Happiness Is What You Make Of It

by Nameless Narrator

19

It's Monday, and I'm all good again. Under careful observation, I was allowed to do some walking and later running and jumping. Also, they made me stand on my hind legs and spin around with a hoop around my barrel. Heh, I'm not too coordinated, as it turns out, and my head kept spinning as I bumped into the nurses. Anyway, after two days of these recovery treatments which surprised the doctors, I was deemed completely fine and allowed to roam the gardens. It was freezing cold, windy, and snowing all the time, but I spent several hours there anyway because it felt so refreshing after being locked up inside for a week. I even helped some warden on duty sweep the snow away from the walkways, I was just so excited to be out again. He shared with me his tea afterwards, happy to be done with the sweeping and taking a break in a tool shed in the corner of the gardens. It was delicious, and warmed me up instanly. As he admitted later after a short chat about the reason for me being here and his experiences with Border Glades, it was because he added rum to it. I'm not sure if I'm allowed alcohol while I'm here, but I didn't ask anypony in case that would cause trouble to the warden.

Anyway, I didn't feel sick, only a little sleepy so I went to bed earlier. No big deal. Speaking of mind-altering substances, I've been given the yellow pills over the days, and honestly I don't feel any different now, and I didn't then. Either the effect is super subtle, or Quick Trick really is just a crazy pony and Clear Insight was right all along.

Or maybe... or maybe whatever Stitches wanted to do with me after I hurt myself worked.

I don't know what is real. Some part of me keeps telling me that believing the word of a paranoid patient over his psychiatrist is crazy, and maybe it's the healthy part of me. But part of me leans towards trusting Quick Trick, because a pony like Clear Insight capable of digging in your head can make you think anything he wants. Also, the final part believes that a plushie conducted an experiment that would allow me to ignore possibly completely imaginary mind-controlling chemicals in pills.

Why can't I clearly decide which one is it?

Cause I'm a dummy, that's why. Real ponies don't have problems like this, and this is just another proof that I should go my own way and not bother others because I'm not even smart enough to work this one out.

So, time to stop worrying for and greet the new day and week. I've got a roof over my head, food and drinks aplenty, a friendly bartender who secretly allows me a bonus treat per day because he thinks I'm really nice, and there are ponies all around trying to help me figure out my possibly deadly plushie problem. And they'll be able to, because they are smart ponies with titles before and after their name. I even asked what the 'Btd.' behind Soothed Thirst's name meant, and whether he had gone to a university like all the doctors, and he whispered to me that it meant bartender, but that he felt really dumb in here without a title, so he made one up. He's a genius, what more can I say? Maybe I can be Greyscale Ptt as in patient, or Ptt Greyscale Bh - broom handler.

Life is good.

*Knock knock knock*

Who could be it this early? The breakfast isn't for nearly two more hours, and most patients are usually asleep at this time of day anyway, even I am. I just woke up early for some reason, and fresher than ever. It must have something to do with yesterday's outside adventure and going to bed early.

*Click*

The opener doesn't wait for my answer, so I'll get the key ot this mystery soon enough.

A trio of stern looking wardens enter my room, and give me surprised looks as I greet them with a smile and a wave.

"Gud morneenk!"

"Uuuh," they hesitate, "You're up early."

"Ees dat a problem?"

Were they supposed to secretly prepare a surprise for me, like something to celebrate me recovering so quickly? Did me waking up ruin it for them?

The leading warden shakes his head after a moment of thought.

"Oh not at all, just come with us. It's time for your treatment."

"Okey. Ken Ai brush mai teeth first?"

"No, we're on a tight schedule in order to be done in time for you to get ready for breakfast."

Alright, as long as I have the chance to do it later.

"Lets go."

As we leave my room, I hear a warden's whisper:

"I've never seen anypony this happy to go down there. They usually bite and scream."

And one replies:

"I think he doesn't know what's going to happen. Must be his first time."

