• Published 1st Oct 2015
  • 5,545 Views, 59 Comments

Written In The Stars - The Phantom Joker



After barely escaping the wrath of a triumphant Bill Cipher, 17-year old Dipper Pines arrives in the magical land of Equestria, and begins to make new allies, as well as develop his own hidden magical prowess.

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The Party

The minute Dipper, Spike, and Twilight set foot inside Sugarcube Corner, loud dance music crashed upon their ears from a set of subwoofers attached to a DJ station, which was manned by a girl with pale skin and electric blue hair clad in a white trench coat, black fingerless gloves, an electric blue headset, and purple lensed sunglasses.

As Dipper looked around the room, he saw treats and snacks piled a mile high, and a variety of Gaians, Flyers, and what he could only assume were Spellcasters munching down on them as they danced and socialized amongst themselves without a care in the world. Mabel would’ve loved this, thought Dipper. Mabel always had been a bit of a social butterfly when it came to parties in unfamiliar places… and she had a hell of a sweet tooth.

Dipper was pulled out of his thoughts when a familiar voice called out to the newest arrivals at the party, “Twilight! Spike! Uh… new guy! You made it!”

In a matter of seconds, Pinkie Pie was standing before the group, her smile as wide as a mile. “I never did get your name. Mine’s Pinkie Pie,” said Pinkie, holding out her hand.

“Dipper. Dipper Pines,” said Dipper, grabbing a hold of Pinkie’s hand to shake it, only to get a shock from a Joy Buzzer that made his hand go numb.

Pinkie giggled at his reaction and skipped off. "Enjoy the party~"

Dipper shook off the shock and turned to Twilight. "You ok, Dipper?" the Spellcaster asked her new friend.

"Trust me, I've been hit by worse, I can handle a little party buzzer." Looking around Dipper took in everything around him. "So, this is what Pinkie Pie calls a 'Welcome to Ponyville party?’ A little much just to welcome someone to the city don't you think?"

Twilight just chuckled and shook her head. "It's just Pinkie’s way of being friendly. She always likes to make people smile."

Shrugging, Dipper decided to look around, see if he could find anything to do that wouldn't cause him to embarrass himself. He walked over to a table that was completely covered in snacks, treats and different kinds of drinks. Playing it safe he just took a cup of punch and walked away from the table.

As he walked he accidentally bumped into someone. "Oh, I'm sorry about that."

The person he had bumped into had blonde hair that had a small red ribbon at the bottom of her golden locks. She had three freckles under each emerald eye. She wore a brown stetson over her head. She also wore brown cowboy boots, blue jeans, and a red and white plaid shirt with a white t-shirt underneath.

“Ah, that’s okay,” the person said with a southern drawl. “So, you must be the new arrival ta town Pinkie’s throwin’ this here shindig for.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Name’s Dipper Pines,” said Dipper.

“Ah’m Applejack, Ah help run Sweet Apple Acres,” said Applejack, shaking Dipper’s hand.

“What’s Sweet Apple Acres?” asked Dipper.

“It’s the local apple farm, where we grow and sell everything from fresh apples to apple fritters. Ya’ll oughta stop by fer Cider Season after Hearth’s Warming,” explained Applejack.

Dipper raised an eyebrow. “Er… Hearth’s Warming? What’s Hearth’s Warming?” he asked the cowgirl.

“What do ya mean, what’s Hearth’s Warming? It’s only a holiday honoring the day Equestria was founded, as well as a celebration of friendship an’ harmony, which is shown by giving gifts to one another,” said Applejack, taken aback by Dipper’s question.

“Oh… so, it’s like the 4th of July and Christmas put together,” Dipper summarized.

“Now it’s mah turn to ask questions. What’s so special about the 4th of July, and what’s a ‘Christmas?’” asked Applejack.

Before Dipper could reply, he heard Twilight calling for both him and Applejack. “Well, better go see what Twilight wants,” said Dipper.

Applejack nodded, still puzzled as to what exactly a Christmas was as she followed Dipper to the table where Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and two other people who Dipper had not met yet were sitting at.

“Hey, Dipper, go ahead and sit down,” said Twilight. Dipper grabbed an empty chair and pulled himself up to the table. “Okay, first off, let me introduce some of my friends. That’s Rarity, the local fashionista,” said Twilight, pointing a girl around the same age as Fluttershy with long, purple curly hair and sapphire eyes wearing a lavender dress with black heels and other assorted bits of jewelry on her, who reached over and shook Dipper’s hand.

“And that’s Rainbow Dash,” continued Twilight, pointing at a rainbow-haired girl around both Dipper and Twilight’s age with cyan blue feathered wings wearing a blue zip-up hoodie with a black shirt underneath with the image of a rainbow lightning bolt on it, blue jeans, and blue and white sneakers.

