Well, it looks like your done eating too. What say we go finish painting that stupid shed, and those other chores, so I can get out of here and you can do…whatever it is you do in your free time.” I waved a hoof in the air vaguely as I said the last bit, figuring DT wouldn’t know much about the activities of the CMC.
“Uhm, okay sure thing Diamond Tiara.” Apple Bloom said, and I just chuckled as I walked past her and out of the room, making my way back outside.
As I stepped outside, I took in a deep breath of fresh air and sighed. I had been doing what I often did when I was overwhelmed by something, over-thinking and over-worrying about the situation and making my day otherwise unpleasant. With that simple decision made, I now realized that I was focusing far too much on the negatives, and not on the positives. This was the chance of a lifetime for me, or even any brony.
I need to find a way home, and keep myself from getting stuck here, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make the best of this once in a lifetime opportunity. I need to do what I’ve always done, and make the best of what I have, and face everything one thing at a time. And right now, that shed needs to be painted!
With that thought, I cantered off in the direction of the shed, a smile on my face and a bounce in my step. I didn’t know what lay ahead of me, but I think I was more prepared for it now than I was when I left Diamonds home, and I looked forward to facing head on whatever else the day threw at me.
And so, another chapter of a Jewel of a Problem comes to an end. Will Cain’s new found optimism and plans lead him back to his strange world, or could it spell doom for any hope of ever returning to Earth? Well, I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait, and see, guahahahahah!
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get voices out of one’s head? I’d really appreciate it. Please send instructions by divining or by transdimensional mail. The Doctor will happily except muffins as payment.
This chapter was a doozy, both in size and its annoying habit for writers block/fatigue to pop they're ugly heads up. Now, I don't know if this chapter is good or not, but I am at least satisfied with it, so I'll leave it at that for now.
Now, where's my grammar nazi pony? I look forward to his thorough dissecting of this chapter.
A piece of advice that pertains to the decision I made in this fic. If your going to write a fic like this, you should take a moment to consider one very important question. Can you (or whomever your dropping into somepony) actually pull of their character? Can you act like them sufficiently enough to perhaps be able to make others think nothing is wrong?
If the answer is no, don't let that stop you. First off, having yourself/character try and act like someone they aren't adds some struggle to the story, as the character tries to keep hidden that all is not as it seems. Secondly, you can always decide to do what I did, which was decide to just be yourself, with just an attitude change rather than trying to be a completely different person/pony. Thirdly, it can be create some humor as the other characters, friends family and foes, try to figure out why your acting so different, as well as imply reacting to what they're doing.
Now, the reason this chapter took so long is because I asked myself this very question, and was forced to ask myself if I could actually pull something like this off. When I got through thinking about it, I realized I couldn't. I'm just too nice for my own good. Sure, I have a temper problem, can be very stubborn, and highly opinionated, but as much as I laugh evilly and manically at grim-dark fics and some tragedy fics (SUFFER YOU PONIES!! YOUR DESPAIR FUELS ME!! ) I am at heart not an actual bad person. The fact that I have certain aspects of myself that I would have trouble repressing thanks to my being high functioning autism doesn't help.
Thus, after answering the question, I had to ask myself if I wanted to try and continue going down the previous path, and enjoy the suffering of putting myself through that, I decided I would gain more amusement in writing this by having the Ponies of Ponyville reacting to this changed Diamond Tiara.
Now, as always, if you see anything wrong, don't hesitate to point it out, and if you have any suggestions, feel free to drop them in the comments box!
ah iam waithing for the school
I have similar attitudes towards working. I may not be the best at what you give me to do, but I'll try harder than anyone once I get a clue as to how.
This is hilarious in many ways... AND I LIKE IT! It's completely what i would never want to happen to me but at the same time i can't wait to see how he will handle everything
This was a joy to read. Faved and thumbs up. I look forward for the next chapter.
Good chapter. I do have an issue with Cain's adherence to what he thinks is the golden rule, however. What he is doing is pretty much going by the motto "do unto uthers as they do unto me". That's definitely NOT the golden rule, it's more of an eye for an eye philosophy. Golden rule would have you treating everyone well, whether or not they treared you well. Treat others as you want them to treat you.
That being said, it's certainly believable for him to act that way. It's not easy to be kind to that mean ole jerkface who has been giving you grief all day.
997942
That motto is actually probably more what I do do, since I do believe in the eye for an eye philosophy to an extent. Its the golden rule in the sense that I do not attempt to treat others badly. Those I "leave alone" are people I treat politely and cordially when I interact with them, and if they do the same I leave it at that. If someone decides to meet my politeness with jerkassery, I'm tossing politeness out the window. Those who go a step farther and be more than polite but are genuinely nice and kind I will do the same.
I suppose you could say its a combination of the two. I treat everyone politely until they give me reason to be nicer or become hostile.
