Pain and Suffering
(Before you guys ask, when I say football, I don't mean soccer ball)
James looked at Rainbow Dash.
“I never thought I’d say this, but ok Rainbow, I’ll stay” he said.
“Are you sure you want to lea…” started Scott “Wait you want to stay!”
“I don’t want to leave her and before you ask, we will need your help”
“So what’s the plan?”
The trio stood outside Pinkie Pies shed, now surrounded by rotting corpses. On the flight over, the trio saw that Ponyville and its surrounding countryside were completely void of zombies. They had all come together in a coordinated mass to attack Canterlot, perhaps they had more intelligence left then the group had realised, but it did not matter, they needed to die one way or the other. The zombies were now spread out around the nearby countryside of Canterlot. The trio entered the shed. The inside was as they remembered it, full of guns and weapons, enough to create a small army.
“Well what do we have here” said Rainbow Dash, walking over to what appeared to be a metal football shaped container with the ends opaque. They were about 30 centimetres long from end to end. James bent down and easily picked the ball easily, despite his usual weakness and the balls appeared weight. James noticed it had a faint dark purple glow emitting from it.
“So what is it?”
“It’s a pegasus bomb, they were last used one thousand years ago during the war against Nightmare Moon, they are activated by flipping a small switch on the side, once activated, pegasi would drop them out of the sky, after ten seconds, they explode and destroy anyone unlucky enough to be nearby” said Rainbow.
“Two questions, how do you know so much about it and why is it emitting a purple glow?” asked James.
“All ponies are taught about them in early high school. The bombs are infused with raw magic, to make the explosives far more powerful and to stop the bomb from breaking even after a millennia, this bomb is special as it appears to be infused with the magic of Nightmare Moon itself, the power in this bomb could blow up half a mountain”
“Really, then I think I have a plan” said James.
“What” said the others at the same time, James turned towards a shelf of flare guns and flare gun ammo. James holstered two Uzis in side holsters he now wore and chucked Scott a desert eagle, a flare gun and a backpack full of flare gun ammo. James had the Pegasus bomb in his own backpack. The trio left the building as James clipped on three grenades to a grenade belt. The duo jumped on top of Rainbow Dash and flew towards Canterlot.
“Wait, so what is the plan?” asked Scott.
“We land In through Celestia’s balcony thing they pushed us off, we kill all zombies inside the castle, we then barricade the castle and start firing flares off the balcony to lure all the stray zombies towards the castle, by the time they break through the barricades, the zombies will have become a tidal wave as the doors fall, when they reach us, we chuck the pegasus bomb into the crowd and fly off with Rainbow Dash”
“That’s actually a good idea” said Scott, “Well I guess we all have our firsts”
The trio finally reached Canterlot. Flying in through the balcony, they landed on the smooth floor.
“Who are you guys?” asked the leader of the suited ponies. Next to him stood two identically suited stallions, but they both wore fedoras unlike the leader whose brown mane could be easily seen.
“We are survivors of the guards from Canterlot” this was plainly obvious, they were white coated Earth ponies wearing the golden armour of Celestia. “We have come here as we know the humans who started all this are inside, as far as we know, this is the only way they can possibly get out, we have come to cut them off in revenge”
“Now normally, I would kill all three of you, I don’t like royal guards for multiple reasons, but that guy bucked up our base of operations and main source of income!”
“Then it appears my good sir, we have a common enemy” said the guard leader as they took positions around the entrance to Canterlot. “But what if they have a pegasus with them?”
“What pony would help humans who have put Equestria at the brink of ruin?”
“Rainbow Dash!” yelled James, looking over the a figure in the corner of the room which was slowly getting up, “Maybe we shouldn’t of landed here” said James, his voice shaking.
“Dear Twilight Sparkle, I want you to watch from your grave as I DEVOUR two humans and your one of your best friends!” yelled Princess Celestia as she extended her wings and flew towards the trio, sending Rainbow Dash flying backwards and James and Scott apart from each other. The two humans quickly rose to their feet and starting shooting Celestia, but the bullets bounced off her coat harmlessly.
“This is completely fucking useless!” yelled James as he rolled out of the way of Celestia charging him, reloading his two Uzis.
“We need something that can piece her skin!” screamed Scott. James had an idea, the “infinite” ammo clip that had been discarded along with the broken AK-47 now sat inside his right pocket. Celestia was hovering just off the balcony, preparing another charge, when James leaped off the balcony.
James didn’t make it onto Celestia’s back as she flew upwards to avoid him, James reached upwards and grabbed the end of her tail and held on for dear life. James was flicked violently around Celestia as she tried to throw him off. James was flung over Celestia as he finally lost his grip and for a moment he though this plan was his final misjudgement. Shortly afterwards however, he managed to land on Celestia’s back, much to her surprise. Quickly fumbling around his pockets, James picked up the “infinite” ammo clip and shoved it down Celestia’s throat as she attempted to bite James, James then pulled out a grenade pin and chucked it down her throat as well as she held her mouth open choking from the clip.
