Opening Celestia's Heart

by Knight of Cerebus

Chapter 2

Rarity was in heaven above, and she felt endlessly guilty about it. The marvellous gold-coloured hooves of Silken Touch were pressing down against a set of muscles running along her withers that had been terribly mangled by a day spent eating altogether too much ice cream and feeling altogether far too sorry for herself. She sighed into the feather-light spa bed that her perfectly tended body had been laid across, allowing the delicate touch of the masseuse to firm up around the knotted muscle and unwind it with an expert carefulness. Tension seeped out of her and into the bench upon which she lay. Of course, how blissful the experience was gave a flight of excitement to her heart. She felt like she was in some forbidden affair, with poor Aloe and Lotus none the wiser to the fact that she was getting a treatment from none other than Princess Celestia's personal health manager. "Do you mind if I turn over?" She questioned, waiting politely for the reply instead of tensing for an affirmative. She knew from experience in her early days of body care that sudden movements were a fantastic way to make these procedures run horribly awry.

"But of course, my sweet." The masseuse kept working in silence, which Rarity took to mean that she was too professional to engage a client further unless they wished. Rarity gave a smile, making sure to twist her head so that the diligent worker could see, and then shifted her weight around so that she was facing the gigantic form of her current host, Regent of the Eternal Sun Princess Celestia. Rarity shifted a glance over to the face of her confidante and then back to the staff.

"You know, Darling, if I'd know that this was the award awaiting me for helping you with a personal problem I would have sent scrolls to you every day looking to advise you."

Celestia smiled a mischievous smile back at Rarity, enjoying the delicate sensation of the knots in her own muscles being undone. "If I'd known you would have stopped kissing my hooves after the first time I made good on our potential friendship I would have been more receptive to said offers." She winked a wink that Rarity noted seemed more like one fit for a Pinkie Pie than for a Twilight Sparkle, much less a Twilight Sparkle's noble professor. Her understanding of Twilight's enigmatic love and her newest friend was sadly lacking in depth, and she was ashamed to say most of her ideas on what Celestia was like came from Twilight's admittedly jaded descriptions. But she'd never gotten anywhere in life by running on hearsay. "Twilight has of course told me the story of how you two met before, and many more besides, but I've always been hopeful that I'd hear your perspective on the matter one day. After all, Twilight is perpetually wondering what you think of her, and, well, I must say that that curiosity does rub off on one after a while."

"Asking me to gossip so early into our developing bond, Rarity? My my. How forward." Celestia gave her best attempt at a scandalized gape, which, to a seasoned practitioner like Rarity, looked more like an uncomfortable yawn. That was a useful bit of information. Their nation's leader so despised the dirty side of social politics that she lacked a background in it. But if Celestia showed any signs of studying her back, she had hidden them quickly. Celestia's eyes glassed over and grew distant, a smile that was powerful as it was small creeping across her face.

"I consider my School for Gifted Unicorns one of my proudest achievements. It was a difficult sell when it was first constructed, some five hundred years past. Commoners learning from tutors once reserved for the nobility? A construction project in the midst of a border dispute with the griffons? I only had it built in the first place by spinning it as a potential military academy in case the border tensions grew sour."

Rarity balked, then leaned in closer. "Military academy?!"

"Of course. A pony could learn tactics and the art of war if they so desired. It is an academic subject after all. But, and this is what I did not explain to the nobility at quite so much length, they could also learn sciences, magic, architecture, engineering, math or a dozen other exploits. And learn they did. The nobles rarely questioned what happened at the 'commoner' school so long as it produced a few generals I could parade in front of them on significant milestones. By the time they had guessed my ruse, I had several dedicated lobbyists raised at the school that were capable of defending my decision. But that all is a different story for a different time." Rarity blinked. A million questions whizzed through her head. This pony had flipped her understanding of her nation's history on its head as a casual afterthought.

"Suffice it to say that I am extremely proud of my school and its students, and two of my favourite days of the year are tied to that school. Graduation and entry. But I rarely attend either straight away. Not only are there usually affairs of the day to be set in order, but my presence tends to bring about...nerves...in those who see me. I was on my way to console those who'd failed--and you must understand that I consider that activity at least as important as greeting the successes--when the Solar Observatory's roof was caved in by the head of a gigantic dragon. Imagine my panic! A dragon at my school, surrounded by foals scarcely old enough to cast magic safely!" She chuckled and gave Rarity a knowing smile. "Of course, in hindsight we both know that widdle Spikey Wikey," Twilight would pay for that act of high treason later, "was hardly a source of danger, but I could hardly have known that."

