The night nobody talks about...
THE NIGHT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT
Flix, I need to censor this; it will cause harm to ponies!” Celestia said in her most authoritative voice.
Flix however was becoming more and more enraged. “NO! Art is not meant to be censored or meant to be limited to the public. If you’re going to censor me…” His sclera started to turn yellow and his pupils started to glow red.
Luna decided to jump in, standing next to her sister as she tried to defuse the situation. “Flix! Flix! Calm down! My sister only means to do this to protect those that might be too weak to handle thy vision!” She started to light her horn up as well, getting ready to cast a defensive ward.
Celestia narrowed her eyes as her horn lit up to cast a spell, however Flix had already focused as well, and with a snap of his talons, he released his magic. Both Celestia and Luna stopped channeling magic and they sat down, looking blank for a few moments.
“Flix, what did you do?!” Orlonda screeched out fearfully.
Flix snarled as he clawed at the ground with his talons. “She censored me, so I uncensored her,” he growled as he started to walk out of the exhibit, leaving his showing there.
Orlonda looked toward the two sisters who then looked at each other and laughed. In a bright flash, both of the sisters disappeared in a dual flash and concussive waves. She pulled out Flix’s crystal comm from her pouch that she normally carried and she tapped it a few times, not really knowing how it works.
“Hello... testing one two three?”
It took a few minutes before anyone answered. She recognized Path’s. “Oh, hey Orlonda, I didn’t know we gave you a crystal comm, how are you? Is the art instillation going well?”
Orlonda started to laugh rather uneasily. “Oh well, it was for a while, then things turned south real quick….” She started to explain the situation and, unknown to her, Path was starting to grow pale as the details were unfurled.
“Okay… okay, okay – this is what we are going to do. Twilight and Rose just left to see Cadance and Shining in the Crystal Kingdom. They wanted a break from dealing with House and Princess stuff, so we are not going to call them. Free and I can handle it. We are the Heads of the House – surely this can’t be that bad.”
Orlonda blinked. “…two alicorns.”
“I am not going to have my wives fight my battles for me; that and the sooner I can deal with this, the easier I can bury it so Flix doesn’t get grounded for life. Meet Free and me at Donut Joes in ten minutes.” Path disconnected the call and the crystal stopped glowing. As he put it down, he yelled, “FREE!”
“What is it?” Free cawed back from the other room.
“We have to save the world again. Time to suit up!” Path stood up and walked into the living room.
“What?!” Free squawked.
# # #
This wasn’t what Leatherwing and Nox were expecting when they were called by Path to meet to discuss battle plans.
“Wait – so Flix has Discord powers, and he used them on the princesses?!” Leatherwing asked in a loud whisper.
“Well it’s more like he is his student, and then Celestia did something it really set him off, and Luna happened to be in the crossfire so it affected her too, and now here we are!” Orlonda said, her voice becoming more frantic as she spoke.
Free brought over a tray of donuts and milk for everyone. “Okay so first things first – how do we track them down? And what do we do once we track them down?”
“I could just knock them out.” Orlonda said simply.
All three of them stared at her for a few moments before Path spoke up. “Okay, I’ll bite. How would you do that?”
She smiled. “Well if you could get them calmed down enough, I could just put the bite on them. I can’t access emotions like the yellow hive – I’m not that good. But I can cause interference in the system and it will make them pass out for a few hours. It worked on Flix for a whole day when I was testing it out. That’s why he was able to pass Luna’s test anyways; twenty-five hours of sleep stretched out to feel like twenty-five days in the dreamscape.”
The rest of the group looked at Orlonda, then Nox grinned. “I like her – she’s peppy!”
Path just groaned. “Okay so now that we have a plan, how can we trac—” He was cut off as the entire diner shook. Then it shook again. It was in a very familiar pattern. He slowly looked over to the cups of milk as every few seconds ripples went through them.
Donut Joe hmmed slightly. “Huh! Normally it’s only that loud during the Winter Moon Festival.”
The group members looked at each other before bolting out the door. They saw ponies coming out and flooding the streets in the Downtown district of Canterlot, once they were outside they were able to hear the song as well as figure out the point of origin.
As they made their way to the club, Orlonda and Free shape-shifted, turning into what looked like black ponies with all sorts of chaotic, neon colored stripes adorning their bodies. Path struggled to talk to them over the crowd and the noise. “Do I want to know why?!”
