Throughout the empty sea, the death of silence reigned supreme. No one splashed about, no wave crashed, and no Pokemon sang its name. And into this endlessly soul-crushing expanse stared a young man: a trainer clad solely in green. His eyes having long glazed over from the nothingness, he fell backwards, landing on the Pokemon carrying him – a large, blue and serpentine-like dragon creature: a Gyarados by any other name. His expression as placid as the ocean around him, the trainer dipped his hand into the water, allowing the waves to caress over his skin.
“Ugh,” he groaned. “Mind. Numb. Why is it that the one time that we actually want to find aggressive trainers out here – the one time! – we don’t find any, huh? Ten bucks says that if we didn’t want a fight, we’d be swarming with psycho swimmers in speedos.” Though his comments were technically directed to the Gyarados on which he rode, the massive beast didn’t even acknowledge his master was speaking.
Making a sound that was half a gurgle and half a groaned, the trainer slide a hand into a pocket, pulling out a small, vaguely rectangular red device: his Pokedex. Tapping a series of buttons, he booted up a recent audio log. Clearing his throat, he brought his device close enough so it could hear him speak.
“June 23. Weather: sunny
Decided to go to Cinnabar island. Heard there’s a building with info on a legendary Pokemon. Considering that I‘m the best trainer in the world, I’ve practically gotta catch it! Wonder if it’ll be awesome enough for my team!”
The trainer closed his Pokedex, the device offering him no more entertainment. “Well, that’s all I think of doing.” A pause. “Why are these Kanto routes so long?” he groaned, stomping a foot on his Pokemon's back. The Gyarados raised its head from the water, angling his eyes to his master and shooting him a glare.
“What?” He sighed. “No, no it’s nothing... What...? Stop looking at me... And for the love of God, Mr. Fish, close your mouth! It’s creepy! How many times do I gotta tell you this, huh?” With a grunt, the Gyarados, or Mr. Fish, closed his mouth.
Glancing about, the trainer’s eye was drawn to an anomaly in the water: a whirlpool, the only thing moving on the calm sea. “Mr. Fish, wait up!” Mr. Fish, his head under the water, failed to acknowledge his trainer. “Hey!” The trainer kicked his foot down as hard as he could on Mr. Fish’s back.
Mr. Fish pulled his head out the water, turning his attention to his master, who pointed to the whirlpool. “Lookie look!” Mr. Fish blinked, then turned his head to the focus of his trainer’s attention. “Ten bucks says there something cool in there!” He frowned. “Course, it could be another tentacool – little bastards have overrun this route. Stupid spawning season.” He shook his head. “Mr. Fish! To the whirlpool!”
The Gyarados twisted his serpentine body, snaking through the water and towards the whirlpool. Now well within range of the anomaly, the trainer got himself a much better view of the swirling mass of white waters. Squinting, he swore he could make out something other than water moving about at the bottom of the whirlpool.
“Okay,” the trainer sighed. “Whatever it is, I don’t recognize it from this angle... Hmm... Let's force it out! Mr. Fish, use... Wait.” Slowly, the whirlpool began to peter out of its own accord, yet its silence seemed to suck everything else into the penumbra of quiet.
“Aww, dammit. It’s gone.” Without warning, the vortex exploded back into vitality, the vigorous pool approaching the size of a suburban sedan. Eyes wide and body possessed by the imperceptible trepidations of excitement, he watched as a shape emerged from the water. Then he smile turned into a perturbed grimace.
The “Pokemon” was like nothing he had ever seen before. It didn’t even have a proper body, at least not by human standards. It vaguely resembled a backwards “L” shape, and it was entirely box-like in nature; but its body, if indeed one could call it that, was a swirling mass of blinking and warping particles, each of which was a different shade of black or white and without any sense of pattern or logic.
A single awed breath escaped the trainer’s lips as a chill ran down his spine. With a subtle smile, he pulled out his Pokedex. “What kinda Pokemon are you?” The Pokedex’s screen was utterly blank. “Huh. You know, in hindsight, I totally should have seen this coming. Honestly, what did I expect from a man whose first question to me was: ‘Are you a boy or a girl’? The old geezer apparently thought my hair was too long and logically spiky... And that’s why I always ask for a ‘five’ when I get a haircut now, and why I no longer use hairgel...”
The trainer put on a nonplussed expression. “So either you’re a new, undiscovered species of Pokemon... or that creepy old man gave me this broken device, which would explain why it was free.” He put a hand to his chin. “Screw it! We’re rolling with undiscovered species! Mr. Fish, do you know what this means?”
Mr. Fish, his mouth closed and expression utterly blank, angled his head to his trainer. “That's right! If we catch it, we’ll be, like, famous! They’ll remember me as one of the few people in the modern age to have discovered a new species of Pokemon!” He clasped his hands to his cheeks, his eyes filling with stars. “What if it’s a legendary Pokemon‽ What if we’re the first to discover it, a-and then it turns out to be a legendary Pokemon‽ We’d be so very famous that... words fails to describe! World famous! Universe famous! Years from now, people will tell their grandchildren of how they were once in the same room as me!”
Without warning, the unknown Pokemon emitted a high pitched wail not unlike a broken radio through a megaphone. The trainer clasped his hands to the ears, gritting his teeth as the sound passed through him. His eardrums began to vibrate, stinging in the trainer’s ear as the white noise continued. Mr. Fish, too, shut his eyes as he struggled not to thrash about in the water.
It stopped. Opening his eyes, the trainer saw that the Pokemon was still there. Then it emitted that same static sound again, though it didn’t hurt him this time, just made his stomach contents writhe.
“What kinda sound is that...?” he mumbled, listening to the Pokemon. “What a strange cry...” He smirked. “All the better reason to assume you’re a legendary Pokemon!” He took a breath. “Okay, Mr. Fish, hit it with a hyperbeam!”
Mr. Fish raised his head high into the air as he opened his mouth. In the blink of an eye, an orange ball of energy came to life in Mr. Fish’s mouth. The other Pokemon didn’t even react. Just as quickly as the ball had appeared, it condensed into a solid beam which then barreled at the unknown Pokemon.
Colliding with the odd Pokemon, the hyper beam scattered the thing’s particles to the fourth corners, the Pokemon turning into an amorphous cloud of particles. Mr. Fish’s attack ended, subsequently killing the beam. Without so much as missing a beat, the cloud reformed into that blocky, backwards L shape.
