Misadventures in Sunset
“Remind me why I’m here again?” Link asked as he looked at Flora. Flora just snorted before she adjusted her glasses.
“You act as if the library is the bane of your existence,” she said as she looked all the books around the room. “You should really read more books.”
“I’m a swordspony, not a scholar.” Link said flatly as he moved on ahead. He could hear Sturgeon chuckle softly to himself as he walked behind them. He then looked back at Flora, who seemed mesmerized by all the books. Her mane was the same exact color as her mother, but had green fur instead of pink. She also had glasses, accentuating her “nerdness” as Link liked to call it.
“How goes your training Link?” Sturgeon asked. Link looked back at him and groaned.
“Orca is an absolute slave driver. You’re seriously lucky that you are smart or otherwise you would be on the ground sweating.” Link said. His bruises helped prove his point.
“Another reason on why you should read,” Flora said before smiling slyly. “It would do some good for that pea-sized brain of yours. You seriously seem like one of those stereotypical muscle guys who are super hot and strong, but are dumb at the same time.”
“Strong and hot huh? Thanks for the compliment,” Link teased while Flora just blushed and turned her head defiantly. Sturgeon just laughed and said something Link couldn’t hear, but he had a good idea of what he said when Flora’s face turned an even brighter red. He just laughed a bit more before calming himself.
“How’s that spell going for you?” Link asked Flora, making her turn her head back at him. “You’ve been trying to make one, aren't you?”
“Yes, and it's going great! I should be finished soon!” Flora said enthusiastically. Sturgeon chuckled at his student and said something about how proud he was of her.
“What does it do?” Link asked. He noticed that she never even spared any idea of what the spell would do. As a unicorn himself, he was curious. Flora just shook her head mockingly though.
“Not telling!” She said in a cheeky tone, making Link groan for a bit. So she was acting like that now. Why couldn't she have made it easy for him?
“Flora! I see you’ve come back!” Link turned to see a middle aged stallion walking over towards them. He had a green mane with white fur. His posture and glasses gave him a sophisticated look as he walked towards them. Link just sighed again. This guy reminded him of some noble. He hated those types immensely. “And Sturgeon as well! What brings you here?”
“Its nice to meet you again,” Flora said. Sturgeon followed after her and bowed his head. Link looked at the greeting in interest as the librarian made a small chat with them. The librarian’s head swiveled around to him and his eyes widened.
“Do my eyes deceive me or is that Orca’s apprentice?” the librarian said as he made his way over to him “Never would’ve pegged you for a reading type! What’s your name.”
“Its Link,” he answered. “And I am not a reading type. I just came here with Flora.”
“I see,” The librarian said before clapping his hooves. “You’re the first swordspony apprentice to come here, so I bid you welcome!”
“Thanks?” Link said uncertainly. The librarian just nodded before going off and helping more ponies. Link looked around and saw many ponies checking out books or reading there in general. Link never really went to the library. Though, he really did like mystery novels. He liked how the detectives would solve puzzles and link everything together, such as evidence, a pony’s personality and actions, etc.
“How’s the shoulder?” Sturgeon asked, startling Link a little. “It doesn’t hurt?”
“It’s fine,” Link answered casually, as if it wasn’t a big deal. Truth was is that he still had a few nightmares over it. He would wake up in cold sweat sometimes since Luna didn’t come to destroy it. Guess she can’t destroy them all. “It wasn’t really that big in the first place.”
Sturgeon raised an eyebrow at this. “But I heard the extent of your injuries by our healer. She said you had a burn on your shoulder as well as an unknown toxic substance embedded on your other one as well. I wouldn’t mind if it weren’t for the ‘unknown’ part that she added,” Sturgeon adjusted his glasses and narrowed his eyes a little at him, making him nervous. “She has an up-to-date book on poisons and the fact that she couldn’t find one for this intrigues me. There is no snakes here and all the ones we do know we have documented the poison from snakes as well, so why couldn’t we find one for the one you had?”
