Chapter 7
"So why'd you just up and show up?" Rainbow Dash kicked her hooves absently, creating small currents of water in the Ponyville Spa's central bathtub. "I mean, not that it wasn't cool seeing you make that Starlight pony look like a dork, but why drop everything like that?" Why indeed, Twilight mused.
"I think your other friends might be able to explain better than I. But," Celestia studied the looks of those nearest to her. Curiosity, support. Twilight lost in thought. She decided to press on. "Recently, Twilight has been helping me grow more open. I have been in turn growing closer to her, now that we have been more honest with ourselves."
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Wait...when did this happen?"
"It began about three and a half weeks ago now." Celestia began. "Twilight burst into my study asking about--"
"Hearts and Hooves Day?" Rainbow shot Twilight a smile. "Alright, Twi! Ya finally scored it big with her!"
Twilight flustered, her wings twitching and then shooting out on either side. "I didn't 'score'! We went on a--well, a date, and then--"
"About time you talked it out with your Princess! Been waiting for this to come up since, like, the Grand Galloping Gala." Rainbow placed her hooves behind her head.
"My Princess? Rainbow, I'm a Princess too." Twilight tried to wave a hoof, but the hint of a blush caught the eye of Dash, Rarity and Celestia all at once.
"Well yeah, but you aren't your Princess. Anyway, I wanna hear how Twi bagged the Big C. Gimme the juicy goods. C'mon!" Dash looked over at Celestia, who hid an eye behind her mane and looked away.
"Rainbow Dash, that is inherently crass. Let Celestia finish her thought." Rarity shook her head, then turned to Celestia with a tender smile. The two shared the look for a moment, breaking eye contact only when Dash responded.
"Okay, okay. Just lettin' you know I probably know the ending, and I think it's about time." Dash waved a hoof. "But please. Tell me whatever ya wanna say. I wanna know how we got here."
"Very well. You see, it all began when Twilight asked me to accompany her on an attempt at a double date..."
Celestia launched into her explanation, all eyes on her. As her voice began to drift into that warm, comfortable territory Twilight so loved, Twilight began to muse on Celestia and the emotions this morning had brought up in her. Love was the first. She was so beautiful when that eternal smile of hers rang true. The little pinch at the corners of her eyes. The way her pupils widened just enough to let in an extra twinkle of light. The way her nose twitched ever so slightly when she spoke. Details Twilight had memorized years ago, when the contents of that smile had been the way she'd measured her progress toward her hopes and dreams.
But it had been rare to see it back then. It had been like a ray of sun breaking through a sea of rainclouds. Only coming out in the smallest, most gentle of places, and only for fleeting moments. She, Spike and Cadance had been the only ones ever blessed by its light. But these days, Celestia wore it freely and for ponies well outside her private circle. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had not so much as spoken to her in private once, but she would still shoot them that same dazzling smile. Her voice was halfway to a laugh when she spoke, even when it was to the spa staff that would normally receive only the most formal of addresses in response to their pandering bows.
Then there was that next emotion. Pride. For Celestia and for herself. Celestia, for how truly joyful she seemed to be outside of Canterlot and together with ponies she could trust. And herself, for Twilight's heart glowed with private warmth in the times when she could fight her doubts back and truly believe she was the reason Celestia was as happy as she was. Ignoring the perpetual dull buzz of toothless anxieties--am I really good enough for her? Does she really love me, or just the comfort I bring?--there was another emotion brewing in her that she so rarely ascribed to Celestia. Hurt.
It had taken her a while to notice. She'd only had a few data points to work with, after all. And a younger, more naive Twilight had once believed Celestia was physically incapable of hurting her. But the trend was persistent where it sprung up. Twilight was often told she was bad at reading ponies. This wasn't strictly true. She was bad at reading what they said. Contexts, nuances that could go one way or the other, these things confused her. Absolutes did not. And as Queen Chrysalis had found out the hard way, she was excellent at reading who ponies were.
Whether it was deducing Applejack was a workaholic within days of meeting her, being the only pony to identify Luna as being a lonely and troubled soul who wanted friends when she'd arrived last Nightmare Night or knowing exactly when and when not to trust Discord on his word, Twilight could pick up on another pony's demeanor better than most. At least, that was what her experience told her. And her experience also told her that a particularly emotional Celestia was prone to causing collateral damage.
Speaking of Queen Chrysalis, that had been where it had started. Her own brother--Celestia's own captain of the guard, her most trusted defender--tormented and brainwashed under Celestia's nose. Celestia's niece locked under the catacombs of Canterlot while a fake enjoyed Celestia's blessings, her Princess none the wiser and not even bothering to look. She'd sent Twilight to the Crystal Empire--perhaps by way of apology?--in place of Luna, despite Luna's clearly wanting to help out. Luna's jab at her as she had left for the Crystal Empire had done little to hide the pain in her voice and across her face. She could only imagine how snubbed Luna might be feeling now.
It had become most obvious most recently. She'd allowed Discord to hunt a weakened Tirek in place of dozens of more dependable allies, and thereby endangered all of Equestria and traumatized hundreds of her own citizens. That had been what really opened up her eyes. And then she noticed smaller instances, like allowing Fluttershy to weep over Philomena's ashes for the sake of her beloved pet's practical joke. Or laughing off the destruction at the Gala just because she'd gotten to spend time alone with Twilight herself. What always came up was that there was some pony she cared about that she had focused in on, ignoring the feelings of another.
