Family? Friends? Country? Updraft, an Enclave officer undercover in the Wasteland, is forced to rethink his relationships with his old life and his new. And what will he do if the fates of ponies rest on his decision? Will he choose wisely?
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6734643
Veradon Chimera
Thank you for your feedback. One of the biggest challenges I had when I had the idea to write this was that I didn't want to recycle old ideas (stable pony in the wasteland, overly evil Enclave, etc) and I figured I'd write it from the point of view of a run of the mill Enclave soldier... I'm glad you found it fresh. Not to give any spoilers, and I should have done a better job with this, but this takes place some time before the events of the original FoE fic, at a time that the Enclave (presumably) is less genocidal. I will neither confirm or deny your guess on the General's motives.
I do appreciate the structural and character development feedback. This is my first attempt at writing fiction, so I will take any constructive criticism. I already have six chapters "ready" to go since I wanted to see if I could even write that much. Now that I know I can reasonably do that, I can focus on fixing other things.
Hopefully I can keep your interest as things progress.
Thanks again
This is neat! I see some promising work here, Fair. Though I wonder how ling did it take you to wrote this out? How did you come up with this idea? How did you stick with it?
Switchblade just posted that cover the other night, I was looking for the story :)
6735805
Thanks
I got the idea to write a story back in April or May... Originally, it started out as an Enclave soldier with amnesia story, but after looking at synopses of other stories, I felt the amnesia/memory loss/memory removal line was used a lot, and I wouldn't be able to do anything fresh with it.
Strangely enough, I got the idea about the embedded agent from an old episode of Star Trek : The Next Generation. I started writing again in the middle of the summer. Once the idea clicked in place, the first 5 chapters almost wrote themselves since I had so many ideas. I actually had to pare it down since I was doing too much. I was working with my prereader and adjusting since September-ish. I've been on a break since I was waiting for my cover art to be done so I could post.
For now, I am waiting to see the reaction to the first few chapters (and finding a new prereader/editor since my old one moved on to a new fic), so I can make adjustments as I see what's working and whats not. I have my plan as to where I want to go, but am open to changing it, if need be. I hope to post the remaining "ready" chapters over the next few weeks and start writing new ones too.
I'm glad you found it neat... I just hope I can keep it up.
6736002
Yeah.. Sw1tchbl4de just finished it for me... I've been waiting for it before I submitted my story to the site. As soon as I got the high-res version, I posted the prologue and first chapter for initial reactions.
I hope you enjoy the story
6736025 How much did it cost you to get the cover art?
interesting concept, will be wanting a bit more
6736848
Thanks... I'm glad you found it interesting. I will be posting the material I have ready over the next few weeks as I review them one last time while making revisions based on critiques I receive.
I hope it keeps your interest as the story progresses.
Good start if not a little predictable I like the main character and I could just picture Muddy wearing a shirt with this on it.
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