I personally enjoy seeing the other ponies reaction to Diamond Tiara being so nice.
I have to agree, all the ponies reacting to a nice Diamond Tiara is entertaining. To bad all that character development is wasted on someone else and not the actual filly.
You know at the end of this you could completely ruin the changeling invasion by exposing the queen. Wouldn't that make for good fun seeing her shocked look when she is prematurely compromised.
Wonderful chapter~!
I enjoyed seeing (not reading...seeing) AppleBloom and Applejack's reactions. Also, "Thank You" for lessening the whole Cain talking to himself thing. Reading about Diamond Tiara's expression as she gazed to the sky, or when she walked headfirst into a fence, or having her mane ruffled up by Granny Smith... To me those were the true jewels of this story.
And whoooooo, a long chapter too.
Thank you for the great chapter...
... Too bad the paragraphs prior to Applejack and BigMac were sorta not-good.
PS
Here is one silly mistake.
"I was getting ready to go into the library, than I’m having a fit about not having DT’s dinky tiara!"
That should be... "then"
Must correct GRAMMAHHR~!!!!
"A piece of advice that pertains to the decision I made in this fic. If your going to write a fic like this, you should take a moment to consider one very important question. Can you (or whomever your dropping into somepony) actually pull of their character? Can you act like them sufficiently enough to perhaps be able to make others think nothing is wrong?"
your -> you're = you are
of -> off
And...oh my... I never thought I'd hear those words coming from... erghh... you? Pertains. Whomever. Sufficiently. Ahhh, never mind then, ahahahahaha... I'm ever so sorry, at least you didn't use big words like Egalitarian or Muffi-
Why doesn't this have more views???
Also, I think in the song 'I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts', the word 'coconuts' isn't repeated, is it?
Aside from that, I'd say the grammar is okay; I didn't notice anything wrong.
Best typo ever: I looked around and noticed that we were no longer outside, but in the Apple Family’s bar.
Sounds like a good idea for a one-shot fic.
Great story this is the second Stuck in your head fic I'v read and the genre is growing on me...
Wow... I can't wait to see someone attempt this kind of story as a crossover fic, I could imagine it now. Kratos from god of war stuck in Fluttershys head ...oh the possible Lols.
In your FACE Applejack!
I don't care how mean and intolerable DT can be, she is still one adorable pony.
"no longer outside, but in the Apple Family’s bar"
When I saw this typo, a scene of the two fillies getting blitzed and hi-jinks ensuing flashed in my mind.
998189
I have plans for the changeling invasion, and I will be having an effect on them, but probably not what your expecting. And that is all I have to say on the matter.
998262
And here the free online grammar editor I was using said it should be than. Oh well, I have it and grammar things to fix in the two previous chapters as well, which will probably be done tomorrow.
If you have any suggestions for making the paragraph before Big Mac and AJ better, I'll see what I can do, though I should remind myself I can't please everyone. But yeah, I didn't want this chapter to be nothing but me thinking and responding to the ponies, and I actually like this jumping back and forth between 1st and 3rd person perspective. I'll also probably try to cut back on the talking to himself (or do you mean thinking to himself? some of his talking to himself is responding to a voice in his head) more in the next chapters, but I can't guarantee anything.
998334
I'm less worried about that, but that's because its in my authors comment. And don't be dissing muffins
998419
Perhaps.
998462
It was in the last slot in the feature box for about three minutes before it got rotated out.
I always thought it was repeated, but I could be wrong. I don't know if the voice in my head cares though, it seems more content to pester and annoy me. I'm wondering if anyone's got any ideas on who the heck the voice is.
998492
That is an easy typo to hunt down and find. I shall fix it right now.
998674
That seems to be one of the preferred methods of waking up in Equestria. That or falling from the sky. Personally, I'd love to see one where someone enters Equestria reverse-Narnia style. (eg. walking in a forest, then finding party supplies, than opening a door to find yourself in Pinkie Pies room)
Mehh, I honestly do not understand why that first section is there, but sureeeeeee. It's your story.
You asked for criticism, but I don't wanna sound repetitive. Here then. I'll quickly retype the first section. Might as well, since I have the time.
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I trotted quietly towards Sweet Apple Acres, my thoughts still sprinting and flipping as recent events seemed to elude me. I softly jostled my head, making sure my tiara was where it belonged.
An icy chill traveled up my backside.
Wh-what!? I took several short breaths, attempting to calm my nerves. I tried my best to ignore the crown strewn on my mane, and instead brought up my mental checklist-
-that was now covered with illegible ink.
~Ehehehe~hehehehe
“Oh cmon!!!” I yelled. Luckily nopony was nearby. “You-uh-Annoying disembodied voice in my head!! Are you serious!? ” I couldn’t have cared less at how stupid I sounded.
