Not bad. I look forward to more.

6081036 Well, I guess I have no choice but to see this through to the end now. Just wish I knew if the majority of the downvotes were due to content, or because of the quality of the fic.

6081216 I believe it's due to the concept. Many of the people on the site still can't get over this like they did with rape and foalcon. Hell they still down vote that too forgetting it's fiction.

6081286 I hope that's the case, really I do.

6081288

An advice man. If the whole plot is good, try again independently of the downvotes. Try to make more two or one chapter to see where ends.

I loved it, don't really see why peoplo are disliking it, its honestly well written.

Great fic so far, SPB! I'll definetly be following this one!

6082491 Well, the likes seem to be slowly overtaking the dislikes, so hopefully that's a good sign.

I just put this in my RL list. I'll look over it tomorrow sometime and give my full review at the moment.

OK, right off the bat, there seemed to be a bit of some grammar errors. Personally, the comma doesn't seem to fit there at all.
Also, Scootaloo's mom should've been more worried right from the start, not just keep waiting and waiting.

Those are the main two I found at the moment.

I wanted to say this when it got posted. But having read it again, I honestly wish you'd a tried a little harder to give it a more appropriate title. It just clashes a lot with Matt's story and this is not how mothers start out, nor how they should treat their kids. So that's a big deceptive point there with the title. She already knows how to be a mother. She's doing a lot of that.

Maybe "If The Diaper Fits" or "Act The Foal, Become The Foal" or something that better suits Scootaloo's predicaments.

Aside from that, dialogue was just not really hitting any high marks. Just a bit flat. Might want to remove the telly parts and just stick to the showing when she's talking to Scootaloo. Have her take a calming breath before talking or something. Just a minor scene with an example of more words than the reader needs to interpret a scene.

Rule of thumb is to focus on just what the reader needs to know. This just couldn't keep my attention the way Sunset-Chan's stories can, and I don't even like diaper stories. But even so, this chapter doesn't even get her into that situation until the end of it. A punishment for being so foalish. Could use work, but the setup chapter is done so you can fix it for newer readers or just try to make the next chapter better than the first.

Liked ! Just a few more likes and we'll be over the dislikes! Really great first chapter, can't wait for another great story from you!
6083556

6088212 I took your advice and changed the title. But in regards to why the first chapter is how it is, I didn't want to just jump right into the diapers thing. I wanted to try and focus on Scootaloo's connection with Dizzy Twister, the good and the bad.

No offense, but you say you don't like diaper stories, and yet you're saying I should've jumped right into the diapers without any sort of build up? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

The dialogue is really, really, really telling. You don't let the reader infer very much.

"But mom, it's not my fault," Scootaloo complained. "Diamond Tiara wouldn't stop making fun of me because I can't fly yet."

You're using Mom as a name it should be capitalized.

"Diamond Tiara wouldn't stop making fun of me because I can't fly yet."

That part doesn't really seem necessary. It would be easily inferred that's why Diamond, was mocking Scoot.

"Okay, mom,"

Again you are using Mom in place of a name. Should be capitalized.

After returning home, Dizzy Twister didn't see Scootaloo again for several hours. Even after school let out, Scootaloo didn't come home. Dizzy Twister started to get a little bit worried. Scootaloo knew her way home, it wasn't like her to get lost.

Dizzy Twister waited and waited. She washed and dried some dishes, dusted and mopped, folded some towels, and still Scootaloo did not show. All the while, Dizzy Twister grew more and more worried. What if something bad had happened to Scootaloo?

Unnecessary details are unnecessary. You probably should have done a time skip to where Dizzy found Scootaloo at Sweet Apple Acres.

Frankly A LOT of the dialogue is really awkward. You tell too much and show too little.

EDIT: I'm noticing a trend in your stories SPB. If anyone provides valid criticism they get downvoted. Don't downvote valid criticism please.

6097026 Well, would you be interested in being my editior?

6099440 While I am flattered by the offer, I don't know... Maybe. I can't give you a definitive answer at this point. I've got my own projects work on ya know?

6102069 Well, do you know of anyone that you could recommend to be my editor?

You posted this under the "review my story section" of the Helping Hooves group. And while I know I said I'd do my best to clean out that folder as much as possible, I'll have you know I have no intention of reading this story, let alone reviewing it. Especially with those warnings placed all over this story...

So I suggest either two things.
1) wait for someone to review it for you later on
Or
2) take it out of the review my story section of the group. If you want it to be reviewed, and you want it reviewed immediately, I'll do it, but I will show this thing zero to no mercy...

I'm also aware of the fact that you have more followers than I and moderately more success. I congratulate you on that, but that won't change my opinion of this story either way. I'm not saying all of this as a threat, but rather a warning. If you truly want it to be reviewed, Private Message me and let me know.

"That's not what Miss Cheerilee told me," Dizzy Twister said, shaking her head "She told me that several students saw you lunge at Diamond Tiara, and you kept going even after she begged you to stop."

That behavior is without honor. For shame, Scootaloo. You never continue the assault once the aggressor is on the ground.

scootaloo is my favorite pony, but you should've told you're mom scoots