Hunt
Coronation
Hunt
It had been going so well too, everything had been perfect. Her children were safe, never to again to feel the pains of starvation. She would never have to watch them deteriorate, piece by piece as their bodies slowly began to digest her poor children from within. She had done it, won against a tyrant that had condemned her people to a slow, painful death. She had broken Celestia's power before all of her blighted, ignorant subjects.
It had all fallen apart so fast, one moment she, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, was standing victorious. The most important battle had been won, the war was already over, nothing to stand in her way. Then pain, death, that horrible choking feeling of drowning in a power that you couldn't control. Her army, her children, died so fast. Most didn’t even get a chance to scream before slamming into one of the many obstacles that cities provided for those unfortunate enough to be flung through them at high speeds. She considered them some of the luckier ones, most of her hive died a slow painful death as the energy overload burned out their nerves, leaving them numb, trapped in their own bodies as organ after organ shut down, choking on their blood as lungs failed and hearts spasmed.
Oh how she hated that purple pony. Twilight Sparkle, she was the catalyst of all of her suffering, of her children's pain. Twilight was the one who brought suspicion on her, who found the true Cadence, who freed her so she could power that thrice cursed Shining Armor’s barrier spell. Twilight who...
Chrysalis sighed, she couldn’t find it in her to hate the mare, not the real soul searing hate that she should bend toward the unicorn. Chrysalis was the invader, she had taken away Twilight's brother, broken her queen and was conquering her homeland. Chrysalis couldn’t imagine the little unicorn reacting any other way, when someone took from you what was yours you fought with all you had until it was yours again, or you were truly beaten. And Chrysalis was truly beaten. Doomed in fact.
Looking around her at the few dozen Changeling surrounding her, she took in their sorry state. Dying summed it up well. They had retreated to the caves that housed what passed for a spawning pool and the nutrient baths. She had established this temporary home so that the pupa could survive long enough for her to take Canterlot. Now it may well become her tomb. The pool was clear, lacking any energy for the new young, it had lost its pleasant green glow. The nutrient baths were little better, she had the few drones remaining feeding their dead into the shallow basins in a hope to reclaim some energy from them. It was macabre, but she would do anything, everything, she could in a effort to buy time. For her children, and for herself.
Shining Armor’s spell had been composed of almost pure love, the strongest, most potent emotion, and the changeling’s greatest source of sustenance. But like water, one could not drink an ocean of love, it simply flung you whatever way it was going and there was nothing you could do about it. Unfortunately, she didn’t drink love. Instead she absorbed it, converting it into power and sustenance. So much being forced into her was damaging.
Lethal in fact, not only to her, very few of her changeling survived the blast. Those that did were scattered across the Everfree Forest, tossed through the grassy plains or stranded far into the wasteland. Some she retained a connection to, but most were simply cut off, severed from the hive for the first time in their life. She held very little hope for their survival, even if the pain from the energy overload hadn’t shattered their minds.
But the hammer blow had been her own injuries. She was dying, she could feel her body slowly shutting down, and when it did that would be the end for her people. She was the last Queen of the Changeling, with her death the collective hive mind would be broken and no more children could be born.
That was what those ponies didn’t understand. They thought that they had the monopoly on love, that she was without compassion. But the truth could not have been further from it. She was every changeling’s mother, and like all mothers she loved all of her children without inhibition. They were all one will. A hive mind, a collective intellect. Terrifying and beautiful, they could feel each other, be each other, linked through her at all times. As individual parts of the whole they lived, fought, fed and died for the hive, for her. And Chrysalis could feel the deaths of her children, both in her heart, and as her mind reeled from the screaming agony as their bodies were destroyed. A part of her died with each of her children, even as they selflessly gave whatever energy they had left to her in their dying moments.
She had one last option open to her, one that was never intended to be used in this manner. She would have to take a pony and give her the privilege of becoming her successor. With or without their consent. Once connected to the hive, the new queen could not deny her children.