“I, uh, don’t think that did what I wanted it to,” the trainer muttered, his heart hastening its tempo. The pokemon began to convulse and pulse like a man possessed; its particles began to swirling about like a cloud of razors, itself losing any pretext of having shape or form. “This... could be bad.” He blew a puff of air out of his mouth. “Whatever! Mr. Fish is strong enough to withstand any attack!”
Rather than attack, the cloud erupted into series of shrieks: high pitch, low pitch, random white noise, nails on a chalkboard, animalistic shrieks – everything. The trainer fell to his knees, screaming and clutching at his ears.
Then, like a raging storm, the thing exploded at the trainer, reaching him in well within the blink of an eye. It swarmed around him and Mr. Fish, causing the Gyarados to howl in agony. Nearly vomited out his entire stomach, the trainer grabbed a Pokeball, shouting, “Mr. Fish, return!” A transparent beam of red shot forth from the ball, atomizing Mr. Fish and sending him into the null space of the Pokeball.
Without the platform of Mr. Fish to stand on, the trainer fell into the water. Flailing his arms, he tried to swim, only to find his body refusing to move in any direction but down. The light of the sun gave way to the dimness of water. Water utterly consumed his world: it assaulted his ears, the salt gouged his eyes, and the water ran up his nose. Choking for breath against his own will, his lungs found only the cold sting of the water.
Light fading from his vision, though because of unconscious rather than depth, he nearly didn’t see the swarm of particles forming a bubble around him. And, as the water filled his lungs, he certainly didn’t see his flesh peeling away into little particles.
***
“Hey, Twilight!” Spike yelled, running down the wooden staircase. “I got it!” Reaching the end of the stairs, he came across Twilight Sparkle, the lady who doubled as his mistress and has practically raised him. With book in claw, he handed it to Twilight. Spike glanced at his purple, scaly arm. “You have no idea just how hard that was find, or how heavy. This darn thing’s almost as big as me.” He ran a hand through his green frills. “But who’s your number one assistant and all around best dragon ever, huh?”
“Thanks, Spike!” Twilight chuckled, patting a forehoof on his head. Spike, the dragon, smiled at her. “And to think that I’d thought we’d lost it.” Chuckling, she shook her head. “Thank goodness that you found the ‘Encyclopedia Botancia’. Where would I be without it?” Her horn light up like a holiday morning, the field of magic around it then enrapturing the book in Spike’s hands. She promptly put the decidedly heavy tome into her saddlebag.
“You’d be wandering Froggy Bottom Bog without a clue, that's what,” Spike replied.
Pulling up a huge ivory scroll, Twilight nickered. “Yeah... yeah, probably.” She brought up a pen to the scroll. “Let’s see... Find ‘Encyclopedia Botancia’ – check!” Twilight marked off a small box. “Looks like I’m all set.” She adjusted the pair of goggles she had, which were resting upon her forehead but jsut belwo her horn.
Spike shrugged, sauntering off to the kitchen. “I still don’t see why you’d want something called a ‘neversleep potion’. Seems kinda... Well, I’m just gonna say it – it sounds dumb.”
“Because, Spike, if Zecora’s right, which I have no reason to doubt, then we could create a revolutionary new product that will replace caffeine.... And because I might need to write a report soon... and sleeping kinda doesn't help.”
The dragon stopped walking, spun around and stared at Twilight. “So, to sum it up: we’re out of coffee.”
Twilight chuckled. “I’d be lying if I disagreed with that. But you know the conditions over in the tropic, and subsequently why the price of coffee and chocolate is rising.”
Spike’s stared didn’t once let up. “And since when has money ever been a problem? Don’t you, like, get an allowance from Celestia or something...” He put a claw to his chin. “Come to think of it, I don’t know where our money comes from. Does the city pay you for being the librarian, ‘cause I’ve never once seen somepony walking in here and checking something out. And it’s not a big building either; I can walk across it in a few minutes at least. And how the hay does a librarian afford so many giant checklists and pens? It baffles me! I mean, for all I know, you rob trains while I’m asleep to get this kinda cash!”
Twilight put her face in her forehooves, laughing, “What?”
Spike cupped his hands around his mouth, yelling in a hoarse, fake tone, “Twilight Sparkle AKA the Sundance Filly AKA the Lavender-Coated Menace AKA that Innocent Librarian is wanted for train robbery!” He set his hands down, smiling at Twilight.
Struggling not to laugh, Twilight growled, “Curses! How’d ya catch me, lawpony?”
Spike nickered. “Aw, get out of here, Twi’. I know you’ve got stuff to do.”
“Will do,” she chirped. “I’ll be home in no times” A pause. “How else am I gonna find time to rob those trains?” Twilight giggled.
***
“Sons of whores, daughters of... ugh,” the trainer groaned. Opening his eyes, he found himself lying on cool grass beneath a tree. “I swear to God, if that Pokemon used roofies on me...”
He sat up, propping his back up against the tree now behind him, the trainer set his eyes on the swamp before him. “Kay. Unless Cinnabar Island turned into Louisiana, I have no idea where I am.” Running a hand over his jaw, he tried to recall anything past blanking out, coming up empty-handed.
“Great,” he growled. “Note to self: no more Pokebeer. It does... this... No, wait, that was a dream. There’s no such thing as Pokebeer... Worst dream ever.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his Pokedex. Pressing a memorized series of buttons, he brought up the device’s GPS. “Area unknown,” he read aloud. The trainer blew a puff of air out of his mouth. “Starting to think that you’re broken,” he said in a dry tone.
Glancing around, he saw nothing save for trees, a swamp, and shrubs. “Wonder if I could get my Pokemon to fly me out...” He smirked. “Or perhaps.” Putting a hand to his belt, he counted his Pokeballs. “Three ultra balls,” he muttered, “one net ball, four great balls, a luxury ball, and seven standards.” He licked his lips as he stood up. “Wonder if there are any cool Pokemon here... in this swamp... or these trees?”
His hand found itself grasping a particular Pokeball: a pink heal ball. Flicking his wrist, he set the ball free as he said, “Flower Dancer, I chose you.” Hitting the ground, the Pokeball’s interior exploded outwards as a firework of pink – which released a small green creature with two flowers on each side of its head: a female Bellossom.
