Ludwig continued to work on finishing the third movement of his tenth symphony. He felt that it was so close now that all it needed was an ending. At first, he tried for an abrupt ending with cords being piled on top of another, but he scratched it out because it seemed to abrupt. Then he rewrote it to be much longer, more dramatic but ended up crossing it out because it seemed unneeded. Then he tried for a much shorter conclusion, still, this didn't seem to work either. Never the less, he kept working at it. When he wasn’t working or being visited, he would look out the window from his hospital bed. There he slowly watched the frost starting to creep up on the glass as the Pegasi pushed gray and white clouds to fill the sky.
On the day before he was released from the hospital, Beethoven woke up to the first fall of snow of early December. The hospital staff started to put off a little bit of the festive decorations inside his room and out in the hallway. Scarlet ribbons and paper snowflakes were taped on the walls and pinned on the ceiling. He noticed that when the door was opened, there was a sign that said, “Happy Hearths Warming.”
When visiting hours came, it was Twilight that showed up, along with another pony. “Ah, the doubting Frederic,” Ludwig said as he looked up, “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
The Pianist rolled his eyes as Beethoven unrolled the scroll, “Hello again to you too, sir. I see that you’re doing well.”
“The doctors told me that they’ll release me by tomorrow,” the old man looked over to Twilight. “So what news have you brought me this time?”
“Well, Octavia wanted to pass the message along and say that the orchestra has begun rehearsing on your sixth symphony, just as you said.” Twilight’s horn lit up and levitated some clothing over to a chair. “Rarity wanted me to drop this off to you, which is good timing considering that the snow is starting to come down.”
“Thank you,” Ludwig nodded before turning his attention to Horseshoepin, “But why are you here? Out of all the ponies I’ve known, I didn’t expect you’re the one that would be visiting me.”
Frederic sighed and stepped forward, Beethoven just noticed that he had a saddlebag on his back. “Mr. Beethoven,” he began. “I… I want to get something off my chest. Since I’ve just seen all your published work that has to do with the piano, I wanted to make the trip here to say that… I’m sorry. I’ve underestimated you, as a composer, a pianist, conductor, not being a pony… everything. Looking back now to what I’ve said, that was insensitive of me, and I apologize for it. It was uncalled for, rude, and now that I’ve seen the published works of your piano sonatas, trios, concertos, and even that fantasy… I’m really sorry for not taking you as seriously as I should have been.”
Ludwig looked up from the scroll, “Why have you come to say this to me now?”
“Well…” the stallion sat down, “Let’s just say that, after playing for you and reviewing your work… You’ve given me the inspiration that I was lacking. Not many ponies know this, but aside from playing the piano, I’ve composed some pieces for it as well. Well… as an early Hearths Warming gift, I’ve written some Nocturne’s that I’m seriously considering publishing, and I’m dedicating it to you.”
Now Beethoven was curious, setting the tenth aside on the bed, the Earth Pony dug through and pulled out a portfolio in which he flipped it open to pull out a sheet of paper. After setting it on the bed, Ludwig took it up, “Is this the original score?” he asked and Frederic nodded. “It’s in E-flat Major… Sehr gute Handschrift für ein Pony.” Ludwig looked on, the sounds of the piano keys started playing in his head that he hums along. “It sounds like an aria… Herr Handel or Mozart perhaps…? No… This is quite new…” he read on further. When he got to the end, he handed the manuscript back to him. “This is good. It has grace, movement, and passion yet, there’s something melancholic about it. Is this the only thing of your work you’ve brought?”
He shook his head, “No sir, I’ve brought-”
“Wait,” Ludwig interrupted, “I haven’t read the scroll, what are you saying?”
“I said, I’ve actually brought all of my work with me, just in case you didn’t like that one.”
“Let me see,” Twilight lifted the portfolio up to the giant in which he got a good look at the several manuscripts there. Beethoven picked up one of Horseshoepin’s draft that had some sections crossed out, “At least you’re not lazy…” he commented. He picked up and looked through several pages, all of the piano pieces from Preludes, Nocturnes, and Etudes, “Some of these are interesting, but the sound of it… I can’t exactly place my finger on it… but there’s something… Polish, about it? I know it’s not in the style of the English, French, or Italians, yet, neither is it exactly German…”
He felt a tap at his side, in which Horseshoepin asked slowly, “So… you… like… them?”