The masseuses announced their completion of their work, and the two ponies on the slab stretched and began to stand. "Thank you, Silken Touch, Sound Mind. My sincerest compliments as usual." Both bowed--and at this Rarity noticed Celestia's smile lost its dimples--and moved to leave. Celestia flicked her gaze away and turned back to Rarity. "I raced inside to face the invaders head on. If nothing else I could stall while the foals were evacuated and the military arrived. But I found no dragon vanguard waiting for me inside. No ambush led by discontents with draconic muscle on their side. Instead I found a filly squirming in pain and confusion, magic like I'd never seen coursing through her body." Celestia paused to look directly at Rarity. "I hope you'll forgive another tangent, but it is important to me that I give context to the story."

Rarity waved a hoof. "But of course, your Majesty. I do not know if you know, but a mutual friend of ours is quite talkative in the fields of science and history from time to time." Celestia gave a polite chuckle at this, extending her wing toward a tub big enough to comfortably fit two alicorns. Rarity supposed that made sense, though it was strange to think of Celestia and Luna sharing a bath together. She pulled open the door and settled herself inside.

"One of the strangest parts of being regent is that my first meetings with ponies are often one-sided affairs. I rarely know a face in my first conversation, but of course they know mine," She tilted her head, looking away from Rarity for a moment. "You yourself saw me as the height of Canterlot decorum before I'd so much as uttered a word your direction."

Rarity swooped in. "And I regret that decision very much in hindsight." Celestia smiled again, and eye contact was restored.

"But of course you can see what an obstacle that can be. I can know nothing about an individual who purports to know and love everything about me. It can be very isolating. In this case, however, I did know this pony. At least in the way she knew me, as a concept more than a person. She was that beaming little face that always ran to the front of the line during the Summer Sun Celebration." Celestia chuckled at the memory of the tiny purple filly looking up at the spell she would cast in wonder, then turned on a pair of massive taps and set some bombs into the bath. "You must imagine that the Summer Sun Celebration is not an easy time for me," Celestia began to lather shampoo into her mane. Rarity did not imagine the Sun Celebration was hard for Celestia, in fact, and the look of confusion on her face must have been quite telegraphed because Celestia looked up from dipping her mane in the water and mouthed 'Luna'.

And just like that the Princessly enchantment was broken. Celestia stuck her head under the tap, and the water washed away the magic, ethereal wisps of aurora. In their place the alabaster pony's hair turned to multicoloured strands of very equine hair that tangled clumped under the tap's continual flow. "But little Twilight's giant smile was always a highlight for me, even before I knew her as anything other than Giant Smile Filly. The thought of such a jubilant little unicorn in agony overrode my senses. I did the first thing that came to mind. I put a comforting hoof on her back to calm her down--and found myself becoming an equine lightning rod.

"In that moment I was filled with a kind of magic I had known only once in my life before. More powerful than Discord, Tirek or a thousand others I had faced. The magic of Harmony." Celestia quirked an eyebrow at Rarity. "But it was more than just that. Twilight Sparkle, at her most powerful, is not so much a unicorn, now alicorn, with access to the Elements of Harmony as she is a conduit for the Elements of Harmony in unicorn, or alicorn, form. Of course I only learned that as a thousand gigajoules of magic was coursing through my body and discharging through Canterlot Castle, but such was my reward for acting without thinking.

"When Twilight came to, she was scared, vulnerable and guilt-ridden. My first thought, once I had stopped the buzzing in my own ears and returned my sense of balance, was to setting the inhabitants of the room at ease. Especially Twilight, who seemed most frightened of all by the truly unfair amount of power that had been thrust upon her so abruptly. I had to find a solution that would set my worried teaching staff at ease without crushing the hopes of the sweet, fragile pony in front of me. So I offered to teach her. It was a leap, I admit, having just adopted a young alicorn--that would be Cadance, mind you--and having to find room in the palace for a dragon hatchling, but it seemed the only natural course. I would help control her power and teach her to harness it and she would in exchange use her power responsibly as best she could. I hoped she'd find the arrangement comforting."

Celestia chuckled and pulled her mane back, revealing eyes that dazzled with memory. "Imagine my surprise when she lit up into the most adorable little dance I had ever seen in my life, screaming her joy to the high heavens."

Rarity rolled her eyes, moving to grab some shampoo of her own. "So I have seen from time to time, yes."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "So you have seen?"