Free yelled back. “It will help when we get in!”
To say that they got into the club would be an understatement. When they reached the club, they found it radically altered; the walls were translucent, and every few seconds a silhouette of the owner, Vinyl Scratch appeared, then it switched to what looked like a stylized Luna. It was then that they heard Vinyl yell in the royal Canterlot voice, with the assistance of Luna’s hoof over her throat to act as an amplifier, “I am Princess Scratch and this is Princess Night Beats! And we want you to FEEL THE MUSIC! FEEL The LOVE!” Both of their horns lit up as a multi-technicolored wave moved through the crowd, out the building and went a few blocks in every direction. The group could do nothing as they were hit by it as well.
Path stood up first. “What was tha– ooohhh my goddess...” His eyes went wide as he looked around. He did not have magic, so he did not realize that he had been hit with a low-duration high-intensity hypersensitivity spell as well as an inhibition-lowering spell. He started giggling.
Nox and Leatherwing looked at Path. “That...that can’t be good,” Leatherwing said.
Orlonda saw that Free had already shunted back into his griffoness form and was cawing and clawing at the colors. She turned back to the thestrals who didn’t exhibit any of Path and Free’s strange behavior. “Wait – why weren’t you affected?” she asked.
“Anti-magic armor, standard issue for Night Guard officers.” Nox spoke up.
“Why weren’t you affected?” Leatherwing asked.
Orlonda chuckled. “Oh, I was, but I can shunt away excess emotional stimuli. If this anything like the trick we use, it will only last about twenty minutes before it has to be recast unless it’s sustained continuously.” She shifted into a thestral. “Let’s go!”
The trio flew into the club. The floor was a mass of ponies and griffons, all of them dancing to the music or writhing with other club-goers. In the back of the club there was a literal wall of speakers. Between the two of them there was Vinyl Scratch covered in neon paint, a pair of glow-sticks taped to her horn, and on the other side was Luna… or rather it looked like Luna. It wasn’t until she shouted out “Thy rave shall last forever!” that they were certain. The entire club and those outside broke out in a cheer as the beat moved on.
The trio landed on the stage and the two D.J.s started laughing. Leatherwing tried talking to Luna first.
“Princess – you need to stop this! The crowds are doing so much more than just partying! This is almost like the time Free went unshielded into the Crystal Kingdom!”
Luna sneered. “Who art thou to even suggest that I stop partying! The Royal Rave shall go on forever!”
The thestrals gave each other a concerned look, now more worried than ever. Path had been the one who’d had a proper game-plan, and when he had succumbed, it had left the trio stumbling for an idea. It was Orlonda that took the initiative as she landed in front of the Princess. She had taken the form of the perfect idealized thestral mare, a fact that was not lost on either Luna or Vinyl.
“I, for one, welcome this rave. The bass moves through my body shaking my very existence.” She took a few steps closer with a sultry smile. “The highs and lows driving me wild, the hours become days, the days become weeks. I care not as time is irrelevant, and all I know is ecstasy.” She was now within a few inches of Luna.
The Princess grinned. “This one gets it! This one understands she shal–mmph!”
Orlonda had moved in and kissed the princess. It took only a few moments before Luna gave into the changeling’s advances. After what seemed like way too much time, Orlonda broke the kiss and nibbled down her neck. “Just a tribute… for Princess Night Beats.” Once she was low enough though, she sank her fangs down where she needed to, connecting to the chi paths. However, there was no way she could accommodate for how strong those paths in an alicorn were, and her fur and mane stood on end, mana sparks shooting between the tips for a few moments before Luna collapsed. Orlonda swayed back and collapsed. The two real thestrals swooped in. Nox grabbed Luna, and Leatherwing grabbed the smaller Orlonda, and the two then launched out of the club faster than anyone thought that they could.
They landed back next to Free and Path, but by this point the earth pony had the griffoness pinned and was biting and nibbling on her neck plumage making the griffoness croon and chirp. That was until Nox slammed his hoof down, getting their attention.
“Oh… hey guys… find Luna?” Path started to chuckle and moved off of Free who huffed in disappointment.
Leatherwing rolled his eyes and motioned to the rather obvious alicorn on Nox’s back. “Yes. Now let’s go back to your place before we figure out how to grab Princess Celestia, or even find her.”