“By the time I go, at least I can rest assured that this world will have much better music. Neither this world nor my own needs another Beethoven, but this world might need you and… maybe Fräulein Sweetie Belle, except she hasn’t shown me anything of her work as of yet.”
Frederic looked over to the lilac alicorn, “Who is he talking about, Princess?”
“The sister of one of my friends,” she turned to the old composer, “I’m rather surprised, why Sweetie Belle?”
After reading from the scroll, Ludwig started to put Horseshoepin’s manuscripts back in the portfolio, “The little one has offered up her services to copy a movement of a string quartet so that she may learn from me. Last time I’ve seen her, she told me that she’s starting to compose music of her own. She expects me to teach her about composition.”
“Really?” Frederic tilted his head, “How old is she?”
“Eleven,” Twilight answered. “I help her with her friends every once a week with their skills to help them find their cutie marks.”
“Oh…” the Pianist nodded, his ears perked up, "Do you hear hoofsteps?"
Over to the door, Twilight turned in time to see a familiar face peeking through. "Um... Am I interrupting something?"
"Come on in Fluttershy," and so the yellow pegasus entered through. "Are you here for Mr. Beethoven as well?"
"And for you too," she looked over to Horseshoepin, "Are you sure I'm not intruding on anything?"
"Not at all ma'am," he nodded to her, "I was showing Mr. Beethoven my Hearths Warming present."
"This early?" she blinked.
"I'll tell you about it later," Twilight told her friend. "So what do you need me for?"
The pegasus looked over to Ludwig who was going through some sheet music. "Can I speak with him first before I tell you?"
Although curious, Twilight waited for Beethoven to look over Frederic's work to where he was able to look up. "Ah, the yellow one that takes care of animals. When did you come in?"
As Ludwig was stuffing the portfolio, the mare timidly approached the giant, "I just got here sir. By the looks of it, you seem to be doing quite well."
"Do I? The food has been terrible and the pills make me sleepy, but at least I get be able to walk out of here tomorrow now that I don't hurt as much."
She nodded, "I see. I was wondering... do you celebrate Hearths Warming where you come from?"
Ludwig looked up from the scroll. "I don't exactly know what you mean, is it a holiday?" Fluttershy nodded. "When do you celebrate it?"
"The twenty-fifth of December."
"Now that's fascinating," he said as he handed Horseshoepin back his music. "Back home, we too have a holiday in which we called... Weihnachten. In which is a very important day that we celebrate that we too put up evergreens, ribbons, and lit candles. I'm not sure if your 'Hearths Warming,' is anything similar to my holiday."
"Oh... Um, Mr. Beethoven, can I ask you a... very personal question?"
Ludwig adjusted the bed and closed his composition book. "That being?"
"Just," she pawed at the tiled floor, "Please don't get angry when I ask this but... what do you miss? By that, I don't mean from friends, family and your country. Rather, what do you miss from hearing?"
Beethoven laughed, "What don't I miss?" then he raised an eyebrow, "Why are you asking this?"
"Curiosity," she simply explained. "I-I mean, I never known anypony that was deaf before. And someone said that you lost your hearing slowly. So, what exactly do you miss from not being able to hear?"
Ludwig looked out the window, "I don't miss music because I've always been able to hear it in my head. Even now. I could hear what a piano sound's like, or a viola, a clarinet, a choir, I can still hear them all when I'm not being able to... But, even with that said, there's a good many things that I do wish I could hear just one more time. The wind in the trees, the songs of birds, the crunch of snow underneath your feet, the laughter and crying of children, the clopping of hooves upon the road, the chime of a bell, the downpour of rain, laughter, the crackling of a fireplace, even voices that I had taken for granted... are now all gone. All the music of nature is lost to me." He turned back to Fluttershy, "It's those little things, those great masterpieces you hear every moment that I miss the most."
"Thank you, sir," she turned to Twilight, "Now can I talk to you?"
"I'll be on my way," Horseshoepin said as he nodded over to Ludwig, "and thank you for your blessing, Mr. Beethoven."
As the Pianist started to walk away from the hospital, Twilight and Fluttershy stepped out into the hall outside of the giant's room. "What was that all about?"
