Chapter Three
Rarity had drifted in and out of a fitful sleep for the rest of the night, always opening her eyes at Sweetie’s slightest sound. So, when she heard Sweetie’s voice saying her name just after Celestia raised the sun, she bolted upright. Her blue eyes met her sisters green. She was on her hooves and by the bed an instant. “Do you need something, sweetheart?”
Sweetie furrowed her brow. “You aren’t supposed to be back yet. You’re supposed to be in Appleloosa.”
With a shake of her head, Rarity laid her hoof on Sweetie’s. “Do you really think I could stay out there knowing that you needed me here?” Rarity took a shaky breath. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“She isn’t okay,” Nurse Redheart said, walking into the room. “Your parents aren’t here?” she asked, looking between Sweetie Belle and Rarity. When Rarity shook her head, Nurse Redheart sighed. “Very well. Your sister is malnourished. Her blood sugar was too low, and that’s why she passed out. There was also an electrolyte imbalance, both of which we’ve managed to bring to regular levels.”
“Mal-malnourished? That’s impossible. I cook, and we eat together, and I know my parents aren’t starving her, even if they aren’t the best.” Rarity looked at Sweetie Belle. “I mean, look at her. She appears fine.”
Nurse Redheart took a deep breath. “Rarity, I need you to sit down, okay?” Once Rarity found the seat, Nurse Redheart nodded. “This is difficult, I’ll admit. Your sister has been—”
“Wait!” A glance at Sweetie Belle showed the girl’s terrified expression as she watched Rarity. She swallowed, taking a few deep breaths. “It’s me. I…I…” She started breathing heavier, never taking her gaze off Rarity. “It’s just a diet, you know? So I can be thinner.”
It felt like ice flowing through Rarity’s veins as Sweetie spoke. Everything seemed to slow down as she took in the image of her sister, lying in the hospital bed. “What’s just a diet?” she asked, fearing the answer.
Tears were already falling from Sweetie Belle’s eyes. “I…” She trailed off, biting her lip. “It’s hard to just not eat, you know? So I eat and then I…I throw it up. I know that’s bad for you, but I haven’t thrown up for the last three days. I’ve been really strong and I haven’t ate anything.”
“Strong?” Rarity walked over to Sweetie Belle, feeling that her own stomach had dropped out of her body. “No, Sweetie Belle. That isn’t strength. Why would…” With tears rolling down her cheeks. she placed a gentle hoof on Sweetie’s cheek, looking into her sisters eyes.
Nurse Redheart cleared her throat. “It’s called Bulimia. It’s a mental condition. It’s possible to heal from its effects.” She held back a flinch as Rarity and Sweetie turned their gaze to her. “I do need to speak to you privately, Rarity.”
They walked out into the nearly empty hallway. “Here’s the thing. We’re willing to release her to you today.” Rarity nodded. “She is required to see at therapist at least once a week. I’ve gotten some materials for you, so you can read up on the condition and look for warning signs of a relapse better.” Nurse Redheart placed her hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “With support, she’ll work through this.”
Rarity looked at everything Nurse Redheart had given her. “I don’t understand how this happened.”
“Talk to her. She might open up.” Glancing at the open door of the room, Nurse Redheart shook her head. “I never thought I’d see those three in for something like this. A broken bone, maybe, or other problem from their recklessness, but this…” She shrugged. “She’s a strong filly. She’ll pull through. I’m sure of it.”
“I don’t want to see some stupid therapist,” Sweetie groaned. “That’s just somepony for me to go whine about how terrible my life is, when it isn’t.” Rarity sat a sandwich in front of Sweetie Belle. Sweetie poked it before sighing. “I’m not hungry.”
“I don’t care.” Rarity sat across from her with a cup of tea. “I’m not…we’re not…” She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed deep. “Sweetie Belle, this is part of your release. You have to eat and keep it down. It’s just a daisy sandwich.”