Rarity gave Celestia a flat look. "Twilight reenacts the dance whenever she recounts the story."

Celestia burst out laughing at this, unable to stop herself. A wide smile spread across her face, and, try though she might to resist its infectious exuberance, Rarity found herself giggling uncontrollably after long enough. "What a beautiful visual that is." Celestia concluded once she had enough air to say so.

"Better to see it for yourself, dear. But what was that you were saying about Spike and Cadance?" Rarity paused, letting the shampoo work its way to her roots and then following through with a suitably generous supply of conditioner. "Did you have a herd of little creatures running underfoot while you were training Twilight?" She tried to imagine young Spike, Twilight and Cadance all together in the same castle. She was uncertain of how she would manage such a situation without screaming.

"It was a difficult and wonderful chapter in my life. It may have been too much for me if not for the help of the ponies I had chosen to adopt into my life themselves." Celestia's eyes cast back to a nostalgic world now long since grown beyond. "Spike was near impossible for most of the palace staff. I cannot go into much of his raising without breaching his trust, given he is very sensitive about his origins, but I will say that we would have had to surrender him to the dragon lands and an unknown future if not for Twilight.

"She had time enough between her studies to spend time researching Spike's needs in parts of the archives even I had forgotten about. When it comes to her ability to organize, she was as diligent then as she is now."

"But much shorter." Rarity thought on the idea of a deadly serious tiny Twilight Sparkle leading palace staff through a labyrinth of ancient books, rattling off facts and assigning ponies to dragon-care duties with the severity of a military instructor as she went. She couldn't help the coo on her lips.

"Yes, she was very precocious in a number of ways. But I soon learned she was also very fragile. Her first day in a larger classroom she ended up hiding in the bathroom for hour-long blocks when the extra stimulus became too much. Ponies came to me with complaints that if the class got too loud then she would lose herself in the textbooks and refuse to interact with others even when prompted. Worst of all, a single negative word from anyone, most especially me, could ruin her entire day and cause her to spend hours at a time trying to undo whatever flaw she or the other party perceived."

"Oh dear. You mean to tell me that was worse when she was younger?" Rarity thought of all the times Twilight had taken a negative thought to heart and how well each instance had ended.

"At first, yes. This is where Cadance really shone. She was a teen by the time I had taken her in, and very insecure of herself. It would be a violation of her trust to explain my reasons for adopting her to you, but suffice it to say very few ponies were allowed to know a new alicorn had abruptly ascended in Cloudsdale, especially given some of the trauma of her ascension." At Rarity's look of concern and curiosity, Celestia gave a gentle shake of her head. "Trauma which I am not at liberty to disclose. Cadance rarely speaks of her ascension even with Shining Armor. I mention it was hard for her only because it may help you understand why asking her may be a poor idea itself. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Celestia. I do. So how did all this tie back to Twilight?" The picture was beginning to form, but it was not yet complete.

"Cadance found a kindred spirit in her. The memories of her ascension haunted Cadance in much the same way Twilight's thoughts tortured her. Nightmares, moments of horror that froze her in place, overwhelming and sudden fear at seeming simple things like bright flashes of light or loud noises. Twilight was also tormented by the mundane, and I think it was purifying for both of them to see that in another pony. But Twilight was much younger than Cadance. Cadance could teach her, comfort her, help to raise her, and in doing so, teach, comfort and raise herself. It's no secret that a good teacher learns and grows with their students. Twilight may well have saved Cadance from her demons in ways I don't think even Twilight herself is aware of."

Rarity thought with gratitude back to the simplicity of her own childhood. But there had been moments of insecurity, had there not? She cast her thoughts back to distant memories she'd long buried. "I think I understand." She lost herself in the thought a moment. Celestia sat back politely, beginning to rub soap along her hooves and torso while she listened. Rarity bit her lip, uncertainty creeping into her. Was Celestia trustworthy with this information? She certainly seemed careful with Spike and Cadance's secrets. Perhaps she would wait till the end of the stor--

"I think you do." Celestia gave a tiny nod. Simple, gentle, encouraging. "I am always overjoyed to hear of that kind of mutualism. It is the philosophy upon which our nation was founded, the kind I always try to aspire to in my rule and in my life." She waited for Rarity's reply. Rarity in turn began to wash the cleaning products out of her mane, using the distraction to consider. What she knew of Celestia thus far was a considerate, secretive pony who had great empathy for everyone she encountered. The fashionista decided to take the plunge, parting her hair to look Celestia in the eye.