Link was now sweating a little. He should’ve known that Sturgeon would be a little suspicious! If it weren’t for that redead and its stupid unknown poison then he wouldn’t even be in this situation. He tried to deflate it immediately. “I don’t know.”
“I believe you do know something,” Sturgeon said. His face then softened considerably, surprising Link. “But I won’t pry it from you. Its obvious that this has shaken you up quite a bit and this secret doesn’t seem to be hurting anypony.” He then laughed at loud, attracting some of the ponies’ attention. “And it looks like I caused the mood to be tense. I assure you that I had no intention of making you nervous, my boy.”
“Okay I guess,” Link said, laughing nervously. He learned a long time ago that ponies can be serious one moment, then pull an entire 360 another. He learned not to question it anymore and just deal with it. Sturgeon then walked away from him, waving as he did so.
“I’ll look for Flora now. If you want to check out a book, just come for me,” He called, making Link nod an affirmative yes. He then looked at the many rows of books, all separated by different subjects and genres. The shelves towered over him, making him look very small in comparison. Some ponies even needed ladders just to get to some books. He didn’t think that a tired old village like Sunset would even hold this many books. He walked forward when he suddenly tripped.
His head hit the bookshelf hard, making it wobble for a moment. Link immediately got up and panicked, searching for a way that would make the shelf stable again. The shelf stopped wobbling after a few seconds, much to his relief. However, a book fell from the shelf and hit Link on the head, making him fall down again.
“Ouch!” Link cried out as he tried to get up, rubbing his head. He looked at the book that caused him pain and levitated it in front of him. He was surprised to find it really dusty and old. It looked like it would fall apart at any moment, due to some of its spine hanging out and torn, ripped cover it showed. The front of the book had an unknown language scribbled on top of it with some scribbles of what looked to be like weird symbols. What stood out more was the three triangles that showed on the cover, some of it gone or torn due to age probably. He scratched his head and turned the page, only to find that nothing was written in it.
“Why would somepony go to the trouble of making this thing if they weren’t going to write in it at all?” Link asked himself as he levitated the book around. The back cover looked to be as torn as the front one. Some red stains covered it, extremely faded and dry. Link was alarmed when he smelled the familiar copper smell of blood. He quickly looked around. Nopony really noticed him when he banged his head on the shelf. He opened the book again, only to gape as he saw something written in it. Link swore he saw the pages blank when he opened it the first time.
The language seemed to be written in yellow, only dark enough for him to read on the faded paper. It seemed to be also glowing subtly, but Link dismissed that as the trick of the light. He also saw some of the language he knew written on here. Link read more of the contents to find himself pleasantly surprised. This book seemed to act like a translation guide, like how some books translated the gryphon and zebra language. Though, Link didn’t know what language this book was translating.
“This is most interesting,” a voice said behind him, making Link yelp and immediately shut the book. Dust flew from the book as he turned around to find the librarian staring at him with a small smile.
“It is most interesting indeed,” the librarian continued, plucking the book out of his magic. “That you would pick this book. The Book of Mudora I think they called it.” He turned a few pages in the book with an amused expression on his face.
“Why is it so interesting?” Link asked, intrigued. Was there something special about this book? Despite the fact that he knew that the words weren’t there the first time he opened it, it didn’t seem all that interesting. The librarian only laughed as he returned the book to Link.
“Archaeologists found this a long time ago,” he started to answer, making Link pay attention more. “It was a big find at first. Nopony knew the language in front of the book. The strange symbols didn’t help satisfy their curiosity either. But what confused them the most about this book is,” he paused for a dramatic effect, making Link sit in anticipation. “That there was absolutely nothing written in the book.”
Link frowned at that. What had this librarian said? That there was nothing written in this book? If he came the first time Link opened this book, he would have believed him. But now there was obviously some words there. “What are you talking about?”