That pony would be the last hope, what little hope there was, the new queen would have no one to guide her. She would truly be alone in her duties and responsibility, with only the few strong wills left among her children to assist her. The new queen would have to find a food source, or somehow make peace with the tyrannical monster that ruled this deceptively inviting land. It was a death sentence to whomever she chose, with only a few exceptions. One in particular which appealed to her sense of justice, or at least to her taste for irony, was the very same mare that brought about her defeat would become her people’s savior. Or die with them.
They were fast, faster than anything that this pitiable forest could offer as contest, moving without a sound the five changeling Hunters sped through the Everfree forest canopy. Flitting from branch to branch they moved in perfect unison, the kind one could not achieve by simple training but could only be reached by sharing a collective mind, no matter how weak it was at the moment. They knew each other, they were each other, and nothing could match the speed of thought.
Completely focused on their task, they ignored the lesser denizens of the forest and avoided the more lethal ones altogether. They moved tirelessly, never slowing, never speaking a word as for hours that they powered on.
They had their orders and it would not do to keep the dying queen waiting, nor would they waste the precious energy they had been given. Energy that the hive did not have to spare. The energy would have meant life for many little brothers and sisters, and without it they would never see the dawn. But if this mission failed then none of them would be seeing many more dawns. The hunters were in agreement, something that normally eluded the most independent of the broods. They would succeed even if it meant each and every one of their lives. Anything less would be dishonoring their siblings sacrifice.
The sun was low over the horizon when they first spotted their destination. The tallest of its small buildings barely poking over the hills in the distance. As one they left the canopy, hitting the ground running they were surrounded by a brief flash of green flame leaving behind five, nondescript, earth ponies, all mottled browns and greys of slightly different shades.
Each new pony broke away from the group, each taking a different angle so that they could enter the town separately. After all it wouldn't be prudent to arrive all at once, and draw attention to themselves. Attention was the last thing that they needed. Though each was willing to die for the hive, they would also be needed very badly in their usual roles as hunters if the hive was to prosper under the new Queen.
One of the five took the long route, far out and around the town so that it could begin its search in the farms that dotted the plains and hills around the road to Canterlot. They knew some of what their target’s friends were, the Queen having to endure many hours of inane yammering from her prey about his little sister’s accomplishments, so they knew where she might be if not at her home. The Nexus, the nominal leader of their small link, would search for their target at her home. While the others were to search the likely places that she may frequent.
"Glow in town." The thoughts of one of his link mates, the only female in their group, was the only sound other than his hooves pounding on the grass. His breathing was even, his strides unfaltering, he took great pride in how well he had taken care of his body, even through the magical assault.
"You are." Sky's acknowledgment came quickly behind Glow’s message. The old hunter was their Nexus for this mission, a survivor of the migration under the former queen and having lived through the Canterlot invasion. He was perhaps the most experienced of any changeling alive. Save the Queen.
"Hope in town." The youngest in the link he was to search the markets to find the stores that the target's link owned.
"Life in town." Another, one who had been spared from the disastrous attack while hunting, would be attempting to find and gain entry to the clinic the yellow one was purported to own.
"Sky in town." The Nexus's broadcast left him as the last to reach his destination, not that his siblings were impatient with him. They knew that he had the farthest to go of all of them.
Seeing the fence of the first farm come into view the hunter slowed, though it would take longer, it would draw less attention if he was not running. Hopping the fence he sent a call out through the link. "Star in town." The acknowledgment from Sky was instantaneous, and once again Star felt nothing but admiration for the old hunter.
He didn't dominate the link, like many would given the position of Nexus, each of them could think their own thoughts and that was something that Sky was immensely grateful for. While situations sometimes called for absolute unison along the link, doing so relied completely on the Nexus to direct them. Star hated the feeling of being smothered under another will until he disappeared, becoming just another limb to the Nexus. It was different when it was the Queen at the Nexus, then, primal instinct compelled their obeisance.