And nopony knew this feeling of being trod upon better than Twilight. It had given her a lot think about, after all. She fought down the grimace at the memory, ignoring the look of confusion it was prompting out of Rarity. Most recently Celestia's penchant for getting swept up in her feelings had cost her a great deal more than a temporarily broken heart. Her house, her prize possessions, her own beloved Owlowliscious, all lost to the wrath of Tirek, a foe she could have stopped in his tracks within hours if Celestia hadn't hoped Discord could impress her the way Twilight did.
Twilight got it. She did. With Luna and Sunset and how Twilight herself had brought them back towards stability, she got wanting Discord to be like that. To be more accessible. More compassionate. Like Luna, like Sunset, and maybe with a change like theirs, he could be one of those few friends Celestia was so desperately searching for. But he wasn't, or hadn't been, and Celestia had neither seen that nor trusted her to see it for her. And now she lived in a giant empty castle with a charred box and empty perch to keep her and Spike company.
"Twilight? Is everything alright?" Rarity whispered to her. Celestia was, for her part, gingerly explaining the details of how she and Twilight had become so much closer to a curious Rainbow Dash, the others listening with rapt attention.
Across from her, Celestia gestured at her with a wing. "I think it was then that we realized. It was...an enchanting revelation." She blushed a quiet blush.
Turning back to Rarity, Twilight gave a tight smile. "Nothing I can't handle."
"Wait...revelation?! What?!" Dash's voice cut through Twilight and Rarity's conversation. "Okay, but seriously, I can't have been the only one who'd noticed before." Dash looked around at the blank faces staring back at her. "Wait, really?! Come on, ponies!"
"Noticed what, dear?" Rarity called back.
"Duh! The thing between Twilight and Celestia! I mean, did she feed you that 'she's my idol' horseapples too?" Dash rolled her eyes. "Lemme tell you about idols. The Bolts are my idols. Spitfire is my idol. I wanna be like them and get famous like them. I think they'd be cool to chill with. Twi doesn't want to chill with you. She wants to spend forever with you. She doesn't want to be like you. She wants to be loved by you. Like, seriously, did nopony else notice this?! We have ponies like Twi at the Bolts. They aren't worshiping heroes, they're...well, they're crushing. They get this same starry look in their eyes whenever they see one of us and they treat backstage passes like dates and seriously it's like watching Twi at the Gala all over again." Dash gave both Celestia and Twilight a smug look. "You could have just talked to me and saved everypony a lot of trouble. Did nopony else actually notice this?!"
"I just thought that was normal for your heroes..." Twilight sank lower into the tub, hiding herself from view further and further.
"Well you don't treat Starswirl like that, do you?!" Rainbow rolled her eyes.
"N-not in public." Twilight whispered. Her assembled friends stared at this, Celestia raising one eyebrow in a small smile. "It's mostly just in dreams, anyway."
"You're a weird pony, Twi." Dash rustled her mane with affection.
Twilight only reddened at this. "Anyway, uh, I don't see her like that now, obviously. I guess I...I try to think of her more as a pony." She gave a smile at Celestia, who in turn smiled back.
"Well yeah. That sorta junk happens to everypony when they get a crush. Weird thing for older magical ponies or not. You either grow out of it or you move on." Rainbow shrugged. "Just weird neither one of you picked up on it. Thought you knew." Twilight flustered.
"In fairness, such a thing seemed like a perhaps overly-formal respect for me. For example, latent feelings for me do not explain why she still insisted on my title, even as my equal." Celestia pursed her lips.
"Yeah...that's not why she calls you Princess." Rainbow explained. At the blank looks of the surrounding ponies--and Twilight's slow dawning realization--Rainbow began to crack up, a hoof held to her lips badly disguising the inelegant snickering she was currently engaged in.
"Rainbow Dash," Twilight began dangerously, "if you're going where I think you're going with this I have to say that you're wrong, and if you're not wrong, you've misunderstood the concept, and if you've not misunderstood, you've--"
"Yeah, whatever you say, Princess." Dash winked, then turned back to Celestia. "You never noticed? She never says 'the Princess' or 'Princess Celestia' around you. She never says 'Princess Luna' or 'Princess Cadance' anymore, but you're still 'Princess'..." Dash gave Twilight a look of unbearable smugness, relishing the way she squirmed more the longer the conversation carried.
"Rainbow Dash, if you finish that sentence so help me I will turn you into a geranium! I've done it to ponies before, I can do it again!" Twilight's horn was lit, but her bluff was called long before the threat had left her mouth.
"You're not the Princess. You're her Princess. This dork's been calling you that for like two years now and you didn't even notice? Come on, does nopony else see this stuff?!" Twilight's raging blush only made Dash burst into a fresh round of laughter. Twilight fired off her invisibility spell, hiding her spreading embarrassment behind walls of diffracted light. With a flourish of magic she vanished, leaving Rainbow to double over with mirth.
The others were speechless, sharing awkward glances while Dash tried and failed to compose herself. Rarity at last broke the silence once Dash's guffaws had settled into giggles and her hoof had stopped banging on the side of the tub. "You mean to say that Twilight uses Celestia's title as a...pet name?"
Rainbow's smug grin said everything, but before she could deign to speak again a magical zipper sealed her mouth shut. She rolled her eyes and gestured in the direction of where Twilight had formerly been sitting, then nodded in assent to Rarity's inquiry.
