Villains United

by juststeph

Diamond Tiara's Story

“Look, your story was like, interesting or whatever.” Eyes turned to the little pink filly who’d spoken, but her eyes were on her hooves, examining her hooficure for chips. When she realized the others were staring at her, she glanced up and continued her thought. “I’m just saying, you were looking for food? That’s like, not evil.”

“And what evil have you faced?” a changeling asked. “You’re a child.”

“Hey, I was there when he—“ the pony pointed to the smirking draconequus, “—like, got out. Actually, it was the sisters of those like, Elements of Harmony ponies that did it. They’re soo annoying.”

“Sisters?” Nightmare Moon caught onto that one word. “I was unaware the Elements had family.”

“Well, duh, they have family,” the filly said. “I totally know, I go to school with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Can I tell my story now?”

“By all means,” invited the changeling queen. It seemed everyone in the room was very interested in hearing about the Elements’ families.

--

DIAMOND TIARA’S STORY

So like, the whole thing started when I got my cutie mark. I was with my best friend Silver Spoon, and we were shopping at the Carousel Boutique. The owner’s little sister is that little dork Sweetie Belle, but the clothes in the store are really cool and are sold all over Canterlot, so it’s like, okay, I guess.

I tried on a custom dress that my dad, rich businesspony Filthy Rich, had Rarity make just for me. And then I looked in the mirror and realized I looked just like a princess. Even Silver Spoon and Rarity said so. So I realized that because of Daddy, I like, am a princess. And then my cutie mark appeared! It’s so cool. Like, the most fantastic cutie mark ever. See?

Ugh. You’re all just jealous because you’re not ponies and you don’t get cutie marks.

So then in school, Miss Cheerilee was so obviously inspired by my cutie mark to start teaching about cutie marks. It was so boring. I mean, who cares how other ponies got their cutie marks? I already have mine!

Then I noticed that poor little Apple Bloom didn’t have her cutie mark yet. So I was laughing with Silver Spoon about that, but I wasn’t being like, mean. I even invited her and her loser friend to my cute-ceañera. It wasn’t like I could not invite her, ‘cause I totally wanted everypony in the class to be there.

Yeah, I mean everypony. What’s the point of being popular if nopony’s saying how awesome you are? Duh.

So I was walking around with Silver Spoon after school that day and heard Apple Bloom like, whining about not having her cutie mark. I mean, get over it, okay? No one cares. I mean, yeah, I guess it was kind of sad that her friend got her cutie mark before her, and like, I was sad when Silver Spoon got her cutie mark before me, but Apple Bloom is such a loser, she’s got like, bigger problems.

Still, I had to make a joke to Silver Spoon about that poor blank flank. I mean, it was funny!

But then I totally left Apple Bloom alone and went with Silver Spoon back to the Carousel Boutique to get my cute-ceañera dress. It was like, the best dress ever. Totally showed off my cutie mark. And then when we left, we had to pass by Apple Bloom like, again. And she like, whined about being a blank flank. Whatever.

But it was okay, because my party was starting soon. I just had to change into my dress and then head over to Sugarcube Corner. I took extra care putting my dress on because it was like, so amazing.

My party was like, not as cool as it should have been. First Snails took the first bite of my cake, and then Pokey popped all the balloons! Apple Bloom did show up after all, though. I really thought she like, wouldn’t. But she was wearing a tablecloth to cover up her blank flank—what a loser!

She started saying how, like, her cutie mark was there and it was like, sooo amazing and sooo special and that she just couldn’t show it off because, like…I forget why. But I played along with her anyway because like, it was a party. I’m not like, that mean.

But then she tripped on her tablecloth and pulled it off. She had no cutie mark! So like, I had to laugh at her, because it was like, so pathetic she would try that! And then these two other blank flanks stood up for her because losers stick together or something. At least Silver Spoon was still on my side.

And then Miss Twilight Sparkle took the losers’ side, so all my friends did too. It was like, so humiliating! My party was ruined! I’m never going to forgive those blank flanks for it!

--

“I thought this story might be about me,” the draconequus remarked. His tone was more bored than annoyed. “You did mention my release, after all.”

“Well, isn’t that, like, your story?” Diamond Tiara asked.

The draconequus just shrugged, the action releasing bright sparks from his upturned claw and paw. Diamond Tiara wrinkled her nose at him and said, “You’re weird.”

“Don’t you have any more to say about the sisters of the Elements?” the changeling queen asked.

The filly rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, they’re like, always looking for their cutie marks. Such a waste of time, they’ll totally be blank flanks like, forever.”

“Interesting,” the changeling remarked, a smile spreading across her face. “Thank you so much for that story.”

Comments

[jamezwiki]

First

[Inferno demon Dash]

Ahhhh....shit. I don't like that smile Nightmare has, oh wait....what am I talking about? I love that smile, I root for the villians not against them. Ha, Discord, he's awesome, can I kill Diamond Tiara now?