That's not true! I'm not smart but I can remember things. This must be the special treatment doctor Clear Insight told me about, the ice cream one. Ooooh, they must have wanted to wake me up and get me down there this long before breakfast so that I wouldn't be too full for it. AND THAT MUST BE THE CELEBRATION OF MY RECOVERY!

The ponies here are amazing.

"Doktor Eensaid told mee about d eyes creem."

"Eyes cream?" asks a warden, "Do you have eyesight problems?"

"Nou, d uan yoo eet."

"Oh, ice cream!" he shakes his head, but stops mid-movement, "No no no... actually, you got half of that right."

Ice or cream? Hmmm...

I don't bother them anymore, so that we can get to where we're going faster. As they unlock the door to the cellar complex under Border Glades, I recall the comment about biting and screaming. It's got to be a whole cake. Of course, you bite it, there's cream inside it, and you yell in excitement when you find out, but since it's winter they don't want to make patients ill so no icecream, that's why it was only half correct.

I've got you figured out!

With a triumphant smile, I enter a...

...white room with padded walls and several drains in the tiled floor. It's completely empty.

The wardens spread out as I walk around and lock the door. One of them unlocks a panel next to it, pulls out a hose, and aims a nozzle at me.

Umm, does it shoot cake?

"Wot doo Ai doo heer?" I ask, "Were ees d c-AAAAH!?"

I recoil under the onslaught of freezing water that the warden sprays at me. The heavy pressure pushes me backwards until I hit the padded wall, and then it stops. Gasping for breath, I shake myself to get the water out of my coat.

Well, now I'm completely awake at least.

Noooow I get it. It's supposedly extra healthy to take a short dip in cold water to make the blood flow. This must be the final step to my full recovery. I don't feel bad at all, but they are the doctors here.

"Now, Greyscale, this is an old treatment based on negative reinforcement," I hear Clear Insight's voice coming out of the walls. Is there a radio somewhere? It's probably in the ceiling so that the water doesn't damage it.

So... another wrong assumption.

"Aim reely confyoozd rite nau," I look around for the intercom.

"I told you that the first step to dealing with voices is to refuse their existence. By force if necessary," says Clear Insight, "Now, did your plushie really talk?"

I'm not exactly sure how that ties up to showering.

"Ai told yoo hee deed. Hee said dat hee needed mai-BLRBLRLBLRL!"

The pressurized icy water hits me again, but this time I recover and not slide on the floor.

"I will ask again. Did Stitches talk?"

He must not be hearing over the noise of the running water.

"YES, HEE SAID-"

This time the spray is so strong it makes me slip and fall. It lasts longer, though so I decide to leave my explanation for later and scrub my mane instead.

The water stops.

"-hmmmm hummm hummm, hey!" I give the hose warden a questioning glance. I just needed a little more to wash my short mane completely. It can't be healthy to be in such cold water for too long, so I should finish the shower as soon as I can. Or maybe they're just trying to save water and the short and strong bursts are for health.

It's really inconvenient, though.

"So, Greyscale, I know you are a smart pony who has a control of himself. I know it is difficult to fight what is inside you, but you have to understand and work on it. One more time - did Stitches ask you to hurt yourself?"

I don't answer immediately. The wardens are watching me like snakes waiting to strike. As soon as I start talking, they'll start spraying. I need something to occupy them while I wash myself properly. Sooo... imagination, GO!

"Steeches ees an ausum nitegaard-blrbllr!"

Alright, mane is done, now scrub behind the ears like a good and clean pony you are.

"Hees an old buddee of Eklips' dad woo ees supposd too protekt her-"

Scrub scrub, barrel, chest, neck. I'm getting a little cold, though.

"Hee nau looks laik a plushee so dat hee is stealthee and can protekt Eklips unseen-"

Aaaand back. It would be easier if they gave me a backscratcher or something. I should ask them for it next time. I'll be ready.

The biting cold water makes my legs a little numb, but I keep scrubbing everywhere I can reach.

"Hee ees also an ausum chemeest, but has hard taim mooving becaus hees a plooshee-"

Nooow, how to do my underhooves properly?