Twilight was rescued from her pit of humiliation by Pinkie Pie speaking up. "A pet name?! Oooh, can I have one?! Can I, Fluttershy?!" Pinkie turned to the baffled pegasus abruptly. "I promise to feed it and water it and take it on walks just like Gummy, and I'll even come to you when it's sick instead of feeding it Magical Medicinal Cupcakes until it feels better!"
"I'm still not sure how that works..." Fluttershy admitted with a tilt of her head.
"Pie Family Secret Recipe! Keeps all our favourite rocks healthy!" Pinkie nodded sagely.
"Pinkie...a pet name is a type of nickname one uses to denote strong affection towards another pony." Rarity said each word slowly, careful to emphasize the right syllables.
"Ooooooh! You mean like 'Dashie'! Or 'little Spikey Wikey!" Pinkie Pie nodded in affirmation.
"W-well...yes. Could we perhaps not use that as an example? I wouldn't exactly want that compared to quite how Twilight means it..." Rarity blushed, grumbling her words into the tub.
"Rainbow Dash," Celestia chuckled, "while I appreciate your...colourful interpretation of Twilight's thoughts regarding my person, neither of us chose to see our relationship at the time in such terms, and it seems your words are causing present company some degree of embarrassment. In light of this, I would like to return to my story, that we might all regain some composure?"
Dash crossed her hooves, but gave a reluctant nod. Her mouth unzipped itself.
"Ahh," Twilight sighed in relief, undoing her current spells. "Thank you, Pri--" her hooves flew to her mouth. Eyes widening in horror. "Just...just continue the story." Twilight slunk back to the edge of the tub. Rarity followed her.
"Yes, well, that dose of humiliation courtesy of Rainbow aside...Know that whatever your problem is, the others and I will all be here for you." Rarity gestured back at the group, who were currently cooing at Celestia's description of the first time she and Twilight had touched horns.
Twilight chewed the inside of her cheek. "Thanks, but I...think we need to work this out on our own. Celestia and I need to figure out how to handle these sorts of things in private." She turned to face Rarity with a sheepish smile. "Sorry."
"I suppose that does make sense." Rarity touched a hoof to Twilight's shoulder. "Just remember that we'll be here if you need us." They looked over at Celestia, who was currently laughing at a trademark Pinkie Pie line about the mental magic applications of tofu and skin cream. "For both of you."
"That means a lot." Twilight nodded. "That you'd be there for her, I mean. I guess that's why I'm not really talking about it." She rubbed her hoof with a shoulder. "She's just starting to explore all this. I mean, look at how happy she is!" Celestia gave Twilight a questioning look. Twilight simply waved a hoof, shooting her a big smile. When Celestia turned back to Pinkie, Twilight continued with a whisper. "I don't want to take that away from her."
"So long as you're happy too. Whatever you do, don't allow your emotions to build up. It will only make the inevitable outburst worse."
Twilight sighed. "I know. But I have to find the right time to say it. Otherwise..." Celestia was now regaling the other ponies with a story of how she had once prevented a batch of poisoned wine from reaching a diplomat's table by dumping tofu in the barrel, and the stink the griffons had raised at the lack of wine. "We could lose this. Do you really want that?"
"Of course not! I merely think it's best we address the issue sooner, rather than later."
"I just need a good time to get her alone."
"If you say so." Rarity poked her side, then turned towards the group. "I'm rooting for you, dear." Rarity waded back over to Celestia, injecting herself into the conversation with a comment about how a proper dinner party would never have collapsed in on itself simply because of a lack of alcohol. Celestia began to describe the full decay of the evening and how it was cemented by a griffon ambassador spiking the fruit punch offered in place of new wine with copious amounts of hard whisky. Everypony laughed at the mention of one of the Saddle Marabian ambassadors blurting out with horror that the other guests were naked.
Twilight shared the laugh, but soon her thoughts went back to the conundrum. It was easy to ignore early into their relationship. Was it ungrateful of her to even be upset about it? Celestia endured so many of her flaws with such grace. Her awkwardness, her rigidness, her...episodes...no. Don't go down that path. You know where that path leads and you're better than it. She sucked in a breath, composing her thoughts with the rush of fresh air. The point was, Celestia already accepted so many of her flaws. Maybe she could just learn to live with this one?
She could hope things started getting better again. Maybe Celestia would notice on her own? No, past evidence said that was unlikely. Twilight let out the breath, and her doubts with it. Celestia hadn't even suspected from the hints Twilight had tried to drop. She'd noticed Twilight hated the new castle but hadn't noticed why. She'd noticed Twilight didn't want to talk about pets but didn't think it might be because her own had flown for parts unknown after his near-death at Tirek's claws. And it was, if she was honest with herself, getting worse. Celestia was leaning on more and more ponies these days, deferring more and more work to Twilight and her aides without a second thought or a moment to consider their ability to handle it.
But she was so happy! Who was Twilight to take that away from her? And she'd already given Twilight so much. Her education, a chance to meet and make her friends, her home. The library she was so worked up about losing had been arranged for her by Celestia, for pony's sake! Her higher thinking told her to leave this be. Let this go. But she'd learned to be more than just a calculator in Ponyville. Whether it was learning about potions from Zecora or new types of earth pony magic from her interactions with Pinkie Pie, she'd learned to open her mind to new ways of thinking. Please Celestia. Ignore your own feelings. That's what her old self would have done.