Tapping a finger to his left temple, he said, “You know, Flower, some trainers think the move ‘Sweet Scent’ is useless.” He smiled, shaking his head. “And perhaps it is... inside of battle. Outside battle, however, is a different... animal... What are you doing?” Flower Dancer had wandered, now swelling a patch of flowers. “What is it with you and flowers? I’m trying to do an apostrophe here.”
The trainer frowned. “Wait, can you do an apostrophe to a Pokemon? I mean, they can hear and understand you, just not talk back.” He shook his head. “Nevermind that. Flower Dancer, cut it out. Stop sniffing those flowers.” Herself frowning, Flower Dancer spun around to face her trainer. “Now... use Sweet Scent!
Giggling, Flower Dancer spun around like a ballerina, her head flowers releasing a ludicrously sugary scent. The trainer grinned at himself. “We are so gonna get something cool.”
***
“Really? Just one left?” Twilight groaned. “And, of course,” she chuckled, “you had to be in the farthest, darkest reaches of the bog.” Hopping across the swamps rocks in an effort to stay out of the muck, she continued to mumble, “And now you’re talking to yourself, Twilight. Well, if anypony asks, you’re practicing your soliloquies.”
She grunted as she nearly slipped off a rock. With a final leap, she landed on dry ground. “Okay, so Zecora said it was on this little patch of forest, correct? Of course she did. And it had to be on an island with trees in the middle of the bog.”
“And the flower can be traced by its aroma, which are imbued in its stroma,” she mocked, quoting Zecora’s earlier line. Taking a breath, she caught a particular scent. It was a powerful, sugary aroma that tickled her sinuses just right, stimulating an almost primal urge to follow it like rats to the Pied Piper. “Well, that’d be my best guess…” she mumbled, her legs walking towards the scent as if by their own will.
Legs practically tripping over themselves, Twilight found herself trotting through bushes and dense underbrush. Still following the scent, she came across a small clearing in the small patch of forest. Bounding into the small clearing, she came face to face with an animal she was utterly unfamiliar with.
The animal was about her height, and it looked like a flower given life: the Bellossom. Twilight stared at the thing, her own eyes utterly uncomprehending. Then she smiled at the thing, and that’s when she saw the other thing in the clearing: a gigantic yet slender-framed hominid, easily over twice her height. With his pale skin and green outfit, he looked positively silly; like somepony had taken a chimpanzee, shaved it, made it taller, and then put it in a wacky outfit. Then there was the strange, red-top and white-bottom ball in his right hand, and the almost evil grin on his face.
Twilight froze, her eyes going wide at the tall creature’s toothy grin and saw its maw was filled with sharp, white teeth. She tried to speak, but all the came came out was a high-pitched squeak.
“Aww, that’s such a cute sound!” the hominid squeed. “Hey, Flower Dancer, do you see how adorable it is? It even comes with saddlebags and goggles! Reminds me of a Delibird.” He put a hand into a pocket, wrapping his five spidery fingers around a small red rectangular device. “Aaaaaand it’s blank. What a surprise,” he grumbled, putting back into his pocket. “Seriously, that creepy old man just gives random shit to passing children, I swear. Eh, I’ll just catch it anyways. It looks cool. Flower, focus up!”
Flower Dancer completely switched her stance, becoming ready for combat and action. Gone was her cute smile and twirls, replaced by a stern stare and a readied stance.
“What are...” Twilight tried, her tone barely above a mutter.
“Petal Dance!” the hominid shouted. Flower Dancer lunged at Twilight, twirling like a spinning top, creating a swirl of pink flower petals from seemingly nowhere. The swirl whipped into Twilight, nearly giving her whiplash as it physically forced her backwards. Coming again at her, Twilight threw herself to the left, ending up on the ground and rolling.
The trainer whistled. “Quick little devil, aren’t you?”
The flowery tornado jerked left, spinning at Twilight, whose horn lit up, flashing her out of the way. She reappeared behind the Bellossom. Try though she did to reason with either other being, her words were killed in their inception as the Bellossom’s change in directions, forcing Twilight to teleport out of harm's way once more.
Without warning, the tornado of petals stopped, but Flower Dancer continued to spin. Trying to take a single step forwards, Flower Dancer fell to the ground. “Goddamn confusion,” the trainer grumbled, pulling out the heal ball. “Flower Dancer, return!” A beam of red shot forth from the ball, consuming Flower Dancer in one fell swoop. He smirked as he placed the ball, now having shrunken its size considerably, on his belt and swapping it for another ball. “We’ve a need for speed.”
“No, wait!” Twilight blurted. Moving to throw the new ball, the hominid stopped dead. “Why are you doing this?”
“You-you can talk?” the trainer stammered, his hands trembling.
“Yes, I can-”
“Sweet God, yes! A talking Pokemon! IT’S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE! And it’s not of those annoying telepaths, oh no! It’s a Pokemon that speaks with a mouth! Hahahaha! Oh, I am so gonna capture you, put you a ball, and parade you around-” he threw his Pokeball out “-like some clever simile!” From the Pokeball came another odd creature: its black face and paws contrasted with its white coat; a single curved black horn jutted out one side of a face, bearing resemblance to its blade-like tail.
“All right, Blacknight,” the trainer barked, “use Night Slash!” Before Twilight could even open her mouth, Blacknight was upon her, slashing its horn across her leg. Hot drips of pain raced through her, but not where she had been cut; rather, the pain pierced her skull as if she had been stabbed with an icepick. Out of pure instinct, she grabbed at her head with both forehooves, ignoring the fact it sent her face-first into the ground.
As Blacknight jumped back, the trainer ordered, “Now, use False Swipe!”
Blacknight lunged at Twilight, who gritted her teeth in preparation for the worst. Rather than immediately strike her, Blacknight lunged to Twilight’s side, grabbing her still-standing rear legs in his sickle-like horn. With a jerk, Twilight was wholly forced in the ground, her body instinctively trying to pull into a fetal position.
“Perfect! We got her now!” the trainer shouted, prompting Blacknight to leap to the side. Grabbing a Pokeball, the trainer then threw it at Twilight. His aim was true, the ball struck her on the head – and then nothing happened. The trainer’s expression utterly died. “Oh shit.... Um...” He reached into his belt, pulling out Blacknight’s ball. “Blacknight, return.” A red beam short forth from the ball, utterly consuming Blacknight
Putting a hand over his face, the trainer muttered a stream of profanities. He sighed. “Well, now I feel kinda retarded.” Twilight, still on the ground, only coward further. “I mean, I should have seen this; you have goggles on... and I ain’t ever...” Shaking his head, he walked towards Twilight. Upon reaching her, he knelt down, a frown on his face. He reached a hand out to Twilight, over for her to flinch backwards, prompting him to jerk his hand away in kind.