Trotting down the rows of carrots Star re-reviewed what he knew about Sweet Apple Acres, the farm that his target's link mate owned, there were precious few details about it though. While the queen did have some interaction with the mare Applejack, owner of the farm, she didn't pay much mind to the pony. They were to be subjugated after all. What they did know was that the farm was owned and run by one Applejack and her brother of a unknown name. The brother was noted as being very strong but little else was known of him. It was also confirmed that a elder lived with them, as to what function she served was unknown. Nothing was known of the parents. Both working ponies were expected to possess a powerful buck, the memories from the many changelings that fought this Applejack were testament to this fact.
Reaching the top of a hill Star took a moment to gauge his surroundings. While not the tallest hill around, it was high enough to allow him to see the adjacent farms. Most consisted of well plowed fields lined with greens, it was only off the the north east that tree of some kind became prevalent. Setting off in what he guessed was the right direction Star paid little heed to the plants he trod over. Something that the farms owner paid a great deal of attention to.
"HEY! Who, what do you think you’re doing! Your trampling my crops you daft pony didn't your parents teach you any common courtesy." The yellow pony was trotting up the hill towards the disguised changeling. Agitation clearly written over her face. "Well what do you have to say for yourself?" The changeling was confused at what he had done that was so wrong, looking about himself he saw nothing but dirt and plants, certainty nothing of value. His confusion must of shown clearly on his borrowed face though.
The farmer gave a snort before trying again "Your not from around here are you, you come down from Canterlot or something?" She sized up the light brown stallion, noting his cutie mark was a compass and sextant she guessed he was a traveler or explorer, a very dense one. "Look my name’s Golden Harvest, but my friends all call me Carrot Top. I don't know how you do things where you come from but around here we don't go around wrecking other’s hard work. Now you trampled almost three bushels of carrots in your little jaunt around my fields, that's twenty-two bits worth, so you had better have a way to pay for them or I'm going to have a new helper around here for a few days."
"Plants-carrots food, exchange for bits-gold." Hope's thoughts echoed across the link, images of the market ponies selling plants much like the ones in the field he was in. Star cursed himself for his lack of insight, of course they ate these plants they were growing them, purposefully, on a farm. Looking back he saw that sure enough he had left a trail of destruction in his wake, paying no mind to the greenery he was trampling under foot. And why should he, what changeling would eat plants?
"Apologize ." The link went completely silent at the command.
"TO FOOD?" Star couldn't believe it, Sky wanted him to tell this pony that he, a hunter, was sorry for stomping some weeds.
"Yes."
"Why? Simple kill food." Star thought that it was obvious, just kill the stupid pony and move on. They were on a time limit after all, but Sky had other plans it seemed. Star felt the link pressing down on his mind, not hard but the message was clear, do as he was told or Sky would take his will and do it anyway.
"Repeat. I am sorry, I was lost in thought and not paying attention to where I was going." Star did as he was told and dutifully repeated Sky's words to the farmer.
Carrot Top let out a sigh. "Look I get that you didn't mean anything by it but I can’t just have every pony just stomping through my carrots every time they have something on their mind."
"I am looking for a farmer named Applejack can you tell me which way her farm is?" Star saw the pony’s brow raise at this, but he guessed that Sky wanted what info the yellow thing could provide.
"Ya I know where it is, we Carrots don't get along with the Apples to well. Are you one of her friends?"
"A business acquaintance, once I finish my business with her I will be able to pay you for the trouble I have caused you."
The farmer flicked her curly orange tail in agitation. "Fine, how about we both go pay Applejack a visit. That way you don't have to walk all the way back here."
"You don't trust me?" Star was a little taken back by the mares snort of derision, but he stuck to Sky's script. "Very well, can we get going?"
