Happiness Is What You Make Of It

by Nameless Narrator

12

I don't want to wake up, it's so warm and comfy here, and I feel as if I was awake all night. My body isn't used to this new place and so I must have slept super lightly. It'll get better over next few days, I am sure.

The knocking on my door, unfortunately, doesn't allow me to remain in my coccoon of warmth and comfort.

"Steeches? Steeches?"

No answer.

He must be tired from standing on watch the whole night. Even Guard plushies are amazing! On top of keeping me safe from night terrors, Stitches somehow managed to get rid of the yellow pill of the amphora-meta-thingies. My new soft companion is resourceful beyond all measure.

"Wot did yoo doo all nite, Steeches?" I try one more time. When the plushie doesn't answer I sweep him off the table and put him on my back.

Whoever was knocking gives it another try. A quick trot over reveals the worried face of Watchful.

"Good morneenk, meester Washfool," I bow to him, "Deed Ai oversleep or sumtink?"

After all, I have no idea how it works here. Yesterday was fairly eventful, but in the chaos I didn't get any sense for the life of this place.

Watchful leans from side to side, examining me all over.

"How are you feeling, Greyscale?"

"Okey. Itchee but okey. Taird too," I yawn. It really feels as if I had no rest at all.

"You must be just getting used to a new environment," Watchful walks through my entire room including the bathroom, carefully scanning every nook and cranny, "Looks like everything is alright. Don't worry about feeling a little out of it. I know what'll make you feel better."

"Wot?"

"Breakfast," he gives me a wide smile just as my stomach rumbles.

"But Ai-" I stop, remembering that my stay here is free. I don't need money. I correct myself, "Det wud bee nais."

"Are you taking the plushie with you?"

"Steeches gards mai bek!" I nod. The little Nightguard must be exhausted, but I don't feel like leaving him here alone. Perhaps we'll find out that magical talking plushies can also eat, who knows? Watchful chuckles.

"Then come on, Chiseled Chin prescribed a light breakfast for you today. Since you are new here and we don't have a good grasp on what's ailing you aside from not remembering anything, you'll go through a set of simple tasks that will tell us something. The first one is light exercise that will prepare you for your amnesia treatment. If you choose to keep doing it daily, she'll change your meals accordingly so you're not hungry until lunch."

Wooow, my own meal plan. This place sure is something.

Nodding, I follow Watchful in his white shirt through the clean and fresh hallways of Border Glades. It's barely light outside, but winter is winter. From time to time, I spot a still sleepy patient walking like a zombie towards the cafeteria. It looks like only the new ones like me or the problematic patients need oversight.

"You know, Greyscale, I'm really sorry," Watchful says out of nowhere.

"Huh? Wot for?" I blink. Watchful has been nothing but nice to me when we met yesterday. What would he be sorry for?

"For encouraging Pyre to use his power, to be himself. He clearly doesn't have enough self-control yet, and my wrong advice nearly scarred you for life. I should have listened to doctor Clear Insight who wanted Pyre to suppress anything revolving around his cutie mark until he got his obsession with fire under control."

What? No. Come on, you can't be so hard on yourself. I was the idiot who told Pyre he could try out his power on me. Thanks to your little gift the colt... no, just no.

"Nou!" I frown, shaking my head vigorously, "Payr was super happee wen hee tolked about yoo. Hee deed not laik anyponee else much, but yoo maid him smail. Keep maiking him smail! Just tell him not too yoos his fayr on ponees or himself. Eet hurt but Aim not eevn smoking nau. Eet wos worth eet to see him bee himself."

"He nearly burned you alive. What do you mean by 'worth it'?"

"Ai... Ai..." where are the right words when I need them? "Ai wud bee happee to bee on fayr if eet meant helping sumponee else. Payr deed not laik mee on fayr, he mite not doo eet again to anyponee."