“What's wrong with you?” he said in an annoyed tone.
“I think... I think I broke my ankle,” Twilight whined.
He grunted. “False swipe isn’t supposed to break limbs... Stupid Absol; this is all your damn fault.” He spat at the ground. “What were you even doing out... here... wherever this is... without your trainer? It’s dangerous.”
“I-I-I-I was... picking flowers,” she replied through clenched teeth.
“Flowers?” he deadpanned. Putting a hand in his pocket, he pulled out something which resembled window cleaner, only the bottle was much smaller. Twilight, upon seeing it, flinched back. “Whoa, whoa, easy there.” He held his hand out, slowly, as if trying to catch a snake. Then, with a jerk, he grabbed her wounded ankle, holding it steady despite Twilight’s bout of thrashing, and sprayed the bottle onto the injury.
The pain in her leg began to dissipate, as if by magic. Without warning, the trainer picked Twilight up, throwing her over his shoulder. Twilight yelped, attempting to thrash about. “Oi! Easy up, purple thing. I’m not out for problem? I’mma try to help you find your way back home, to your trainer.”
“Uhh...”
He shrugged. “Besides, a little goodwill goes a long way for helping myself... Oh, and the name’s Lucian.”
***
The early scraps of sunlight bore down upon the verdant fields of Equestria; the sunlight, just peaking over Canterlot mountain, bathed even the darkest nook and cranny with golden sun. It was the very definition of Eden – the very epitome of a normal Equestrian day. There was just problem: it was anything but a normal day.
Upon a seemingly random hill somewhere beneath Canterlot stood a long figure. Its body was a maelstrom of swirling particles, though it was covered by a black trenchcoat; and even then, bits of particles phased through its coat. The one place which was not a fractal of particles was its head, which bore an uncanny resemblance to a human’s; its eyes color scheme, though, we utterly inverted; rather than black pupils and a white eye, its retinae were white and what was usually white was now onyx black.
It simply stared at Canterlot; all it did was stand there and think. And as the pieces of its puzzle finally fell into place, it readied itself for action. Tomorrow would be an interesting day indeed for it.
This story is written not by me, but rather by my russian friend who dont speak english well. We have translated it and added some parts, sharpened the details. Most of the credits belongs to AvatarOfEnkidu
Interesting premise, I'll give ya that, but I feel the mashing of pokemon and mlp just feels a bit off, since I've seen it done before. Regardless, I liked the story and the writing, tell your friend to keep up the good work.
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Thanks.
Shmiggle, has anypony on this site heard from the FAther of Time, hmm? No, oh well, SWEET! I like this!
Uhhhh. These guys accepted this story in frigging 6 am by western coast of america. AGAIN. Are they hating me so much? Btw, they made it without cover art...
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Thanks :)
730887No problem dude!
*Runs home from the store*
Well gentlecolts, I have finally got myself a copy of "Pokemon: Error's Vanguard" for the Fimtendo 3Dp!
Lemme just...get the damn game outta the case... *Opens it* There we go.
It even comes with its own signed poster by Stalin Himself! Well, if it's a signed poster, The game's gotta rock! I can already see it, I'm gonna start out with Spike, turn him into Spikezilla, and I'm gonna capture the Legendary Alicorns! If I'm lucky, I'll even Find Discord and the ever-elusive Chrysalis!
I'm not even gonna point out the history of Stalin, either. Who cares what I have to say, the guy's like the Pony equivalent to Shigeru Miyamoto man.
So let's get this game started!
*Puts it into the Handheld comsole, and turns on*
Press start....aaand New game.
Woah, what's goin' on here? Is my game glitched? What's with "@sʇɐɹʇ*ERROR*oɟ&COLLISION>ɐ^BEGINS*lǝƃɐɔʎ["? C'mon gais, you should be checkin' for bugs before you post this shit. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png Maybe it was intentional.
Alright, so I start the game and I'm in the middle of the ocean...daamn, everything's all quiet...
So we find out there's a trainer and his Gyarados....wait, huh?
"His expression as placid as the ocean around him, the trainer dipped his hand into the water, allowing the waves to caress over his skin as the his Gyarados ."
"As the his Gyarados? Typo much gais? Might wanna patch the text in here, maybe it was interpreted wrong.
Alright, so it looks like my Trainer is writing something in his log, and woow ego much, mr. trainer? You're sounding...much...like...
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m54mnrwGUR1r52hcuo1_500.jpg
God damnit!
And wow, already I hate my character. HOW DARE YOU CALL GYARADOS, ONE OF THE COOLEST DRAGONS OUT THERE, MR. FISH! Why I outta--oh look!
A whirlpool. I do hope there's at least something decent in there, let's check it out!
So NOW, I get to take control of the surfing Gyarados and already the controls are fantastic. Just like in the ol' days. So now we head towards the Whirlpool... Oh...my...YES.
profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/50273_23435194307_7376929_n.jpg
"A wild MISSINGO appeared!"
We meet again, Old friend...Time to capture you and claim myself the dumbest man alive! Not even three minutes, and already the greatest thing in history!
Time to--oh crap it's speed is much better than mine.
"Wild MISSINGNO uses dsfkjghsgfkjndfkgnjwrekflgas!"
Wait, wat? Oh crap!
It exploded! Awwww....I was gon' catch it! And now i'm all wet. Beautiful.
------------
Wait, why am I looking at Twili--oooh, this is one of those "Different outlook" scenes! Ah, and they're doing their own thing. Caffeine? Oh, Twilight. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
------------
Well, now after that cutscene, My Player wakes up in... Wow, Missingno is STRONG to cause both explosion and teleport to happen!
Apparently, I drink Poke'beer. NEVER knew it to be true. Hey, this raises up a question: Am I 10? or 21?
Alright, check my inventory, so I got a few items in here. Good! No more of that "CHOOSE YOUR POKEMON FROM DE OLDEN MAN" shit. I just start out the game as a trainer with presets. I can dig it. It's like Pokemon Colosseum, or Pokemon XD, where you're a trainer/snatcher with presets.
Let's see my pokemon...right now, I have a Bellosum--Flower Dancer? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png
--------------
Oh! Another Pony cutscene! So now we're in Froggy Bottom Bog I take it! Yeah, I remember this place! That Hydra was scary as all hell!
