Contradistinction
Isaac’s door was thrown open with such force that the child yelped in surprise, raising a book defensively. Spike, startled awake, tumbled backwards from the bed to the floor.
Before Isaac could lower the book, he felt himself tackled by something cold and wet. He struggled with no small amount of noise to no avail. He nearly screamed outright, but stopped when he heard a familiar voice. “I found you!”
Isaac froze, un-squeezing his eyes. “... L-Lazarus?”
He saw his friend, gripping him tightly, coated and soaked in partially-melted snow, a red-and-white cape dripping from his back. A few inches shorter and with a head of ginger hair, the younger of the two hugged Isaac tightly. “Hah, you seem surprised.”
Dumbfounded, Isaac awkwardly put his hand on Lazarus’s head. “I… y-yeah, I am. What are you doing-?”
Lazarus was pulled away, and a large and intimidating black stallion put his face very close to Isaac. “Hold still.”
Heart racing, Isaac complied, terrified of what disobedience would merit. The unicorn’s horn shone grey, and his green eyes darted across the child’s face. Isaac could hear arguing behind the stallion’s intimidating glare, but could hardly register it given his near-hysterical state and complete loss of context. Eventually, the stallion withdrew. Lazarus went back to Isaac, sitting next to him, worried.
“He’s clear,” The stallion said turning to Cadence, who’d arrived during the interim. “He doesn’t seem to have any trace of the curse, thankfully.”
“What are you doing here?” cried out the young dragon, striking a defensive stance before Twilight. “Are you guys crazy? Who let king Sombra-?”
Twilight jerked back in surprise, and motioned for Spike to stand down. “Spike, weren’t you listening? He’s not here to fight.”
The dragon didn’t move. “He enslaved the whole empire-”
“And he’s here to make up for it!” Lazarus defended. “He wants to make amends, fix his mistakes!”
Spike looked over at the children, rubbing his eyes. “Since when were there two of you…? A-anyway, who says he’s not lying? Why believe him?” He demanded, resolve waning.
Cadence stepped forward. “Sombra has, as I’ve noted, not a single protective spell cast, has done no harm in spite of aggression from both the guard and myself, and has quite adequately explained himself, as you’d known if you’d been listening the past five minutes.” She said rather coldly.
Spike was silenced, eyes wide with incredulity, jaw slack. Slowly, he closed it, not able to meet her gaze. “Oh… I… okay, I guess.” He moved back over to the bed, contemplating Sombra, as he slumped against the footboard dejectedly.
Isaac considered this. If Spike was a hero for saving the empire from Sombra, what would it mean to have the villain… de-villainized? Briefly, he caught site of Cadence’s gaze softening, but then returning to the ‘determined leader’ eyes he was beginning to find far less intimidating. It’s not even her. It’s who the others need.
… Or who she thinks they need?
Cadence looked over at Twilight as Sombra waited, almost impatiently, by the door. “Twilight, Sombra and I have to keep going, there’s a lot of spells he needs to disable and deal with. Seeing as he needs to save his magic for that, I have to make sure he doesn’t cause a panic by being seen here with some illusions. Shining will be here soon, but you need to look after Lazarus here, okay?”
Twilight nodded, then offered a small chuckle. “Guess I’m the foalsitter now, huh?” Cadence snorted a short laugh, and left, accompanied by a the grey stallion.
Isaac stood up uneasily from the floor, still absorbing this whirlwind. Lazarus is here, that was a dead king who wants to make up for being bad, Spike’s pride is crippled, and I’m…
I’m…
Still here. Useless. I can’t even help someone I might understand, what could I ever say to-?
“Isaac?” Lazarus asked. The snow had fully melted, slicking his hair to his head. “Are you okay?”
He smiled -though it may have come off as a grimace- for his friend’s sake. “Y-yeah… are you? You look… cold?”
Lazarus nodded with surprising vigor. Isaac lifted off his starchy shirt, offering it to the child. Twilight was already taking the perturbed sheets of the bed and doing the same. Lazarus opted for the sheets, and Isaac, embarrassed, pulled the shirt back on.
Twilight regarded the two of them with curious eyes. Isaac suddenly felt as if he’d lost the relative lack of tension he’d experienced mere minutes ago. The distraction of a subject other than him was gone, and with it, his unease returned. He felt as if he’d done something horribly wrong, something was expected of him that he had failed to realize.
He looked away, mumbling an inaudible and nonspecific apology.
A few moments later, the alicorn broke the tense silence. “So, Lazarus,” she asked trepidatiously. “Would you mind me asking you a few questions?”