Suddenly my front hooves spasm uncontrollably, causing me crash into ground.
~BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ~Funnnnn~ I want do that again!!~
I again, slam headfirst into ground.
~GWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
“Listen… whatever you are,” I huffed, pushing myself up. I gritted my teeth, as the thing’s gleeful cackles continued to mock me. “Stop now. Before I force you out.” The voice’s cackling grew louder. “I-I’ll tell Twilight on you.” I’ve never felt so childish.
~Oh poor itty bitty pony~ Tell Twilight ~ She’ll definitely believe youuuuuuuu… ~ Oh!! And I know the perfect little song~
The voice suddenly started singing. I furiously shook my head, but nothing would stop the mocking voice.
…
…
In the distance, I could finally see the growing form of the Apple Family’s barn. I could smell the fragrant red apples, ready to be harvested. And small ways, past that was their house. It was heart stopping.
And just when I thought I could completely ignore the singing in my head, the voice decided to change songs.
~I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, coconuts, here they all are standing in a row!!~
Sweet Celestia, someone save me!!!
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I was a little apprehensive about the switching POV from DT/Cain to 3rd person focusing on the Apple Family, but you did it very well. I was actually surprised at how smooth it really was.
Changling invasion? Oh my Celestia. You have grand plans indeed! I can't wait!
btw 998262 is correct. It's "then" not "than." Your free grammar editor fails.
EDIT: The Doctor will happily except muffins as payment.
You missed one, 998334. It's "accept" not "except."
I just want to say that I think this is a great story and to keep up the good work :D
1000977
That is actually...dammit, why didn't I write it like that?! Now I am a sad author
I'll go ahead and modify it, I'm going to be going back and making fixes to Chapter 2 and 3 anyways, so I might as well go ahead and do that.
Modification complete, with some expanding to make it more fitting to my style of writing.
1003479
1004202
Zhul?
*author ish confused*
1006486
The fun has been doubled!
1006663
So I may assume you think the beginning is better now?
1006673
Ohhhh~!!! Don't worry!!! *waves hoofs*
I'm actually a bit stunned you changed it. You didn't have to. That's the honest truth.
But yeeeeeeuuuuppppp, (in my opinion) the intro is wayyyy more awesome. At least 21% cooler.
You are truly a good writer. And I hypertastically look forward to your next great chapter.
Warning: Grammar Nazi mode engaged. Minor errors and stylistic preferences will be dissected and held out for public viewing.
All right, let's get down to business. You were referring to me, as the one to look through for errors, right? I do hope you realize I do it so that the story may improve, and not in an attempt to criticize your work. I very much do enjoy reading this story, and the grammatical mistakes only distract me from it every time I see it... which is pretty often. So, here goes.
into the library, than I’m having a fit -- should be then
that would go hmmm? -- How about a comma between go and hmmm?
and I shook my head as it started walking again, -- you mean as i started walking again. Or you could say "resumed walking" to be fancy!
Sweet Apple Acre’s -- This apostrophe must be eradicated.
Birds were singing in the trees and in the air, and a soft breeze was blowing across the trees and grass. -- One trees too many, I think. But not actually an error, so I guess you can just leave it that way.
the small little tiara -- Aren't these both the same thing? Any way you could change this up a bit? Perhaps to "tiny, expensive" or even simply "tiny tiara".
Figuring it out wasn’t an immediate concern, unless it happened again, I continued on my way. -- Change the , to an ;. Or make it "unless it happened again, of course. I continued on my way."
Canterlot ponies.” AJ replied -- Should be a comma, or ,
Hearth Warmings Eve -- should be Hearth's Warming Eve
though.” Apple Bloom commented, -- needs to be a comma.
is the Spoon family, -- I think this was an intentional error, but the correct phrase would simply be "are the Spoons," since the capital letter shows that it's a name.
promised by Filthy Rich; His daughter, -- you don't capitalize after a semicolon. So should be his
on Grannys advice -- On Granny's advice
with a grain of salt.” Big Macintosh said, -- should be a comma.
As the kid drew closer, -- A kid is a young goat, not a young pony. , but perhaps you should just change this to pony, or change it to filly and change the next "filly" to "pony" instead.
I’m surprised ya’ll showed up. -- Why the all? This isn't plural! Should just be "ya" .
she crashed into fence. -- into a fence. Or the fence, but I think "a" would work better.
giving it a glare worthy of Fluttershy’s famous stare -- worth of doesn't quite fit here. Perhaps "to rival" or "which rivaled" or "on par with" or "giving it a glare that put even Fluttershy's to shame", if you want to get fancy. Your choice.
“Um… Are ya’ll alright?” -- would you ever say "Are you all alright" to just one person? This should just be "ya" again.
other peoples feelings. -- Come on, is it that hard to put an apostrophe here? The feelings belong to the people, therefore it's "people's".
here in Equestria was bothered me greatly. -- delete this was. Or change it to "was bothering". Please.
or anything else that needs repaired. -- Agh. No. anything else that needs -to be- repaired. Or anything else that -is in need of- repair.