I shove both forelegs straight into the icy spray. Yep, that'll do.

"And Steeches will uan day help Eklips faind d best ponee to stay wit her and protekt her instead. Den hee will transform bek into a betponee and hev a dreenk wit her dad as a job well dun."

And Eclipse's coltfriend will be strong, smart, rich, and will know princess Celestia personally, or maybe even the new princess Luna. Basically, take me and imagine the exact opposite. Yeah, he'll be cool like that.

I realize there is no more cold water and I'm currently mooning a trio of wardens.

"Ees d shower over? Ai need too feeneesh mai tail."

The nozzle falls from the hose warden's hooves.

"SHOWER?" he raises his voice, "My hooves are freaking FREEZING, and I can barely feel my hind legs. Are you making fun of us you crazy-?"

"EHM!" Clear Insight's voice comes from the intercom, "Greyscale, we seem to have come to a misunderstanding. What do you think is going on here?"

Misunderstanding? Well yeah, I thought there would be cake, but shower is cool too. Although I'm shivering a little at this point. I think we took too long, but next time I'll have a better story prepared.

"Ai teenk dis ees a kold shower dat shud meik mee smarter and helthee, so yoo meik mee meik up stuff on d spot and yoo sprey mee wit woter so dat mai blood starts floweenk. Soree Ai failed eet, but Ai needed onlee a leettle more so dat Ai cud feeneesh mai tail."

The lengthening stunned silence makes me a bit uncomfortable. Still, as I stomp the floor a little, I can feel heat rushing up my whole body. The treatment is working already. I feel great!

"So... ees d shower over?" I ask hesitantly.

"You- you want m- more?" asks Clear Insight's bodyless voice, "Are you not freezing?"

I shrug.

"Not reely. Ai yoosd to teik a bath every morneenk up een uan Canterlot fawnteen. Eet wos much colder end d wind meid eet reely painful sumtaims. Ai laik eet laik dis a lot more."

One of the wardens starts beating his head against the wall. The padding on the wall makes it so he'll be fine, no need to worry.

"Umm, ken Ai get a soap nex taim? Det wud meik it much faster."

Another warden groans, unlocks the door, leaves, and closes it behind him. A second later I hear a muffled scream.

"Eef eets a problem Ai ken teik d uan from mai room."

The sound of something hitting something fleshy comes from the intercom.

"Alright, wardens, please, put the equipment away and send somepony to clean up. I believe this is not the way to go. One of you escort Greyscale back to his room."

Whimpering, the warden previously spraying me rolls the hose back onto a winch and slides a panel over it, hiding it inside the wall. Then he pats the shoulder of the head beating one who whimpers and looks at me with exhausted stare. As we leave the room, I notice all of them shaking, sniffling, and chattering their teeth. I guess it must have been freezing inside for somepony not used to it like I am.

One of them sneezes.

"Tank yoo for riskeeng yor helth to help mee," I give them an apologetic smile.

How they managed that well synchronized eye-twitch is beyond me.

"W-w-w- why m-m- me..." one whimpers.

Poor guys, I hope they pay them well. I should ask Watchful when he comes back from his longer weekend.

***

When I'm almost done with breakfast, I stare at the small plastic cup with four pills on the table. Ever since my chat with doctor Insight in the infirmary when I decided to face my fear head on, I've been taking the yellow pills and have felt no different from normal. As more and more time passes by from the event, I'm leaning towards doctor Insight's diagnosis of my insecurity and fear running amok.

One by one, I take the pills and wash them down with my remaining orange juice until only the dreaded yellow one remains. Shaking my head like every time I think too much about the possibility of it doing something unnoticeable, I take that one as well. No sudden desire to obey, no dizziness, no foggy mind. In fact, the best way to explain it is by saying it did exactly nothing.

Like always.