But she was a bigger pony now. All those surface doubts and insecurities fell away in the face of what her instincts told her was the truth. And her instincts told her that the truth was that this wasn't healthy. Twilight was only a year old as a Princess. Celestia's court wasn't built for running the country in her absence. But more and more that was what Celestia was using them for. She'd never up and cancelled court for such a petty reason before. She was delegating more and more to Equestria's newest Princess, and Twilight had been enabling that against her better judgement. Celestia was leaning harder and harder with each passing day.
That kind of dependency wasn't sustainable. Even if Twilight had had the experience to take over Celestia's job, or her court had the ability to handle Equestria like Celestia herself did, that would still leave Celestia borderline abdicating. And Twilight knew Celestia didn't want that, even if right now she was being pulled in that direction by the allure of her new friendships. A lot of things were hidden behind Celestia's mask. But one of those was that she genuinely did love helping Equestria, and all the ponies in it.
Somepony needed to remind her of that. Somepony needed to show her that she could balance her friends with her work. She flapped her wings. Who better than the Princess of Friendship to remind Celestia of the importance of making sure you had a healthy balance between work and friends? Yes, she could do this. Better still, she could do it in a way that was right for Celestia and for her. Her resolve was undercut by a startled yelp from Rainbow Dash. She turned around to see water dripping from every point of her friend's mane. Looking at the shocked expressions of the other ponies, she'd splashed Dash with that flap of her wings. Whoops.
"Why you little--" Rainbow tackled her into the water, and then began to volley water at her when she resurfaced. Twilight couldn't help but giggle, returning fire with flaps of her own wings and hooves. One of Twilight's shots went wide, making a course straight for a suddenly terrified Fluttershy. Celestia extended a wing to protect the cowering pony, then flicked a barrage of water back at Twilight. Applejack surprised Dash with a tail flick that knocked her off her hooves and sent her spluttering back into the tub. It was then that Pinkie sucked in a great breath of water and spat it back out at Rarity in a torrential spout. Rarity shrieked, threw up a wall of water with her magic that managed to uppercut Celestia, and soon the entire tub had devolved into a splash fight.
Eventually, Twilight ended the fight with a flourish of her horn, pulling Rainbow up in a bubble of magic and pummeling her with gusts of water until she at last managed a hasty 'I give!' One stern telling off from Aloe and Lotus and a sheepish apology from the assembled ponies later, they were beginning to towel themselves off. Celestia was asking about mane cuts, holding up the frayed and butchered ends of her mane where Starlight had so clumsily chopped them. Twilight had made sure to ask for the same, though she didn't really need one. She'd been wanting to try a new manestyle for a while now. Something a little more daring. Just to test it out.
"Surprise me," she told the spa ponies. "I want something a little more...exciting." She ran a hoof through her mane, emphasizing the careful, measured nature of her bangs with a thoughtful frown. While the stylists set to work bringing out the flair in her hair, she watched Celestia relax. Again that doubt was there. Did she really need to do this?
"I hope you don't find the new manecut too upsetting, Twilight," Celestia's eyes were wide and dazzling, holding promises of mischief. But her primaries were still at her side. Half of a joke, then. "I know the loss of my old style was quite traumatic for you."
Twilight resisted the urge to apply a hoof to her forehead. "It wasn't about the mane, Princess. You said you'd be okay, and then you went and did that--"
"And it turned out fine in the end, did it not?"
"I guess, but--you were right with what you said. Who'd raise the sun if Starlight had run off with your Cutie Mark? What you did put a lot of ponies in danger, and you didn't tell me you were doing it until it had already started to happen."
"And what if you'd been carted away by her and never seen again? I needed something to draw her attention away from you and your friends. I worry about you, too, you know." Celestia's brow furrowed. "Am I not allowed to do that? I saw you captured and drained of your magic and your purpose in life. From my perspective I reacted exactly the same way you would have if the same had been done to me, and with very similar results."
"Yeah...I guess that makes sense. But the kingdom can run without me! What about you?"
"I know a certain alicorn who has a great deal of experience in saving me. I thought it high time I attempt to return the favour. And I succeeded!" Celestia sighed. "I just hoped you'd be happy for me. Heaven knows nopony else in the family would be." Celestia looked down.
"I am happy for you. Just...not over this. Not the way you did it. I didn't feel like I was being saved."
"You don't think so?"
"I know so. You didn't ask what I wanted at all. You just came in and swept all the problems I was dealing with away without even talking to me about how I wanted to solve them or if I even wanted your help. Whether I did or not, you didn't even bother asking. I just--I feel like--ugh!" Twilight grit her teeth, turning away from Celestia.
"Twilight?"
"I just...I don't..." Twilight sighed again. "That whole time I felt like I was being used. Just a part in your plan. I hate that feeling."
"You hate when I include you in my plans?"
"I hate that you don't talk to me about them! I hate that you don't ask for my input!" Everypony stared at her. She gave her best shot at a reassuring smile at the assembled ponies. She lowered her voice. "It makes me feel like what I think doesn't matter to you. Like I'm a chess piece, not a friend or an ally. That hurts."