“There’s nothing in this book,” the librarian answered again. He was frowning a little now. “It should’ve been obvious since I saw you open the book.”
“There is something in there,” Link insisted, now thoroughly confused. Why was this librarian insisting that there was nothing in there? He was staring straight at the pages for goddess’ sake! The librarian took it from him again and flipped through it quickly. His frown deepened in doing so.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” the librarian said, his tone now a little irritated. “There is nothing in this book other than tears and dirt.”
“Are you blind?” Link asked incredulously. He took the book back from him and showed him the pages. “There is something written in here.”
“Now I like a little game or two but this is getting to be a bit much, don’t you think?” the librarian asked dryly. Now Link was starting to get a little irritated.
“There is something written in this book,” he insisted once more, shoving the book into the librarian’s face. “It is YOU that must stop these mind games.”
“There is nothing in here,” the librarian said again. Link could see that the librarian was barely concealing his anger, confusing him. Did this pony actually believe that there is nothing written in this book?
“Yes there is.”
“No there isn’t.”
“Yes there is.”
“No there isn’t”
“YES THERE IS!”
“NO THERE ISN’T!”
“YES THERE IS!”
“SHUT UP NOW!”
The librarian seemed to have enough, as he picked up Link and walked him towards the entrance. He threw him out the door effortlessly, making Link skid across the ground. He then slammed the door, making Link get up and groan while rubbing his backside. Stupid librarian. Why didn’t he see the words inside? Link wished that he had the book now. Something like that isn’t normal at all. As if fate had answered him, the door opened once more and the book came flying out, hitting Link on the head once more as he gracefully flopped back on the ground. The librarian’s head poked out of the door angrily.
“Keep your stupid book!” he spat out before slamming the door again. Link smiled at the barely audible shushing behind the door and what also seemed like hair ripping out of something. He got up and dusted himself off before picking up the book. He opened it to find the letters shining mockingly at him. He frowned and closed it.
“That was certainly a way of getting out of a library,” a female voice said dryly behind him. Link looked around to see Flora smirking at him. Sturgeon looked at him in disapproval and shook his head.
“I’m going to be telling Orca about this,” Sturgeon muttered, making Link look at him with a horrified expression. He then looked at him questioningly. “What was that all about anyway?”
“Stupid librarian told me there was nothing written in this book when there is,” Link said angrily. Flora took the book from him and started to flip through the pages. “You can see them clearly, can you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Flora said, peering at the pages closely. “The librarian was right. I can’t see anything in here.”
Link’s jaw dropped and he looked at it again behind her. The words were right there in their yellow pigment. Sure it was yellow but it was dark enough to see clearly. “I can see them clearly right now.”
“You sure you’re okay Link?” Flora asked uncertainly. She adjusted the book so that they can see it even more clearly. “I think something’s wrong with your vision since I still don’t see anything.” Link looked at her incredulously before grabbing the book in his levitation and floating towards Sturgeon.
“You see something, right?” Link asked hopefully. One part of his mind told him that his efforts were futile, but another still told him that it was irrational for him to be only seeing this. It wasn’t like he was insane or psychologically impaired or something. This isn’t a hallucination. His hopes shattered when he saw Sturgeon close the book and shake his head.
“I don’t see anything Link,” Sturgeon said, making Link sag down visibly. “But I do believe that you see something.”
Link’s head snapped up in surprise. “Really?”
“You’re obviously are not insane and is just telling us that you are seeing things,” Sturgeon said with a hoof to his chin. He looked up to the sky as his face screwed up in concentration. Link immediately knew that he was doing his ‘thinking pose’. Link rarely saw him use it in the time he spoke to him though. “Perhaps the poison is doing this?”
“It isn’t,” Link said, shaking his head. “They said they removed it completely before it could travel anywhere else in my body. There is no way that it can be in my head now.”
“This is most intriguing indeed,” Sturgeon said as he looked down at him. “But I can’t seem to find the answer right now. What does it say in the book anyway?”