"Twilight," her friend told her, "I was wondering, that after hearing that from Mr. Beethoven, do you think it could be possible to restore his hearing, even if it's temporary?"
The Princess of Friendship shook her head, "The doctors here said that his eardrums have long been damaged beyond repair. Even the strongest hearing aids from the most skilled of Unicorns might be able to restore his hearing for at least a few minutes."
"But what about an Alicorn?" the pegasus inquired. "Twilight, you have more magic now than ever before. I've seen you do amazing things to where you've earned the title 'The Element of Magic.'"
"I know where you're going with this," Twilight stepped in. "But even with one alicorn, it will take an insane amount just to have him hear for an hour."
"What if there was more then one?"
Her lilac friend blinked, "Excuse me?"
"Well, I was thinking, what would happen if you got the other Princess to help you with that hearing aid spell?"
"Wait, hold on," Twilight lifted her foreleg, "Why are you bringing this up, to begin with?"
Fluttershy hid her face behind her pink mane, "I... I don't know. I thought it would be a nice Hearths Warming present to have him hear again, even if it doesn't last."
One sigh later, Twilight and Fluttershy started to walk down the hallway, "I'll tell you what," she said. "I'll look into the medical spells to see what I can come up with. It might be difficult, but after what you brought up, it might not be entirely impossible either."
_*_
The next evening, Beethoven noticed a huge difference as he stood up from his bed. He no longer felt pain in his abdomen, even when he bent down to reach for his new winter coat. After signing some papers and putting his clothes back on, Ludwig was finally able to walk out of the hospital with the composition book under his arm and a walking stick. He paused at a darkened window to taken a view of the new dark blue coat. Now having a proper view of the coat as a whole, it was similar to his usual topcoats by pattern, only that it was much longer as it reached down a little past his knees. The buttons, Ludwig could have sworn were made out of real emeralds, and while the sleeves were a touch too long, they were able to hide his hands from the cold. It also came with a blue hood that was encompassed in a thick, gray fur. After checking his pockets to see the key to his old and new apartment were still there, Beethoven proceeded to head towards the apartment complex.
The clouds above blocked out both moon and starlight, so the only source of light was from the lampposts and lit windows of the town as the composer cut through the park. It was bitterly cold on his face as the wind blew, yet, the falling snow nearly blinded him from where he was going. Then suddenly, all the wind and snow suddenly ceased.
Confused, Ludwig pulled off his hood to find that the lights of the town had gone dark. The only source of light now was from a single lamppost that only illuminated a part of the path he was on and some patch of snow. He swung around until he spotted two, glowing white eyes in the darkness.
"You again!" Beethoven said, this time more annoyed then frighten. "What do you want now? I just got out of the hospital."
A thin hand stretched down the path before it lifted itself, materializing to where the old man could see the outline of its clawlike shadow. Ludwig pulled out the magic scroll from one of his pockets before handing it over to the Shadow.
Well hello to you too. My Employer wished to know how you're progressing with the symphony. May I see it?
Ludwig clenched onto the composition book tighter, "No."
Oh? And why not?
"Because you're just a shadow," he replied. "And shadows, no matter how intimidating, cannot hurt me."
Just as Beethoven was about to turn around, he was suddenly lifted off his feet and felt as if his rib cage to his hips were tightening in a grip like a boa constrictor. He was drawn up to the Shadow's eyes. But was pulled back a little to see the scroll.
Are you sure about that statement, Herr Beethoven? Can we get down to business and see what you have written or do you want to make this any more difficult then it already is?
"My book," he said. "It's in my book."
Gently putting him down, the Shadow snatched the book into its hand, flipping through its pages.
Yes... Very good... Quite interesting indeed. But I'm guessing this Third Movement doesn't have an ending yet?
"I haven't found the right ending for it," Ludwig said, feeling his arms as if they were bruised.
And I also see that you've been working on sections of string quartets as well. Only this time, not as much as the symphony that you should be working on. Good, at least my Employer will be pleased.
"Demon," Beethoven said as he went up and snatched his book back. "Did you happen to know that I'm a dead man walking?"
And why are you bringing this up?
"Because those doctors back there said that my liver had too much lead in it and that I have only a few years to live. So tell me, did you know about that before you kidnapped me?"