I sigh and leave the lunch room. There is nothing more scheduled for me until late afternoon, as doctor Insight said he thought I would be recovering from the morning treatment. I guess I ruined his plan somehow, I don't really know how. Aimlessly strolling through Border Glades, I end up in the common room where Soothed Thirst is cleaning glasses behind the bar as usual, few patients I haven't talked to are sitting around and reading newspapers, and where Quick Trick is sitting in his corner with his pinboard, frantically scribbling something on a piece of paper in his hooves.

What is real? What is right?

The pink, grey-maned unicorn notices me looking his way and waves me over. Shrugging, I accept his invitation. It's not like I have anything better to do and I could use some more clues to decide whether to trust him or doctor Insight.

"Hey hey hey, Greyscale," he pats my back as I sit down on the chair next to him, "Why so gloomy? You look completely out of it today- oh no, don't tell me they got you too."

"Got mee?" I ask, staring at Trick's paper filled with crossed out words, "Dey deedn't get mee anyteenk. Eets not eevn mai berfdei."

Huh, I wonder when my birthday is, actually. I don't recall anything about it, so I could count it as the day I woke up in my alley. That means I have almost a whole year before I can get a present, though.

Awww...

Can I just say my birthday is today? No no no, no cheating. Anyway, dummies shouldn't lie because they'll forget and be caught later. I must be as honest as I can. No plotting, no intrigue, no lies, not again.

"I mean," he leans over to my ear and whispers, "Did they get you to eat the yellow pills?"

"Yes, dey deed," I nod, "Dey dont doo anyteenk. Ai tink."

"Hmm that's weird. Care for a test?"

"Ai deednt studee. Noponee told me dere wud bee a test."

"I didn't mean-" he stands up and pulls my foreleg, "Nevermind, just come to the window."

I follow the twitchy pony to the glass wall with the view of the gardens. He looks me in the eyes, then forces me to open one as much as I can with his hooves. I keep watching his tail swishing from side to side.

"Hmm, pupils not dilated, reaction time substandard but within norm," his horn flashes, making my eyes dart upwards, "adaptation to light normal," he gives me a confused look which quickly gives way to a happy deranged smile, "Congratulations, Greyscale, you are still a clear thinking pony."

"Tank yoo for d compleemint, but Ai dont nou wot ees reel and rite."

We sit back down, Trick ignoring his writings for once and looking at me, unusually focused.

"What do you mean?"

Not like it's a secret, so I tell the unicorn everything that has happened concerning my unfortunate stabbing of myself and my recovery under doctor Insight's observation.

"-end Ai dont feel eny deefferent after teiking d peels so Ai dont nou eef yoo are crayzee laik mee or wot. Both of yoo sound smart and troothfull to mee, but uan of yoo cant bee and Aim too dum to nou woo."

I half expect to be subjected to a rant of some sort about him not being insane or belonging here, but instead Trick just puts his forelegs under his chin and sighs. His voice is calm and very quiet.

"Yes, Clear Insight has one hell of a poker face."

"Yoo meen hee cleens hearths wit his horn? Dats weerd."

Trick facehoofs.

"No, I mean he is an extremely skillful psychiatrist and an excellent liar. He's been fooling the entire Canterlot grants committee for over a decade."

"Dats a bit over mai hed, Ai teenk."

"You are absolutely correct, my simple friend," Trick raises his voice again and gives me a conspiratory wink, "but I know something that isn't. How would you like to get your confiscated plushie back?"

"Steeches ees not confuzzlocated, hee ees smart. Ai em confyoozd."

"I said confiscated, not confused. That means taken away."

But he tried to hurt me. No, he didn't. I tried to hurt myself, the plushie is just a present from a pony who thought I was her friend. There's nothing bad about the stuffed batpony, and as such there's no reason to keep him away from me. If the voice tells me to hurt myself again I can just say no. Easy. No bad voice will sully the gift from Eclipse.

"Aid laik dat."

"Excellent. However, nothing is free, and I'll tell you where Stitches is and tell you how to get there only if you do something for me first."

After a quick summary of what I'm good for, I offer him a deal.

"Ai ken bring yoo joos. Doo yoo laik orenj uan?"

"Hahahah, good one. No, I want you to get me some documents from Clear Insight's office."