The reaction was instantaneous, Celestia started roaring into the sky and flew uncontrollably towards the balcony. James
was bounced off Celestia and bounced along the castle floor into Scott, knocking them both out as Celestia started having holes rip parts of her flesh off with bullets flying outwards as she fell down below Canterlot.
“Is what we are going to do justified, I mean I know they have done these things, but how do we know it wasn’t an accident or something?” asked one of the lower ranked guards to the guard leader.
“It does not matter, we have all suffered too greatly for them not to die, to think that with all the suffering they have brought, they are the ones least affected by all of this, having not suffered at all”
James opened his eyes slowly as the doors to the room were launched off of their hinges and sent flying inwards. Big Macintosh, covered in blood stood in between where they once stood.
“EEYEP!” yelled Mac as he charged at James who could not move, his body not fully having woken up yet, his Uzis out of reach. Just as he was about to smash into James, Rainbow tackled him out of nowhere, knocking him off his charge and sending them both sliding along the floor. Big Macintosh quickly shook Rainbow off and bucked her in the stomach twenty metres onto the other side of the room. Slowly getting up, she ran and tried to hit him with her hoof only for him to instantly appear to her side and buck her over the edge of the balcony.
She managed to steady herself in mid-air and used a sonic rainboom to send herself flying towards Big Mac, her front hoof ready to finish him in one shot. Just before the punch connected with Big Macs face, he lifted his front right leg up and used his hoof to slam her into a nearby pillar, completely redirecting her rainboom and sending her flying through three pillars, she landed limply next to a fourth pillar.
Big Macintosh turned his head as James fired his dual Uzis into his side, covering it in bullet holes. This only enraged Big Mac as he dived at James, who just managed to dodge out of the way, but lost his balance and dropped his guns. Big Mac span around and bucked him in the side sending him sliding off the edge of the balcony which he just managed to get a grip on the ledge. Instantly after kicking James he jumped at Scott who held his desert eagle up to shoot only to be hit sideways by Big Macs hoof, sending Scott flying and his gun sliding along the ground, falling off the edge and into James’s hanging hand. Big Mac ran up to James to push him down, as he looked over the edge he suddenly found a gun pressed up to his throat.
“NOPE!” blood flew from the top of his head as James fired into him, causing him to go limp and fall over and behind James, down into the abyss below. Scott walked over and helped James back onto the castle, where he immediately ran over to the still limp Rainbow Dash.
“James, I love you” choked Rainbow Dash as James knelt over her. James saw that her coat was matted with her blood, her wings bent in awkward angles. She went completely limp underneath James. He pressed his forehead against her side.
“She’s dead”
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I hope you have enjoyed the non comedy approach of the latest chapter, because that is what the next and final update to the story will be written like. I also hope you like my interpretations of zombie
and zombie 
Well, I disliked it, AND I can stay and tell you why. Otherwise, no constructive criticism = bad times.
One, I'm really not a fan of "bronies in Equestria" stories, especially ones that are pure parody. Taking cheap shots like this is just not to my tastes. I've seen satire, and this isn't it.
Two, the story is hard to follow and it's rushed for absolutely no reason. There's no pacing, the characters are unbelievable, and frankly, it's written fairly poorly.
Regardless of it being entirely intentional (which I can see it is), I, personally, am not a fan of this kind of work. Feel free to keep it up, though! No hard feelings, and I always enjoy a good laugh
766096 Well its good to know that someone actually bothers to explain why they hate my fic. And its good to know the reason you hate it is for the very same thing I was going for. I purposely rushed it not because I'm a terrible writer (although that was a factor
) but because I wanted for it to seem like the duo was constantly moving, never really staying in one place long enough for anything deep to happen, but long enough for them to fuck the whole place up 
766109
Exactly! I totally get what you're doing man, and I appreciate the good laugh. It's well worth the effort.
I don't hate it, though. If I did, I would've been a hell of a lot harsher and taken it way too seriously, and that's why I'm blessed with the ability to differentiate between BAD fics and PURPOSELY BAD fics
766118
The way you phrase it, its as if I wrote a troll fic.
Ironic fact, I wrote attempting to make a comedy that takes a playful punch at the people its written for in the sake of comedy (then I was convinced to make it 3.5x longer and had to make less playful punchs at bronies and more fucking with my friend who Scott is based off)
I expected however people to say exactly what you have said "this is a troll fic write?"
I need a picture saying "that depressing moment when your story is so bad people thought it was a troll fic"
)
then I got people saying "THIS IS SO BAD ITS GOOD!" so I basicly went, FUCK IT, if thats what they want, Ill give em what they want (then 3 or 4 more chapters
766128
Pffft. Not at all.