“It’s two hundred calories, is what it is.” Still, she picked it up and took a bite.
After a few moments of silence, Rarity cleared her throat. “Why? Why did you…” she swallowed. Say it. If you can’t say it, you won’t be able to help her. “Why did you throw everything up? What started this?”
Sweetie slowly chewed her third bite of the sandwich. “I guess it really started a while ago. Mom was teasing me about my baby pudge, so I stopped eating so many sweets and lost it. It felt nice.” She smiled a bit. “I looked good, you know? Then you showed me how to do my makeup. You showed me how to be beautiful.”
Holding up a hoof, Sweetie shook her head, stopping Rarity from speaking. “I know. I still remember what you said. ‘You’re beautiful without this. I wear it because it boosts my confidence and makes me feel better. It isn’t something with which you draw on a new face, but something to bring out your best features.’ I wrote that down and memorized it.”
“You did?” Rarity asked, a little shocked.
Sweetie nodded. “I did. Then I started looking at your fashion magazines. I saw how pretty the models were. How thin they were. I saw that and wanted it. I guess about six months ago I threw up on purpose for the first time.”
She’s been doing this for six months, and I’ve been none the wiser?
“I had gone to Sugarcube Corner with AB and Scoots. We had cupcakes and pie and milkshakes, to celebrate the amount of money we had saved. I felt so dirty after. Dirtier than normal after eating. So I went to the bathroom and threw it up, and suddenly I felt lighter than I had in ages.” She looked up at Rarity. “It was freedom, in a way. And power. I could be thin, and maybe…” She trailed off, biting her lip.
“And maybe?” Rarity prodded.
Sweetie swallowed, looking down at the sandwich again, the words coming quickly from her mouth. “Maybe mom and dad would notice that I was getting thinner and be proud. Maybe you would want me to be a model. Maybe I could be something instead of nothing.”
Silence hung in the air as Sweetie picked up the sandwich and took a bite. She refused to meet Rarity’s gaze, though she could feel her sister’s eyes on her. It took until she finished the sandwich for her to look up. “Say something, Rarity.”
“You think you’re nothing?” Her voice was soft and quiet. She stood and walked over to where Sweetie was sitting, kneeling so that she had to look up at her sister. “You have never been nothing, Sweetie Belle. You’ve written plays that ponies have gone to, you’ve helped foals find their souls calling. You’ve brought me happiness and joy just by being my sister.” Quiet tears ran down Rarity’s face. “You’ve always been a marvelous pony.”
Sweetie threw herself onto Rarity, burying her face in Rarity’s neck. Sobs shook her as Rarity held tightly to her, stroking her back. “That’s right, let it all come out,” Rarity soothed. She hummed, rocking them back and forth as they sat on the kitchen floor.
Rarity could feel Sweetie’s chest expand as she took deep breaths, the wetness of her tears as they ran onto her coat, her hot breath as her breathing hitched. “I feel like nothing.” The words came out between sobs, as the younger mare fought for control. “I know I don’t live up to what you wanted, and I’m sorry.” Rarity continued to run a comforting hoof over Sweetie’s back. “It’s just so hard. I really had control of this one thing that I couldn’t screw up, and even that was a mistake.”
“I’ve always been proud of you.” Rarity added as much affection as she could to her words as she softly spoke. “I should have said it more, but you have always been a shining light for me. I want you as who you are, dear, not some perceived thought of perfection that no one can grasp.”
Time passed as Sweetie poured out more tears than Rarity though she could ever hold, though she didn’t say anything else. Eventually, Sweetie stopped crying, though she didn’t pull away. Instead she snuggled closer to Rarity, letting her sister just hold her. The setting sun could be seen through the window when Sweetie Belle finally pulled away from Rarity. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice rough from crying.
Rarity shook her head and put her hoof under Sweetie Belle’s chin, making sure she wouldn’t look away. “I love you, Sweetie Belle.”