What would it matter to my Employer if you're-
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR DAMN EMPLOYER!!" Beethoven roared as he tried to hit the shadow with his walking stick. "Did you, or did you not know about it?"
There was a pause from the shadow.
Let's just say that I found out the same time your doctor told you about it. I was there too.
Now Ludwig's temper was at a boiling point, "Sie Hundesohn! Du Fotze einer schmutzigen Hure! Sie wusste, dass ich sterben würde, und Sie haben nichts! Sprich zu diesem Arbeitgeber, dass Sie die Symphonie vergessen kann, weil sein Begleiter nicht egal, ob ich leben oder sterben! Gute Nacht du Teufel aus den Tiefen des Satans Arschloch!"
He was about to march into the darkness all on his own, but then the shadow flew the scroll up to his face, to which Beethoven froze at what he read.
I didn't want to tell you this, but you've left me with no choice. Herr Beethoven, your adopted son, Karl van Beethoven, is dead.
Ludwig snatched the magic scroll from the Shadow's hand and turned to face his glowing eyes. "What do you mean? I thought you just intended that you've been watching me this whole time?"
Along with picking you up from the ground like a rag doll and was able to sneak around without you or any of these ponies noticing, what makes you think that I can't hear about the news from your world? I may be a shadow, but I'm quite capable of doing so much when my Employer demands it. You see, your nephew/adopted son has become so depressed that he can't live up to your unrealistically high expectations, of always disappointing you, and feeling that he's responsible for your disappearance, that two months ago had bought a gun and put a hole through his head.
Beethoven shook his head, "N-No, you're lying!"
How can you tell if you can't hear my voice? Perhaps I am lying, or perhaps I am telling the truth. Or maybe the fact is that your precious Karl has shot himself, and you weren't there to prevent it. Your nephew is dead, all because you refuse to finish the symphony.
The Shadow was right, Ludwig couldn't tell if the creature was telling him the truth or not. Part of him wants to deny it, yet, another part looked back at how he treated him and wondered if there really was some sort of truth in it.
I do hope you would reconsider. After all, I did promise you that once you're done, you'll go back to the exact same place and time that we've left. So maybe, just maybe, you might able to stop him from shooting himself in the head. Are you sure you want to stop now when you're nearly halfway?
Leaning up against the lamppost and letting his composition book drop into the snow, Beethoven nodded.
Very good. I'll give a positive report to my Employer sir. Until we meet again, Auf Wiedersehen Herr Beethoven.
As soon as the scroll dropped into the snow, Ludwig looked up to find lights from the other lampposts of the park, as well as the windows from the town. Beethoven, with his back against the iron pole, slid down into the frost, picking up both the scroll and the notebook. And then, with the news of Karl heavy in his mind, Ludwig van Beethoven did something he hadn't done as a child.
In the light of the lamppost, he sobbed.
WOW, now the plot gets deeper
7606089 And the funny part is, I still have no idea what I'm doing. My muse is really weird like that.
It's happening… Herr Beethoven is so close! Now, I wonder how the equestrians shall react to the sixth? Or, what happens when they hear the ninth?
7606159 For the Great Ninth, let's say that I have something very special planed for the occasion.
7606098
Just like a Composer.
Interesting Chapter, even though you're working at random (or as random as it can be for you) you've still managed to make a very decent story. Kudos to you.
You don't usually expect a force like this to reveal itself to random people who just happen to be in the area. If this was a boring fanfic, only Ludwig would've been able to see the shadow. I'm very pleasantly surprised that Twilight and Horseshoepin saw it and even talked to it!
Edit: and now with the edits my comment doesn't make sense anymore
I enjoy things not going right for Twilight. Helps keep her from developing mary sue-esque tendencies.
I'm embarrassed that it took me reading the entire fic to figure out that Horseshoepin was Chopin. Then again, I started reading this a few hours , so not too embarrassed.
Remove it or that one.
Personally, I think
fits better.
But this is your story, tell it however you want.
You're quite good at imagery, painting a picture, conjuring emotion. Plot, character design, worldbuilding not so much.
7607888 Fixed.
7607913 A little advice: if you're going to criticize something that displeases you, why not give me suggestions or something I could work with? Unless you don't give me what's wrong and how to fix it, I'm afraid for you, this story will not get any better.