“Hey,” said Rainbow Dash, shaking Dipper’s hand as well.

“And I see you’ve already met Applejack. Anyways, Dipper, I need you to tell these girls what you told me,” said Twilight. After explaining his situation to the girls they all looked to each other with tears in their eyes.

"That is a rather tragic tale darling…” said Rarity. Rainbow, Fluttershy and Applejack nodded in agreement with the fashionista. “So, I take it you have virtually nothing but the clothes on your back and have had nothing to eat?"

“That’s about right,” said Dipper.

“Well, I’d be more than happy to make you a new wardrobe, my dear. I might not be able to help you with finding your sister, but it’s the least I can do to help out someone in need,” said Rarity. “Although, I think I might know someone who can help with your problems… TWO someones in fact.”

"But Rarity, they're both out of town." Stated Fluttershy with a saddened tone.

Just then the door of the bakery was thrown open and two figures stood in the doorway. "We're back bitches and gentlemen!" Pinkie and Fluttershy both glowed as the two figures walked towards them.

"Jack!" Pinkie yelled before tackling one to the ground.

"Flynn!" Fluttershy ran up to the other and he lifted her and spun her around.

Dipper looked to the new arrivals. The one with Pinkie currently giving him a deathly hug wore a dark purple tailcoat and black dress pants. He also wore a black top hat with a white band at the base. His hair was midnight black, short, and had something of a point to it.

The one with Fluttershy was slightly taller than the shy winged girl. He wore a black trench coat, a white shirt, blue jeans and black boots. His eyes were purple and his short hair was black.

Pinkie let the sharply dressed man up and he pulled a purple cane out of nowhere. "Ah, my little ball of energy, how have you been?" He asked while twirling her, causing her to giggle. "I take it there has been a new arrival if you've thrown this big of a shindig without inviting me."

Dipper looked over to the one with Fluttershy. "My little butterfly, I missed you dearly." He set her down and hugged her. Turning his head he noticed Dipper. "Haven't seen you around here before young man, might I ask your name?"

Dipper held out his hand. "Dipper Pines." The tall man returned the gesture.

"Pleasure to meet you, I am Flynn Ryder." Dusk returned to Fluttershy and they moved to the dance floor.

"Um, who was that exactly?" Dipper asked looking to Twilight.

"Like he said, he's Flynn Ryder. Fluttershy's fiancé. He's also a Spellcaster." She answered. "It's strange, around anyone else she's shy, but around Flynn she's just so much more confident."

Before he could say anything Dipper found himself face to face with the sharply dressed man. "Well hello there young one, name's Jack Nightshade if you’re wondering. So, you're the new addition to this fine city? I wish you luck, things tend to get a little crazy around this lot." He pointed to the girls. "Pinkie already told me your name, but I think a nickname is in order! What do you think Pinks?" He quickly vanished from Dipper’s sight and appeared behind Pinkie.

"Oh, definitely! Let's see here...Dippy, Piny, Pinecone, Pinetree, Pipper, Pinecream Cone, Dips..." The two continued to list possible nicknames for Dipper.

"Let me guess, Pinkie’s fiancé?" He asked in monotone.

"Nope, husband. And I'm a Gaian if yer wondering." answered Jack as he was now directly behind Dipper causing the teen to yelp. "Hehe, sorry, I tend to just pop up every now and again." Suddenly this man was reminding Dipper of Bill Cipher… a lot.

Jack walked back over to his wife and swept her off her feet. Dipper just looked at the girls confused. "So, who were the ones you were saying can help me?" The girls all pointed at Jack and Flynn. "Of course..."

“Hey, boys and girls, DJ-PON3 is gonna take things down for a moment. Ladies and Gentlemen, now’s the time,” the blue-haired DJ said into a microphone before she put on romantic music.

As the other girls went and grabbed themselves dance partners, Twilight hung back and watched, a look of longing on her face.

Dipper noticing Twilight’s expression, walked up to her. “Hey, uh, ahem, Twilight, would you like to dance with me?” he asked.

Twilight smiled. “S-sure, Dipper,” she said.

And with that, Dipper and Twilight went out onto the dance floor and began to dance. While they did so, Twilight couldn’t help but feel… comfortable, safe, and warm in Dipper’s arms. As for Dipper, he kind of liked the feeling of holding Twilight close to him. It made him feel warmth inside his chest.

Just then Dipper heard footsteps coming from behind him. Flynn walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. "Sorry for interrupting Dipper, Fluttershy has told me about your situation and I have to ask..." Flynn unfolded a piece of paper and showed it to Dipper, "...is this the being you spoke of?"

Dipper's eyes widened at what was on the page. It was a sketch of Bill Cipher.

Author's Note:

And thus chapter three has been successfully modified! If you liked what you saw here, then be sure to fav, follow, like, and comment! Also...

And remember: dying is easy, comedy is hard!