• Published 25th Jun 2012
  • 747 Views, 11 Comments

N.I.E. - DudeBroBrony

A tale of 2 bros who end up in Equestria. But these 2 aren't just your average joe. They're gangstas

  • ...

Chaptah 2: Canterlot Blues

Chaptah 2: Canterlot Blues

By: Dude Bro Brony


"Alright you two, just get on the train and try not to draw any attention to yourselves, okay?"

After a few minutes of waiting at the station the Canterlot Express had finally arrived. For now everything had gone smoothly. No one had come out and acknoledge the two now-ponies that were new to this world. And much to Twilight's delight they didn't run into Pinkie Pie. The last thing this mismatched trio needed right now was a welcome wagon party. As the train opened it's doors Rex the tall dark grey unicron and Mo the dark blue stocky pegasus walked onto the train. Rex walked around the train in curiostiy. It was very apparent this place lacked electricity, yet they were able to run somewhat modern conviences like a train. He pondered the idea of the Purple Unicorn's glowing aura was an alternate power source for 'Ponykind'. Mo's mind was packed with much more trivial knowledge. Mainly, where could he find food.

"Ey! Purple pony! You gots anythin' to eat on dis here train thing?"

Twilight was once again taken back by Mo's accent and use of grammar. Despite having been in their companionship for a few hours now she was having trouble understanding what they were saying sometimes. But at least they seemed to speak the same language, that was a plus.

"Follow me, I'll show you to the dinning car."

Twilight forced a smile on her face and began leading her two new friends further down the train to the dinning cart. Just like their short trek through Ponyville the brothers recived curious stares, but nothing else. But there was one little foal at the end of the passenger caught that struck a nerve in Mo. The little foal's stare wasn't just a curious one, it seemed to be filled with disgust. As Mo walked by he stopped for a moment and stared back at her giving the evil eye.

"Da fuck you lookin' at?"

Mo's deep and strange voice instilled a great amount of fear in the small foal as she quickly averted her eyes and began to whimper some.

"That's what I thought. Punk ass bitch."

"Come on Mo!"

Noticing the little confrontation Rex grabbed a hold of his younger brother and started to drag him along into the dinning cart. The dinning cart was fiarly simple. A small aray of tables with a walk up bar for quick meals and snacks. Twilight was already ordering her own food as Rex and Mo strolled in behind her.

"Okay, what do you two want to eat?"

Mo pushed Twilight out of the way and hopped up onto the counter.

"Hand in the air nigga! This is a hold up! Gimmie all the food you got! Cash too!"

The clerk behind the counter just stared at Mo with a raised eyebrow. He had no idea what a nigga or a hold-up was.

"Today's soup is a Tomato Bisque, and we have a dessert special for a by one ge-"

"Shut the fuck up nigga! Open da register and hand over the cash or I'll start paintin' the walls with yo ass!"

As Mo became more and more agressive Twilight used her magic to yank down on Mo's large bushy tail bringing him down to the ground with a loud thump.

"Sorry about that, these two ponies are..uhh, new to the area. They're...uhh...my distant cousins, so I'd thought I'd give'm a tour of Canterlot and uhh..."

"I don't need your life story Twilight. Just keep those two vagrants off my dinning cart."

Rex raised an eyebrow at the clerk. Mo had been an upright asshole, but he had just been sitting there.

"Vagrants? Fuckin' racist ass horse. Come on Mo."

Rex would lead Mo out of the Dinning Cart in disgust. Twilight would once again apologise to the clerk before making her exit as well. Between the three of them it was a long and silent ride to Canterlot.


"We're here!"

Twilight's words were filled with excitement and pride. While Ponyville was indeed her home. Canterlot would always hold a special place in her heart. Despite the incident in the Dinning Cart she belived the capitol of Equestria would impress Mo and Rex. And it did. The two brohters were gawking at the window taking in the sights of the huge castle and all the structures inbetween.

"Aw man, this is like the Pony Times Square!"

Normally calm and compossed Rex was unable to contain himself after seeing Canterlot. With the sound of the breaks the two of them rushed toward the door ready to go and take in the sights. Once the doors opened the two colts rushed out side leaing their guide behind.

"Hey! Wait up!"

Twilight gallopped off the train hoping to catch up to Rex and Mo, but was intercepted by a surprising face.


Shinging Armor leaped over toward Twilight after seeing his beloved sister come off the train. He hadn't seen her since after the wedding and the ordeal with the Changling Queen.

"Shinging Armor! How are you and Cadence do- Wait, I'd love to catch up Big Bro but I-"

A large white leg would wrap around Twilight's neck dragging her away from the train.

"Let's go for lunch. I havn't eaten all day and we really need to catch up Lil' Sis."

There was no getting out of this one. Twilight was dragged away by her brother leaving Rex and Mo to their own devices.


"Daaaayyyyuuum! Look at all this fancy shit! These ponies know how to live!"

Mo began flying around the streets of Canterlot looking into all the shops. Stylin' clothes, designer swag, there was just too much to take in. Rex, unable to fly on his own, stuck to the street level taking in the people more than the shops and their products. The first thing he noticed was the abundance of unicorns in the city. It seemed pegasi and regular horses were few and far between in the Canterlot elite. Despite the obvious socioeconomic structure to that Rex felt a good deal of pride in his new found horn. With that in mind he found a swagger in his step as he cruised around the city still getting the odd eye from time to time. Except for one pony in particular. Her eyes weren't in a curious stare or the stink eye, her stare was somehow different. Rex couldn't tell what was different, but found himself unable to look away from her. She was a unicorn like most ponies in Canterlot with pristine white fur and a graceful and flowwing purple mane. Rex tipped his gold shadded glasses down for a better look until Mo came flying in and crashing into him.