Allowing the mare to take the lead, Star let himself drift into the link, it was a little daunting listening to the many threads that Sky was managing. Hope had run into a problem as many of the stores were closing it seemed, having no experience with infiltration he was floundering in his attempts to find information on their targets whereabouts. Glow had somehow been roped into modeling for a dress by one of their targets link-mates and was doing her level best to turn the conversations toward topics of usefulness. Life was at his wits end as Ponyville seemed to have only one clinic and no yellow pegasus worked at it leaving him at a dead end. Through it all Sky was there, coaching, guiding, showing insight into this backwards culture that ponies had, all the while holding his own inquiries into the target’s whereabouts.
Star was brought out of his daze when this stupid pony tapped him on the nose. "Are you alright? You seem really out of it."
"Yes!" Star couldn't believe the insolence of these ponies, couldn't she tell that he was trying to concentrate. "Well why have we stopped?"
"We stopped because you were just standing there, and you sure could use some lessons in manners." The farmer's glare could peel paint, but he just gave his own right back. Queen's wings, he was not going to fold to some earth pony, and sure enough she was the first to break eye contact.
Giving her a self satisfied smirk, he turned to look at how far they had made it in the few moments he was not paying attention. Seeing that they were surrounded my apple trees gave him a good indicator of where they were. "Is this Sweet Apple Acres?"
"Well ya, I thought that you and Applejack were friends." She was giving him a strange look. "Don't tell me you have never been to her farm, I didn't think anypony could call themselves her friend if they never even visit her farm."
"Star at farm." Tuning out the yammering pony in from of him Star gave his update, letting the sights and, unfortunately, sounds of what he was experiencing flow back the link.
"Scars that one is a pest." Life's amusement laden thoughts drifted back to them. Star couldn't help but grin at this comment.
"HEY!" Star once again was startled by the yellow mares intrusion. Seeing that she had the disguised hunter's attention Carrot Top continued. "Look I don't know what you’re trying to pull but if you don't have the bits to pay for the damages just say so. I'm not going to make you do anything degrading, just some good old hard work to pay off the damages. How about we just head on back to my farm and I can get you someplace to sleep, we can get started in the morning."
"Kill?" Star didn't have any reason to need the pony now that she had led him to the farm. She would just be a hindrance now.
"No Incapacitate Alive." But it seemed that Sky still had his reasons not to kill. No matter, it would be simple to render this one unconscious.
Carrot Top took a step back at the sudden manic grin on the earth pony’s face. "Now hold on a minute, there's no need to get nasty."
A hoof slammed into her face. The blow was so fast she didn't even realize he had moved, the world spun around her and she felt a curious sense of weightlessness before slamming into something unyielding. The taste of copper folded her mouth on the wake of pain through her jaw. Carrot had never been in a fight and was completely unprepared to deal with the changeling's assault. Trying to get the spinning world to make sense she shook her head, feeling something thumping against her side she looked, seeing apples raining down around her. "I, I was bucked into an apple tree?"
The impact again came without warning, two hooves slammed down on her head. Stars burst in front of her eyes but her newfound pain was short lived as the hooves were brought down again. "He's going to kill me!" Adrenaline surged through her, the world still spinning she tried to get to her hooves, only to have them knocked out from under her. Before she could try again those horrible hooves smashed into her face once again, causing the world to grey out. Something was ringing and she could barely hear somepony crying over it, begging somepony to stop. She wanted to help whoever it was that was crying but she couldn't stand up for some reason.
"Stop... Please stop... I... I'm sorry... I..."
Star looked at the pile of sobbing pony in front of him with disgust. How did these pathetic ponies drive off any army, let alone one led by the Queen, drones or no they should have been able to crush such weakness with ease.
"Stop Wasting Time." Star straightened at Sky's voice. Was he wasting time? Looking back down at the bloody face of the pony he realized that yes, he was dragging this out. Bringing his hooves down on the back of the pony's head, hard, he watched her slump unmoving to the ground. Leaning in he checked its breathing, shallow but regular with no sounds of liquid. It would live.