7607956 Well, until now, the mysterious shadow has been an extreme background element, a plot device used to create the situation of Beethoven in Equestria. The symphony hasn't had any particular emphasis, only vague recurring mentions, and the man's obsession with returning home has been unconvincing at best. His passion in music, in the composers and performers and culture around him, in his impact upon all those things, comes across as vastly more important to both character and writer. That's where your focus has been, and it works.
Well, this latest chapter doesn't fit that. You've developed the shadow's relationship with others and ascribed traits to its master that change the tone of the story dramatically. If this is a "oh by the way don't forget that Beethoven isn't here by choice" reminder, then the escalation was inadvisable and putting the shadow in direct conflict with Twilight (especially by making threats of future interference) is a distraction to your story.
On the other side of the coin, if you are trying to escalate and push the story in a new direction, then your antagonist design is somewhat lackluster. Obviously powerful, unknown origin, psychopathic behavior, a few vague and patronizing statements; it's a very by-the-numbers villain introduction and is very bland, especially compared to your far more vibrant writing that has carried this story as far as it has. It's a step backwards in quality.
7608045 Scratch that last comment I've made.
So, just to clarify with me after reading what you've given me, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but you're saying:
- Give the Tenth more emphasis somehow along either getting rid of Ludwig's need to return to Vienna (which is unlikely) or figure out how to make his obsession to return more convincing (even though I don't know how at this point).
- For the Shadow, get rid of furthering character development about his "job" especially with the part of Horseshoepin being there, or completely redesign the structure, personality, character, etc... of the antagonist altogether by either completely rewriting all the parts about it, or dedicate an entire chapter to the shadow.
I'm asking these questions because in the past, I have a talent of taking anyone's criticisms that are constructive and I weave them into the story. I do hope that between the two of us, that we could create some kind of compromise.
7608156 Now that's what I'm talking about! This is the sort of constructive criticism that's needed! Luckily for you, I haven't had time to start on the next chapter yet. I'll tell you what, I'm thinking of going back on the whole story to weave a combination of both of your ideas in, to give Ludwig a sense of paranoia that the shadow could be anywhere while he's trying to figure out who to write the next bar for the tenth.
This is something I can work off with.
7608148 Kinda, yeah.
The only really personal reason he seems to have is his nephew, an individual he hasn't seen for some time and doesn't have a good relationship with. Give Beethoven a bout of homesickness, that'll help a great deal. Have him talk about his home, the city, what he misses.
There are three specific things that just happened this chapter that suggest an escalation you don't seem to be actually gearing up for.
First, Twilight was rendered helpless, and compounding that you implied she didn't know how that could be done. It's generally better to allow a character a futile effort than to prevent them from acting. And with a character as intellectual and educated as Twilight, bringing out something she doesn't understand is extremely worrying.
Second, the shadow behaves in a manner patronizing to everyone present and puts itself on a pedestal above everything we have to compare it to. Frankly, that's usually when I downvote a fic and move on because it never ends well. Phrases like "your gods" and "higher power" are signs that you've created a character defined by power first and foremost, and that's just not interesting to read about.
Third, the history of thefts and especially the promise of more kidnappings places Beethoven's exile as just one more case of this entity acting against the interests of Equestria and her ponies. That can work if you want Twilight out of the story for a while, give her a problem to work on, but remember that you're giving a huge problem to the same mare that tried to disaster-proof Equestria on far less certain testimony of imminent danger. And that was before she had any royal authority to throw around.
Taken separately, these three points don't really mean much. Taken together, the third point demands a response from the protagonists, the first point escalates that to bringing in some of Equestria's heavy hitters, and the second point is going to require the rainbowiest rainbow of rainbowness that harmony has ever blasted down the throats of evil.
7608220 Again, along with your deleted comment and this one, I think I can see a way to weave these ideas you've given me. This is the kind of material I can work off of in which won't demand massive changes to the story as a whole. What you've given me is just the right direction for me to go off of.
For that, thank you for being civil, and given me proper constructive criticism. I'll begin work tomorrow.
7608220 So far, I've gone through chapters 1 through
1619. So I'm pretty much about a third way through. I've changed and added some details here and there given off the list you've given me, as well as correct some conditions too. Is this good so far?I liked the other version more just cause it introduced the princess and Fredric meeting the shadow and a possible sequel idea where Fredric was the next one to disappear