I went at a pace that was, while a tad slower than that of Apple Blooms, wasn’t me half-assing it. -- If you take out the phrase between the commas, notice that you have "was wasn't" ? That's just strange. Simply delete the first "was". Also, delete the "s" on "Apple Blooms". Or delete "that of" and change it to "Apple Bloom's". Two choices here.
(and somewhat adorkable) -- This is intentional, right? But how is Apple Bloom a dork in any way? I'd just say "adorable". But that's my choice.
I’ve never seen you willing to any hard work of any kind. -- I think the verb "do" is missing here, inbetween "to" and "any". Please, return the "do" to its rightful place.
now,” Which was actually true, but -- needs to be lowercase.
So excuuusssee me -- "X" "Q" "C"? ecks-kyoo-see? How about simply extending the u vowel, like you would actually say it? Like "So excuuuuse me. Something along those lines.
1014770
You may wish to go through the first few grammar mistakes, as some of them no longer exist due to my editing of the introduction to this chapter. I am sure however that there are new ones.
And I appreciate the feedback. I am still in the process of editing Chapter two, some of which you may be able to see, though their near the top mostly.
1015117 Oh boy, more work! How fun!
1015144
Blame HoneyHoneyHoney, he wrote up a small suggestion of what a better intro would have been, I had to agree with him that it was better (adding of course a bit of my own writing style in) and therefore I modified it.
It shouldn't be too surprising, I've stated several times that if people think they have a suggestion to make it better, I will do my best to implement it provided I, after looking it over, agree with them. And grammar fixes are always a good thing, so those are a set in stone going to be fixed kind of thing.
If it helps, its only the section before the POV swap.
even though I knew there was nopony or nothing around me. Can you just delete the "or nothing" ? Why would they be talking to a thing?
I cried out, not caring at how stupid I sounded. -- delete the "at".
causing me crash into ground with a thud. "Ow!" -- causing me to crash into the ground with a thud.
That's all. Good intro. I'm not going to bother editing my earlier comment, instead choosing to simply make a new one.
Good chapter. Either the stress of the situation will fry Cain's mind or he will begin to merge with DT's mind.
Yay! Advice has been taken! (Although a little too quickly if you ask me.) Also, my brain did a rewind when just4imagemails's thing-y was yellow.
1035036
I have short term memory problems (more due to cramming so much information in my poor brain at a time combined with multi-tasking), as well as combined with my general laziness (I don't feel like searching through the previous page ) but what was said advice, if you'd be so kind, I mean, if you want to...
Frick, you beat me to it! I was going to do this with Silver Spoon xD
1000251 Now that you say it, an entry into Equestria like that would be funny. Especially the conlifct in the Ponyvillians' minds as they have to decide whether to think about the human as a human or as a Pinkie thing.
Also, I have my suspicions about what will happen during/after the changeling invasion, which I'd like to share with you (or anybody that cares about them):
I firmly believe that somepony(AJ[totally different behavior+knowledge of Chrysalis not really acting like Cadance] or AB[eyes shifting colors?]) will think that you are a changeling. That could lead to interesting dialogues, seeing that they could insist on blasting you with a spell to "unmask" you and the following apologies and additional suspicions about why you act different, even though you aren't a changeling.
840483
>>Suomibrony
Still waiting for this...
I'm a girl, but have never written a fanfic in my life... so no hope here
998492
And a one shot to be featured
1061701 It was a nice surprise to get featured, and I'm glad to see the graph of story views followed a similar pattern from mine, indicating some fresh views for this fine story.
Not to sound like a generic "MOAR" person, but I do wish to ask you to take a bit more time on this story. I could not help but notice the horrendous time-gap between the publishing of the various chapters.
So in other words...
Ahem...
WE REQUEST THINE EFFORT TO BE DOUBLED!!
>> Divine Path
Tenbatsu, that was formulated incorrectly.
I meant: ...I do wish to ask you to ask you to spend some more time writing this story
1062412
Unfortunately, as my recently hijacked blog states, I write mostly when I feel like it. Plus, I'm also working on two other fics as well, so that doesn't help.
It should be noted, I got four chapters out in a month. That's pretty good for me.
>> Rainbow Sparkle
Testing before I reply to make sure I am using the reply function correctly...
>>Rainbow Sparkle
I read that blog and commented earlier, so I do know now about your pace.
I take back my rushing.
Good luck.
Tenbatsu, how IS this function activated?
997733 Normally I just have a song playing in my head to drown them out, but I don't think this will help your case.
And now that I read it, I only wish there was more.
moar plz
Rather entertaining. You oughta make the next chapter.