Leaving his work behind Star made his way through the Apple Trees, ears cocked for the slightest sound of life. Wanting to avoid running into another pony like the last one, until he found the farmer that is. There. Voices, two of them, female, deciding that this was probably the owner of the farm or perhaps one of her workers Star let his guise of an earth pony drop. Glorying in his true form for a moment before leaping to the tree branches to get a closer look without exposing himself. Star jumped from branch to branch, using his Queen-given grace as a hunter he quickly closed on the two voices.
"Thank ya kindly fer helpen me out here Sugarcube." The first was indeed the farmer, the atrocious accent was exactly like the Queen’s memories.
"I'm just glad you were willing to let me help this time." Star halted at the voice, he made his body as still as possible so that nothing would mask the ponies words. He could feel the link quiet as they felt his anticipation, each listing through him.
"Naw, I learned my lesson last time I bit off more’n I could chew." Applejack's words were punctuated by the sound of hooves striking wood followed by the patter of apples falling to ground. "With us all up in Canterlot fer yer brothers wedden, Big Mac fell a might behind without me around ta help."
"You two amaze me Applejack, that you can work this whole farm by yourselves is nothing short of miraculous." There was no mistaking it, that was the voice of their target. Star didn't try to fight back the smile that appeared on his face.
"Target Found."
The response from the link was immediate, each one dropping what they were doing, leaving conversations mid sentence and in Glows case walking out with a half finished dress on. Much to a white unicorns displeasure. Star could feel each of them racing as quickly as they could, without drawing attention to themselves, towards his location. Finding a perch in a apple tree, just close enough that he could make out the targets movement through the trees, Star settled in to wait for the link to regroup.
"Ah shucks Twilight yer just sayin that."
"No, I really mean it. I read up on apple farming techniques." Twilight was interrupted, as Applejack expressed her opinion of learning farming from books. "Hey I learned a lot about farming from books. It's not funny!" The farm pony paid her companions protests no mind continuing to laugh.
"I'm sorry sugar, I know ya mean well, but no fancy books gonna tell ya’ll how to farm properly." She punctuated her sentiment with another heavy blow to a apple tree.
"Well how about a test?" Sounding her own, softer, blow to her tree.
"Ah test? Twi I ain’t good at test taken."
"That's OK you won't be taking it, you'll be giving it to me." Star blinked, she had sounded jubilant at the prospect of taking a test. Edging a little closer to the two mares Star tried to listen to what was going to be so entertaining about this test. "OK, so first question?"
"Who the hay are you!"
"Twilight Sparkle."
"What? NO! There's somepony up there in ma tree!" Star sucked in a breath, she was coming right toward him! "Come on now, you get down from there. Is that you Rainbow? What have I told ya bout sleepen in ma trees."
"No! No, not yet, SKY!" Where were the others? What should he do? He couldn't safely capture two of them without possibly permanently hurting his target, something that would doom his people just as soon as failing to capture her would.
"CHANGE! PEGASUS!" Sky's mental command was a sledgehammer to Star's mind, forcing him to begin changing before he even processed the command. Star shut his eyes concentrating on the form, praying that the flash would go unnoticed. His hearts sank at what his target said next.
"Applejack wait." At the farmers quizzical glance Twilight continued. "I just felt, well I mean, something’s not right here."
"Whada ya mean darlin?"
Instead of answering her friend Twilight cautiously approached the tree. "Come out, you’re trespassing on private property."
A light brown pegasus stallion dropped from the tree, landing lightly on his hooves he shot the two a glare. "Why did you have to wake me up, I was having a good nap."
"In ma tree? Look partner I don't let ma friends lollygag around in ma trees, and I sure as hay ain’t gonna let some stranger do it." The orange mare taking the lead again, trotting right up to the trespasser and poking a hoof in his chest to accent her point.