The younger child shook his head. “No, feel free.”
Twilight perked up. Isaac saw her magic take hold of the notepad she’d brought, flipping to a new page. “Can you tell me how you got here? Where you found Sombra? I need you to tell me specifically how you woke him up, what happened…”
Isaac stopped tracking their conversation. He was preoccupied by the expression on the dragon’s face. Brows furrowed, hands crossed over his upraised knees. Mouth covered by his forearms. He looks so… frustrated. Unsure. Nothing like those statues.
… A bit like me.
He checked back at the other two occupants of the room. Lazarus was explaining himself with wild gestures, seeming to enjoy the conversation. Twilight looked back and forth between the young child and her notes, interjecting with questions here and there.
They don’t need me. Isaac mused. But maybe he…?
The child scooted over along the floor, away from Lazarus and Twilight, who seemed not to notice. Isaac stopped next to Spike, unsure whether or not he should be the one to start the conversation.
“Isaac, right?” Spike spoke suddenly, looking over at the child. The assistant’s voice was muffled by his arms, but discernable. Isaac nodded in affirmation.
“Uhm,” Isaac began awkwardly. “You’re Spike.”
“Yep.” The dragon stared curiously at him.
“You… you were the one who… the heart thing? You have statues?” The child stumbled over his words, looking down at the floor. Why can’t they just come out the way they do in my head?
Spike scoffed. “Yeah, though at this rate they’ll go down overnight.”
“I-I’m sure that’s not true,” Isaac blustered. “You still- uhm, you’re still a hero for being good. You did it because it was right. Not… fame.” I sound so stupid why am I still talking this was a horrible idea-
“Well, yeah,” Spike replied, his tone prepared for a counterargument. “But this is gonna undo all that, him being a good guy. It was nice to be a hero, you know? Everypony likes you, looks up to you. Does stuff for you.”
“Isn’t that… selfish?” Isaac asked. Suddenly realizing the implicit insult, he rushed out more, “I- I mean it’s not selfish to be a rolemodel and I’m not saying you aren’t one or, uhm, that... you’re selfish... or… uhm. ” He trailed off.
Why must I destroy any and all chances to redeem myself? Isaac despaired, mortified by his own words.
“... No, I think I get it. You’re not wrong,” Spike replied shamefully. “I kinda let it go to my head. I didn’t deserve all that.”
Hastily, Isaac disagreed. “Y-you did, though! You did something really great for a lot of people!”
Spike was looking down at the floor, his tone uncharacteristically low and somber as he asked, “Did I though? If Sombra’s right, doesn’t that mean I just… banished somepony who didn’t do anything wrong?”
“No, you banished his mistakes.” Lazarus suddenly interjected. “He told us earlier that the one you defeated wasn’t him. It was his evil shadow.”
Isaac jumped slightly. Th-they heard all that? All that… flailing, aimless, stilted meandering I spouted...?
“What? What does that even mean?” The dragon asked skeptically.
Twilight took the opportunity to explain. “Spike, you remember the Tantabus, right? Think of it like that - A part of him that was separate. As I understand, the creation of a shade usually isn’t intended - the emotions of the caster can sometimes alter the spell, and leave the shade in control. Or separate the caster from his control of the spell.” She elaborated, drawing a simple diagram on the paper.
Two circles were drawn, overlapping, one bigger than the other. “The shade is usually the one commanded by the caster, controlled the same way we control ourselves and our emotions. If the negative emotions, the ones the shade is powered by, outweigh the positives, the spell gets distorted. It put the shade in control.” She filled the larger circle in, and drew a line severing the two. “Sombra got locked in his body, which was basically useless at that point, and the shade was it’s own creature, being as cruel as it wanted.”
“It had the same goal, it wanted to keep everyone hidden away.” Lazarus offered sheepishly. “It just… didn’t care how it did it, even if it hurt a lot of ponies.”
“So what you’re saying,” Spike clarified. “Is that I stopped an evil megashadow king that even King Sombra couldn’t control.”
“Well, that’s hardly a fair comparison seeing as-” The alicorn began.
Spike fistpumped the air with a small jump. “Hehah! I knew I did good, I knew it!”
Lazarus laughed at the display good-naturedly. Twilight chuckled, shaking her head as she looked back to her notes. Spike grinned, asked Lazarus if he’d like to hear the story, and proceeded after hearing affirmation from the child.
Isaac looked away from the proudly posing assistant, slipping away from the activity of the group, around the side of the bed.