“Its some sort of translation guide,” Link said, opening the book again. “But I don’t exactly know what language this translates from.”
“Mind writing down some of the words then?” Sturgeon asked. Link nodded and drew some characters with his hoof on the dirt. The aspiring scientist and scientist himself looked with rapt attention as Link continued to draw the characters, raising their eyebrow occasionally at some out of place mark he put on. When he finished, they saw a plethora of characters and symbols all connected together. It was unknown where the words ended and where it began. “I don’t recognize this language. What does it say?”
Link looked at the book again and began to translate, “No sin shall forgo punishment of the weakest kind thou hast created themselves.” Link looked at it confusingly. “What does that mean?”
“It sounded like how no corrupt noble will take a small punishment of their own creation if they committed a crime,” Sturgeon explained, then looked at the symbols on the dirt closely. “Does it tell you how to speak it?”
“No it doesn’t,” Link said, suddenly nervous. He now felt like he was being interrogated for something he did wrong, even though he did nothing. Sturgeon then sighed and rubbed the dirt clean, restoring it to its former image. Link looked at him with a confused expression until he answered.
“I can’t really explain it,” Sturgeon said, looking a bit downcast. He then looked at Link directly, making him gulp. “It seems to me that you’re the source of most of the mysteries here.” Link did not miss the very subtle jab in that sentence and frowned instantly. Sturgeon shook his head. “But I guess I’ll look into it later. It isn't important now.”
Link was surprised, but nodded in acceptance. He found that he didn't want to drag this any further than now. He just nodded tiredly as the three began making their way towards their respective homes. They stopped at an intersection.
“See you later,” Flora said tiredly, waving back to him. “And get rid of that stupid hat! I would burn that thing if I could.”
“Never!” Link said playfully before making his way up to the cliff, Sturgeon following closely behind him. The setting sun casted a shadow of the big house over them as they entered, where Link promptly remembered he had training with Orca again. Just great.
(Next morning)
Link stretched and yawned while tending to his newest bruises. Since he was nearing the end of his training, Orca was not going easy on him at all. In fact, Link thought he was being even harder than before. He still didn't waver though. He still had to complete the goal the Great Fairy gave him. He felt a breeze go through him as he tried to reach for his hat.
...Why did he feel a breeze? He was inside the house and he was pretty sure that he locked the window.
His eyes snapped to attention when he saw his window opened carelessly, moving slightly to the wind. He also couldn't find his hat.
He scrambled out of his bed and looked around rapidly, panic already taking over him. Where was his hat?! And why was the window open? He ran downstairs to greet a slightly surprised Orca.
“What’s gotten you into a rush?” Orca asked with a confused expression. It currently looked like he was in the middle of doing some stretches before he was interrupted. Link spluttered in a flurry of words, none of which made any sense. “I can’t understand what you’re saying. Slow down a bit.”
Link calmed down enough to say, “Somebody stole my hat!” Orca looked at him with a surprised expression before putting a hoof to his chin.
“Does anypony dislike you here?” he asked, patting Link on the back when he saw he was about to hyperventilate. Link shook his head rapidly before taking deep, relaxing breaths to calm himself down.
“Not that I know of,” Link said, doing his own rapid thinking. Nopony really disliked him here. Link doubted that the librarian from yesterday would go so far with him either. It just didn’t make any sense. Then Link remembered something from yesterday.
“You should get rid of that stupid hat,”
“Flora!” Link yelled as he immediately ran out of the house. Orca followed him closely behind as he continued to where Flora lived. Link barged through the door, scaring Petal.
“OH!” she yelped when the door slammed open. She calmed down when she saw Link entering her house with Orca. “What brings you here Li-”
“No time,” Link interrupted her, turning everything upside down in the house. He searched everywhere, blocking out Orca’s explanation to Petal.