"Sweetie Belle is a very musical pony," she began slowly, "and I have always loved sewing and fashion. These are not very practical career paths..." This was it. Now or never. "My parents were...are...well, not terribly well off. I know, it seems trite compared to whatever Cadance was going through," Celestia shook her head. No, it doesn't. Another nod. Keep going. Rarity smiled a little, "but it made it hard for us to find ourselves. Mother and father would both come home exhausted, jobs were hard to come by. Sweetie and I did much of the chores. We had little to encourage ourselves to grow. But we had each other."

"Twilight has never told me this story. I do not think she knows." Celestia searched Rarity's own eyes for confirmation.

"Very few ponies do." Rarity admitted. beginning to clean her barrel with a bar of her own soap. "It's not a happy memory." She brightened. "But it has a happy ending! Once I was old enough to sell the fabrics I started to make, money started coming in and my parents had the time and energy to properly encourage me. In turn I could buy better materials and the combination of more money, more practice and more support turned some humble presents for the neighbours into a flourishing business in the heart of the city."

The inevitable question of what happened to Sweetie Belle crossed Celestia's mind, but she put the thought aside. Rarity would tell her when she felt comfortable, and the finality of her story thus far told her she was not comfortable enough right now to divulge quite everything. "But enough on me, you were explaining the little trio you had at Canterlot."

"Yes, well, Cadance at this point also took an, ahem, shining to Twilight's older brother."

Rarity gave her a flat look. "Puns are unladylike."

"I am old enough to be your mother two hundred times over. I am allowed an old mare joke every now and again." There was that puckish wink again. Another thing for Rarity to consider down the line.

Rarity huffed. "Yes, yes, you were saying."

"She was very shy about her attraction at first. But Shining Armor loves his sister very much and was very impressed by Cadance's own protectiveness. I could tell they were in love even back then, though they did not admit it themselves at first. It can creep up on you, the knowledge you are in love with somepony." She chuckled. "To say nothing of how long and hard you slaved to make Twilight and I see what was plainly in front of us. Through nursing Twilight's own concerns, as well as her time sitting for Spike and her budding romance with Shining, Cadance began to recover. Become her own mare."

Rarity's snout wrinkled into the daintiest of tiny pouts. Celestia quirked an eyebrow at the unladylike display of vexation. "Is there something troubling you?"

"Some mares..." Rarity shook her head. "Do not mind me, darling." Rarity sighed. "Just thinking of my own future." Celestia waited for Rarity to go on. When she did not, Celestia decided to weigh the costs and benefits of letting Rarity stew compared to prodding the sore point she'd stumbled upon.

"You are a young and spry mare, Rarity." She meant the compliment in earnest, even if it did sting of some manipulation. "You have an entire life waiting ahead of you, filled with wonderful friends and charted by a meteoric career. Why would your own future earn such a look of distaste?"

Rarity sighed again. "I am merely being petty and silly. We should just drop it." She continued to sulk an inelegant sulk. "Cadance's life came with many hardships mine did not. I do not need envy her." Rarity's ear twitched in the ensuing silence. Celestia opened her mouth to ask if Rarity wished to speak of a different topic, but Rarity's voice cut past her own. "Fine! Fine! You have talked me into it!"

Celestia said nothing. Something deep and instinctual within her told her that if she so much as uttered a word the ticking explosive that had formerly been known as Rarity might detonate then and there.

"I just think it's so unreasonable that a mare makes herself available in all the possible ways, flags down stallions left and right and still, still is not able to find a proper mate in this world! I am aware that life is seldom fair, but it seems more and more like some terrible joke is being played upon me and that I am the only one not in on the punchline. I mean, really, is it so much to ask that one singular stallion actually see something in little old me?" Rarity huffed, crossing her hooves. A gentle wing lightly touched her shoulder.

"Is there something you wish to talk about, Rarity?"

The little unicorn sagged. "Life is not fair. That is all."

"An accurate assessment that most adults must come to terms with at any point in their lives. But allow me to give you a counterpoint to your perception." Rarity looked over at her reluctantly, trying to force herself away from her own pity-party. "Do you think most ponies find true love on their first try?"

"Well, I mean, a proper lady should be able to--"

"That is not what I asked." Celestia's smile was gentle and supportive, but also firmly shut out that line of thought.

"Well, alright, but I've tried so many times and so little has come of any of it! It's not for a lack of trying that I find myself set far down the path to spinsterhood! No, it is destiny, I tell you!"

"Rarity..."

"Cruel, heartless destiny! But I will not let it effect me!"