"Ai dont wont to cause truble for anyponee. And steelink ees wrong."

"Is that a no then?"

"Soree," I shake my head. I'll just have to wait until they return Stitches to me on their own.

"Okay, and what about just reading the documents for me? I tell you what to look for, you find it in his office, read it, and report to me what you remember. And when you steal- take back your plushie, you can watch him in case he tells you to do bad things again, right?"

That doesn't sound too bad.

"Alrait, but wot doo Ai tell doktor Eensaid?"

"Don't worry. He works with you in person, right? When is your next session?"

I present my patient necklace to Quick Trick and ask:

"Mejic lokkit, wot shud Ai doo todei?"

The pleasant mare voice of the necklace answers:

"Inkblot therapy session. Doctor Clear Insight's office. Third floor. Six o'clock. Therapist - doctor Clear Insight."

"Dere yoo hev eet."

"Yep," Quick Trick looks at the mess of papers on his pinboard, "I know what we'll do. I'll cause a distraction that'll have to be big enough to lure Insight away from the office mid-session. That's gonna be interesting," he turns back to me, "Anyway, I need you to find shipping manifests and supply lists. Anything about drugs or pills brought here. The originals will be locked somewhere, but he has to have either a copy or a compact version."

"Eny aideeya were Ai shud luk? Dere ees always a lot of paypers."

"It's not going to be among the things he'll be needing for the therapy session, of that I'm sure. His office is full of drawers and shelves, try to find and check some binders. Just read them and try to remember as much as you can. We'll meet here after dinner and hopefully put something useful together."

"Okey."

"Great, now shoo! I don't want anypony to think we're working together."

Leaving the conspiracy theorist alone, I go to the bar and order a drink. I feel experimental so I go for something green called a kiwi.

"I see old Trick has been bothering you. Most other patients avoid him," Soothed Thirst strikes up a conversation.

"Hee tolks a lot. Ai dont understand him much."

"Yeah, he tried to persuade me one time that the short rain showers are just weather pegasi on duty taking a leak. I have a friend who works up there and it's nonsense. They have these special super absorbing clouds they can use if they need to go and there's no other way."

"Wot doo dey doo wit dose?"

"Huh... I never asked. Probably better for my mental health. Anyway, if Trick bothers you too much, I can tell him to stay in his corner."

"Eets fain. Ai laik listeneenk too d raydio, and hee ees laik uan."

"Just don't take him too seriously, or you'll end up with tin foil hat on your head."

"Ai laik umbrellas bettr."

"Heh, yeah," he shoots Trick a dark glance and then smiles at me again, "Want a candybar?"

Soothed Thirst is a great guy.

***

"Dats a bunee."

"Next one."

"Dats a blob. Eet doesnt look laik anyteenk."

"Alright. Next one."

"Too ponees yeleenk at eech udder."

"Mhm, next one."

"Anoder blob. Cud bee a smooshed jellyfeesh."

"I see. You're making progress, albeit in an interesting direction," comments doctor Clear Insight, "Let's keep going and see where it takes-"

The silence of the office is interrupted by a high-pitched scream audible through the padded door. It escalates quickly into chaos and... explosions? I hear somepony calling for unicorn help, and get up from my chair. Clear Insight gestures me to stay sitting, and gives me a calming smile.

"I will be right back and we can continue our session."

"Okey."

As he opens the door, all I see is a blur which makes him disappear. Like a good and peaceful patient I am, I shut the door again, ignoring the chaos of colours and screaming outside. It doesn't seem harmless like I expected, but this must be Quick Trick's distraction.

Where to look? Where to look? He said somewhere not related to our business.

There's the couch and the doctor's desk in the middle of the room. A bookshelf next to the door filled to the brim with books and magazines which on a closer look all belong to the medicine category - all published research papers. The coathanger and umbrella stand on the other side reveal no secrets either. It's time to delve deeper, namely into the metal filing cabinets from which Clear Insight pulled out a stack of papers regarding me.