"Twilight, sometimes my plans require trust and cooperation in order for them to work. You were going to depend on Fluttershy behaving as you wished for your own plan. She was a moving part that had a role you needed her to play. I needed the same of another pony. I needed them to perform my plan perfectly and without question. There are only a hooffull of ponies I can say I am willing to put my freedom in the hooves of. It is because of how much I value and appreciate your outlook, the pony I trusted was you."
"No." Twilight's wings fidgeted. "It's because you value my loyalty. Which is still here. And always will be. But you didn't ask me if I was okay with your plan. I asked Fluttershy if she was okay with what I wanted her to do. I told her exactly what it was before I asked her, and I told her why I needed her to do it. That goes a long way. And you didn't."
"But I did ask you, Twilight. I asked you before anything else."
"But I didn't--look, if I'd known what the plan was--which I always tell my friends whenever possible--I wouldn't have just up and said yes. We didn't need to let her take your Cutie Mark. What if she'd had a way to apply it to herself? What if she'd had a way to destroy it forever? It was a big risk. And we could have talked it out and found another way. One which--"
"I thought you'd said all you needed to say. If I had known..."
"I didn't want to have this conversation then!" Twilight hissed the words. "We had a town to save. Or you did, I guess."
Celestia sighed. "So what am I expected to do in the future, then?"
"Princess...This isn't a royal order." Twilight looked directly at Celestia. "You've been hurting ponies. I just...needed to tell you. And not just me, or the ponies your plan could have hurt. You've been doing this to the court, too."
Celestia blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"You just sort of up and dumped your morning work on them for a spa day. And that's not counting all the extra work you've given them--and me--without consulting on how we should do it. I don't want to make this about work--for me it's about us--but it's started to trickle into your work, too. And it hurts them, just like me. And not just us, either!" Twilight shook her head. "Fluttershy, the ponies at the Gala, my brother...I just...it wasn't so bad before, but since we've been together it's gotten more common."
Celestia's veins ran cold. She blinked. "How long has this been building, Twilight?"
"Well--technically, I--I mean, I just didn't want to hurt you, so I didn't--but...About half a year." Twilight sighed. "I started noticing around the Wedding. But it was worst with Tirek. That was when I decided I needed to say something."
"And I'm only hearing about it now?"
"I didn't want to hurt you, okay! You're getting all defensive and closing up into yourself, exactly like I didn't want. So I tried to just...let it be, you know? You do enough of that for me." Twilight drooped her head. "I'm sorry for making you feel this way."
Twilight heard a long, deep breath enter Celestia's chest. Watched in disbelief as she hauled herself together with a gust of air, the same way Twilight herself would. She let it out, and then looked at Twilight with remorse.
"You are saying I'm not communicating enough. Not taking the feelings of others into account. Yes?"
"Yes! That's...that's exactly what I'm saying." Twilight's wings settled back into place.
"I am sorry. For not seeing the signs you laid out. For making you feel you could not say anything directly. For shutting down what you were saying. I will endeavor to do better." Celestia glanced at the ponies working around her. They were, mercifully, not paying much attention to the conversation so much as trying to focus on a manecut they treated with the gravity of a waiting execution.
"Thank you." Twilight let herself stretch out on the spa chair more. Celestia looked over at her friends. They all seemed to be concerned. But not angry. None of them were glaring. All of them were worried. Not angry. Worried. Worried for them. Not angry at her.
"But I also need to stress: I was completely unaware this was how you felt."
"Well it is." Twilight reached a hoof over, ignoring the mane stylist's protests, and rested it on Celestia's shoulder. "I'm not mad, alright? I just need you to listen to me, okay? Don't treat me like I'm just another subject. And notice when you're hurting me."
"I will endeavor to do so. But Twilight, I may not--I...feel I should explain my reasoning more. More privately." She looked at the salon staff, who continued to work away at her mane without glancing back, bullets of sweat cascading down their brows.
Twilight smiled. "I'd be happy to hear anything you feel the need to share."
Celestia sighed, but cracked a wry grin. "You're going to make this into a friendship lesson at this rate."
"I learned from the best." Twilight said smugly. They sat in silence while the stylists worked, the peace that they had reached sinking into the air around them. That old electricity that tingled in her whenever she looked at Celestia was back, the twist of hurt from before at last starting to unravel.
"When was the last time you got a manecut?" Twilight broke the silence. The stylists began to add gel, something she hadn't expected. Then again, 'exciting' hadn't exactly been specific by way of instructions.
"I haven't properly needed one in forty years." Celestia smiled back at her. "I usually just get a quick trim around the edges before speeches and diplomatic meetings. But manestyles change. When I was younger I liked to put it in curls. It made me feel more proper."
"I've seen the illustrations. You looked good in those." Twilight's thoughts went to the fateful Tale of the Two Sisters book she'd read a lifetime ago. "What made you change your mane?"
"I liked it better with the highlights." Celestia rested the side of her head against the spa table, enjoying a long gaze into Twilight's eyes. "The classic Hayllenic-era curls projected authority and matched the beauty standards a more insecure mare wanted to reach, but as society grew more liberal and many different types of looks began to gain more attention, I decided a more colourful look was in order. I let my mane grow to its full length, discovered I enjoyed the look. It seemed to have more personality to it." She tilted her head, annoying the stylist. "Which do you prefer?"
Twilight giggled. "I mean, I grew up with the longer one. I really like all the colours. I used to try to think what time of the day each one referenced when you were doing review sometimes."