“Flora is upstairs, but why would she have your hat?” She asked, only for Link to ignore her and immediately go upstairs. The adults followed him closely behind until they reached a door that was obviously Flora’s room, if the signs on her door that warned them of any hazardous material in the room and that they should keep out. Link ignored the signs and broke in, also scaring Flora. His eyes immediately noticed his precious green hat near her.
“LINK!” Flora yelled out, startled. “W-what are you doing here?”
“Why do you have my hat?” Link demanded, getting close to her. The visible fear on her face didn’t faze Link as she stepped back. She bumped into her table, making her flare her magic in fear. The chemicals on her table toppled over and crashed to the ground, making pink smoke suddenly gush everywhere. Orca pulled Link back in time while Petal screamed for Flora. There was a coughing fit for a few moments before the smoke cleared, revealing Flora looking relatively unharmed.
“FLORA!” Petal screamed, immediately scooping her into a hug. “Are you ok?!
“I’m fine mom. None of it got on me,” she answered, trying hard not faint due to lack of air. Meanwhile, Link got hold of his hat and was staring down at it blankly. Orca saw what Link was seeing and had an expression of deep surprise on his face. The two females turned them and saw their expressions.
“Why did you take Link’s hat?” Petal demanded, crossing her hooves and started to use her ‘you’re in trouble’ look. Flora looked down shamefully.
“I wanted to prank Link. I wouldn’t do anything to it, I swear!” she said frantically. Petal just looked at Flora more with that stern look before Flora sighed and mumbled something else.
“What did you say?” Petal asked. Flora mumbled something again, making Petal raise her eyebrow. “I didn’t quite catch that.”
“I also wanted to see Link without his hat on,” Flora said embarrassingly. Petal just shook her head and turned to Link.
“Are you ok?” she asked him, concern lacing her voice. She was only met with silence as Link continued to stare down his hat. “Is anypony in there?”
“What,” Link started, making Petal and Flora snap up in surprise. “Did you exactly work on with that spell?”
“A space-time spell,” Flora said flatly, making Petal’s jaw drop.
“That is an extremely dangerous kind of spell! Why didn’t you ask me beforehand first?” Flora looked away at her mother in embarrassment. Petal just sighed and looked at Link again. He still looked down at his hat. “Why did you want to know, dear?”
“Look,” was all Link said as they huddled around his hat. His hat was long, but you could still see the end of it. Now it was just plain darkness, like what the top of a bottomless pit would look like. “What exact space-time spell did you want to create?”
“One where it could make a storage space seem bigger on the inside than outside,” Flora said, looking at the hat in amazement. Link looked up and walked over to her desk. Everypony in the room watched in anticipation when Link held her desk lamp and dropped it in his hat.
It went in.
It went in. It also seemed like the hat had taken no space at all. Link flapped it a couple of times before reaching into it once more. He pulled the desk lamp out again, making everypony’s, including his, jaw drop at the miracle. Flora immediately started crying tears of joy while Orca and Petal looked at her in amazement. They looked back and forth from the hat to her, looking at them like they shouldn’t even exist in reality. They all finally broke out of their stupor and voiced their own reactions.
“Damn,” Orca said, looking very impressed. “Wait till’ I tell Sturgeon that one of his students created a space-time spell.”
“My baby girl created a space-time spell!” Petal cried out, dancing around the room, repeating the same line over and over again.
“Is this my hat?” Link asked, looking at said hat in front of him right now. He tentatively put his hoof in, only for it to go as deep as his shoulder. He went no further than that, scared that he might accidentally get sucked into it. Flora just kept on crying while trying to take deep breaths. It was obvious that she never felt this deep of an emotion before. She even admitted that she didn’t even cry at her dad’s funeral, but only felt immensely sad. Link looked at her, then back at the hat. He put it on to only see it flop backwards like it usually did. He sighed in relief.
“Looks like you got yourself a bottomless hat,” Orca said, rubbing Link on the head. Link was scared for a moment that he was going to get sucked in, but was relieved once more when he didn’t feel himself go deeper into his hat. He would never have guessed that this would happen to his hat of all things.