One by one, I skim through the wallside towers of documents and skip those which seem like patient files.

Oh hey, there's a safe behind a pretty drawing of a pony in the woods! I can't open it, of course, but at least I know it's there.

"Ah hah!" I mumble, finally getting to a paper folder on a corner table next to a comfy armchair. It looks as if somepony tossed it there in a hurry, making me think doctor Insight had a prolonged session with his previous patient and didn't have time to put this one where it belongs.

My victorious smile fades instantly.

"Taumometaterazeen? Paracetamolum? Coffeen? Guayf- guy- guifa? Ibooprofeeniem? I cant reemember dat! Somateek eenfyooshuns... sevn kainds."

Well, I guess this is what Quick Trick wanted, but there is no way I'll be able to tell him all the crazy names on command. What can I do? I'll just have to tell him I wasn't smart enough to do what he wanted me to and wait until they give me Stitches back.

The door clicks and I shove the folder back on the table, trying to look inconspicuous while watching a wall on which there are doctor Insight's framed diplomas. Psychiatry, psychology, chemistry, and some more certificates with long names.

"I apologize for leaving so abruptly, Greyscale," Clear Insight walkes over to me studying his credentials, "And even more for having to cut this session short yet again, but the event outside exhausted me greatly. I shouldn't be doing this kind of work at my age."

"Yor a reely smart ponee."

He looks at the framed diplomas as well.

"If I make a mistake while doing my job, I can destroy somepony's life. I have studied and worked long and hard to be where I am and have the desired effect on ponies who need my expertise."

"Aim glad Ai just sweep floors den. Wot happend outsaid?"

"One of our unicorn patients got startled by a change in our routine. Unfortunately, unicorns have the added problem that if their head is working against them, their horn is as well."

Quick Trick, what did you do?

"Deed anyponee get hurt?"

"No, no," Clear Insight sits down into his armchair and takes a deep breath, "The patient in question has incredible teleportation powers, and unfortunately even with a suppressor she just wanted everypony who scared her to disappear. Few ponies have some bruises from appearing right under the ceiling, but nothing serious. I am just tired because I had to use my magic against all raw power she possesses. I am not that much of a spellcaster, to be honest."

"Dats good."

"Definitely. Now, I hope you don't mind me rescheduling this session for tomorrow, because right now I feel like my head is about to burst."

"Alrait," I walk to the door, "Hev a good nite's sleep, doctor Eensaid. Eet always helps mee."

He smiles.

"I'll take that advice to heart, Greyscale. You go and enjoy the rest of the evening."

Leaving the office behind me, I return to my room to have a short rest. I must admit the chaos of broken furniture and scattered mess in the hall outside of the doctor's office made me a little scared, and a quick warm shower is exactly what Ptt. Greyscale B.H. ordered.

***

It's after dinner, and I'm headed back to the common room to find Quick Trick. I tried to find him there after my shortened session, but he wasn't around, so I just had a drink and chatted with Drizzle until it was time to go to the lunch room. She got really huggy eventually, and Soothed Thirst wanted to call a warden, but I just asked her to calm down and all we did was sit on a chair, she on my lap, and watch the snow falling down outside. She smelled a lot like sweat, and drifted off for few minutes, so I think she was tired from some exercises. That reminded me that I can once again join some classes so that my day isn't this empty.

Anyway, as I enter the uncharacteristically packed common room, I notice my unicorn target sitting at his corner table and giving all ponies who come too close unfriendly stares. That changes when he notices me coming over.

"So, what did you find?" he goes straight to business.

"Ai found a peipr wit weerd and funee neims, but den doktor Eensaid came bak. Neims laik okseemetazoleenee."

Contrary to my expectations, Trick doesn't tell me I'm an idiot, but actually thinks about what I said.

"No, that's the active ingredient in one kind nose decongestants. Any others?"

"Paracetamolum. Ibooprofeeniem. Guyf-sumteenk."

Still more thoughtful than mad at me for not remembering the things properly or finding more.