Oh crap, they discovered My Bellossom...
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/251/7/7/a_wild_twilight_appeared_by_dmn666-d492rpv.png
Well, I wonder if I can catch her! Time to battle!
[youtube=WjY3SCL1aNU]
Let's try...Petal Dance!
"The Attack Missed!"
...Damnit.
"Flower Dancer is Confused!"
Oh god damnit no!
I'll just tag out with...YES! I got an ABSOL! ...Or his name can be Blacknight...eh.
Let's see...Nightslash, here we go!
There we go! Let's try False Swipe now. That way, She wont faint...oh man, I'm gonna own TWILIGHT! MY FAVORITE FUCKING PONY!
Let's use a Poke'ball now. I dont think I have to waste any other ball...WAIT WAT
NOTHING HAPPENED? NOOOOOoooooooo!
She cant be caught! OH GOD DAMNIT! I wasted all that time...FOR NOTHING!
Well, all's not too bad...who knows, maybe I cant capture her NOW..but maybe another trainer owns her?
I'll just interact here, pick her up. and now we move.
--------
Oh! Once more, a cutsce--WHO IS THAT.
Is that...That cant be Missingno...could it...?
----------
Well, I think I had enough here for now. I'll just save my game here....aaaand done.
I gotta hand it to Stalin, he sure got me with this one, I almost thought my game was busted, and I now have my very first...hated character!
He treated his pokemon like slaves and dopes, that's the number one thing I dont like about him...well...maybe he'll get better if I mosey along with this game.
For now, thanks guys for tuning into Geon's Gamerview!
In a little bit, I'll get back into this, but for now remember kids:
Geon is Best Gamer.
Toodles, my little followers! Oh, and dont forget to fav my work, and subscribe on m' profile!
((Ok, I think I had WAAAAY too much fun doing this.))
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Oh, lookie! Seems like i have a concurent on my stalinviews
731195 Indeed you have!
I'm glad you enjoy it, It's all JUST for you. My literal first Gamerview! Not to be confused by the stalinviews that these were inspired from.
I'm serious when I say I went all out with this too. It was alot of fun preparing, and just locating the pics and music to go by. XD
So what DID you think, did I go too far with the pics? the vid?
And concurent? :3
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Gotta admit, it's quality is much highter than most of mine stalinviews, when it comes to material works. Maybe it is because i became kinda lazy with stalinviews? :D
731283 Eeeh. Who knows.
Definitely, if you want any more of this, lemme know. I'll do em just for ya. And higher quality? Oh I dunno about that...
this was just me typing at my computer like I would in an RPG. besides, I review games every now and then, my work's in my blogs...in fact, I gotta update my next review! Today's game is called "Karnov" for the NES/Arcade!
We'll talk more in PM's. Dont wanna put too many comments down here, y'know? :P
You were right. This one is interesting and MUCH different from the others. I was worried for a moment. I did notice one mistake: "we utterly inverted". I think you meant "were". Other than that, this thing is pretty much flawless in spelling and grammar...as far as I can tell. I can also bet I know who the particle human is.
This was an interesting story, and not being much of a Pokemon person I found it quite interesting. The syntax you used throughout the story was high quality, as this fic is, and should you continue to do that, you could go far my friend.
I didn't see any errors that popped out while I was reading, so good job on that. I'm liking where this is going, so I'll be sure to put opinions on later chapters!(any pokemon knowledge is because of my friend who likes to play it, so I may not fully understand it at times.)
731309
And i can safely bet that you're mistaken :D
731311
Thanks! I will try to make it understandable to people who are not familliar with franchise
731316 Mistaken?images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120428071353/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/a/a7/Challenge_accepted.jpg
731316 Alrighty then!
Time for a quick overview of this story/this chapter:
Originality: Definitely a creative story! I mean yes, it's a human crossover in Equestria story, but at least it's creative! 10/10
Original Characters (Or in this case, character): The trainer Lucian kind of reminds me of Ragna the Bloodedge from Blazblue. Yes, he can be an ass most of the time, but when he needs to be he can be somewhat nice. Let's just hope he gets nicer in the future. Still, pretty original in design. Kind of looks like Brandon in Pokemon Emerald. 9/10
Chapter Length: It's a solid length that isn't too long or too short and gives us a good amount of story. 10/10
Descriptions: It's pretty good for it. Whenever there is descriptions, it's always really well written. 10/10
Overall: A solid nine to a near ten. Let's hope this story gets better!
I found some very minor mistakes:
He put a claw to his chin. “Come to think of it, I don’t know where our money comes from. Does the city pay your for being the librarian, ‘cause I’ve never once seen somepony walking in here and checking something out.
That needs to be you.
Rather that immediately strike her, Blacknight lunged to Twilight’s side, grabbed her still-standing rear legs in his sickle-like horn.
First thing needs to be then, and the second one needs to be grabbing (I think).
Twilight, still on the ground, only coward further. “I mean, I should have seen this; you have goggle on... and I ain’t ever...” Shaking his head, he walked towards Twilight. Upon reaching her, he knelt down, a frown on his face.
Make that goggles.
Twilight, upon see it, flinched back. “Whoa, whoa, easy there.” He held his hand out, slowly, as if trying to catch a snake.
It'd be better if it was 'upon seeing it' (without the quotations of course).
That's all I could find at the moment.
I also have a Pokemon crossover story in my head, although I haven't written it yet. Still, this was a good chapter.
731541
Thanks! This is very helpful
That was strange, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tell your friend he should definitely continue.
731605
Thanks! He defenetely will
ohmygosh that was AMAZING! This is a very exciting premise, unlike anything I have ever seen. One thing I want to point out, though, is that the trainer's name may cause a bit of confusion because Lucian is also the name of one of the Elite Four in Diamond and Pearl. Slill, very well written and interesting!
When I got to the end of this story, I was giggling and making the sound that pokeballs make. I guess that means I liked it.
...eh, why not. *Tracks*
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Thanks, guys! I started all this translation work because i like this story and think that it not like every crossover i've read before :)
Alrighty comrade, you've got yourself a review! I appreciate you dealing with my BS up to this point, so consider this one on the house!
The First thing I have to get out of the way, however, is my familiarity with Pokemon. Which is to say, I'm incredibly familiar with first gen Pokemon, and I don't know a single thing about later generations, with the exception of a few gen 2 ones. So a lot of these names and types are going to go right over my head.