“How much can it hold?” Petal chirped, making everypony look at her with wide eyes. That did raise up another question. Just how much can this hold? Flora got a familiar gleam on her eye as she went to her desk and got her notebook.
“Guess the tests aren’t over,” she muttered before she snapped her head up suddenly and looked at Link. Her expression turned to an apologetic one, bowing her head before him. “I’m really sorry that this happened to you Link. I didn’t mean to do this to you, honest.”
When Flora started to sniff and tears of sadness started to pool around her eyes, Link couldn’t find it in himself to stay mad and immediately comforted her. “It's fine Flora. This may actually prove to be useful to me in a way.”
“I’m glad,” Flora said with a big smile. “Are you ok with me testing how much this weighs?”
“As long as it doesn’t rip through,” Link answered before a grin of his own appeared. “So what are we waiting for?”
The next hour or two was spent putting various amount of objects of all sizes into his hat. It surprisingly held on and seemed to not gain any weight at all. Sturgeon quickly found out as he went to Flora and whooped with joy. It wasn’t too long before he joined in on the activity, occasionally asking himself questions nopony had the answer to. It also proved to be profitable to Link also since Orca unintentionally forgot about his training. That would give him time to heal all his bruises luckily. Link felt bad at first but said to himself he would train harder later when all his injuries recovered. The two brainiacs of the group wrote a lot of notes, constantly breaking their quills in half due to their excitement.
It had gotten late and Link’s hat was securely on his head once more. The sun was setting and Link and Orca was saying goodbye to Flora and Petal. Today was a prosperous day for them, since Link got his modified hat and Flora got even more closer to perfecting her spell. It was indeed confirmed that Link’s hat was bottomless, since no matter how many heavy things they put into it, it just stayed the same mass. Link could also call upon any item he wanted by just thinking it and reaching into his hat. He had found this extremely useful and had stored his sword and shield in it for safekeeping.
“See ya Link. Thanks for the research!” Flora called back as she waved towards him. Link waved back as the both of them went their separate ways. Despite Link being pissed at first, he found this to be very exciting and couldn’t wait for what was in store for him next. What’s more is that he didn’t even have to train today! It wasn’t like he didn’t want to, but he figured that he would have to finish it anyways. As if on the subject of training, Orca spoke up to him.
“We did miss our training session today, didn’t we?” Orca said in a mock, questioning tone as he exaggeratingly put his hoof to his chin. Link paled immediately. He had hoped that Orca wouldn’t figure out! Orca looked towards him mischievously and laid it on him. “Looks like we have to remedy that by training extra long right now!”
Link went to bed a very unhappy colt that night.
(The next day)
Link watched the mare feed the chickens on his break. He had usually taken to visiting some of the places in town when Orca let him out. He would sometimes watch and simply observe some of the things that struck his fancy at any random moment of time. This time it was just watching the chickens.
He watched them play and flap around, generally giving the mare a hard time. He idly touched his hat on his head. He had taken to do that sometimes since he found newfound interest in it ever since yesterday. His sword and shield was in it right now, but Link had a feeling that he might put a lot more into it soon. It would also help to keep up appearances, since nopony would expect a colt with a bottomless hat full of weapons to walk by them. It was better to remain incognito at times. Flora also said that she might need to remedy the formula to the spell more since what had happened yesterday was a pure accident. Even though she got tons of information yesterday, she wanted to check it over to see if it was dangerous to other objects. For all they both knew, it could work on only green, pointy hats. Her mother still wasn’t pleased with her still working on it though.
Link noticed the mare approach him and moved himself to greet her. She bowed her head swiftly at him.
“I noticed you watching me there,” the mare said with a smirk. Link was about to introduce himself when he was immediately shushed by her. “I don’t need no introduction from ya. You’re that new swordspony apprenticed to Orca, right? Link was it?”
Link nodded his head. “Seemed like I gained some sort of reputation around here.”