“Why my place?” Path asked.
“Are you going to explain to the Royal Guards why we are carrying an unconscious Princess around?”
“Good point.”
Free opened her wings wide and picked up Path, and they headed back to Path’s parent’s home. There they dumped the unconscious alicorn on the couch. Nox announced that he was going to find something to secure Luna and left again. The others started to go over their next plan of action.
“I am pretty sure I know where she is, but you aren’t going to like it,” Path sighed.
“Where?” Leatherwing asked
“Late Night Mare Fights.” Path stated with a deadpan expression. “Think about it – you are an eons-old ruler, always tied down by rules, regulations, and decorum. Naturally you would want the exact opposite of that. Knowing something of Celestia’s background, that’s my best guess.”
“I really hope you’re wrong,” Leatherwing groaned.
Nox came back with rope and magic suppression rings. “Where did you get the rings?” Leatherwing asked.
“I flew down to a store where they sell these suppression rings for toddlers. I figure ten of these should do it.” He laughed a little nervously as he put all ten rings on the horn of the alicorn that he had sworn to protect. However, because they were not designed to go around a horn so big, they only covered the top half.
Leatherwing, meanwhile, was busy tying Luna up in an overly complicated knot pattern and then to the bed, back and forth until he ran out of rope. “Done!”
Path and Free looked at the alicorn who was by this point more rope than pony. “Well… it’s not like we can do any better. They looked over to Orlonda who was starting to wake back up.
“I do not want to do that again.” She rubbed her head, her form flickering a few times, but still she remained as a thestral. She blinked and focused even harder, and green fire formed at the base of her hooves but refused to travel up.
“Great,” the changeling groaned. “Getting the sun princess is all up to you two. I need to sleep this off and hope my own chi paths sort themselves out.” She went out to the living room and flopped into an easy chair.
Path and Free then said to the two thestrals, “Let’s get ready. We’ll head off in about five minutes.” Free, still in his griffoness form, whispered to Path who then looked back to the others. “Make that thirty minutes.”
The two thestrals face-hoofed as the pair went into the bedroom for a while. Until the spell wore off, they would just have to be patient.
Nox said to Leatherwing. “So, were you expecting today to go downhill like this?”
Leatherwing shrugged. “In my experience, things always get like this if there is booze, or Flix involved. So, how mad do you think Luna is going to be when she wakes up?”
Nox laughed. “Not as mad as Twilight and Rose when they learn about this.”
# # #
It was a known fact that mares outnumbered stallions by a large margin. It was one of the reasons why the society was based on a matriarchy, but this led to other interesting quirks that one would not see in other city states, things that the government was trying to keep low key. They could not get rid of it since it was one of the oldest traditions going back to the Three Tribes. It had been called many things over the years, but this time around it had a simple name – ‘Late Night Mare Fights’ – where the mares fought in unarmed combat. The strongest mares were able to get the strongest stallions. It was more of an underground feature now that changelings had entered the mix and were helping shift the apparent ratio to more of a 50/50 mix.
The large earth pony guarding the shady-looking iron door looked at the group with a raised eyebrow. “Two thestrals, an earth pony, and a prince want to go the mare fights? Why?”
The large thestral smiled. “Well, as you know, Lord Path has sired many foals, and he is looking to sire once more, but he only sires with the strongest. Prince Firetail, however, has only sired two, and he wants to sire again.”
The bouncer whistled. “This is going to be one hell of a fight. First we have a newcomer wiping the floor with everyone, and now two high-ticket stallions! Get in there and hold on.” The mare laughed and opened the door for them to go inside, and almost instantly they were hit with the scent of mares that were either in heat or about to go into it. The announcer was talking loudly over the public address system, trotting around the ring as two mares stared each other down from opposite corners.
“MARES, WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL TREAT TODAY!” A spotlight shined down on the mare as she spoke, interrupting the fight. “Our C- and B-Class tiers have not changed, but we are opening Special Class matches for all that qualify!”
“Oh, hell,” Leatherwing started to groan.
The light spiraled over to the group, showing off Nox, Free, and Path for the mares in the room. “We have Lord Path, Prince Firetail, and the Captain of the Night Guard! Nox will be the grand prize for the A-Class fights, and the pair will be divided up between the first and second place of the S-Class fights!”
