An Alternate Ending to A Canterlot Wedding

by MeadowRosePony

A Little Glass of Water?

Discord stared down at the young unicorn curled up contentedly with her book. Several other books had formed a fort around her with a random plate balanced on top.

'She's reading... Does she ever stop reading?!? I've given her everything she could ever want, she could do anything she's ever dreamed of! I've opened the door for revenge, acceptance, domination! ...and she's...reading? No chaos? No magic surges or shows of power? She's not even plotting or scheming. Or gloating! How is that even possible?! You have to gloat! Its in the manual!'
Discord poofed up a manual and quickly drew in a pictograph of a pony gloating.

'Something has to be done! But what?' As Discord pondered this predicament he caught sight of the sandwich Twilight was snacking on as she read. He slowly grinned. 'Oh, this is too easy'

He silently watched and waited.

'...'

'This... is going to take a while...'
'...'

'...'

'Well, while we wait lets turn to the Canterlot Channel. Maybe Shiny Pants and the Not-Queens have something to liven things up a bit.'
Discord cheerfully shimmered out of existence.

---

His grin and eyes appeared seconds later on a coffee mug. He mentally groaned as he saw the logo on it: 'Rise and Shine!' above a sun. A sun that looks suspiciously similar to a certain alicorn's cutiemark.

Discord sighed silently, 'Great, now I'm a PBS on a disgustingly cute propaganda mug. ...Huh...that's actually quite brilliant. Putting your personal symbol of power on a seemingly innocent everyday item. Accompany it with a cute slogan so nopony gets suspicious. And every morning, ponies see that symbol and associate it with the pleasant sensation of coffee. Coffee that they are nearly addicted to.'
Discord paused as he contemplated. 'Huh, I wonder if Sunbutt's invested in coffee stocks. That's pretty devious, long-winded and under-hoofed for some positive PR... I approve.'

"A shield!"

Discord's one eye fell off the mug as he heard the young dragon creature 'Spot wasn't it?' shout. Startled into remembering the purpose for his spying mission, Discord started paying more attention. ( 'More attention', equaling 'Any attention at all') He listened for a few more minutes before poofing back to his other dimension for a huddle.

"We can make this work." Discord said to Discord

"But we need to hurry it along, we don't have forever." Discord pointed out

"Actually we do." Discord replied

"That's a good point." Discord acceded

"We just need to make sure this little plan they have happens on our terms." Discord said

"Don't you mean my terms?" Discord huffed imperiously.

"I believe it's my terms, Discord."

"Exactly!" Discord and Discord attempted to outshout each other, glaring.

Discord groaned in annoyance and poofed them away, "Now I remember why I don't huddle. I'm so temperamental, sheesh!"

'Let me help out your little plan, my little ponies. After all, we are neighbors and that's what good neighbors are for...'
Discord grinned evilly before taking off for supplies.

---

Discord pondered the scene before him. 'On one hoof, she wasn't reading. On the other paw, she wasn't doing anything. On the other claw, though, she wasn't doing anything on her throne. And on the other, other claw, she didn't look very happy not doing anything on her throne.'
Twilight sighed dejectedly, leaning her head on her hoof as she stared blankly ahead.

'I hope it's not her friends again. I feel like we've already gone over this... Welp, one way to find out.' With a flash of light, Discord poofed into the throne-room in front of Twilight.

"Now, what's with the long face?" Discord asked, using his claws to stretch his face out like putty.

Twilight just sighed again and turned away.

Discord frowned and then hurried to snap his face back into place as his mouth slide to the floor. "Is this about your old ex-friends?" He asked, poofing up the dolls and then throwing them over his shoulder as they shrieked. "Forget about them. You know what they say, with friends like those, who needs enemies?"

*BAH DA BA!*

There were two drumbeats and a crash of symbols above Discord's head as he waved his claws.

Twilight didn't even react.

"Nothing? Not even a teeny tiny smile? You aren't going to talk to me at all?" He snuck a quick peek to make sure he hadn't zippered her mouth shut and forgotten about it. This unerring silence was just unnatural...and not in a good way.