"Rarity."

"I will be stoic, a proper martyr in the face of overpowering loneliness. Bravely will I sew dresses for the happy couples that surround my life." Rarity's lips wavered in a crooked smile. The waiting explosion continued to build.

Celestia returned to listening. There was clearly more to this Vesuvian display of emotion that demanded itself be heard.

"Though my own heart silently breaks, happily will I ready myself to provide for the endless tied of dances, of marriages...and anniversaries...of...of baby showers..." The dam broke, and Rarity flopped herself into Celestia, who caught her in simultaneous surprise and confusion. "Oh, Princess!" Rarity wailed, a hoof to her head and, to Celestia's surprise, genuine tears forming within her eyes. "I do not want to die a-lo-o-o-o-one!"

Celestia held Rarity while she wept, the former trying her best to keep her surprise at the outburst from compromising her ability to help the latter. When the inelegant blubbering of the dainty fashionista had reduced itself to the occasional sniffle, Celestia waited with patience.

"And who have been the ruffians who have broken darling Rarity's heart?" Celestia gave Rarity a squeeze for support and then set her back down, lowering herself to look the other mare directly in the eye.

Rarity sighed. "There was that Blueblood rapscallion," Celestia grimaced at this. Ah, "and then there was Trenderhoof and then most recently I was shot down by Hoity Toity! In all cases I never even had a chance to prove myself unworthy! Always turned away at the gates!"

"I remember this journal entry. Tell me, after learning more about Trenderhoof and Blueblood, did you especially feel you had lost anything of great value in failing to enter a relationship with them?"

Another sigh. "No, but that isn't the problem."

"Oh, but I think it is." Celestia was gentle, but firm. Rarity began to suspect there was a lesson about to be sprung upon her at the heart of all this. "What about Hoity Toity? Did you think he would be a good mate, or was there another reason for you selecting him?"

"I-I mean, it was more out of a need to find somepony on Hearts and Hooves day..." Rarity bit her lip. She began to consider what Celestia was asking of her. "And you are saying that each time I was looking for something in my life instead of somepony."

Celestia gave a little nod. Rarity took little consolation. "B-but I'm not shallow!" She protested by weakly flailing a hoof, which splashed water from the tub with an inelegant 'ploop'.

Celestia continued to look directly into Rarity's eyes. Years of experience dealing with deflated little ponies helped buoy her while they spoke. "I never said you were. The story you told me earlier provides strong context to your actions. Your desire to seek out an influential stallion is admirable from the perspective of a career mare who had to fight against waves of resistance from the upper class to get where she is today. You want a partner who will see the beauty in your dreams and protect you from the barbs of the nobility. That is not a petty desire, though you can see why it has not landed you any interested stallions."

Rarity sank a little deeper into the water. "Well...yessss, I suppose I can see why being used to further somepony else's career might be unappealing. But it's not like I only wanted to use them!"

"No, dear. And I know this. But they could not possibly know as much having only met you. You and I both know better than most how important first impressions are."

"And the first impression I've been giving is of a desperate mare trying to prop herself up. Oh, Celestia, no wonder it's been disaster after disaster for me! Thank you! Thank you so much for all your help!" Rarity practically bounced, her previous sagging left behind.

"I am afraid there is something else I must add." Celestia breached this portion of the conversation slowly.

"Yes? What?" Rarity stopped her exuberant vibrating, pursing her lips and inspecting Celestia's face for possible clues.

"Your life dream, based upon what your story tells me and what your goals in dating have been, is to rise in prestige to the heights of nobility, is it not? To be admired for your artist's work and your sophisticated social grace?"

"Well, yes, and...?"

"Your current romantic efforts have been self-defeating, I am sorry to say. What you are trying to prove to the world is that you can rise to the heights of greatness on your own. With your birth circumstances working against you like they are, your goal is to show anypony can be truly noble no matter who they are or where they come from. But there are many mares who entered the nobility through romance. Marriage is one of the most common ways for the lower classes to enter into houses, and it is a tale as old as time. Do you see how that would erode your ambitions, instead of bolstering them?"

Rarity's eyes, which had been growing wider and wider with horror as each new piece of information fell into place, at last closed in shame. "You are right, of course. I did not think through my greater implications, and as a mare of high society, I should be ashamed of my lack of forethought."

"Hardly. You have caught me making far worse romantic missteps than your own, and most ponies look back on their earliest attempts at romance with at least some degree of remorse or shame. As I said before, you are a young mare with her entire life ahead of her. You can afford to make these mistakes in the knowledge there will be time to correct them."

