A quick fix, just fucking, that's all that's was supposed to be. Then he had to go and ruin it all. Here I am, tangled up in his limbs begging for more, begging for everything he could give just as much as he wanted to give it to me.
Wow! This was very well done, KD! You really nailed Dash's perspective, and her character, as far as her not really wanting to let go, but letting herself.
Wow, this was beautiful, everything was though action. I love it, some minor mistakes that makes me re-read the some paragraph but other than that... this is going to favs.
6154740 Thanks, if your all lucky I might add a follow up chapter ;)
6154633 Ahh thanks, Yeah I have a horrible habit of over-editing when I beta my own fics so I though I would play it safe this time (Feel free to PM me the errors to fix)
6154095 OMG Thats one of the best compliments I've ever gotten, thanks Jake
Pretty good, although the premise holds way more potential than the actual story explores. Dash and Mac hooking up just for sex and then actually growing to confide in and care for each other is a story that deserves telling in-depth, rather than being quickly explained in the middle of a make-out session. This is kind of a pet peeve of mine with relation to romance stories; it annoys me when the reader is dropped on top of an already-happy couple just so the narrative can show off how hot they are for each other. I prefer the journey to the destination. Still, it's worth an upvote.
6160884 Thank you ^^ I didn't add a romance tag for that reason, it was just something that popped into my head and I carried on writing when inspiration came.
I took a small poll on my page and I will be writing two chapters one about the very start of how their relationship happened, and the other about how that started to develop how they began to care for each other.
6169227 Thanks, I am planning on writing an installment where AJ walks in not long after this scene and catches them haha
Now that I've taken time to read this, I'm glad I did. You've a talent for illustrating the affections between these two, who have a relationship that has surpassed a need for just physical gratification. Just don't forget to edit your work. That's the only criticism I can think of.
Wow! This was very well done, KD! You really nailed Dash's perspective, and her character, as far as her not really wanting to let go, but letting herself.
Nice job!
Wow, this was beautiful, everything was though action. I love it, some minor mistakes that makes me re-read the some paragraph but other than that... this is going to favs.
Very well done! Good character set up, and an amazing job of doing Dash’s POV.
This was really good! Great work!
6155461 Thank you ^^
6154740 Thanks, if your all lucky I might add a follow up chapter ;)
6154633 Ahh thanks, Yeah I have a horrible habit of over-editing when I beta my own fics so I though I would play it safe this time (Feel free to PM me the errors to fix)
6154095 OMG Thats one of the best compliments I've ever gotten, thanks Jake
Y'know, this is pretty good. It's just that you really need an editor.
Pretty good, although the premise holds way more potential than the actual story explores.
Dash and Mac hooking up just for sex and then actually growing to confide in and care for each other is a story that deserves telling in-depth, rather than being quickly explained in the middle of a make-out session.
This is kind of a pet peeve of mine with relation to romance stories; it annoys me when the reader is dropped on top of an already-happy couple just so the narrative can show off how hot they are for each other. I prefer the journey to the destination.
Still, it's worth an upvote.
I actually enjoyed this and I don't usually go for stuff like this.
Also, is it wrong that I want to Applejack's reaction to this?
6160884
Thank you ^^
I didn't add a romance tag for that reason, it was just something that popped into my head and I carried on writing when inspiration came.
I took a small poll on my page and I will be writing two chapters one about the very start of how their relationship happened, and the other about how that started to develop how they began to care for each other.
6169227
Thanks, I am planning on writing an installment where AJ walks in not long after this scene and catches them haha
Now that I've taken time to read this, I'm glad I did. You've a talent for illustrating the affections between these two, who have a relationship that has surpassed a need for just physical gratification. Just don't forget to edit your work. That's the only criticism I can think of.