Though her eyes were rimmed with red and puffy, she gave Rarity a small, true smile. “I love you, too.”
Rarity slowly stood, her legs stiff from sitting on the hard floor so long. “Come on, we’ve sat here for long enough. What do you say to a walk in the park?”
Loud pounding broke apart Rarity’s dream. She groaned, turning over to look at the clock, proudly declaring that it was five in the morning. She grumbled, pulling her house shoes on and making her way to the door. She rubbed her eyes once to help wake her before throwing open the door.
“I’m terribl—“ Rarity scowled at the white earth pony stallion and pink unicorn mare standing in front of her. “Oh, mother, father. We weren’t expecting you back so soon.”
“We got the telegram that Sweetie Belle was in the hospital and left as soon as we could,” Hondo Flanks said.
Rarity turned, leaving the door open for them to step through, and made her way to the kitchen. “Yes, I suppose you put in a lot of effort for that, did you?”
“Rarity,” Cookie Crumble reprimanded. “Of course we did. Sweetie Belle is our daughter—“
Rarity stiffened at the words, spinning about to face her parents, who had barely crossed into the house. “Don’t. You. Even. Think that you can come here and tell me how much you care about Sweetie Belle.” Her eyes were blazing as she looked at her parents. “It has been four days. Four days!” Her nostrils flared as she breathed. “Do you know who’s been here, well before you? Princess Twilight Sparkle, who stayed the night with her in the hospital. Princess Luna, and not just in a dream. Shining Armor and Princess Cadance!” She gritted her teeth as they looked at her, wide eyed and open mouthed, unable to say anything. “And you, you couldn’t get here from Las Pegasus for four days! No, I don’t think so. You can just trot yourselves right out that door, and Sweetie will see you at her convince.”
Cookie Crumble stepped forward, looking her daughter square in the eye. “We have the right to see our little girl, Rarity.”
“You can see her whenever she wants. You’re always so busy going to this place or that town, dropping her here every time. Well, that’s fine. She’ll stay here now.” Rarity stood, glaring at them. “So, get out of my house.”
“Now, see here, young lady—“
“Out!” she screeched, pointing a hoof toward the door. “I thought I would talk reasonably, but I’ve changed my mind. Get out.”
She slammed the door shut just as their tails crossed the threshold. She stood by the door, breathing heavily, until she heard hoofsteps on the stairs. “You really told them,” Sweetie said, looking at the door. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you yell like that.”
Rarity took another deep breath, feeling herself cool down. “I’m sorry I woke you up, Sweetie. You can go talk to them, or go back home, if you want. I simply couldn’t let them…I wouldn’t.”
Sweetie nuzzled Rarity, pulling away with a yawn. “After such a late night, what with Pinkie’s ‘Let’s Eat’ party, I just really want to sleep.”
With a smile, Rarity nodded. “Yes, sleep sounds wonderful.”
They made their way up the stairs and were just about to walk into their separate bedrooms when Sweetie stopped. “Rarity?”
“Hmm?” She looked over to see Sweetie’s pensive expression.
“Can I sleep with you?”
“Of course,” Rarity said, opening the door and waiting for Sweetie to walk in.
Sweetie flopped onto the bed, sighing at the comfort of the mattress. “You know, I could get used to this bed.”
“Well, perhaps I’ll buy one for your room at the one month mark? Does that sound like a good reward?”
Sitting up, Sweetie looked at her sister. “Seriously? You would drop that much money on a bed for me? I’m not even here that much.”
Rarity bit her lip. “You could be, if you wanted to. I… I want you here with me, if you want to be.”
A slow smile spread across Sweetie Belle’s face as she lay back onto the bed. “You’re the best sister ever, you know that?”
“I’ll take that as a yes?”
“Of course,” squealed Sweetie Belle.