... what? I know this is a typo, I don't know what it's supposed to say.
You should really mature tag this stuff
Though seriously, the word pocket would do wonders for the mental image that gets conjured up.
I understand that this a personality quirk of his, to be cocky and prideful, but aren't there, like, twenty different world-level competitions determining this? I feel like a strong theme with Pokemon is that you have the capacity to prove you're the best
Funny, but a little too meta for me. Meta humor in non-meta stories just takes you out of it
Where's that ego of yours now? Aren't you already the "worlds greatest trainer?"
getting a little repetitive
It seems like politics and economy in equestria got a lot more complicated
This whole bit here seems a little out of character for these two, namely because Spike doesn't often tease twilight, and it's usually just a quick remark when he does. That said, it's pretty cute, so I don't entirely mind.
Wat. Isn't pokemon, like, not on earth? How would he know about an american state?
He's getting obnoxiously more meta every time he speaks
And it's not one of those annoying telepaths
woah. He just switched between, like, three different dialects/accents in one short paragraph. May want to fix that.
Overall, this is suprisingly well done! I like that it follows the logic of the games, rather than the cartoon, which made it more flexible as well as more nostalgic. Though it pains me to see twilight get hurt, I liked the trainer's first encounter with her, because I think that's a pretty reasonable assessment of what a Pokemon trainer would do first.
Also, this was much better written than I expected, gramatically. The errors I pointed out were the only ones I could find!
735599
Wat. Isn't pokemon, like, not on earth? How would he know about an american state?
Actually, Kanto is actual japanese region. In fact, all first four gen games took place in japan, while fifth one took place in New York
Plus, if you watched first movie, Mew was discovered in south america. http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Mew
Oh, almost forgot. THANKS! :D
735599
(Stalin's co-author/editor here) That you for your comments and thoughts. I wasn't aware that that little train-robbery scene was OOC 'cause it was so cute that it might as well appear in the show. But it appear that its cute enough to fly under most radars.
As for the reference to the US, in the English dub of the movie Mewtwo appears in, Ash mention Minnesota by name ("I didn't know Vikings still existed." "They're mostly in Minnesota." – being that I lived in Minnesota at the time, I never forget that exact line). So I figured that Louisiana was also fair game.
Lastly, sorry for the accent thing. See, my problem is that I sometimes speak out loud when writing dialogue in order to give it a more natural flow. Then I write down why I said in the real world down into the fanfic. I actually speak like that, you see. People constantly ask me where my accent's from (It's partly why a self-insert of me would never work; my accent is too weird.) I'll have that bit edited out lickety split.
Thank you.
735654
This is what you call a oddity in the Pokemon universe.
They have multiple references to our regions and cities and have places based off of them, but don't actually seem to know about us at the same time. They're just a bit crazy
736465
Well, it's how it is :)
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I actually had a feeling that the Louisiana thing was fair game, because I know that Kanto is a region in japan, and I remember it from the games and show. However, I just passed it off as coincidence because the Japanese are self-obsessed in their cartoons (seriously watch like any anime, apparently every alien, super-being, supernatural lifeform, or god-like creature will head to japan first thing they do when they get here).
That assumption also came from the fact that the games make no attempt to resemble any real landmasses in their level design.
So that bit is my bad, though the trainer is still way too meta in his dialogue. Referring to Professor Oak so much is what namely bothered me, because I imagine anyone who's been running around long enough to have their own Gyarados would either appreciate Oak's help or have forgotten about him completely (like I always did)
736866
Well, actually all five professors in each gen are asking "boy/girl" question :P and i never forgot about Oak, he was giving me useful stuff :) And in remakes in postgame he opened acess to some gen 2 pokemons
There's an error of sorts in the early part of describing Spike and Twilight:
A mistress is someone else you have a sexual relationship with, while you have a spouse. So unless Spike is cheating on his wife with his mother figure, she wouldn't be his mistress. If your friend plans to ship Twilight and Spike, which to me makes no sense, he would have to use another word.
Alright, so, this was written by a Russian friend of yours? I guess this'll be for him. Now, I'm not a cute reviewer. I don't use pictures to show my meaning. I'm honest and maybe a little brutal, if the story needs it. So, first, here's what wrong with the story: grammatical issues first
The first part of the chapter, which begins in Poke-world, is a little comma heavy. There are a lot of unnecessary commas that are a bit of an eye sore to someone who knows how they're supposed to be used. What's strange about this is that the rest of the chapter doesn't have this problem, for the most part.
There are several instances where it says somebody 'nickered.' I'm willing to bet my teeth that most of those are supposed to say 'snickered,' as in a chuckle of some sort.
At one point, the trainer 'Nearly vomited out his entire stomach,' but I'm pretty sure vomited is supposed to be vomiting.
There's a point where the trainer says he's trying to have a good apostrophe. Given that you/the author are Russian, I can't fault you. But I feel someone should have caught this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but an apostrophe is the comma like symbol in conjunctions like can't or don't. I'm sure you meant to make some grammar related joke, given your surprising vocabulary. I had to look up what soliloquies were.
During the last section, there's a sentence that goes like this: "The early scraps of sunlight bore down upon the verdant fields of Equestria; the sunlight, just peaking over Canterlot mountain," which would flow a little better if you changed the second sunlight to just sun. Try to not use the same word over again if it can be avoided. This can be a little tricky, given there are only a few words that can mean the same thing and sometimes this can't really apply to a situation. You'll have to use your judgment on this. Basically, if it's two paragraphs away from the last time you used a word, or if a word is a focal point you want the reader's attention on, you can use the word again.
There are still a couple of small grammatical errors that you really need a third party editor to fix, like missing words and wrong use of tense. No offense to the translator or the co-author, but it's difficult to error fix your own work.
Now, story related errors:
I can see you're trying to describe the Pokemon world for those who might not know anything about it, and you do a very good job of that. On the flipside, however, you seem to just assume that everybody knows about My Little Pony. Given you're posting it on a pony website, it might seem like an okay shortcut, but it really comes off kind of lazy. The descriptions in the conversation with Spike and Twilight are a little lackluster and seem to go along as if I already understand. One thing you did right here, however, was the jokes made about Twilight being a librarian. This tells us she is a librarian by having the characters say it and not the narrative, which feels a whole lot better to the reader. This is how you should have revealed that Twilight is a pony and Spike is a dragon: have the characters do it.