… Oh. Isaac thought sullenly. G-good for him. He’s… he didn’t mess up. Like me. He gets to keep being the hero. The savior. The winner.
Isaac squeezed his little hands tight. He didn’t want to cry in front of them. There was no reason he should ruin the mood. His frustration shouldn’t be taken out on Spike, it wasn’t his fault. Isaac was fully to blame for his mistakes. Spike didn’t deserve to be labeled the source of Isaac’s shame. E-envy is a sin. I w-won’t let it take me.
The dragon got to be happy with himself, his choices. Even if Isaac wasn’t in regards to his own failures.
It wasn’t as if he’d hoped there’d be something to connect with. A chance at… a friend? Just… something they had in common, something they could…
No, no. Surely that would be too great a gift for the child who deserved it not. I raised my hopes. I never should have dared… it never could happen. I shouldn’t be so… so desirous. He’s better off without me.
He can be so much happier if I’m not in the way. Everyone can.
… W-Why can’t I ever be… the happy one?
A single red teardrop fell from his face, staining one of the displaced sheets crimson where it landed. N-no. I don’t deserve it. He does.
He deserves the pride he has.
Isaac clenched the bloodied sheet tightly, fueled with the frustration of this unjust imbalance. So desperate for an equalizer, when he knew in his heart it was as equal as it should be. He, a sinner, beneath him, a saint.
Good.
For.
Him.
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Oh, just thought I point out that the little status bar at the bottom of the story says this is still on hiatus, when it very clearly isn't. You should probably put it to In Progress.
Red tears? Interesting. Did I miss something?
7261243 Oh, that's a good point. Though since I update so inconsistently I wasn't sure if I should, though by this point I guess I should!
7261539 Never watched Game theory, but - spoiler-ing for those who think it might spoil something in the story, I dunno - I always considered them individuals, sort of 'parallel Isaacs'. Just like how each run is a different fate for Isaac, sometimes it's not him who was chased into the basement. On occasion they've crossed pathes, but not always on good terms. At the same time, they share the same problem, but have dealt with it differently (Samson's anger, Eve's self harm, Judas's... Judas-ness). Blue Baby, Keeper, Eden and Lost I consider to be as different - moreso along the line of concepts rather than children themselves. A corpse, a future, a dream and a soul.
As the chest is to represent Isaac's final cleansing of the body and soul, I considered it a representation of him locking away his old world, and thus, sealing the others inside along with all the evils it contains.
Hope that was at least interesting!
7261492 Not if you consider the implications. What sort of items increase damage, yet are unrelated to angels or demons? What sort of things do so without altering his appearance?
7261834 If you're updating at all, it's safe to do so.
Okay, so a stallion Spike has been told time and again is a villain who tried to murder/enslave an entire nation walks into the room, and when he isn't willing to trust him 100% after about five minutes of explanation, the correct response is to lash out at him?
Could've handled that one better, Princess Cadence. Way to be a douche.
Is it going to be a theme of this story that the Princesses are each complete jack-wagons to at least one child? Because it looks set to be that way, with Luna and Isaac, and now Cadence and Spike.
Solid chapter, all told. I look forward to seeing more, especially seeing how Luna proceeds.
7262711 She did feel regret for her harshness- the softening of her gaze- but didn't exactly have time to amend.
In part it was to give Isaac a connection - Spike seemed rejected, which is how Isaac feels. But yes, the poor communication is a reoccurring theme. It can be - and is - a source of suffering for many, Isaac especially.
Glad you're enjoying!
7262926 Feeling bad isn't enough. The true test of character will be whether or not she apologizes, and in how she goes about it if she does.
Perhaps she needs to realize being a tough leader does not require one to be a heartless ass? Sombra could likely help with that, of all ponies. A little philosophical observation.
Not to mention Twilight, who just stood there and let Cadence pimp-smack him without saying a thing about it.
Well this has been on my read-later list for a while, and I just binged through it in a night. I hope you write more soon, it's good.
7320960 Wow! I'm impressed I could keep you attention for a full night! Thank you!
I was actually getting a good deal of the next chapter written and planned last night, coincidentally! So maybe not right now, but it will come sometime soon!
There is no sin in wanting some affection you're desperately starved of...
7263044
Abso-frickin'-lutely.
I need to stop reading these comments, It's like sitting on a bag of needles
It's not gonna end well for you, no matter what angle you approach it at!
As usual, this story remains one of the most real and tangible descriptions of battling with depression I've ever read. Keep up the good work!
Contadistinction n.
the ability to tell between Contra games.