Rarity and Sweetie Belle were in the kitchen preparing lunch when another knock came to the door. Rarity slowly put down the knife she had been using to slice a tomato. “I’ll be back in a moment,” she said, leaving Sweetie slicing radishes.
She opened the door with a flourish and a grin. “Welcome to Carousel—Oh, hello, Duke.” Her smiled changed to a more happy one. “What brings you to Ponyville?”
Moving to the side, Duke gestured to the luggage beside him. “Braeburn said you wrote to him, asking that your stuff be sent back here, and I thought I’d see that it made it to Ponyville.”
Rarity smiled, levitating the luggage. “That was very kind of you. Would you like to come in, Sweetie Belle and I were just making lunch.”
Duke glanced behind him for a second before nodding. “I reckon I have a few minutes. I can’t stay long. The rest of the team is waiting back at the station. We have another rodeo down south in a couple of days.”
“Hmm, yes, did the ensembles I make work out?” She led him through the main shop and into the kitchen as she spoke. “Oh, Sweetie Belle, this is Duke, a client from Appleloosa. Duke, this is my younger sister, Sweetie Belle.”
He inclined his head. “Howdy, Miss. Glad to see you’re feeling better. Sure had your sister in a state. She ran off without any of her things.”
Sweetie’s eyebrows shot up. “You left all your stuff in Appleloosa?”
“It was all at Braeburn’s house, perfectly safe.” She turned away from Sweetie’s disbelieving stare to look at Duke. “Would you like lunch before you go?”
“Gee, I’d love to, but I do need to get back to the station here in a few minutes. Maybe some other time.” His cheeks tinged pink as he looked at her. “Maybe I could take you out sometime.”
Rarity licked her lips. “Oh. I see.” She took a deep breath and smiled at him. “That’s a lovely offer, Duke, but I don’t believe I can accept. Though perhaps a friendly meeting if we’re ever in the same town again wouldn’t be amiss.”
He nodded. “Alrighty, Miss Rarity. I guess I’ll see you when you come to Appleloosa again.” He smiled at Sweetie Belle. “Nice meeting you.”
Rarity saw him out, sighing as she shut the door. Really, though, we just would not have worked out. I swore off cowponies after that fiasco with Macintosh.
“He never did tell me how those vests worked out,” she mused as she walked back into the kitchen. She stopped as she watched Sweetie Belle. The girl held a slice of bread in her hoof, staring at it intently. “Is everything okay, Sweetie?”
Raising her eyes to look at Rarity, Sweetie Belle shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t tell if I’m not hungry, or if it’s just my brain tricking me into thinking it. I know I have to eat anyway, but…I just don’t know.” She licked her lips.
With a frown, Rarity walked over and stood next to her sister. “Well, I believe your therapist said to figure out your emotional state, correct? Are you upset about anything?”
Sweetie Belle bit her lip before nodding her head. “You could have said yes to him. I can survive you dating.” Looking back at the bread in her hoof, she sighed. “You deserve a nice special somepony, so you can be happy. Like you’ve always talked about.”
With a smile, Rarity put her hoof under Sweetie’s chin so the younger girl would look at her. “I am happy. I don’t need a special somepony in my life to have that. Duke and I aren’t the right fit.” She moved her hoof, starting to assemble her own sandwich. “Besides, I have a pony in mind. It’s just a bit of a scary thing to admit, even to myself.”
“Well, who is he?”
A faint pink tinged Rarity’s cheeks. “I am not telling you who he is until I’ve figured things out myself.”
Sweetie groaned. "Come on, throw me something." Sweetie gave a self-assured grin. "Is it Big Mac?"
Rarity felt her blush darken. “Who it is isn’t important. Come now, you said you wanted to visit our parents. Eat up.”
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This reads as She is is not okay. Just a minor thing. And yay, update!
And ohh, the reveal!
congrats on the feature!
6916809 Thank you for pointing that out, I've fixed it. What did you think about the reveal? I know you initially thought it was diabetes. Also, featured? I missed it!