"Twilight Sparkle, daydreaming in class?" Celestia gave a gasp. "You think you know a pony."
"Hush. I'd already memorized the lessons twice. We both know those reviews classes weren't made for me and that's fine. But I had to do something to keep myself from going stir-crazy. Practicing my sketches, mapping stars, casual math." Celestia had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at that last one. "I think I actually invented a new spell that way when I was fourteen. The moustache one?"
"Moustache one?" Celestia raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe I'm privy to this particular spell."
"Oh, yeah. I saw a hair growth charm, but it only targeted manes and tails. It didn't have the precision for facial hair trims. So I modified it to target hair roots individually instead of collectively." Celestia's eyes widened.
"Is that why that bully in the guard school had that hideous little pencil affair for all of Ninth Year?"
Twilight giggled. "He wouldn't stop teasing Shiny about how short his coat was. Called him baldy-pony. You saw how I reacted to Chrysalis. I had to do something."
"Twilight Sparkle, closet bully hunter." Celestia chuckled. "And how did all this slip past me, I wonder?"
"A mare is allowed to have her secrets! It's not like you were watching my every move. I had adventures while you were away at court, you know. Bookworm adventures, but they were adventures still. Some time I'll have to tell you about the time I got locked in the Restricted section on a rainy Sunday at the Royal Library." Twilight's remiscing was interrupted by the spa ponies stepping away from Celestia. They cleared their throats awkwardly, and it was only now that Twilight noticed their quiet, professionalized terror. The way they would share tremoring looks at one another, as if volleying blame between one another. She rolled her eyes and looked over at Celestia's mane. Tilted her head. Studied it.
Celestia looked into the mirror. The pony staring back at her looked completely different from before. Her mane was about three times the length of her coat hair, and no longer covered her ear or her eye on the side it was combed over on. It ran down to the base of her skull, no further, and curled slightly at the tips. The end result was something more girlish than she was used to. More approachable, too. She looked about 600 years younger. Perhaps I went too far...
"W-what do you think, Your Majesty?" The two of them waited for the drop of Celestia's guillotine with dignity, eyes shut but heads held high. Twilight noticed Rarity watching from her own perch, worrying away at her lip. Was it really so bad? It was certainly...different. But it wasn't the end of the world, was it?
"I think it's wonderful." Celestia smiled, the ponies below her relaxing. "You both should be very proud." Twilight rolled her eyes. They'd actually fallen for it. Then Celestia looked over. "Oh my..." Twilight blinked. Something in her--oh right. She'd asked for something, too. She glanced into the mirror. And her eyes widened, her face growing into a smile.
"Wow! This looks so--so different! Hey Dash! Check this out!" Rainbow, who had been enjoying a nice nap while she dried off, snapped awake at the mention. She bolted off her couch to fly over. "Doesn't it look cool?" She tossed her locks, which were now windswept and gelled into a cascade of pink and purple that swept back from her head and curled over one side.
"Twilight?! Is that you? Hey, did somepony lose an egghead?! Maybe I should ask this radical Princess. Have you seen a bookworm around here anywhere?" She elbowed Twilight, who giggled in turn.
"Thanks. Both of you. This is exactly what I wanted." The two ponies seemed relieved before, but now they were positively glowing.
"How much will all this come to?" Celestia chimed in.
"Oh, we couldn't possibly--"
"For everypony." Celestia interrupted, a light blue glint reflecting in her eyes. "It's my treat."
"W-well, for a full treatment...that comes to three hundred and twenty four bits." They both gave nervous smiles. "But for you--"
"I expect the same treatment as any other customer." She said this firmly, but gently, giving them both a gentle smile. "It helps me to relax."
"Y-yes, your Majesty." They both bowed. Celestia, for her part, levitated over three large golden bars and then a collection of smaller coins. Their treatments done, they trotted to the waiting room and sat down together. "Thank you for indulging me, Twilight." She glanced around. It was still extremely early. Most ponies were at work. The receptionist was reading a magazine. So she lowered her voice and began. "I suppose I have some explaining to do now."
"Only if you want to." Twilight stressed. "I just need you to listen to me. Respect my feelings. Okay?"
Celestia nodded. "And by that same token, I too need to say this, and need you to listen."
Twilight rubbed the back of her head. "Right, uh, sorry. Go on."
"The first unicorn rebellion my sister and I dealt with did not go so favourably as the one we dealt with today. We were much younger. More naive. And he was far more ruthless than Starlight Glimmer." Celestia gave a sympathetic laugh. "The poor dear was scared more than anything. Lashing out at me and at Equestria for goodness only knows what private hurt. Sombra," Twilight perked up at the name, and the sigh that came with it, "Sombra was different. He enslaved the minds of his subjects. He created dark magic that tormented his citizens for his own amusement and to secure his power. Luna and I rushed in, then, thinking to quash the rebellion quickly with our superior magic. Without a plan, without analyzing the situation, we failed. Sombra took the Empire with him. And the Crystal Empire lost a thousand years of its history for my mistake.
"This was also the reason I was initially so furious when I arrived in Ponyville one fateful day to see that you had brainwashed the town. I was not thinking clearly--no-one was after Discord's return--and assumed the worst."
"What?" Twilight's eyes widened, her question coming out in a whisper. "You really thought that I would...that I'd...?"
