Alex Weaver’s day couldn’t have been worse; an uncomfortable call from his mother, a surprise visit at work from his ex-girlfriend, and a trillion-dollar device exploding in his lab, transporting him to some frozen wasteland. Damn Mondays.
Cliffhanging little *seventeen lines of expletives redacted*! WHY MUST THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME GOOD THINGS ONLY TO TAKE THEM AWAY!? IMMA smack the heck outa that like button and then favorite!
Now that my rage has subsided: Well done. So far, this story is excellent, easily on the level of novels. Continue and the dark lord will be most please, more than enough to appoint you chief librarian in my future Pan-Global quasi-republic.
To an avid reader. There are stories that draw worlds in hundred words. This one is not one of them. In 16000 words it barely managed to repeat its description.
7414619 Technically, it hasn't even done that yet. I like reading stories that take their time, so I'm writing one that takes its time. There is still much to be explored, and things need to be set up before-hand.
Alex had better hope that this world has an equivalent to the Geneva Convention, the way he's probably going to suffer next chapter. Interesting juxtaposition, using Twilight's point of view for the whole chapter so we're wondering what has happened to Alex until the end.
I'm always mildly amused at how pony-centric ponies in stories seem to be.
“As in… extra-Equan aliens?
Yes Twilight, as opposed to extra-canine, extra-bovine, extra-griffonian, extra-feline, or all those other sapient species that exist in your world.
7417326 And I don't imagine that plasma gun would work at all. Plasma dissipate very quick in the atmosphere...Military has kinda stopped researching into plasma weapon tech. If it does work. It is also more likely to burn the arms and probably the whole body of its user and whatever targets he/she was aiming at along with everyone standing near the path of the "plasma projectile" through the sheer heat said projectile was emitting.
7417926 Warp technology is the way to go. But, scientists over NASA said that we would require a few more level of tech jumps to be able to provide energy for such a thing. They are actually researching into this.
7417816 As Gene Roddenberry was apt to say: "the discovery of faster-than-light travel won't be found by anyone who thinks it's impossible." Likewise, making a viable plasma gun won't be developed by someone who gives up on the technology.
7626322 Ahhhh...perhaps not practical, yet.... But think of the implications it would hold if it were perfected: Phasers ala Star Trek, or Blasters ala Star Wars. Clearly, viable military implications there...
As I just got through saying:
won't be developed by someone who gives up on the technology
Obviously, for the background of this story, someone managed to figure out the solution. But that's not where the story is focused upon. The matter at hand is how are the princesses going to deal with Alex, as well as how will Alex deal with the implications that he was just the very idiot that his own world-view warned him against.
7626370 That maybe so. But as of this moment, it is viewed as too impractical, and if that tech was perfected, the same effect such weapons can created can be achieved by other much simpler weapons that take less effort to create, to train troops for, to maintain. The military is looking at coilgun and railgun tech, however. Because to them, you can deal much more damage with less effort using kinetic energy weapons than using direct energy weapons. Also...Any real plasma weapons wouldn't work the same way as in games and movies. The best we can get with them that still remain practical is a plasma flamethrower like in starcraft.
And with this chapter I'm out. I really enjoyed the first one. It set things up wonderfully, connected me to the characters, and was perfectly paced. But these last two have just killed it for me.
As others pointed out in chapter 2, it dragged, badly, and this chapter did the same thing. Even if all of the details you put in are somehow relevant later on, there was nothing that made me, as the reader, actually care about any of it. I skimmed almost all of these past two chapters because I kept losing interest in what was happening.
Combine that with the flawed logic that went into a lot of the stuff on earth, the flawed logic in the ponies' reactions to what's happening, the fact that chapter 2 completely destroyed any sympathy or connection I had to Alex, and the fact that everyone in chapter 3 seems so wildly out of character for what we've seen from ponies in canon and I just don't have any suspension of disbelief left for this.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/490/215/cd6.jpg
An excellent chapter. Grabbed me and dragged me right down the page.
Simply cannot wait to read more!
Cliffhanging little *seventeen lines of expletives redacted*! WHY MUST THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME GOOD THINGS ONLY TO TAKE THEM AWAY!? IMMA smack the heck outa that like button and then favorite!
Now that my rage has subsided: Well done. So far, this story is excellent, easily on the level of novels. Continue and the dark lord will be most please, more than enough to appoint you chief librarian in my future Pan-Global quasi-republic.