"Now there is no reason to get all upset, I am new here and didn't know that this was your tree." Twilight's brow furrowed at the stranger’s words. Something about them was off. Oh it was a valid excuse, but something seemed wrong about him. Looking at him closer Twilight could tell that he was well built, he obviously worked out, and his coat was unkempt, but then again he was just sleeping in a tree, and looking at his... oh no. Twilight had a sinking suspicion what was bothering her about this stallion and it had to do with the burst of magic that she had felt just before he came out.
"Where's your friend, you know we won’t bite, he can come out to." The new comer started at the comment and Applejack raised her eyebrow at the lavender mare.
Turning back to the intruder Applejack fixed him with a glare. "There two of you up there? I get ya looken fer a private place and all that but ma farm is not the place fer that."
"No, just me, definitely no one else around." The confusion on his face was quickly replaced by alarm though as the unicorn lowered her stance, eldritch power alighting her horn.
"Step away from him Applejack." Twilight's tone was hard.
Applejack turned back to her bookish friend, not understanding the danger she was trying to defuse what she thought was a needless fight before it got started. "What in tarnation are ya doin darlin, there ain’t no need to get yer magic out fer this, he's just a trespasser. We Apples know how ta deal with trespassers."
"That's not a pony."
"What?" Anything else the farmer might have said was lost as the pegasus, shrouded in green flame, lunged at the farmer.
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This is my first story and I hope you enjoy it. I will be updating as quickly as I can get new chapters in a good enough shape to post. I always welcome constructive criticism, but please remember that this is my first attempt at writing.
A huge thank you goes to my editor as without her this would not be half of what it is.
I think this should get a dark tag as well.
Good story though.
However, there are a few sentences which run on. Eg:
The hunters were in agreement, something that normally eluded the most independent of the broods, they would succeed even if it meant each and every one of their lives.
should be
The hunters were in agreement, something that normally eluded the most independent of the broods. They would succeed even if it meant each and every one of their lives.
This is a very interesting story, I can't wait for the next bit
I noticed a few minor errors which I won't go into, but I should mention one bit appears to have been cut off:
"The acknowledgment from Sky was instantaneous, and once again Star felt nothing but admiration for the old hunter.
link, doing so relied completely on the Nexus to direct them."
Though not a completely original story, Wanderer D released a similar premise with The Changeling Queen, it's a promising story. I'll be watching were are you taking it.
Also while I'm interested in seeing where the story is going, your comment on quick updating caught my attention, you may want to look for a proofreader/editor to look at your chapters before posting them, usually it's not a good idea to compromise quality over speed, it may cost you a few readers in the long run and it may end in a worse story. You are not a professional writer with a set deadline, take your time, enjoy your own work, and you'll probably end with a better story that if you try to rush it, otherwise it can stop being a hobby and may start to feel like an obligation, like a job, or homework if you are still studying.
will spike be in this ?
I like it so far and will eagerly await more chapters.
But you could use a proofreader. There's the occasional badly worded sentence, lots of missing punctuation (mostly commas), and that one paragraph that obviously has a chunk missing from it. I would suggest looking here for one. And please, quality over speed; quick updates mean nothing if they're riddled with errors.
Queen Chrysalis and her Changelings are dyin'?
Well, we all know what to do!
codblackopsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Black-Ops-Weapons-Flamethrower.jpg
Am liking the plot, keep at the good work.
980807
Thanks, fixed that. I have a tendency to make run on sentences, you should have seen it before editing.
Added a dark tag, I was on the fence but since my first reviewer, ever, told me it needed it, well there you go.
980853
Thank you, I have absolutely no idea how that happened.
Fixed it.
980923
I'm glad you liked it. Ya believe it or not this was sitting and waiting editing for about two weeks before he released that. When I saw his I was like
, now that's going to make my story look bad. He is a way better writer than me.