Rarity put a hoof to her chin. "But where would I even begin to look? Ponyville? Manehattan?"

Celestia chuckled at that. "I can't tell you how to live your life, Rarity. But I can give you some time to think. Would you like to hear the rest of my story while you contemplate?"

Rarity's brow furrowed. "Story? What do you--goodness, your story! I'm sorry I interrupted! Please, by all means, continue."

Celestia's chuckle morphed into a full laugh, soft and carefree as a gentle summer breeze. "I am glad that you did stop me. This old mare can talk for hours if she's left unchecked, and it has been far too long since I've been able to help a new friend. Besides, the discussion reminded me of past talks with Twilight, and her growth is the next chapter in my tale.

"Twilight was largely removed from the classroom environment when it became clear she did not do well in a standard academic setting, and thrived from then on in what was more akin to a homeschooling overseen by her various professors and presided over by myself. She was allowed a room in the astronomy tower where she could study quietly away from her peers, and this she swiftly converted into a small library. She learned spells at an incredible pace and grew in confidence, growing herself in more ways than one. She began to show the loving and compassionate side of her personality to more and more ponies, even forming tentative bonds with ponies like Moondancer that she was beginning to work up the nerve to act upon." Celestia's nostalgic smile was replaced with a frown.

"But Cadance and Shining both became more distant to her in this time. They were busy with new lives that did not intersect with her own, and beginning to develop a relationship in secret that she quite obviously could not share in. She lost them to their careers, and became bitter and cold in the aftermath, something you may have noticed when you first met her. It was hard for her, her early independence. Spike decided to stay with her rather than leave her to rot in her tower, and while she was not terrible to him, she did not treat him with the respect he deserved. Something had to be done."

"I think I know the rest of this story, yes." Rarity waved a hoof. "But what of you? You talked at length about how these ponies helped each other, but that was not my question."

Celestia gave a helpless laugh. "Guilty as charged. You know by now that I rarely talk at length about myself." She thought back to Rarity's earlier confession of her own childhood days, and gave a sheepish smile, a silent plea for acceptance that Rarity took with a graceful bob of her curls. "They were hard days for myself also. I knew of a terrible looming future that my little protegees did not. I was terribly worried for them and their safety, and terribly proud of their achievements. Everything I did had to be enough prepare for the chance that Nightmare Moon..." She whispered the next bit to herself. "That my own sister would..." She returned to her previous volume. "They were powerful in magic beyond words. Threats to the Nightmare's power. She might have targeted them, as I knew she would inevitably target me. And I also feared losing them to their own demons, as I had lost Luna to hers.

"I took a student before Twilight, as you've by now become familiar with. She was powerful and wise and precocious as Twilight or Cadance, but also vain and entitled and aggressive in ways they were not. I was foolish to isolate her. I made her training intensive in hopes of better equipping her to fight the Nightmare, swelling her ego and making her impatient to surpass me and be recognized for her talent. I could not get her to stop and see the need to reach out and join others, forgetting, fool that I was, that the magic of Harmony operated on the bonds forged with other ponies and not on the strength of the user's magic. So there was always the fear that one of them might fall into the same traps as she had. I wonder sometimes if adding her to my peculiar little school of powerful oddballs might have...but there is no point thinking on the past.

"Though they were days of looming danger and the shadow of past mistakes, they were also days of joy that I shall always treasure. Cadance was a pony of infectious joy and enthusiasm, always with a positive spin on life that I couldn't help but take in stride myself. It made me feel that if she could move past her trauma and see the beauty and wonder in life at such an early age, perhaps some day I might be able to forget my own darker moments. She also was very observant in a time when nobody at the palace was very aware of my own growing anxiety. I daresay I taught her the subleties of the different Princessly masks a little too well, as she became very good at smoothing palace life and giving me some time to unwind that I desperately needed. For the first time in four hundred years I was able to take days off! It was a small miracle."

Rarity would store that particularly heartbreaking line of thought away for later. Celestia did not need pity right now. She smoothed her face toward receptiveness, hoping Celestia had not noticed the wrinkle.

"Spike, once he was old enough to do more than belch fire and giggle, was a needed grounding presence among several extremely dysfunctional ponies. He developed a sharp wit from Twilight and a sense of togetherness from Cadance and combined these together to grow into a child filled with amusing observations and a keen understanding of the people around him. Some of the most poignant observations into my own state of being come from Spike. To say nothing of his eagerness to help others and how touching it was to see him racing about the palace trying to please Twilight in some way or other.