The males waved rather awkwardly as they heard the mares talking and murmuring to themselves. That was of course until a white earth pony with a flat pink mane and crazed eyes let out a whinny that made everyone quiet down.
“That cake is MINE!” The large earth pony yelled as she walked over. Instead of saying anything, else she leaned over and bit Free on the ear which made him yelp. She grinned and walked back to the ring before the announcer could yell at her to break it up.
Path leaned over to say to Free, “Didn’t Twilight talk about how Celestia compared you to cake during the wedding?”
Free was far from his confident self, and was actually quite worried. “Uh-huh. Please tell me you have a plan, Path.”
The earth pony just laughed. “I’m working on it – give me a bit.”
The group watched as the mares fought. The A-Class fighters were up first, and while the fighting was intense, there were no serious lasting injuries. The ten matches were done in a little under two hours. After the last battle in which the smaller mare was able to take out the much faster one with a well-timed hoof to the side, the announcer called in Nox who raised an eyebrow as he walked over to the light-tan mare with white hair. Nox figured he would just go with it.
“So, what’s your name, miss….?” He asked, with a grin.
She was huffing and panting, “Cool Autumn.” She leaned over and lightly nipped his ear with a blush. “Mine?”
The thestral grinned widely. “Sure, why not?” The crowd cheered as the thestral picked up Cool Autumn and helped her out of the ring.
The Class S fights, however, were several magnitudes more intense. Path and Free were watching the fights as they happened. Once they found out that Celestia was posing as the mare ‘Hard Knocks’, it made the battles slightly more intimidating. She fought with no mercy, and all of her matches she had won due to knock-out. The earth pony mare had made eye contact with the alicorn-changeling each time she won.
“Please tell me you have a plan, Path!” Free was starting to get worried.
The last class S match was about to start, and Hard Knocks was in her corner glaring at the mare on the other side. After a few moments, the rival mare shook her head at the announcer and left the ring, too intimidated to take on the princess in disguise.
“The announcer walked into the ring and was about to call the match off and declare Hard Knocks the winner. However, she grabbed the mic from him and started yelling, “I will take on ANYONE that disputes my claim to Prince Firetail!”
Very few were expecting any other mares to challenge Hard Knocks, but nopony was expecting Path to enter the ring as a challenger. He took the mic. “I can’t just hoof him over to you. I need to make sure that you’re strong enough.”
The announcer blinked, her eyes wide as she moved back to the edge and counted down the seconds until the fight would start.
Now Path was hoping that since Celestia was posing as an earth pony, she would have only a third the strength, not thinking that she would be effectively three times as strong since everything was focused onto that one aspect of herself. He was not expecting her to move nearly that fast either, and he barely had enough time to get his hooves up to block the punch that sent him half way to the other side of the ring. He growled and shook his hooves.
“Sorry – I need to end this quick.” Path took a few deep breaths and launched himself at her, his hoof connecting with her face, square on her muzzle. Path had taken out queens, generals, and griffons with his hooves, which is why when he saw that he not only didn’t manage to make her move an inch, but he also saw her begin to smile, he only had one thing to say.
“Oh, buck…”
She pulled her hoof back and hit Path hard, sending him against the ropes on the other side of the ring. Then the fight started to get ugly. Path ran around her trying to get hits in, but Hard Knocks didn’t even need to block. Never had Path been so outclassed before. Hard Knocks was toying with him.
The pair squared off in the middle of the ring, hoof against hoof, as Path pushed with all of his might, trying to topple her over or push her back. She started laughing and took a step forward, easily pushing Path back as if he was a shopping kart.
“Free! FREE! Grab Leatherwing and get in here now!”
Path dived under the mare’s legs as she turned around. Despite all the attacks that he and the mares in the battles before him had landed on her, she still looked fresh. The announcer was beginning to stop the match as Leatherwing and Free jumped in, when there was a shattering sound of glass, and in a flash, the three stallions disappeared along with the mare, leaving a stunned crowd.
# # #
Orlonda was sipping tea, looking at the still unconscious Luna before all hell broke loose. The three males were in various grapple poses on a large female earth pony. However, it wasn’t so much that they were holding her down as much as they were trying to hold on as she bucked and thrashed around.
Path started screaming, “BITE HER! BITE HER! BITE HER!”
Leatherwing was thrown off, but he pushed off against the wall that he had been thrown at and grabbed the earth pony again. However he was immediately thrown upwards with enough force to be put through the ceiling.