"I'm hurt. It's like you don't trust me..." He tried his puppy dog eyes, but even that failed to get a response.

'Hmm, time to think outside the box...', Discord pulled a key from his ear and unlocked his thought box. It only took a few moments for him to come across an idea crazy enough to work. (And amuse him at the same time.)

Discord snapped his fingers and pulled a microphone from the chandelier. He cleared his throat, coughed out a few bats and a piano, and opened his mouth-

Now little Twilight, listen to me

I can bring you anything you could need

Twilight looked up in confusion at the circling draconaguus above her. "Discord?" she asked, before getting cut off as Discord zippered her mouth shut.

"Nah ah ahh," Discord scolded shaking a claw at her. "Please save your questions for after the performance." Ignoring Twilight's death glare he straightened his tie and rubbed in a spot on his mic. "Now where was I...? Oh!"

A little glass of water, maybe?

Or how about some tea with honey?

He looked at Twilight expectantly, only to face-palm dramatically as he remembered that he had zipped her mouth shout. Unzipping her mouth, he offered her a glass of water.

"I'm not really thirsty right now, Thank You." Twilight said icily, as she glared at the draconaquus.

"Hmm..." Discord stroked his goatee before turning off the light bulb above his head.

Well if you need a little rest

Discord poofed Twilight off her throne and onto a bed floating in midair.

Just make me that small request

I'll make sure your bed passes the test

and it'll be quiet as a tomb

"A tomb?!" Twilight shrieked.
Discord winced and zipped her mouth shut again, before continuing with his song.

My goodness, I'm a nincompoop!

Discord dramatically slapped himself in the face again, as a stage appeared under him, allowing him to continue in full Shakesponian glory.

I'm afraid time's thrown me for a loop

How about some pumpkin soup?

Twilight just raised an eyebrow as Discord offered her soup. Seemingly unaware of her plight, (or simply ignoring it) he continued with his song.

Or some blankets made out of zinnias?

Now Twilight looked at him in confusion as a few colorful petals rained down on her. Which quickly turned to panic as she was smothered with flowers.

Did I say zinnias? I meant silk

The flowers turned into a long silk rope wrapped around her. Discord gave the end a tug and sent Twilight twirling around the ballroom.

Or something shiny of that ilk...

Twilight crashed into a rubber mirror...and was promptly propelled back onto her throne.

Would you prefer some nice warm milk?

Discord sang as he wheeled in a tea trolley with towering glasses of milk.

Twilight just glared up at him.

And pastries from Abyssinia?

The top of the trolley detached itself from the cart and flew around the room once, before coming to an abrupt stop mere inches from Twilight's muzzle. Bringing with it a couple of very strong smelling pastries.

Seeing the face Twilight made as she tried not to gag, Discord poofed the desserts away.

Or if your stomach's feeling crummy

I'll give you something for your tummy

Twilight gave Discord a slightly panicked look,...which he ignored as he kept singing.

Something soothing, something yummy

Twilight barely had half a second to look relieved before...

Piled up with noodles!

Twilight did her best to flail in panic as she tried to free herself from the massive pile of noodles that had wrapped her up in the world's biggest game of Cat's Cradle.

Or how about some homemade rye?

With daises piled up inside

Served with a story on the side

Twilight blinked and she was sitting in the cozy armchair from earlier with a warm glow emitting from the fireplace in front of her. On a side table there was a daisy-on-rye sandwich and a book.

It was very cozy if you ignored the fact that she was tied up in noodles, with her mouth zipped shut and random bits of flowers and thread stuck to her mane and tail. Not to mention the sour chocolate milk.
(And for those of you wondering: No, chocolate does not make everything better. Twilight just disproved that notion. Make a note of it.)

And a friend to say hi

"..."

'Oops.' Discord thought as he saw the not so friendly look Twilight was giving him right now. Thinking fast, he snapped his claws, turning out the lights and cleaning everything up in less then a second. ( .21337th of a second, to be exact)

When Twilight could see straight again, (Discord was fond of the whole world tilting and flashing lights thing) She saw that she was cleaned up and seated in a front row seat to 'Discord- The Musical'. The lights dimmed again and the curtains opened to Discord in a fancy suit holding his microphone.