I find the trainer's maturity level... odd. That isn't to say he isn't well done. There are times when he's incredibly cocky, and that's a good character flaw. But how cocky he is seems to fluctuate too much. Pulling out his log to listen to his own voice was quite strange and out of nowhere. It'd be better if he had made a log right then and there about how awesome he is. Also, his use of swears and mention of Pokebeer really threw me off. The oldest Pokemon trainer in any game is thirteen, and the general world of pokemon friendly to the point of being goofy. I don't fault you for trying to make the trainer more realistic, and for the most part you succeed. I just think the beer was too much, if not the swears.
And... that's it. That's all that's really wrong. Now, let's talk about what you did right:
I must say, I am impressed. Crossovers are difficult to get right or usually they go completely wild. This doesn't blow the situation out of proportion thus far. You've meshed the logic of a trainer meeting a pony really well. The trainer's level of stupidity is handled well to make things interesting a realistic. It's believable, and that's where crossovers truly shine.
The meta-jokes are handled well. Being a pokefanatic, I immediately got the joke about being asked if the trainer was a boy or a girl and busted a gut. I kind of agree with one reviewer that the joke is a little meta, but a little change would make it flow a bit more smoothly. Mentioning the man's age or how easily he's distracted would make the reference. I wouldn't worry about it too much, though. As it is, for it to be meta someone would have to have played the original games. By itself it just seem to be revealing how out of touch the Pokedex's creator is.
One thing I can appreciate is taking an already established concept and making something new out of it. I can't really judge this until I see more of the story, but I like what you did with missingno. To rethink something from the games for a story shows ingenuity. It's always better when writing fanfiction to use something from the source material that to make up your own ideas. One step better is to rework ideas already there. You did that with missingno and I applaud you.
I loved Twilight's and Spike's conversation. Some might say that Twilight and Spike are out of character here, but anyone who does is a little close minded. People... er, ponies change from day to day. While true most of the time we view the characters in their daily lives, we don't see them during all their activities. We don't know what Twilight and Spike do as they're working. Besides that, you bring up an excellent point; where does Twilight get her funds? Back on topic, characters also change from the lessons they've learned. I'd imagine this would take place after "Lesson Zero" and "It's About Time" which would mean Twilight would have considerably unwound. I view this conversation as taking this fact into consideration.
You handle point of view intelligently, which I appreciate so much. If a section starts with Twilight, it's told from Twilight's perspective. I can't tell you how many crossovers I've read where they just let the narrative go all over the place. You keep it with Twilight during her confrontation with the Trainer. Good work.
Speaking of the confrontation, it's very believable. As mentioned before, you use that trainer's cockiness/stupidity to make things interesting and keep the story going. Confrontations like this are much more pleasing to the reader when the character flaws are used but not overly so.
That's all I can really say so far. All in all, this isn't like most generic crossovers. You are actually putting your hearts into it and listening to your reviewers. I can't say I'm eagerly awaiting more given my general dislike of what I refer to as 'literal' crossovers, but I will say I wouldn't mind reading more and hope you don't quit.
Sincerely,
The Conflicted Writer
Oh! One other thing; good use of medium awareness with the chapter's title. I'm not sure how you did it, but it really grabs the reader's attention. Not to mention I'm sure it's a reference to the overall problem of the story. If it is, that is an excellent way to hint at it.
737772
Trust me or not, but it is MOST HELPFUL REVIEW I EVER GOT ON ANY OF MY STORIES! Thank you very much! Althou my english suck hard, i do have editor/co-autor. Believe me, w/o him it woulda've be a MESS. Anyway, Crushric shall fix all these flaws you mentioned/ As for you, go to my page, read my blog and pick your reward. You won't be disappointed
737722
Actually, it is being used in it's original meaning here. See, back in Ye Olden Days, Master denoted male, while Mistress denoted female. No clue how it got changed to mean "Kept Woman", but the original meaning is still used today, if somewhat archaic.
735654
Wait... which game is #5 again? *Ponders* Red/Blue/Yellow is 1, Gold/Silver/Crystal is 2, and Black/White is 7. ...and those are the only games in the series I've ever played. X_x; I only got into B/W because of Team Plasma and the stronger plot.
...and I am STILL annoyed at the lack of a new evolution for Farfetch`D. Where is the love, Devs?
738093
Basically, gen 5 bring nothing new :P Gamefreak's intentions was to restart the series with that generation (that's why learnset of most new pokemons suck btw)
737772
(co-author here)
Thank you kindly, friend. I'll get to editing those write quick.
Notes: To nicker is to l laugh/snicker, however, it's primarily used in that context in US Midwestern and Southern dialects, both of which I speak... kinda. I like it because it mean what it means but is also a rather odd word to the majority of the populace. Your teeth, if you would
An apostrophe is a ' , but it's also when a character speaks to someone who isn't there/cant talk back. IE: when Brutus spoke to Caesar's ghost in "Caesar"; speaking with, say, a pet would also count because they can't talk back. I really love apostrophes, and I love to lampshade them even more.
741731
Wow, this is some really intelligent humor/use of words. I've been writing for ages and these things flew right over my head. I wonder how many other people on this site know this when I don't? Given your use of soliloquies, I shouldn't be surprised you reference 'Ceaser.' Thanks for making me a little smarter.
I feel I should say, however, that you may still want to change the nicker thing. Don't get me wrong, it makes sense now that I know, but keep in mind that some of your readers might not understand that it's a dialect thing. You'll always get way more readers than you get comments even when your story is popular. As unfortunate as it, most people who read your story won't say anything about your story and tell you what the liked or didn't like, but will still rate it. It seems counterproductive to say this and I really don't want to, but the more universal your language, the better.
Keep the apostrophe thing, though. That will certainly make people smarter if they take the time to make it make sense. It also adds a strange amount of depth to the trainer, kind of giving him a Pinkie Pie feeling in that he's not as stupid as you'd first think.
742994
You'll always get way more readers than you get comments
Heh, check number of comments on Dirge of Harmony :) About 7 times more than readers :)
743001
Looks at Dirge of Harmony
Looks at number comments
Sees amount likes
Sees amount of views
Thanks for disproving the basic laws of fanfiction.
Ooook, time to make a comment. Since I see that somebody has made a useful review, I'll try something different...
I've always wondered what the hell are those swimmers doing. They sleep or eat? When you go to those routes at night, they're still there.
I know they can close his mouth, but... that was mean. This trainer seems a bit jerk.