"General chemicals in pain meds," he shakes his head, "Wasn't there anything unusual, really weird?" he groans in what I presume is frustration, "Damn it, everything is weird to you."

"Soree, Ai just nevr herd neims laik dat befor," my hears perk up, "Rait, dere were sum somateek eenfyooshuns, caffeen, and taumo- taumometa- terazeen, trozeen? Ai nou dere wos zeen een eet."

Quick Trick stares, brows furrowed.

"Caffeine is in coffee, Greyscale. Infusions are finely ground up magical crystals or liquids which are added to the structure of pills. Somatic... WAIT! Wait wait wait wait... you might have stumbled onto something."

I look around and wave my legs hanging from the chair.

"Aim sitteenk, not wolkeenk."

"Why in Celestia's name would they be buying only chemicals instead of pills like everyone else? They have to be mixing the stuff themselves," his victorious smile fades, "But that isn't anything I can use. It's unusual, but not incriminating. Damn it!"

"Soree. But doktor Eensaid ees also a chemeest. D peipr een his offis sez so. Hee must nou wot hees dooing."

He leans over and pats my head.

"Oh he knows full well what he's doing, trust me. Anyway, you did what you could, no matter how little it was. Time for my end of the bargain," he gives me a plastic cut-off looking like a key, "This is a copy of a key that should get you to Lost and Found down in the cellars. That's where they keep your plushie. Just take the first door this opens and you'll be golden."

"Wooow. How deed yoo get eet?"

"The less you know the better."

Is that even possible? I am THE expert on knowing too little.

"Dat meens Ai em d best!"

Trick gives me a surprised look which I answer with an excited smile.

"Oh, and by the way," Quick Trick adds with a shifty grin, "in case you find something chemistry related by some strange accident, just let me know."

"Okey, Ail bee going nau."

"Don't get caught."

I rush off, the strange key shoved under my tightly fitting talking collar. I wonder how it can fit to the main cellar entrance and the Lost and Found as well, because last time I was around it was with the wardens and they had a full keyring. Anyway, when I wander down the stairs, careful about being seen, I push the key into the cellar door. It resists a little, but eventually slides in and even successfully turns.

Entering the long, dimly lit hallway with doors on all sides, I close and lock the one behind me. Upon a more investigative examination, I notice the plastic key looks a little different from the ones Watchful used. While it has generally the same shape, some of the teeth are thin and feel as if they can fold under pressure without breaking, so they might adapt to fit into more kinds of locks.

Anyway, no time to waste. Nopony should be around for a while, because it's after dinner and not late enough for bed. That means no nurses or wardens coming for fresh bedsheets or food supplies for the kitchen.

So, the first door this key fits.

Applying a little force to lock after lock yields no results, until the key slips into one near the end of the corridor and turns. A small slider above the lock spins along with the key and its red colour changes to green.

"Hmmm..." I mumble to myself. I don't know how the Lost and Found should look, but this room is full of unlabeled crates. Maybe they store all confiscated things inside? Some of them are small, some could easily hold a pony or two.

I slide the top off of one already open and pull out a clear bottle of something green and gooey. The label on it reads simply - Changeling venom. Shrugging, I put it back and look into another open crate which contains the same kind of bottles.

Where could Stitches be? Did they melt him and turned him into goo?

STITCHES!

In a bout of sadness, I sit with my back towards the wooden crate and cover my face with my hooves. What is Eclipse going to think when she finds out? She'll yell at me and call me an idiot. She'll say that it would have been better for me to get turned to goo instead. It'll be just like the time the barracks caught fire.

*Click*

The sound of door opening breaks my onset of misery and I roll behind the crate on pure instinct of a cornered animal.

"What idiot left this open?" growls a voice belonging to Chiseled Chin.

Damn it, she knows about me!

"I swear to Celestia I'll break their freaking muzzle."

The heavy hoofsteps get closer. I shove a hoof into my mouth to stop the incoming whimper.

"Hmph!" I hear an angry huff, and Chiseled Chin stomps away, turning the lights off and locking the door behind her.