"And lastly Twilight..." Celestia drifted off, chewing the inside of her cheek. "Where to begin? Twilight was...well, most of all a source of faith for me. That little filly believed in me absolutely no matter what the circumstances, and this was very welcome." Seeing the way Rarity had tilted her head to listen more closely, Celestia forced herself to elaborate, sucking in air in the hopes it might quell the rising burning sensation building in her chest. "It is...hard. To believe in oneself when your largest mistake begins to overwhelm your entire future. It is hard to believe in oneself when that mistake looms overhead, threatens to take your dearest loved ones from you. When it already has. It is hard to..." Celestia trailed off, looking away and hiding her face behind the wet strands of her mane. "...I'm sorry, I'd rather not explain that further. I hope you understand."

Celestia turned away fully, her back to Rarity and her head bowing over the side of the tub. She tried to purge the memories from their place at the front of her mind. There can only be one Princess in Equestria. Something shook her from her thoughts. A little tap against her shoulder. Rarity, bless her, had her little hoof placed firmly upon Celestia, a gentle smile on her face. Celestia reacted to the touch by placing a hoof over top of Rarity's own and looking back to smile at her. She tried to begin again. "Twilight rekindled my love for ponies whenever I spoke with her, too. She was always trying to help others, always trying to make the world a better place, even though she was terrified of so many aspects of other ponies and the world around her. She was strong in ways I could hardly imagine, and seeing that in turn gave me strength.

"Twilight was also a second chance of sorts. Always patient with me, always understanding, or trying her best to. Always seeing my good intentions for what they were. After so many had turned...well...on me, I..." She shook her head, lips failing to find purchase on words. "I'm sorry, Rarity. Much of what I love about Twilight is bound up in emotions I do not often express."

"I meant it when I said you did not have to explain more than what made you comfortable." Rarity said this with a gentle firmness. "We can speak of Twilight another time." She decided to shift topics. "Do you think that was the key to these days being, as you say, filled with joy, then? That Cadance and Twilight and Spikey formed this, this network?"

"Of course. Networks are how ponies form society itself. Think of your career. Think back to all the ponies that helped you on the way. Hoity Toity. Photo Finish. Fancypants. All of them have nothing but good to say about you, and I am sure you have much good to say about them. They all had their own starts to their careers, all needed ponies to help them with that precious, delicate first start." She considered what she had said for a moment, then chuckled and pulled the plug of the bath tub. "Maybe Twilight is more right than she knew."

"About what?" Rarity began to pull towels from their shelves beside the bathtub, levitating several to Celestia.

"That is between me and her, I am afraid. But I will let you in at a later time, I assure you. Until then," she glanced at the clock, for it was getting late, "consider this: if you wish to form a counterculture of acceptance and diversity in Canterlot that you once described to me, you will need others with which to build it. Reach out. Form bonds. They are what built this nation, and they are what keep it strong." Celestia chuckled to herself and shook her head. "If only I had remembered that."

Rarity soaked this much all in, then glanced at the clock herself. "Oh dear. It appears to be getting late. Well, thank you for this very much, darling. I missed our conversations so."

"And I as well. Oh, and before I forget, I was wondering...I would like to arrange a visit to Granny Smith's at some point. Would you mind discussing it with Applejack?"

"Of course not, dear. I'll be sure to let her know right away." The two ponies removed their towels and Celestia returned her regalia. "May I be so inclined as to ask if we might...do this again some time?"

Celestia chuckled a gentle chuckle. "You might be. I would love to return to this at some point. Especially if you," She jabbed a wingtip at Rarity's nose with a puckish smile, "do some of the talking next time. Though I confess I find myself interested in rumors that you are opening a dress shop in Canterlot soon. I may have to find time in my schedule to stop by, present company permitting."

At this information, Rarity began to prance in place and made a shrieking noise rather like the mating call of an exotic bird. Celestia could only laugh at this. "Take care, Rarity."

"Oh, I will, your majesty! I will very much, thank you! Thank you!" She began to bounce towards the door in a way that made Celestia think back to a little purple pony chanting the word 'yes' over and over, babbling to herself about endorsements and advertisement and the generosity of others. Celestia smiled a quiet and ancient smile.

The door closed behind the bouncing unicorn, and Celestia found herself lost in both the memories of her time raising that strangest circle of friends and in thoughts to the future of the new friendship she was beginning to truly cultivate.