"My bad man! I havn't gotten my kanding down yet, but you need to see this shit!"

The hyperactive pegasus startted to drag Rex along with him and out of sight from the white unicorn. Before Rex could recompose himself Mo had pushed him across the street and into a shop.

"There! Look at that!"

Mo pointed out a watch in a display case. It was far from the fanciest thing in the store but it struck a cord in the brother that couldn't be ignored.

"Holy shit...it looks just like Dad's watch."

Rex looked at the watch in disbelif at what Mo had found. The resemblance to their Dad's watch, a family heriloom, was uncanny. A flurry of memories, both good and bad, began to filled Rex's head as Mo made his way toward the owner of the store.

"Hey, how much for that watch there?"

The store owner would turn around revealing himself to be the stallion known as Fancy Pants. A well known Pony in Canterlot, an elite among the elite.

"If you have to ask you probably cannot afford it, sir."

Mo's eye narrowed at Fancy Pants's response.

"Nigga I got the cash, I'm just a baller on a budget."

With a rather elegant sigh Fancy Pants revealed the price to Mo.

"It will cost you eight thousand Bits."

"Da fuck is a Bit?"

Fancy Pants's hoof fell into his head. He wondered how these two ponies were even allowed into Equestria.

"Dear, could you come in here to take care of these two?"

He had spent less than a minute with Mo but was already suffering from a strong headache. As he walked away his companion would come into the shop greeting Mo and Rex with a smile.

"Bonjour gentlemen, my name is Fleur. Can I help you today?"

Mo's eyes went wide at the enterance of the gorgerous white pony. His jaw even seemed to drop a bit as well. While Rex could admit she was rather beautiful he gave Mo a strong nunge in his shoulder.

"Da fuck Mo? Beastiality is wrong."

"Wait what?"

"Youz fantizing about a fucking horse right now!"

"...No...I'm just...Wait, it ain't beastiality if I'm a horse too!"

"But you still got the mind a real person. You're still human on the inside, and now you want to fuck a horse!"


Fleur just watched the two brothers argue in their odd mannerisms. She kept up her gracious smile but was getting pretty worried about these two.

"Fancy, could you come back in here please?"

Her words had an underlaying tone of panic as she called Fancy Pants back to the store floor. Mo had now turned around in disgust completely unsure of his sexuality now.

"Sorry Mr. Fancy, my friend was just checking out your...ummm...gold digger. Don't worry I set him straight."

By this point Fancy was just flabberghasted by what was going on in his store.

"I think I'll be asking you two to leave now."

Rex lowered his head at that sentiment. His horn was now pointing at Fancy Pants in a threatening manner. He wasn't going through the whole Dinning Cart situation again. He wasn't going to let any racist horse kick him out of a place again.

"No, I think we'll stay. Right Mo? Mo?"

Mo was huddled over near the display case with the watch. It seemed as if he was murmuring something about all these niggas being gay.

"I belive it would be in both your best interest to leave my shop at once."

Fancy's tone was becoming more and more agressive and Rex simply wasn't going to have it. Fueled by rage Rex lunged forward at Fancy Pants tackling him to the ground. The two ponies began to wrestle on the ground. Normally Rex would have no problem taking down a pompous prick like Fancy Pants, but he wasn't used to his four legged body and thus began struggling against Fancy Pants. Fleur ran out of the store in a panic and returned shortly with thre members of the royal guard. Together they subdued Rex ending the brawl. Seeing his brother bound in magical bonds Mo began wrecking everything he could in the store before he too was but into magical bongs and escorted out of the store.

"Get the fuck off me! I got my rights nigga! I got my rights!"

Rex's words became slurred by anger while Mo went surprisingly quietly. Not too far off from the commotion was Twilight and Shinning Armor eating their lunch together while reminicing. With a sigh Shinning Armor began trotting toward his knights with Twilight following behind. As soon as she saw the two beging taken away he jaw dropped and she knew the worst had happened.

"This can't be happening."

In his struggle Rex got a good look at Twilight Sparkle and began to shout out to her.

"Hey! Purple Horse! Get these niggas off me!"

Twilight tried plowing her way through the gathering crowd to get closer to Rex, Mo, and the Royal Guard.

"Just do as they say and don't struggle! I'll talk with the Princess and get you out of this! I promise!"

As the two brothers are taken away Shining Armor looks down at her sister in surprise.

"You know those two?"

Twilight gives out a small sigh and starts heading for the castle.

"It's a long story, now come on, I have to talk to the Princess before it's too late."

With no further questions Shinging Armor follows her sister hoping that at one point something here will make sense.


Rex and Mo sat in adjacent cells in what could only be refered to as Pony Prison. Rex remained silent mad at himself for loosing his temper, but even angrier at that asshole Fancy Pants. Mo poked his hoof out of the bars in view of Rex.

"Hey. Look what I got."

Rex turned his head angrily but smiled after seeing the watch that resembled their father's watch in Mo's hoof.

"You sly mother fucker!"

"Hey, they way the faggot horse treated us, I thought we deserved some compensation."

Rex just laughed at Mo's theft, his mood finally starting to brighten up.

"You're still gay for that horse though."

"You still wanna suck that lizard's cock."

The both of them began laughing again leaning back to back with a layer of cold stone between them.

"Mo, shut the fuck up."

To Be Continued...