The Solar Steward

by kissfromarose2

Finding

Spike was scared.

It wasn't easy to admit. But he was.

Ever since he was small every pony around him had been a stoic. Mom, Luna, Shining, even Twilight. When the bad things came they would make an unconvincing attempt at a joke, then gallop off to defeat whatever evil reared its head. Then they came back.

Except when they didn't.

Spike didn't like to think about when they didn't come back.

Mom hadn't come back.

There had been so much shouting that night. Months of furious arguments, whispered in corners where they thought he couldn't hear, had finally exploded into an inferno that had consumed them all.

The few things he could still remember haunted him. The cavernous echo of Twilight's steps on the empty hallways. The alien look of hatred on his mother's face.

The crash that had torn his world apart. Followed by the sound of a thousand pieces slowly falling to the floor.

He hadn't seen what had happened. Twilight had covered his eyes.

Neither of them would tell him what had happened either.

He remembered the aftermath though. The empty mirror frame. The shards strewn around the room like broken glass. A thousand broken reflections staring back at him from the stone floor, ready to cut like knives.

He'd been hurried out before he could finish counting them.

After that the arguments stopped.

But his mother was still gone.

Just like Luna.

Against all the logic his sister had drilled into him, Spike hoped she'd come back home soon.

---

Twilight had given up.

There was no point in trying anymore.

It was all utterly meaningless.

For all she'd claimed to the others about Nightmares and long Lost Princess's, deep down she knew the truth.

She wasn't doing it for them.

She was doing it for herself.

Twilight wasn't a soldier like her brother. She hadn't raised a shield or swung a sword. She had studied. Studied so that the pony who had taken her in and raised her up would be proud of her. Would trust her. Would believe in her.

As it turned out she had been a failure all along. She had just been too blind to see it.

What sort of faithful student couldn't even manage to keep one measly promise?

Even worse she'd dragged other ponies down with her. Brought them on a quest that had no hope of succeeding. Lied to them.

Maybe the Elements of Harmony really did have a cost.

---

She heard them before she saw them. Sound carried well in an empty clearing like hers, and compared to the numb silence their shouts were deafening.

"Twilight, is that you?"

She didn't bother responding.

"Are you sure it's her?"

"It's got to be, right?"

"She looks so pale."

"So sad..."

She could feel their breathing now. If she cared enough to look up she supposed she would see them clustered close around her like fillies to an ice-cream cart. Foals never did know what was good for them.

"Twilight can you hear us?"

"Wake up Sparky! We've got a flamey ass to kick!"

One of them lifted up her ear. "ARE YOU IN THERE TWILIGHT?" She supposed that was Pinkie Pie. Not that it mattered.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know Fluttershy. I really don't know."

Silence fell over them. The only sound was the quiet shuffling of hooves. Twilight hoped they'd finally decide to leave. They'd be better off without her.

Something soft fell over her shoulders. Reflexively Twilight breathed it in. It smelt like moonflowers. Like home. Without noticing her shaking began to ease.

"Are you sure, Rarity?"

"I wouldn't worry darling. Spider silk isn't that hard to come by. Just a small trip to the Badlands really. The dust should be nothing compare to what my poor coat's already gone through today. Besides, I'm certain Princess Luna won't mind waiting just a little longer. It is a gift after all."

Twilight's eyes flickered open. "Princess Luna."

Rainbow Dash reached over, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Yeah Sparky, remember her? You really gonna lead the head honcho down?"

Twilgith turned away. "I already did."

"I don't believe that" interjected Applejack fiercely. "And I bet if she were here she wouldn't either."

"But I did." Twilight whispered. "She warned me not to come here. Warned me that the Elements were poison. I came anyway. And I put you all in danger."

"That was our choice."

"I LIED to you!"

"You're telling the truth now."

"I nearly got you all killed!"

"But you didn't." Fluttershy said softly. "You protected us. You did your best. That's more than enough."

"No, it's not. I'm selfish. I only did all this so Princess Luna would love me. I'm a terrible pony!"

"She already does. And so does Spike. And they're counting on you." Rarity paused, "Aren't they what really matter?"

"But what if I fail? What if I can't do it? I'm not a hero, not like in the stories."

"Maybe you aren't. I doubt any of us are. But you are his hero."

"But I've already lost."

"Twilight." She turned. Pinkie Pie stood a few feet away from her, her bright pink coat somehow having repelled the dirt and ash that had clung to everyone else. On her face was the most serious look Twilight had ever seen.

"I want to tell you a story, if that's okay with you? I think it might help."

Cautiously Twilight nodded.

Pinkie smiled wistfully. "Once, when I was super duper small, right after I got my cutie mark, I was baking cupcakes. Now these weren't just any old cupcakes, they were for my big sister Maud's first birthday party since I'd found out my special talent. I wanted to make it perfect." She shrugged. "I mean I had to make up for all those birthday parties where I hadn't made it the bestest Pinkie party ever!" Her smile faded. "But I tripped. The mix went everywhere. All the decorations were ruined and the extra special cake I made splattered all over the walls. And, as much as I tried to fix it, I only made everything worse. By the time my family came back I was sure I was the worst sister ever. So I decided they'd all be better off if I wasn't around and sent myself to my room."

"What happened to the party?" Twilight asked quietly.

Pinkie shrugged. "In the end there wasn't one. But it wasn't because I splattered the cake. It was because I wasn't there. I was a pebble from giving up entirely when my big sister Maud came into my room. I was so sure she'd blame me that I couldn't look at her. I kept waiting and waiting for her to scold me or tell me what a failure I was. But she didn't say a word. She just hugged me and said "I love you Pinkie." And that was enough."

For one blissful moment Twilight could feel the warmth of knowing without question where she belonged. Then she remembered the twisted look on Luna's face. "But I let you down", she said quietly.

"That's okay Twilight." Pinkie Pie said. "Everypony makes mistakes. What's important is that you get back up again."

"But I'm not sure I can do this on my own."

"Then don't, silly!"

"You still want to help me?"

"Of course we do, we're your friends!"

For a moment Twilight was struck dumb with amazement. Then she looked at the mares, at the friends who had come with her so far. Their smiling faces reignited a hope she had thought lost forever.

She reached out to them. And they reached back.

As forelegs of white, orange, pink, yellow and blue wrapped around her, Twilight took one last look before closing her eyes, giving herself entirely to the embrace.

All she could see were friends.

Finally she understood.

---

Unnoticed above their heads the Moon rose up above the western horizon.

Comments

[Satakieli]

As forelegs of white, orange, pink, yellow and blue wrapped around her, Twilight took one last looked before closing her eyes, giving herself entirely to the embrace.
All she could see were friends.
Finally she understood.