This is INDEED a "So bad it's good" fic in my opinion. Sorry if I gave off the impression that I thought it was a troll fic.
I respond to troll fics with confusion and rage, I respond to hilariously bad stories with a dislike and a pat to keep going.
766138 well if it makes you feel better, I've reading your clop fic while we have been in this comment convo
766140
Yeah I noticed. I suppose I can thank you for the read. Much appreciated!
766148
and thank you for the masterbation ad.
Congratulations, you are now disturbed, and I HAVE MY REVENGE FOR YOU INSULTING MY FIC MWHAHAHA.... wait, I commented your work, FUCK
766151
Pffft, Heheh. Dude, I've been supplying stuff like this for YEARS. It's practically what I do. Hell, I ENJOY the fact that people get off on stuff I write.
Disturbing me is a much tougher thing to manage, my friend, but thanks for your "revenge"
766158
It would be a bigger revenge if the convo was the other way round, since I have the problem of instantly imagining EVERYTHING I read, this can include the dirtiest youtube comments possible
So if you had said that to me, I probably would of imagined a awkward male teenager getting off in a dark room, with FULL detail
766164
Well, now you know how it feels like to be me, knowing that mental image of an awkward teenager getting off in the dark will never go away.
Too bad I don't care!
766171
Wait you've been doing this for years?
Do you mean you've been writing erotic stories for years or is this just your first clop fic put in fim fiction.
BTW, has the image of that youtube comment saying Justin Beiber probably fucks dogs gone away yet? it hasn't for meee
766179
I've been writing stories with adult content for about 4 years now. The story I'm writing right now is my first based on FiM, so I figured I would get an account here and post it. Turned out pretty well so far
And yeah, of course. Little things like that are immediately forgotten when it comes to people like me
766188
Well your dam good at Erotica, just got to Pinkie Pie and I just realised I'm commenting on your fic while on MY fics comment section
and to use the same gif used above for my fic
4.bp.blogspot.com/-HI1Unx4XR9E/TzhX6r3pFHI/AAAAAAAAAxs/0MKUrj89EJE/s1600/damn-good-stuff-sir.gif
766198
Heh, thanks. Keep in mind I didn't get good at erotica over night.
And yeah, if you wanna talk about it, let's take it to the comment section there instead of here
766203
But for a first time writing of anything, and I only made this because 1. I found so many stuipid things in MLP I wanted to mock 2. I wanted to (metaphoricly) fuck with my friend and 3. Listening for 6 hours straight "dont stop me now" on loop every day for 2 weeks messed with my mind.
Was my fic that bad really
766211
Nah, it's a fine first try, no worries. Having the talent to write and having a talent to mock and have fun are two different things, though.
Luckily for me, I have the capacity to do both
766217
So out of 6 rainbow dashs how good was my fics ability to mock and out of 6 Twilights how well was it written
PS. and on that last sentence, you have achieved my difficult to gain watching status, something few writers have achieved, these including the greats such as master drama writer Short Skirts & Explosions, master clop/ship fic writer Crowley and master of commenting and reading WildBerk
766224
, but if that's how you want me to put it in perspective for you, then...
for mocking
for well-written
Well that's a horrible way to judge things
and
766227 Its my comedy way of judging, 6 because thats how many emotes those 2 characters have (and mane 6 of course) Rainbow is for mocking, Fluttershy is for drama, pinkie is for pure humor, twilight is for well written ness, Applejack is for cloppyness
766229
Ah, perfectly understandable. But "Applejack for cloppyness" made me burst into laughter.
You sir, have made my day. Much appreciated.
and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on my story as it develops
766240
Applejack got "cloppyness" because the crowley fic: Her Whole Darn Heart was so fucking good, I DREAM of applejack now, not even in a sexual way... not always in a sexual way
BTW, derpy is for crossover ratings, ya know, becauses shes wall eyed
766244
Oh, right! I think I read that one long before I got an account on here. Good stuff.
767821
yes...very, very good stuff indeed
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/18009491.jpg
BTW people, if you don't like how the zombies say random shit with references to the show, I got the idea to do that from Alan Wake, except myn usually are sort of related to the current event.
801497 I hadn't played GTA IV is ages and not nearly as much as you had.
And anyway, I'm fixing it now
Sorry people for taking so long with the final chapters, its not because their long or hard to write, I just can't force myself to write something, I have to feel like writing. The last time I forced myself to write, I wrote chapter 3, the only chapter so far I am sorry for releasing onto fimfiction.
I have already finalized what I am going to write, just need to start. This motivational poster should explain the problem.
incomezombie.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/procrastination.jpg
Rainbow Dash can crash through a barn and hit the ground full force while moving at super sonic speeds but she can't go through some pillars without dying?
dafuq did i just read