6916861
i think the reveal was a really nice idea, can't wait to see where you go with it! Oh, you missed the feature? Who knows, maybe you can get back up there!
It's Applejack.
So it was Bulimia. I sort of figured as much. I'm really pleased with how this story is evolving.
6916980
6916981 I'm glad you like it!
Touchy subject to write about, so far so good.
Rarity's lesbian ships are with Applejack, Fluttershy and Coco... as far as personality and chemistry go.
6917151 I know it's touchy, and I honestly didn't expect it to garner this much attention. My stories usually don't. I am glad that everyone seems to be enjoying the read and be invested in what's happening. Thank you. :)
6917208
I think you're missing at least one, there.
Wow... I was WAY off.
6917258
So far you are treating the disease with respect, and I look forward to seeing how you handle it in the future.
6917267 Just a bit.
That was a guess I hadn't thought I would get, but you were not the only person that thought it.
6917268 I hope I don't let you down with the next two chapters, then, my friend.
6917258 If you're thinking Twilight, I doubt that.
6917289
I'll be watching this story. Best wishes my friend.
6917292
Well, she is certainly a contender, as are a few more ponies from the show.
6917300 Thank you muchly. It'll be updating Thursday (should all go well) around the same time.
Phew. Here's hoping the parental drama gets some kind of resolution, because it threatens to turn into - well, not a millstone exactly, but I find it more than a little distracting. Sweetie's struggle and her and Rarity's parental issues each would be enough to carry a story - I'm not sure this one needed both those plotlines, and honestly, since there's little evidence in canon for the parental issues, it comes across as shots fired against characters the author dislikes rather than a plot element the story actually requires to work.
Well. We'll see where this goes. Still tracking this, after all, so it does hold my interest.
6918099 It is, although I think the lack of presence at events surrounding Sweetie Belle in show are more than enough evidence. The next chapter does address the scene, though, and probably gives more context to Rarity's outburst, what with the stress she had felt the last few days and Sweetie's confession. I am unfamiliar with the term millstone, though, so I'm not sure what you mean by that, as I'm sure it isn't a literal millstone. But part of Sweetie's struggle has to do with not feeling good enough for her parents. She loves them and wants to see them, as she's going to visit at the end of this chapter. (Sorry if this isn't entirely coherent, I'm having to type it on my phone.)
6919914 I meant "millstone" in the sense of a part of the story that doesn't feel especially integral to it and that drags the story down with it (similar to what would happen if you jumped in a river with a millstone around your neck). And if the lack of parental presence at important events is any indication, it's not just Rarity's parents who might as well not be there (or be completely indifferent to their children), but half the Mane Six's - apart from the Hearth Warming Eve at Pinkie's family rock farm and Twilight's parents (I think) being there at the wedding, none of them appear particularly interested in their families onscreen. Applejack's parents at least have the excuse of being dead, which is as close to canon as it's ever going to be, I think, but we've never seen any signs of Fluttershy's parents, and RD's dad has only been seen in flashback, IIRC.
Ah well. Your universe, your rules. As I said, it's nowhere near bad enough to make me quit. I'm curious where this goes next.
I was right. I knew what it was when she was looking in the mirror in chapter one. Poor Sweetie, eat a sandwich. If she wanted to make Rarity proud, dying is definitely not going to achieve that.
This has gone from being too slow to being far too fast.
Having had a person in my life with anorexia reading this is actually giving me the chills. It's bringing me back to talks with that person and peeling back the layers to see the anger, insecurity, and self-loathing underneath. For that this story is doing a good job. Can't wait to see where it goes next.
Oh, Sweetie...
I know I'm supposed to jump from having this reveal to the next mystery - who is
Slade'she'? - but... I think Sweetie still needs a watchful eye over her.Should be "Sweetie will see you at her convenience."
You meant "convenience," right?