“It's not everyday that Orca accepts a new student, especially one as young as you,” the mare said with a wave of her hoof. “You can call me Cluck if ya want. Everypony calls me that.”
“Okay then,” Link affirmed. He then studied the mare in front of him. Cluck was a green maned pony with white fur. Her cutie mark was unsurprisingly a bunch of chickens with feed on the ground. It didn’t take a genius to know what her talent was.
“What brings you around here?” She asked with a tilt of her head.
“I never knew Sunset had a farm here, so I thought I should check it out,” Cluck chuckled at that.
“Well you see it now! We raise all sorts of animals, like chickens,” she said, gesturing to the ones behind her. Link only nodded in understanding. Cluck suddenly looked nervous, making Link look at her with a confused expression.
“You aren’t one of those ponies that judge easy, right?” she asked, making Link raise an eyebrow. He nodded nevertheless. “Good, so can I tell you a secret?”
“Is it bad?” Link asked, making her go wide eyed and shook her head with rapid succession.
“No! No it isn’t!” she said immediately, making Link’s eyebrow go up even further. She bit her lip before talking again. “Its just something that I want to get off my chest, but it's embarrassing to say.”
“I’m listening,” Link said eagerly. He wasn’t a gossiper, but he had been stressed by his father that mares kept a lot of closely guarded secrets. The fact that he was going to hear one randomly right now got him to pay attention.
Cluck looked left and right and whispered in his ear, “Sometimes, instead of calling the chickens by their actual name, I like to call them cuccos!”
That totally was not weird at all.
Link blinked before nodding slowly. So this is what a mare’s secret sounded like. It looked like his father was being melodramatic over something so small and ridiculous. Link shook his head and made the zipper motion with his lips. The mare happily squealed and hugged him briefly.
“Thanks Link! You have no idea how much I wanted to say that and see if people’s opinion would change about me!” Not like he had an opinion about her before in the first place. “Oh, and do not hit the cuccos! You will regret it.”
Link blinked once more at the ominous comment. He stared at the retreating mare's back before looking at the ground in thought. Now that flared up his curiosity. What would happen if he did hit one of the cuc-chickens? He found a nearby stick and picked it up. He hopped over the fence with ease and approached it. All the chickens went into their home while one lone chicken still kept on scavenging for food. Link crept up behind it, and immediately swatted it.
The event that followed had Link never underestimate the power of chickens ever again.
The chicken immediately squawked and ran around in circles. More squawks followed and he found the chicken pen blast open with chickens struggling to get out of the small opening. He could also hear more squawks in other directions. One popped out the window out of a nearby house. Three popped more out of a random bush. One blasted from underground and took to the sky with the rest of its brethren. Link could only gape with an open mouth as all the chickens gathered and started to fly. They flew up to the sky, creating a big shadow over him. Then they all started to descend down into him. Link could only say three words before his inevitable doom arrived:
“Oh my goddess…”
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Beware the Cuccos!
Bottomless hat, nice touch I'll tell you that, good chapter and can't wait to see more.
Ha ha! Link gets his inventory! You should have mentioned that Cluck was allergic to them.
Your style is improving. If you look at your first couple chapters, you will be surprised how they are compared to how you write now.
A small note: When using a comparative (better, faster, deadlier, etc.) You shouldn't put more before it, since the word already implies the comparison. You can't say more deadlier (for example ). It would be either more deadly or deadlier. Just watch out for that.
Oh, another thing. Try to avoid writing etc. in a person's quote. I guess it's fine in narrative, but when you quote it, you can't write it abbreviated. You have to spell it out- etcetera. It may seem like I'm nitpicking the details, but it still makes a difference.
"But Dimension Diver," you say, "how come you only point out what I'm doing wrong? How come you never tell me what to do that's right?" Sorry, but what to do has to come from you, cause that's your style. You have to figger it out yerselfe! Haw haw haaw!
Take care.