7414305
This is how I pictured Straight Edge, the ancient aliens guy.
images.wikia.com/nonsensopedia/images/1/1b/96398_-_Giorgio_Tsoukalos_hand_heartstrings_human_behavior_Lyra_meme.jpg
7414525 Perfect
7414305
I'm not saying it was humans....
But was humans
To an avid reader. There are stories that draw worlds in hundred words. This one is not one of them. In 16000 words it barely managed to repeat its description.
7414619
Technically, it hasn't even done that yet. I like reading stories that take their time, so I'm writing one that takes its time. There is still much to be explored, and things need to be set up before-hand.
Twillight and Cadance will be out for blood now, they better keep our dear human far away until they have had time to cool down.
7416335
Guess again.
7416395
Silly me, forgetting to invoke the subject.
Alex had better hope that this world has an equivalent to the Geneva Convention, the way he's probably going to suffer next chapter. Interesting juxtaposition, using Twilight's point of view for the whole chapter so we're wondering what has happened to Alex until the end.
I'm always mildly amused at how pony-centric ponies in stories seem to be.
Yes Twilight, as opposed to extra-canine, extra-bovine, extra-griffonian, extra-feline, or all those other sapient species that exist in your world.
7417301
Additionally, I don't imagine a plasma gun would make much of a bang. But luckily, they do double as flare guns.
7417301 A scientist that knows gun safety for an extremely powerful weapon, yes.
7417326 And I don't imagine that plasma gun would work at all.
Plasma dissipate very quick in the atmosphere...Military has kinda stopped researching into plasma weapon tech.
If it does work. It is also more likely to burn the arms and probably the whole body of its user and whatever targets he/she was aiming at along with everyone standing near the path of the "plasma projectile" through the sheer heat said projectile was emitting.
7417816
Can't wait to hear what you have to say about the FTL ships...
7417926 Warp technology is the way to go. But, scientists over NASA said that we would require a few more level of tech jumps to be able to provide energy for such a thing. They are actually researching into this.
Missing a word here.
They're preparing to probe him!
With a language barrier, I wonder how they're gonna treat him if they find out that he was the one who hurt Shining...
7416335
Yeah, the attacker could have been any other bipedal
Adding this to my tracking and read later folders until there is more of it.
7417816 As Gene Roddenberry was apt to say: "the discovery of faster-than-light travel won't be found by anyone who thinks it's impossible."
Likewise, making a viable plasma gun won't be developed by someone who gives up on the technology.
7626272 The thing is, it is not PRACTICAL. And military require practical battlefield applications.
7626322 Ahhhh...perhaps not practical, yet....
But think of the implications it would hold if it were perfected: Phasers ala Star Trek, or Blasters ala Star Wars. Clearly, viable military implications there...
As I just got through saying:
Obviously, for the background of this story, someone managed to figure out the solution. But that's not where the story is focused upon.
The matter at hand is how are the princesses going to deal with Alex, as well as how will Alex deal with the implications that he was just the very idiot that his own world-view warned him against.
7626370 That maybe so. But as of this moment, it is viewed as too impractical, and if that tech was perfected, the same effect such weapons can created can be achieved by other much simpler weapons that take less effort to create, to train troops for, to maintain. The military is looking at coilgun and railgun tech, however. Because to them, you can deal much more damage with less effort using kinetic energy weapons than using direct energy weapons. Also...Any real plasma weapons wouldn't work the same way as in games and movies. The best we can get with them that still remain practical is a plasma flamethrower like in starcraft.
http://cdn4.miragestudio7.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/ancient-aliens-guy.jpg
And with this chapter I'm out. I really enjoyed the first one. It set things up wonderfully, connected me to the characters, and was perfectly paced. But these last two have just killed it for me.
As others pointed out in chapter 2, it dragged, badly, and this chapter did the same thing. Even if all of the details you put in are somehow relevant later on, there was nothing that made me, as the reader, actually care about any of it. I skimmed almost all of these past two chapters because I kept losing interest in what was happening.
Combine that with the flawed logic that went into a lot of the stuff on earth, the flawed logic in the ponies' reactions to what's happening, the fact that chapter 2 completely destroyed any sympathy or connection I had to Alex, and the fact that everyone in chapter 3 seems so wildly out of character for what we've seen from ponies in canon and I just don't have any suspension of disbelief left for this.