"Yes, Twilight. Just the same as you earnestly believed that I would send you back to the place where you endured the worst experiences of your life, I too believed that you would turn on me in the aftermath of Discord's rampage. And why not? The last time I faced Discord alongside the pony closest to me..." Celestia shook her head. "In that moment I thought I had lost you. I was terrified, and furious--I had trusted you, and again I had been wrong to. Imagine my disbelief when I realized that your grievances had been targeted at my opinion of you."
"Really?" Twilight whispered, edging closer. "I...never knew you'd thought that. I just assumed you were angry because I was abusing my magic."
"I was, Twilight. But abusing your magic in a misguided attempt to preserve your friendship is very different from abusing your magic as a way to control peons to fight me with. You surprised me immensely that day. I didn't know--no, that is not true. I did not truly appreciate how you felt about me, and about your studies and your friends in Ponyville. I expected a bitter tirade about how I had used you all your life. The same conversation that we just had, but punctuated by dark magic and not with concern for my feelings. You must understand that the last time Equestria faced struggles like the ones it has undergone in the last few years, they were not so peaceful. Times were more desperate. Resources more scarce, technologies more limited. Darkness was everywhere, and ponies were crueler and more violent as a result. In my emotional state, I did not account for these factors."
Celestia wrapped a wing around Twilight. "The second time I doubted you, to my great discredit, was a similar affair. Cadence was my niece. You were practically family, about to become..." Celestia shut her eyes, forcing out the word. "...sisters. And there you were, the younger, consumed by envy and by a feeling of neglect and I--oh, Twilight. I saw another pony in you. Another time and place. And it was wrong of me. These times are so different from the ones that shaped the pony I have been for the past thousand years. I didn't see the context until it was far too late. For the second time in a row. And I did not even apologize. How could I? What could I say to undo what I did? No, all I could do was praise you for doing what I could not."
Celestia shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. "Perhaps I should rectify that." She felt a gentle wing wrap around her own side, primaries running along her back lightly. She smiled down at Twilight, opening her eyes to stare into Twilight's own. "I...have difficulty apologizing for my mistakes. I regret them. Oh, how I regret them. But..." Celestia gave a bittersweet smile. "I couldn't even muster up the courage to say I regretted banishing my own sister to you until a year after you learned about it. So I hope you will appreciate it when I say now that I am truly sorry, Twilight, for not trusting you. For assuming far worse of you than you deserve." Twilight's wing tightening against her side in a gentle squeeze was all she needed to know her apology was accepted. Twilight put her head under her chin, the two of them staying silent for a moment.
"But I did learn." Celestia brightened a bit, intertwining the primaries of her left wing with Twilight's own. "I trusted you to save the Crystal Empire. Not to destroy Sombra. To save the people he had enslaved. And I was vindicated. I trusted you to perfect Starswirl's spell, and to help turn Discord from his peculiar brand of darkness. And again I was vindicated. My mistake then became assuming that your ability to surpass all my expectations would extend to everyone who had surprised me. I had been impressed by Discord's turn, and had assumed better of him than I should have. So today I fell back into not trusting, into suspecting that the worst would come about from another unicorn rebellion.
"All of this is to say that I am trying to navigate a time in my life very different from my formative years as a ruler and an adult. It is hard for a pony as ancient as I am to learn new lessons as quickly as you do, and the nuances of the situation are sometimes lost on me. But that all being said. Never hesitate to tell me if I am being unfair to you. I am not experienced in showing or feeling my emotions. In the past being seen as emotional was a sign of weakness, and weakness was seen as an opportunity. Allowing myself to feel, forgiving my enemies...these are things I am still learning to do. I will hurt ponies--likely you chief among them--as I try to learn these lessons, and allow myself to open up to others once more. But I will never enjoy it. I will need you to tell me clearly what I am doing wrong, when I am doing it wrong." Celestia concluded. "Rather like you did today."
Relief washed over Twilight. Any remaining tension floated away in a gentle breeze. "I, hehe, I guess we both need to work on that. I expected you to take it worse."
"That I would disapprove?" Celestia tilted her head.
"No, I guess...I thought you'd think I was getting fed up with you. Or turning on you. Or something."
"Once upon a time I may have. You've shown that whatever the circumstances, you will always make an effort for me, even at my worst." Celestia gave a knowing smirk. "I've said as much last Summer Sun Celebration. Whatever mistakes I make, I will always try to rectify them for you. Just as I trust you to do for me." She closed her eyes and drank in the Ponyville breeze. "With that in mind. I think I have panicked my advisors enough already. You are right that I should take their feelings more into consideration. And yours. What all have you been planning for me lately?"
Twilight put a hoof to her chin, looking up at the clouds. "Well, next week we have the Gala, and after that we have the Royal Summit. I've been planning both, and I've been meaning to talk with the yaks before the diplomatic meeting..."
"I would be happy to--" Celestia chuckled, shaking her head lightly. "That is to say: would you mind if I joined you in planning them? I think the affair would go faster if we worked together, and there are some pointers on yak diplomacy that I could share that may be very pertinent."
"I would love to." Twilight tapped her horn to Celestia's, the two of them sharing currents of magic both specific to unicorns and universal to all creatures that knew the concept of 'love'. Two minds became one, sharing ideas, dreams, sensations. Visions of the future and memories of the past. At last the two broke apart, and then, with a light of her horn, Celestia was gone. Twilight smiled a happy, distant smile, hugging her wings to her side. Rarity and Fluttershy exited the spa, their own treatments having just concluded, and Twilight soon was lost in discussion with her friends.