You know I'm grateful for your charity

Discord sang softly as Twilight rolled her eyes.

Of being my friend

Twilight froze.

And I'll be your faithful companion

A small smile crept onto her face.

With you until the very end...

"Discord, you are one crazy friend" Twilight laughed as she jumped onstage to give him a hug.

"Right...So..." Discord said uncomfortably as he pried her off of him and teleported her back to her seat.

"Ready for the big reprise?" He asked, grinning.

'Oh no' Twilight thought, before round two began.

If you'd like a glass of water, please

A magic spell to cure disease

A fresh pressed hankie if you sneeze

A fresh bouquet of daises

Discord presented Twilight with a pawful of flowers...

Some chocolate rain for you to drink

That nearly drowned her in chocolate milk. Again.

Or cotton candy in your sink

Or piles of hay before you blink

If you feel like being lazy

Twilight's eyes rolled around in her head as she tried to get her bearings.

Discord just grinned at her and stretched out under his cotton candy hay stack.

Twilight only just registered that she was on a giant stack of hay, shaped like a book fort, before he was off singing and teleporting her again.

How about some books for you to read

Or even all the libraries?

Shrunk to the size of little peas

You could read them with a pekingese

Or a singing harp who's named Louise

"Seriously?!" Twilight squeaked as she pried herself out from under a giant dog as a 'singing' harp shrieked in her ear.

Or more

Just as she freed herself, an avalanche of pillows fell on her head. Several of them spearing themselves on her horn.

And more

Twilight's eyes widened as it started raining letters

And more

and pages starting closing in from all sides of the rooms

Of these!!!

and all of the books opened up and their illustrations came to life, causing her to run in terror after a book on the creatures of the Everfree got caught up in Discord's magic.

Twilight shook her head, she was getting very dizzy from all of the room spinning and item dropping Discord was doing right now.

And just because I outta

And then dove under a table to escape from a manticore

Make sure you've got everything that you could ever want

then scrambled out when the table came to life

Come day or night

jumped over a stream of psychotic letters trying to shear off her mane

I wish I may

slid under a polka dotted sea serpent's belly

I wish I might

straight into a timberwolf

Give you one tiny thing

which promptly turned into a giant fire puppet

Oh can I finally bring

and roasted marshmallows fell all around her.

You that tiny glass of waterrrrr!

And with that ending note, Discord pulled a draw-bell cord and everything washed away down the drain.

Twilight sighed in relief as she looked around the perfectly normal (or at least no stranger then it had been when they created it) room.

"So what do you say, Twilight?" Discord asked, puppy eyes practically begging for themselves, "Would you like a glass of water?"

Twilight sighed again, this time in that long suffering sigh of annoyance and amusement that came with associating with Discord. "Sure, Discord. I would love a glass of water."

Discord smiled as he passed a glass to Twilight while his left claw crossed his talons behind his back. His smile grew as he raised his glass in a toast. "To our friendship!".

"To our friendship." Twilight repeated, taking a long drink from her glass. 'I hope it doesn't kill me...'

Comments

[Maze Tail]

I love this song with a few changes it fits nicely and the colours because you used different on each letter. Love this chapter can't wait for the next one keep up the awesome work.

[Nikolas]

[MeadowRosePony]

6908743 I'm so glad you noticed that! It took me 3 days to do that (mostly because I had to take a break every hour because the letters were swimming) but still. Thank you! Keep reading and I'll keep writing!

[MeadowRosePony]

6908967

[raw666]

Great job, keep up the good work,.

[MeadowRosePony]

6950732

[Patata1312]

I love it, are you going to continue it?
I really hope so.

[MeadowRosePony]

7063192 Thank you. You have no idea how much your comment means to me. Every time I get frustrated with a scene or chapter not going the way I want, it never fails that someone has left a positive comment and that cheers me right up. To answer your question, I am definitely going to continue this story! I would say that you can expect a chapter sometime in early May.

p.s. I can't believe I didn't notice your comment for 3 weeks!* wow... Sorry!
*NOTE TO SELF: SCROLL DOWN!