"That's," Watchful sighs, "that's probably right. When I visited him yesterday he was so crestfallen he didn't even play with his trick matches," he shakes his head, "It might help him in the long run, but you can't put yourself in needless danger like that!"

I must disagree. My possibly permanent injury for somepony else's chance for healing is well worth it and definitely not needless. I mean, Pyre is a real, smart pony with a shot at a great future among wizards. The best I can do is clean floors, and I got the job only because I was cheaper than anypony else. The difference in value of life between us is indisputable. Watchful will understand when he gets to know me better. For now I shouldn't pursue a topic upsetting him.

"Soree," I mumble.

Watchful opens his mouth to say something, but decides against it and just pats my head. It feels warm and new, as if I've never been touched like this before. It's possible, who would bother touching me after all?

"I almost forgot," Watchful opens his saddlebag when we enter the lunchroom, and fastens something around my neck. Squinting down and twisting my head reveals it to be a yellow collar with a complicated symbol on the front, "It contains a magical crystal with information about your treatments and requirements. Right now, if you go and ask for breakfast, the serving lady will know what to give you. Give it a try."

I nod and trot over to the counter where two middle-aged mares are giving ponies in queue their morning specials. When I'm up, the collar flickers, some writing appears on a glass panel to the side, one mare reads it and brings me a salad and a glass of grapefruit juice. With a plastic tray in my mouth, I spot Watchful waving at me from a table and his own food.

The salad is delicious.

"I know it's not much," Watchful says inbetween mouthfuls of his vastly more fulfilling breakfast, "but it's just for today. If I were you I'd go get a snack at the common room after your incoming exercise."

"Ouphey," I mumble, one final piece of carrot still sticking from my mouth. I gulp it down and look at my empty tray, "Free food ees free food."

Putting the used tray away into a small window next to the counter for cleaning, I follow Watchful to our next destination. It is an open, airy room on the ground floor of Border Glades. Walls are painted with warm colours of light green and unobtrusive yellow, one entire wall is, in fact, a window leading straight into the gardens, and there are soft mats spread around on the floor in a tile pattern a little distance away from each other. The air smells fresh, although with the barest hint of sweat.

Looking at the mats strewn around, I have only one question:

"Shud Ai put dose away? Ees d treetment me kleening dis pleis?" I smile, realizing what the promised 'light exercise' meant. They made it so that I could feel as if I was back at the barracks wiping floors. These ponies really know what they're doing, I know I'm getting better already. Ehm, I'm still not sure what I'm being treated for, but Eclipse, Piercing Hit, and Grey Shrine wouldn't have sent me here for no reason.

"What? Of course not," Watchful dashes my hopes and dreams, sort of, "As I said, you and few other ponies are going to do some relaxing and stretching exercises before the amnesiac treatment. If I remember right the first session is hypnosis, so the doctor wants you to be a bit tired so you can go under easier."

"Ooooh. Smart," I nod, "Wen does eet start?"

"In about ten minutes. I took you here earlier so that you could get acquainted with this place. Ponies should start arriving soon."

"Ar yoo exorcizing too?"

"Exercising," he shakes his head, "No, but I'll be around when you're done to show you where to go next."

"Okey."

"See you in an hour, Greyscale."

"Hav a nais day, meester Washfool."

True to what the warden said, ponies arrive one by one and each one sits down on a free mat. There is ten of us, which means everypony can comfortably pick a spot without anypony else being nearby. The pony to arrive last is a yellow, white-maned pegasus mare wearing a scrunchie tying her mane into a ponytail and some sort of extremely tight but stretchy white leggings covering her hind legs and rump with a hole cut out for her tail.

She gives us a bright smile, and I sit down on my mat when the other ponies seemingly knowing the routine do so too. She plops her plot down on a wider, circular mat in front of us.

"Alright, I see a new face here," the leading mare checks her notepad, "Greyscale, am I right?" she looks at me questioningly.