Also, that last line should be in a new paragraph
Missigno. I remember the time I captured it. It corrupted my friggin' game.
Also, does that mean that the pokémon world is a videogame in this fic? The character is not real?
Spike is asking a question, so you should put a question mark. Something like "Does the city pay you for being the librarian? 'Cause I've never seen somepony..." Also, maybe it should be "pay us". After all, Spike works on the library too... well, "works". It seems like they don't exactly "work" there.
As somebody said before me, cute but OOC. I don't know why is exactly OOC, but they doesn't sound like Twilight and Spike. Twilight would roll her eyes and said something like "don't be silly", I think.
The HELL?! Ok, I didn't expect such a phrase just after the OOC-cute scene. That's... hell, that surprised me. Not a bad thing, of course. Just... "sons of whores". Wow.
I was going to make a joke with the Pokebeer ("POKEBEER IS MADE OUT OF POKÉMON! POKEBEER IS MADE OUT OF POKÉMON!") but you did it before. Clever boy.
Bellossom can only be female. But on the other hand, This note can be helpful if you don't know that.
By the way, "Flower Dancer"... wow. This trainer is very imaginative. But I liked "Mr Fish". It's the perfect name for a Gyarados, kinda the ones I use in my games.
I hate that word. It's a perfectly correct word, I know, I just... Gah. "giggle" is okay, but when I read "giggling" I always scream and must drink coffee to calm down. Stupid English grammar.
Oh, by the way, the trainer is right. I've always thought that, in battle, Sweet Scent is useless, but if you could use it in reality, it would be... interesting.
That... that was pretty funny. Lampshade hanging. Clever.
But, yeah, she talks to herself a lot. Just making her remember things or thinking them would work too. It's weird read about somebody who is clearly saying things she already know just for you to know them.
Look out for that.
...
What the...? There is a flower named "bellossom"? Oh my god. If it's a flower from Equestria, then I have nothing to say. If it's a real flower I'LL FUCKING GO TO THE FLOWER-STORE (wow, I don't know the name of a store that sells flowers. I'm awesome) OF MY TOWN AND BUY ONE!
I think you should change that. Repeating "thing", even when you're talking about two different objects, doesn't sound well.
By the way, I've always wondered how tall are the ponies. I mean... "My LITTLE Pony". I see you put them like dogs, I guess it's a good measure. Honestly, If I made a human-in-equestria story, I would have problems with this.
I love this. Twilight just discovered two new species and is starled, but she's able to see the pokéball as if she had been searching for it. I would say something about this, but... she is Twilight. In my headcannon, she can do that.
He's a human with sharp teeth. His mother was a shark. Well, in that case, a Sharpedo.
Indeed.
...
Yeah, I know that this quote is completely unnecesary. Sorry.
JERK.
Come on, Twily. LASER UP THIS MOTHERFUCKER!
I mean... teleport. Yeah, that's more on her character. I guess a light-amplification-by-stimulated-emission-of-radiation-crazy Twilight is a bit OOC. But, man, Rule of Awesome.
That was also very funny. I would do the same in his situation.
DON'T YOU SAY, YOU MORON?!
I know that, given my last comment, this is hypocrite as hell. But, on the other hand, DON'T YOU SAY, YOU MORON?!
You're talking to my #2 favourite pokémon of all time, you jerk. Be careful or I'll... shout to the computer, because I can't do anything more.
Man, being a reader sucks sometimes.
Ok, I already knew that, but this conversation is great. "What are you doing here? I attacked you because you seemed dangerous!" "I-I was picking flowers..."
JEEEEEEEERK.
No, really. I like this part.
...
I fucking hate you.
HA!
By the way, I guess that your use of the Potion (Ultrapotion, maybe?) makes sense. In reality, a pokémon with a broken limb must be usual for a trainer.
Look, I know you're trying to be polite... BUT I FUCKING HATE YOU. PURPLE "THING" YOUR MOTHER!
"My name... is Glitchy".
Aaaand I think that's all. I'm not going to lie: it's funny, but... it can be better. That last scene seemed competely pointless at this moment, I would have waited a few chapters. For now, the entire Missigno situation is weird enough for the readers: putting a bad character so soon is kinda hasty. (I think that's the world, or at least that's what Google says. ALL HAIL GOOGLE).
About the character, I don't know if it's part of his characterization, but I think he's a bit of a jerk. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
Sadly, the MLP characters were OOC most of the time. And I'm sorry, but for me, the entire library scene is pointless. You can erase it, and nothing bad happens... and being honest, They were too OOC that time.
But, as always, this is the first chapter. Let's wait a bit, and we'll see the second and third. For now, my advice is simple: Look for the MLP characters, they have reactions very established.
See ya!
EDIT: Ok, I've read The Conflicted Writer's comment, and about the OOC scene... I still think what I've said here. It's true that people change, but these characters have been mostly the same for two seasons. They have a personality, so even with mood changes or something like that, they act like themselves (for example, in the Mare-Do-Well chapter, RD's personality changes a little, but she's still acting like herself).
That scene, the library one, is too OOC: in the show they wouldn't have acted like that.
761880
Let's begin :)
"I've always wondered what the hell are those swimmers doing. They sleep or eat? When you go to those routes at night, they're still there."
During winter in pokemon black/white too :) These guys have balls of steel!
Missigno. I remember the time I captured it. It corrupted my friggin' game.
Actually, all Missingno. doing is corrupting your hall of fame data :P
'M is another story. It's a missingno. clone and can destroy comp if he is put in here
"Bellossom can only be female. But on the other hand, This note can be helpful if you don't know that."
Bellossom is an evolved form of Gloom. Gloom has 50% gender ratio, so does bellossom.
"They were too OOC that time. "
Well, only in library scene. But i can't erase library scene entirely, cuz i like it and source material have it. But we'll think on remaking it. Thanks for the comment :)
Also, as for sizes: i think ponies are the size of... ponies. My comparison can be seen on cover
Taking two of my favorite things-Pokemon and ponies-was an amazing idea.I love this fanfic so far.
767610
Thanks!
As for me, i love many things, and pokemon and pony are one of my favorite things of my favorite things :D I am a huge pokemon nerd, that's why i decided to take this story
He should have a dragon pokemon.
882873
He hasnt, although some his pokemon knows dragon type attacks
U needs moar chapters. This is awesome.
882999
Thanks and no worries, new chapter will be soon :D