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
Starlight Glimmer was lost in a discussion with her enemies. Every word she tried to get in edgewise was shut down by their sneering faces. Rebuked her with petty laughter for thinking she could hope to change Equestria, or their minds.
Giant visages of the two Princesses floated above her, the only objects in sight in an inky black void that threatened to swallow her up. A spotlight had been shone upon her, as if she was on some sort of sick trial, but the faces of Celestia and Luna betrayed the kangaroo nature of this particular court. Starlight again tried to speak. "I just wanted--"
"Oh, I knew what you wanted, my little pony." Celestia leered down at her, a twisted smile on her face. "You wanted revenge, petty and simple to see. To take my ponies out from under my hoof. So easy to unravel, to predict. It's why you'll never succeed. Too much anger to feign compassion. You have a thousand years to go if you want to beat me at that."
"No, I didn't want that. I don't want revenge!" She turned to Luna, pleading now. "I just wanted--"
"A friend? The friend who threw you away so long ago? Hah!" Luna gave a toxic smirk. She lowered herself to stare at Starlight with a pupil the size of Starlight's own body. "You already had a friend. But you took that friendship and drove it into the dust. And for what? A pathetic dream, chasing a pony who left you to rot. You trod on all I stand for and insulted me to my face. You do not deserve a friend."
"I--I'm sorry! I didn't know! I just wanted to see you fit in, and I was scared, and--I-I didn't know what to do! I...I'm sorry."
"You should be." The two faces spoke in unison, vanquished with a blast of blue magic.
"What?" Starlight glanced around, searching the inky darkness of the mindscape for the source of the beams of blue light. It was only when she thought to look up that she saw a familiar pony staring back at her, a thoughtful frown upon her lips. Flying above her was none other than Princess Luna.
"Starlight Glimmer." Luna's face held no scorn or anger. Only a strange, sad and distant emotion. One Starlight couldn't identify. "We need to talk."
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To the A/N: Yes, this didn't need to be a fight. Right away it was easy to tell Twilight's grievances were hurting more keenly than they should due to the fact she wasn't taking into account (or aware of) just how many more experiences are behind every thought and action of Celestia's in comparison to her own. A lot more makes up her every iota of output, and that is ... force, that is hard to divert. Twilight needed this explained to her, and Celestia needed to hear how it was making Twilight feel, so that she could try to foster better communication between them.
Also, worrying. Now that it Starlight's defeated I wonder if Luna isn't up to recruit Starlight rather than being recruited herself.
In the show Owlowiscious didn't actually die, as Twilight saved him through some quick teleporting. Is this something you forgot, or intentional for the story?
8728306
No, in this story he ran away after Twi saved him and she hasn't found him yet. Sorry, I had trouble wording that clearly, but that was the intent.
That was a long time coming and very satisfying to see. And I think it's interesting to see the contrast between Luna and Twilight in terms of how they approach Celestia. Everyone in this story is flawed, but it's clear to see who's trying to better themselves, and who's just trying to feel better about themselves.
Huh. So, Celestia goes between too much trust and not enough. Interesting.
8734215
At least, she feels she does, in part because of how hard it was to trust others in the time she grew up in and in part because of...well, Luna.
8728568
I worked so hard on trying to make them a healthy couple. It's really hard to write good healthy couples in fiction.
Reading this one made me really happy
8728302
Though keep in mind that despite overthinking like usual, Twilight's grievances were all very legitimate. Tia has hurt a lot of ponies by not thinking through consequences when she gets all emotionally compromised.
8734617
Aye. I saw, I was just pointing out that Twilight's pain was more acute from this issue than I think it might have otherwise been had she taken in extra considerations - considerations which might have led her to discuss this earlier with Celestia even with her previously stronger veil of worshipfulness. She was legitimately correct in her feelings, that I've no doubt about.
8734630
Yep! That is fair. I was angling for her getting wrapped up in the more disastrous possibilities of telling Tia, and thus delaying when she really shouldn't have.
8734617
It's a worthy goal to strive for, and I think you've managed it pretty well. I like Twilight/Celestia, but even the better stories tends to be written in a way that's...problematic.
8734818
It's very clear they love each other to an incredible degree. It's also clear--but unfortunately downplayed in many of the stories about them--that Twilight needs to take her own needs into account more and Celestia needs to acknowledge she isn't always the bigger pony (aside from in a literal sense). These are things a lot of authors don't tend to take into account, although, to the group's credit, a good number still do. Teatime in particular was really good about that.
8734854
I agree with you on Teatime; really like the way it's portrayed a developing relationship. I'll have to reread it one of these days.
On that note, I really like that this story gives them a realistic conflict with Luna. A lot of stories take for granted that she would approve of their relationship, and I like that she has her own opinions on the matter, even if they're kind of petty.
8734911
Luna can be extremely petty (RE: A Royal Problem, her parts in The Crystal Empire). I'm trying to show that that comes from a place of self-loathing (as seen in Do Ponies Dream Of Magical Sheep) and not a place of being pure evil. She's...she needs help more than anything. In S5 she was willing to get that from Twilight. In this story Twilight is part of the problem. She feels like she has nowhere and no-one to turn to. It's sad in its own way.
Dammit Luna what now