Equestria is broken, damaged beyond all repair. Maybe. But sometimes, a little dirt and goo can piece it back together. Just with a new... sheen... to things!
hmmm while the ending leaves me a Little suspicious there is a good amount of evidence that this is going the way i hoped vengeful pay back not heroes turned to full on arch villain due to a betrayal. while i would be fine with that more hopeing for a vengeful cast to heroes turned evil demon. the ending can be explained in a few ways that don't involve draining free will or soul from green leaves
I still hope you can ge a clop writer it kind of feels like it belongs in here, probably becouse of the cuts that will need to be made.
it is still a great story but it just feels like it is missing something without the clop, probably because it is writen like it is seposed to be there instead of the cut.
I agree, the clop would be really nice to have. That is why I am ending the chapter like this. So that at some future point the clop may be added in as a separate chapter filling the negative space I am leaving.
Hmm I'm disappointed that the more sensual scenes are being skipped over. Cramming them in later is almost never ideal either. I'm still watching, but the next few updates will likely determine if that continues. Otherwise this was a very nice little scene and I look forward to seeing what is next.
Ashinda is currently the one and only active writer on this story, and he's not super comfortable writing highly descriptive sex. So if you're coming for the clop, then you'll get the scenes that were written in the original story when they are repolished for the new. He's comfortable enough doing that. But if you want new clop scenes built from whole cloth published in union with chapters in the main plot then you need to either help find the writer/writers to make that happen, or be an active participant in helping Ashinda figure that part out.
You can do that by volunteering to be a proofreader, being available as a sounding board, offering suggestions and input during the writing process over Slack or using Google Docs comments.
Since this is a story written for fun and not for profit, either it stays fun for the only active writer/artist we've got or we won't see progress.
If you guys really want me to take a stab at the clop scene next, I'm willing to give it another shot. But it will delay advancement in the next chapter while I work on that instead. And it'd be really nice if I had one or two people who could talk about scene progression and making the more complex elements of characterization as currently present work in sexytimes.
I think it comes down to more 'show, don't tell' and I find that hard to do without feeling the corn factor going up as I try to write it.
great to see this story back.
An excellent chapter as always, and I can't wait to see what happens to "Nebby" (Celestia's Mane, I love that nickname!) in the next chapter!
He'll get just EXACTLY what he deserves, like the worthless, lecherous, murdering piece of scum that he is, I hope! roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/applejargh.gif
mmmmmm good story
hmmm while the ending leaves me a Little suspicious there is a good amount of evidence that this is going the way i hoped vengeful pay back not heroes turned to full on arch villain due to a betrayal. while i would be fine with that more hopeing for a vengeful cast to heroes turned evil demon. the ending can be explained in a few ways that don't involve draining free will or soul from green leaves
I still hope you can ge a clop writer it kind of feels like it belongs in here, probably becouse of the cuts that will need to be made.
it is still a great story but it just feels like it is missing something without the clop, probably because it is writen like it is seposed to be there instead of the cut.
7759902
I agree, the clop would be really nice to have. That is why I am ending the chapter like this. So that at some future point the clop may be added in as a separate chapter filling the negative space I am leaving.
Hmm I'm disappointed that the more sensual scenes are being skipped over. Cramming them in later is almost never ideal either. I'm still watching, but the next few updates will likely determine if that continues. Otherwise this was a very nice little scene and I look forward to seeing what is next.
7761077
Watch or don't, that's always up to you.
Ashinda is currently the one and only active writer on this story, and he's not super comfortable writing highly descriptive sex. So if you're coming for the clop, then you'll get the scenes that were written in the original story when they are repolished for the new. He's comfortable enough doing that. But if you want new clop scenes built from whole cloth published in union with chapters in the main plot then you need to either help find the writer/writers to make that happen, or be an active participant in helping Ashinda figure that part out.
You can do that by volunteering to be a proofreader, being available as a sounding board, offering suggestions and input during the writing process over Slack or using Google Docs comments.
Since this is a story written for fun and not for profit, either it stays fun for the only active writer/artist we've got or we won't see progress.
Cheers!
If you guys really want me to take a stab at the clop scene next, I'm willing to give it another shot. But it will delay advancement in the next chapter while I work on that instead. And it'd be really nice if I had one or two people who could talk about scene progression and making the more complex elements of characterization as currently present work in sexytimes.
I think it comes down to more 'show, don't tell' and I find that hard to do without feeling the corn factor going up as I try to write it.
Wonderful chapter, one can really understand all the emotions being felt as if they were their own
This looks much better than the original. I think that keeping the clop at bay but keeping the teasing would be great :)
I'd find it hilariously cute if Rainbow Dash now looks like this :
http://www.deviantart.com/art/Jersey-Devil-Dash-643300112
Sooooon.
Interesting, I'm liking the new slower pace of the story, makes the plot feel a little more 'real' if you know what I mean.
Good work, keep it up.
good story I want moar chapter if it not too much trouble
''Tis a damn shame this story doesn't have that many views or likes.
It's better than most on this site.