Her reminiscence was interrupted by a humming noise, and the glowing of a tiny, hopeful glimmer of teal light on her regalia. She looked down at her neck in surprise, only to see a tiny opal of pale blue had miraculously inset itself into her peytral. The stone was but a pinprick, perhaps even barely formed, but there nonetheless. She removed her slipper and touched a careful hoof to it. At once she was bombarded with memories and magic. Adopting Cadance. Giving Twilight her tower. Spike's first blanket. The first scholarships at her school. Returning Luna to her throne. She pulled away in surprise, uncertain of the nature of this foreign stone. But the aura of power had been unmistakable. Twilight was right. Tiny, fragile as it was, the stone was unmistakable. With a delicate smile, she touched her hoof to it again. An Element of Generosity.

Comments

[Asheram]

Ah. There we go. Was a bit confused in how this chapter somehow appeared before the first.
Anyhow. A lovely chapter.
And my... Things are getting Interesting here.

[Knight of Cerebus]

8661418

No, the chapter order thing was not intentional. I just thought the chapters would arrange themselves according to the order that you published them in like a sane system of publication would.

8661383

Yes indeed, Twilight did mean things rather literally, being a rather literal mare. As for what happened to Cadance within the context of this story's continuity, since it probably won't come up again in-story, the magical force of her ascension killed her parents when they tried to help her, hence why she was adopted and her royal status was hushed by Canterlot Palace. This might raise a few questions given Twilight's own apotheosis, but the difference can be explained in that Twilight's was managed by Celestia while Cadance's occurred when she accidentally stumbled upon the site of the Crystal Empire as a filly on a ski vacation. I leave the spoiler there in case you or others would rather imagine how it happened yourselves, since I'm happy to leave blanks for others to fill in.

[Night Spinner]

8661450
Interesting version of events for Cadance, compared to her normal origins at least. Is there a reason you went so dark with it?

[Knight of Cerebus]

8662046
Two reasons, one much more important to the story than the other.

The first reason is logistics. It seems logical to me given Cadance's status as Celestia's adoptive niece that her childhood was not likely to have been a happy one, and her fixation on Twilight specifically to the point of seeing her as a little sister seems odd to me without the context of something for them to have bonded strongly over. Panic attacks seem obvious since Cadance was the one who taught Twilight how to deal with her panic attacks to begin with. So I combined the two ideas: Cadance bonds so closely with Twilight and knows how to handle her panic attacks so well because she has panic attacks of her own relating to a traumatic childhood that required Celestia to adopt her.

The second reason is much more shallow: I find Cadance really boring and misery makes characters more interesting to me.

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

8662106
That's brilliant. I also believe Cadence was traumatized as a filly, witnessing the slaughter of her family at Sombra's hoof.

[Dragonwaz]

8662106
Isn't her cannon background defeating some evil love stealing witch that killed her parents or something?

[Knight of Cerebus]

8668556
Yeah something like that. I did base my background for her very loosely on the one you mentioned from Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell.
8667989
Also could work in this story's context. Like I said, pick your own traumatic backstory and run with it! I left it vague on purpose!

[SoulOfAsh]

Of course I only learned that as a thousand picojoules of magic was coursing through my body and discharging through Canterlot Castle, but such was my reward for acting without thinking.

As far as I know, "pico-" before a unit of measurement means 10^-12. A thousand picojoules(meaning 1 nanojoule) is... really not a lot. That's about how much energy is released by an explosion of... 10^-16 grams of TNT. It's likely that an ant or any other similar small insect won't feel it, no matter the type of energy measured that way.

[Knight of Cerebus]

8794214
Whoops! That's entirely correct. That's what I get for trying to sound smarter than I actually am.

Changing it to petajoules now.

EDIT: And on further review a thousand gigajoules was more the power level I was looking for. Should have done my research before trying to involve physics.

[SoulOfAsh]

8794575
Meh, everyone makes mistakes with units of measurement sometimes. It has nothing to do with how smart one is ;p

And yes, a terajoule of energy seems like a suitably large amount to me without being too high. It can be compared to the amount of electrical energy consumed by our entire civilization in a second or so IIRC.

[Purple-Smart Heart]

bombs

While this misuse of a word is hilarious, since homophones are a bitch, the word you actually want here is "balm."

[Xanni]

8992111
No, I'm pretty sure "bombs" is correct as written, but it would certainly have been clearer with the adjective:
https://www.etsy.com/au/market/bath_bombs

[Commander Darklight]

8794575
why not 1.21 gigawatts