“ANY DAY NOW, ORLONDA!” Free cried out.
Orlonda bared her fangs and looked for the right moment. She lunged forward and was able to latch onto the pony when she was distracted by the others. The interference was even worse than before, and just as Hard Knocks passed out, the changeling was slammed against the wall from the feedback caused by interacting with an alicorn’s chi paths.
Path galloped up to the attic and came back down with chains which they wrapped up the earth pony in much the same manner as Luna. When they were done, Path sighed and swore softly. “Buck! Well, at least we got her back.”
Free looked over at Path. “Okay, so now what’s the plan?”
Path took in a deep breath and yelled at the top of his lungs. “DISCOOORRRDDDDDD!”
The draconequus randomly appeared as if he was talking to somebody. “Rectum? I damn near killed him!” He looked around the seriously damaged room, then to the tied-down Luna and the chained-up Hard Knocks. “Huh! I was wondering when you were going to call me after Flix did what he did.”
The earth pony groaned. “How do you know about it so quickly?”
“Well, who do you think I was talking to?” Discord snapped his fingers as Orlonda disappeared in a white flash. “My student loves to have his sidekick around, you understand. Now, am I right to assume that you want me to undo this?”
“Please?” Path asked.
“No.” Discord grinned and crossed his arms. “For a chaos being such as myself, this is just too much. The amount of energy I have harvested today from what they caused almost dwarfs what my student produced when he caused this whole thing. What can you offer me in exchange?” He looked down at path.
“I’ll owe you one,” Path grumbled out.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t hear you. Can you say that a little louder?” Discord started to smile.
“If you revert them for me, I’ll owe you a favor that you can call in at any time in the future,” Path huffed.
“Oho! Lord Path owing me, a lowly professor, a favor! I will accept, under the condition that if I don’t collect before you expire, the debt passes on to the current head of House Path.” His grin widened.
Path had no real ground on which to debate him, so he stuck his hoof out and they shook. With his griffon hand, Discord snapped his fingers and Luna and Celestia reverted back to their original selves. Discord then snapped his claws a second time and Twilight and Roseclaw appeared next to him.
“Not going to let you get of Scott free though. You should explain what happened to your wives.” Discord disappeared with a laugh.
Twilight and Roseclaw stared aghast at the situation. Leatherwing was through a wall...again. Luna was tied up on the bed with suppression rings; Celestia was in chains; Free looked like he was put through hell; and Path was starting to show bruises and a black eye from the ‘fight’ with Celestia.
“What in Tartarus is going on?!” Twilight yelled.
Path just groaned. “Can I tell you once I’ve soaked in the tub for a while?”
# # #
The sun started to rise and Nox yawned. Looking over to his left at the mare that was curled up against him, he couldn’t help but chuckle. He gazed down at her and then at the mess of a bed they were resting in. “All things considered, not a bad turn of events,” he concluded with a grin.
# # # # # # # # # # # #
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I think the boys should have called in General Warfist to help take down Celestia/Hard Knocks. He might have stood a chance against her...
Oh, great story, by the way. :D I loved how both Princesses decided to let their inner selves out to play, so typical of how bad females get when their inhibitions are let loose. The solutions were also good and uncomplicated by over-telling the sequences. The pace was easy to read and I enjoyed reading every second of it.
i know one piece of art that needs censoring here, retired high school art teacher's piece on the way into town entitled 'Water Aplenty'.
)
nnimgt-a.akamaihd.net/transform/v1/crop/frm/silverstone-feed-data/01d558ed-51ac-48ab-b31d-9f1cb2d703c0.JPG/r0_0_3072_4614_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg
He hates black and white in his students art cause he says they aren't colours. Doesn't matter if you try to explain to him that they are a mix of all colours and they're just the extreme dark and light versions. Love to see someone do zebra stripes on it one night.
(sorry, ranty mood today.
The cake is a lie!
Well someone had to come away a winner.
Nox had it the best from the whole group
As amusing as the whole thing was, it could have gone so, so much worse. So, all things considered, that was a swift resolution.
But yeah, so much chaos! No wonder everyone was so mad at Flix after that. Then again, Celestia overreacted first, so it just escalated from there.
This story is hilarious.
I am so glad I went through the old stories I'd read already. I can't believe I missed this.