I wont rush it, but if I don't make myself push to work on it, I never will. I procrastinate really bad sometimes. I am shooting to have a chapter out once every week to two weeks. But I wont post until both myself and my editor are happy with it.
981587
If you imported from gDocs, I have heard it sometimes causes random bits of text to go missing.
980930 He will be, But I do not have plans for him to be a major character.
981625 And that would be it. Thanks I'll watch that closer next time.
Would you like a pre_reader? You have a lot of little typos (things like a letter moving to the left or right, or being left out entirely) If you want I can read over it for you and correct them.
Also, something I find helps is to read the chapter out loud to yourself. If you find yourself having issues reading it, edit it to flow better.
not bad
First reaction: "
This sounds ALOT like Wander D's Changeling Queen....."
....
AWESOMESAUCE."
Reaction after reading: "
....
...
An interesting beginning to the story. I'm looking forward to what you have in store for us in future chapters. There were a few punctuation errors and some sentences that could have been worded more clearly, but all in all they were fairly minor so good job.
The only other mistake I noticed is that the link for chapter two seems to be missing......
982268
Hmmm, I see what you mean. I'll see if I can't correct that here in the coming week. And thank you, it means a lot to me that people are liking this.
Yes! I love these kinds of stories! Awesome work, can't wait to see where this is going.
Very nice spin on the idea so far.
It'll be interesting to see how this is taken. Dark as hell at the beginning, but it's a nice way to introduce the desperation involved. I'm hoping that Twilight's conversion is less of a personality change and more of a shift in perspective, where she's not going to be attacking her friends and planning Celestia's downfall.
CON-TIN-UE CON-TIN-UE CON-TIN-UE
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
981635 oh that is kinda disappointing.
This sparks my intrest, really good writing, nice concept and Changeling converions are epic. Would love more.
983392
Yeah, I'm hoping for the same thing - that was something I didn't really like about The Changeling Queen. Twilight just seemed to have jumped into a changeling with glee, converting friends and family with abandon, without any inner conflict. Seeing her remain basically herself in her head, trying to get to grips with what has happened, and trying to deal with her friends, Celestia, and her family, with them knowing what she now is? Trying to make the best of a bad situation? That sounds a lot more interesting me.
981635 use this page on your gdoc and your fimfic chapter before you publish. http://wordcount2.com/ if both counts match you are not missing anything. its also handy to identify if you are abusing certain words.
nice work hope to read on
Interesting. Will watch.
As a note: earlier, you had Hope in the Boutique getting fitted, but then later on, Glow walked out in half a dress. Might need to check for consistency.
Like a fine meringue.
1021782 Nope its right, I had to go back and check it though.
An excellent start, and the hunters bit was nice writing.
*Taps foot impatiently*
This story caught me off guard... not sure what to expect honestly and it has my interest piqued to want to keep reading.'
A few errors here and there that need to be touched up but overall quite good.
Tracking and upvoted.
I like it and i really look forward to finding out how Twilight will (hopefully) reform the changling species.
Interesting! I'm glad I found this story! You planning on updating soon? I'm looking forward to seeing where you'll take it!
1074664
Yes, I am planing to have it up by this weekend. That is if life cooperates with me.
Oh, and Wanderer D commented on my story!
This makes my day, if not my week. I love your writing. I can only hope that I come within sight of the bar you set with The Changeling Queen.
1077281
Life didn't cooperate?
Here's hoping life starts to be more cooperative. It's a really interesting beginning and I really want to know what happens~
1242294
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1119875
I have not stopped, I like writing this story. But like I said life interfered and picking back up the pieces took time. That said I have been done with life for a while now and I am working as fast as I can on this chapter. It seems that I'm not that fast. BUT I am close to being done, not there but close. Then its off to my editor and then up for you guys. I will finish this story, no matter how long it takes.
1247542
Good to hear, but still take all the time you need. I look forwards for the next part.