In complete darkness, I have enough time to whine my fear away, calm my jackhammering heart down, and take a deep, slow breath. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but eventually I shuffle towards the light switch again and continue my exaimnation of the room's contents.

Nothing. All crates which are open -all three of them- contain the already found bottles, and I can't get into the closed ones without a crowbar which would make noise, mess, and leave a clear trace that somepony was here. However, the fruitless examination passess time, and I eventually gather enough courage the unlock the door and shove my head out into the now dark corridor. The plaque on the door of the room I've just left just reads "Storage".

Perhaps I should have read that first, but instructions are instructions.

Oh, changeling venom. Right. I have no idea what a changeling is, but I heard from the radio that scorpion venom is commonly used as a mild paralytic or calming agent in medicine. Perhaps the other thing is just a cheaper version. It's a wonder how much easier it is to think when not in danger of having my muzzle crushed by an angry hydra.

The key doesn't fit the next door, nor the one after it, but the third one allows for a satisfying click, and when I turn the lights inside on, I read the "Lost and Found" metal plaque on the door. Quick Trick must have made a little mistake when getting this key.

With the door safely closed behind me, I look around. There are a lot of various things, trinkets, jewels, and a big box of stuffed toys.

"Steeches!" I whisper as I pull the batpony plushie out of the semi-full box, "Yoo werent lonelee," I poke the nose of a different red unicorn toy inside the box, "So manee frends. Tank yoo all for keepeeng Steeches companee."

Unsurprisingly, they don't answer, but I know they got the message. With Stitches safely lodged on my back, I leave the room, lock it behind me, and rush out of the cellars altogether. Carefully looking in all directions in case I spot somepony who knows I shouldn't have Stitches on me, I make my way to my room. Safely inside, I take a breath of relief and put the plushie on the bed.

Pointing my hoof at my face and then at Stitches, I say:

"Aim wotching yoo!"

No more illusions. If he talks, I'll be on my guard and find out if it's my crazy head or a smart plushie guardspony.

Wait, I should return his key to Quick Trick.

After a quick trot to the still full common room, I'm sitting at Trick's table again.

"Aim heer to geev dis bek," I offer him the key.

He puts it into a small pouch hanging on his neck.

"Did you find your toy- friend?"

"Ai deed, but Ai got eento a wrong room ferst."

"Really," with no sign of surprise, he gives me a small smile, "What room?"

"Sum storej. Eet wos full of weerd bottles of shen-jee-leenk venim. Wot ees a shenjeeleenk?"

Trick closes his eyes, eyebrows furrowing in deep thought.

"A... changeling?" he finally deciphers my broken speech.

"Dats wot Ai sed. D haidra wos reely mad sumponee got eensaid, but deednt see mee."

He levitates a red tack his pinboard is full of, and carefully pushes it into a central picture of the spiderweb.

"I'll be going, Greyscale," he stands up, leaving his whole board propped against the wall.

"Bai bai," I wave.

"Have fun with your plush friend."

And so, I'm left alone with his pinboard. I'm sure he'll come back for it soon. I lean closer to look at Quick Trick's confusing creation.

In the middle there is a photo of doctor Clear Insight, the tack running straight through his forehead.

Comments

[Thought Prism]

I slide the top off of one already open and pull out a clear bottle of something green and gooey. The label on it reads simply - Changeling venom. Shrugging, I put it back and look into another open crate which contains the same kind of bottles.

UMM

Wow. I welcome this new direction the story is taking. Also, that scene with the 'shower' was hilarious.

[Nameless Narrator]

7924206 I'm sure there is a good explanation for everything.

[Nameless Narrator]

7976816 Nope.

[StarzGecko]

7977207 Help is coming

[Nameless Narrator]

7977947 Next chapter sometime in March.

[Nameless Narrator]

7978508 I wonder...

[StarzGecko]

The shower was hilarious

Also... Is it me or is this place run by Changlings!!

[Nameless Narrator]

7979215 Next chapter will finish off the asylum part, so there will be answers later.