"Yes, mem," I give her a polite bow. Some of the other ponies give me stares ranging from disinterested to mildly friendly.

"Since you are new here, we're going to do just a simple basic set of moves to get you started. You will progress with the rest of us very quickly, trust me. First, just sit down like me," she spreads her hind legs into a V and lowers her barrel down slowly, reaching forwards with her forelegs.

I put Stitches next to me on the floor and follow her example, but where she got her muzzle easily on the mat, I can barely bend.

"Umm, Greyscale?"

"Yes, mem?" I crane my head backwards to look at her.

"You're supposed to look at me, not at the back wall."

"Uhm, soree, mem. Yoo sed Ai wos too doo wot yoo deed."

She blinks, trying to make sense of what I said. Thankfully, she succeeds and snorts a little while covering her mouth. The ponies around chuckle as well.

"Yes, but you need to mirror what I'm doing. Besides, your neck would kill you if you had to look back at me every time we do a new stretch."

That makes sense. I turn to face her... just like everypony around has been doing since the beginning. Good to know even the ponies with less working minds are smarter than I am. Everypony can be my example and I can improve even faster! One day I might be just like them, or at least a little bit. I really shouldn't aim that high, though.

"Good," the lightbulbs on the ceiling reflect their light off of her wide, joyful smile, "Now follow my lead."

She bends again from the sitting position, this time in a complicated fashion to the side instead of forward.

"Owww!" I try to imitate her but something in my side feels like tearing.

"Don't force yourself, just go as far as you comfortably can, then go back. Slow and steady. Breathe in, breathe out."

Her calm voice leads me through the opening set, telling me when to breathe, when to move, when to relax. It feels so nice to just follow instructions for a while and shut my head down. Bit by bit, I slip into a training trance where the only thing on my mind are the reactions of my body to each new position.

"And now we'll do a final exercise which will be a little more difficult," she stands up on left hind leg and right foreleg, and stretches the other two legs forward and backward respectively, "Go as far as you can and try to hold it."

I wobble like a leaf in the wind, legs shaking and barely keeping balance.

"Nicely done, now switch!" I do so, "Aaaand hold again. It will be tiring, especially for our new member. Just focus and feel the burn."

"AAH!" I drop on all fours with a panicked yelp. I take a deep breath and try again, "Soree."

I would have never guessed simple words would have such effect on me, but just saying feel the burn evoked really vivid, fresh, and most importantly painful memories. Ah well, it's not as if she meant anything bad by it. This close to the end, I realize I'm trembling with exhaustion and that sweat is streaking through my coat. None of the exercises and stretches looked or felt too difficult, but I'm apparently in a sub-par physical shape.

But hey, the nice mare said I could get better with time, and she knows what she's talking about. In the end we just lie down, breathe regularly, and relax. The leading mare walks over and throws a clean white towel to me.

"For next sessions you'll need yours, but there are spares here in case that's not possible. Just put it in the basket in the corner when you're dry. Hope to see you tomorrow," she nods and leaves. Good news is that it looks like I wasn't the only one without their own equipment.

Soon enough, the hour is up, and I'm greeted by Watchful outside the door.

"How are you holding up?"

"Taird."

"You do look kind of smooshed. Good thing the next part is so relaxing then."

"Ees eet?"

"Yeah, I actually put myself on the list for the therapy once before when I was completely destroyed after moving an entire shipment of equipment to the cellars. I fell asleep right at the start of the session and woke up fresher than ever before. The doctor is really good."

"Wot deed yoo doo wail Ai wos strechink?" I ask as we walk upstairs. The hypnotherapy apparently takes place in one of the offices on the top floor. I'm slowly getting the hang of Border Glades' layout. The ground floor is for utility rooms - cafeteria, main gym, common rooms, any place where patients gather for one reason or other. The floors above house the patients, residents, and workers. The top floor consists of offices. There must be much more to it, but those are the traits I've noticed until now.

"Me? I just checked on some other patients, changed some sheets, and gave few less social patients their medicine. The daily stuff. My job is mostly walking around in case there's trouble and doing whatever anypony higher up on the ladder wants from me," he stops next to a door looking identical to that of Clear Insight's office. The brass plaque reads 'Dr. Expanded Mind Kfc. Lsd. Ddt. Omfg.' which means the pony inside must be super learned and smart, "That's the waiting room. Go in and wait for the doctor to call for you."

So it really is the exactly same thing as with Clear Insight. I nod to Watchful and enter. Yep, same sinfully comfortable leather armchairs, same wooden inlay on the walls, same large window overlooking the gardens.

An aging earthpony stallion in a clean, white shirt peeks out of the door leading to the office itself and waves me inside.

"Mister Greyscale, I assume," he asks, ushering me towards a soft and simple chair which leans back a little as I take a comfortable seat. After that, he wheels a canvas stand over in front of me. It is low, so I can see him over it with no problem.

"Yes, ser. Greyscale ees enuff, doe."

"Greyscale it is then," he takes a seat across from the canvas from me and takes a clear circular crystal out from a box on the table next ot his elevated armchair, "This therapy is very simple, although it might not reveal too much during our first session. All you need to do is listen, watch the crystal, and imagine the scenarios I'm talking about. How about that?"

"Sound seemple," I nod, relax my back, and wrap my forelegs around Stitches. He smiles, presses a button on the table, and a slow, quiet and soothing tune starts flowing through the room, almost physically running through my coat from my head to my legs. I breathe out.

"Now watch the crystal, Greyscale, and trust me. Together we will uncover what you forgot, and lead you through it," the crystal hanging on a chain fastened around his hoof starts swinging from side to side. Accompanied by the music and the doctor's soft voice talking about a blooming meadow with butterflies flying through it, I-

"Mhmmm."

-I hear a sharp clap and open my eyes.

"That was an enlightening session," Expanded Mind puts away a notepad I don't remember him picking up. Between the medicinal scribbles I spot an underlined word written in capital letters 'FEAR'.

"Wuh, wha?" I mumble in an attempt to unglue my mouth. Stitches is standing on the floor next to my chair and there is a simple drawing of stick ponies on the canvas in front of me. One stick pony in the center is clutching his head with his forelegs while numerous ponies surrounding him have lines coming from their muzzles aimed at him, yelling apparently.

Yes, add 'drawing' to the list of things a three-year old can do better than me. It's a long list.

"Deed Ai draw dat?" I examine the white paper full of lines penciled in.

"Indeed you did. While simplistic, this first session revealed that some event, or more precisely somepony, in your past terrifies you into the point of paralysis. That is by no means a unique circumstance, Greyscale. I have met with this many times before, and in our next sessions we will delve even deeper to discover more details. Don't worry, I will help you."

"Tank yoo."

"You're welcome. That is all for today. I will let nurse Chiseled Chin know when our next session will take place. Until then, Greyscale, take care."

"See yoo, doctor Ekspundeed Mined."

I fasten Stitches on my back again, wondering about where will Watchful take me next.

Comments

[Thought Prism]

, you're back!

[Nameless Narrator]

7398979 Yeah,
Thanks for still being here.

[ThyPrincessOfTheNight]

NEW UPDATE! NEW UPDATE! YAAAS! I'm so glad to see this back up and running, it's definitely one of my favorites. Keep up the good work!

[Nameless Narrator]

7400266 Thank you, I'll do what I can.

[Eldraneth]

After waiting so long I had to get use to translating his impaired speech agian

[Nameless Narrator]

7405125 I'm really trying to make it weird but understandable, but phonetic reading differs so much in all languages that it's so-so.

[Phazon]

'Dr. Expanded Mind Kfc. Lsd. Ddt. Omfg.'

Wtf?

[Nameless Narrator]

9908098
lol