• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

SuperPinkBrony12


I'm a brony and a Pinkie Pie fan but I like all of the mane six, as well as Spike. I hope to provide some entertaining and interesting fanfics for the Brony community.

Comments ( 48 )

Not bad. I look forward to more. :scootangel:

6081036 Well, I guess I have no choice but to see this through to the end now. Just wish I knew if the majority of the downvotes were due to content, or because of the quality of the fic. :ajsleepy:

6081216 I believe it's due to the concept. Many of the people on the site still can't get over this like they did with rape and foalcon. Hell they still down vote that too forgetting it's fiction.

6081286 I hope that's the case, really I do. :ajsleepy:

6081288

An advice man. If the whole plot is good, try again independently of the downvotes. Try to make more two or one chapter to see where ends.

I loved it, don't really see why peoplo are disliking it, its honestly well written.

Great fic so far, SPB! I'll definetly be following this one!:pinkiehappy:

6082491 Well, the likes seem to be slowly overtaking the dislikes, so hopefully that's a good sign.

I just put this in my RL list. I'll look over it tomorrow sometime and give my full review at the moment.

OK, right off the bat, there seemed to be a bit of some grammar errors. Personally, the comma doesn't seem to fit there at all.
Also, Scootaloo's mom should've been more worried right from the start, not just keep waiting and waiting.

Those are the main two I found at the moment.

I wanted to say this when it got posted. But having read it again, I honestly wish you'd a tried a little harder to give it a more appropriate title. It just clashes a lot with Matt's story and this is not how mothers start out, nor how they should treat their kids. So that's a big deceptive point there with the title. She already knows how to be a mother. She's doing a lot of that.

Maybe "If The Diaper Fits" or "Act The Foal, Become The Foal" or something that better suits Scootaloo's predicaments.

Aside from that, dialogue was just not really hitting any high marks. Just a bit flat. Might want to remove the telly parts and just stick to the showing when she's talking to Scootaloo. Have her take a calming breath before talking or something. Just a minor scene with an example of more words than the reader needs to interpret a scene.

Rule of thumb is to focus on just what the reader needs to know. This just couldn't keep my attention the way Sunset-Chan's stories can, and I don't even like diaper stories. But even so, this chapter doesn't even get her into that situation until the end of it. A punishment for being so foalish. Could use work, but the setup chapter is done so you can fix it for newer readers or just try to make the next chapter better than the first.

Liked ! Just a few more likes and we'll be over the dislikes! Really great first chapter, can't wait for another great story from you!
6083556

6088212 I took your advice and changed the title. But in regards to why the first chapter is how it is, I didn't want to just jump right into the diapers thing. I wanted to try and focus on Scootaloo's connection with Dizzy Twister, the good and the bad.

No offense, but you say you don't like diaper stories, and yet you're saying I should've jumped right into the diapers without any sort of build up? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

The dialogue is really, really, really telling. You don't let the reader infer very much.

"But mom, it's not my fault," Scootaloo complained. "Diamond Tiara wouldn't stop making fun of me because I can't fly yet."

You're using Mom as a name it should be capitalized.

"Diamond Tiara wouldn't stop making fun of me because I can't fly yet."

That part doesn't really seem necessary. It would be easily inferred that's why Diamond, was mocking Scoot.

"Okay, mom,"

Again you are using Mom in place of a name. Should be capitalized.

After returning home, Dizzy Twister didn't see Scootaloo again for several hours. Even after school let out, Scootaloo didn't come home. Dizzy Twister started to get a little bit worried. Scootaloo knew her way home, it wasn't like her to get lost.

Dizzy Twister waited and waited. She washed and dried some dishes, dusted and mopped, folded some towels, and still Scootaloo did not show. All the while, Dizzy Twister grew more and more worried. What if something bad had happened to Scootaloo?

Unnecessary details are unnecessary. You probably should have done a time skip to where Dizzy found Scootaloo at Sweet Apple Acres.

Frankly A LOT of the dialogue is really awkward. You tell too much and show too little.

EDIT: I'm noticing a trend in your stories SPB. If anyone provides valid criticism they get downvoted. Don't downvote valid criticism please.

6097026 Well, would you be interested in being my editior?

6099440 While I am flattered by the offer, I don't know... Maybe. I can't give you a definitive answer at this point. I've got my own projects work on ya know?

6102069 Well, do you know of anyone that you could recommend to be my editor?

I would love to see a bonus chapter in which Dizzy Twister subtly begins to treat Scootaloo like a newborn baby because she finds it adorable and it reminds her of how Scootaloo was easier to handle as a foal.

6133163 Well, as much as I would like to do that. I think that sort of idea would be better off as a sequel to this story, rather than a bonus chapter for this fic.

it good there no rule on type what food she can eat.

Not bad, I'm still thinking of ideas for a bonus for you to do, but only one came to mind, one were DT sees Scoots in a diaper ( out side)makes fun of her and Dizzy then punishes her for a day. Course she gets Rich's permission to do so.

6165849 Well, I already had Featherweight catch Scootaloo in a diaper. I don't know how I feel about having another one of Scootaloo's classmates catching her in one.

6166858 though I am interested in what form of punishment her friends were getting. Also I'll either comment on here or send pm if I get better bonus ideas.

6167457 Haven't really thought of the punishment AB and SB got. I guess they just got grounded for a couple of weeks.

6165849 I made a bonus chapter involving a playdate with Featherweight, you can find it here. I won't publish it in the actual fic itself, since ageplay isn't the focus of this fic.

6264440 cool I'll get to it.

Comment posted by SuperPinkBrony12 deleted Sep 12th, 2015

6097026 And fyi, I did not downvote any of the meaningful criticism. I actually upvoted the one currently has two upvotes. Implying that I do is likely what caused your comment to get a downvote.

Why did Dizzy Twister want Scootaloo and Featherweight to turn their heads or go into another room when they weren't in their diapers? They already don't wear cloths, so I'm pretty sure they know what they each look like naked.

6467120 Maybe, but who knows for sure? And just because they've seen each other naked, doesn't necessarily mean they know what parts of them are different down there.

Man... I Simply Love it! :heart: Its so Heartwarming and so happy combinated with diaper! :raritystarry:

6531222 I'm glad you enjoyed it. This really helped get me back into the mojo when writing padded pony content.

6532736 Well, my previous padded pony works this year had turned out poorly, and I had to delete them. They left me wondering if I was truly cut out for writing them.

The funny thing is that I was eating oatmeal right before reading this story. :rainbowlaugh:

Hmm.... This gave me my very first adventure story were Scootaloo and Tiara search for her father, I got it set nicely in my mind.


But the chapter was good.

You posted this under the "review my story section" of the Helping Hooves group. And while I know I said I'd do my best to clean out that folder as much as possible, I'll have you know I have no intention of reading this story, let alone reviewing it. Especially with those warnings placed all over this story...

So I suggest either two things.
1) wait for someone to review it for you later on
Or
2) take it out of the review my story section of the group. If you want it to be reviewed, and you want it reviewed immediately, I'll do it, but I will show this thing zero to no mercy...

I'm also aware of the fact that you have more followers than I and moderately more success. I congratulate you on that, but that won't change my opinion of this story either way. I'm not saying all of this as a threat, but rather a warning. If you truly want it to be reviewed, Private Message me and let me know.

8033814 I can wait for someone else to review this, I'd rather you not review something you're not interested in or willing to at least be partial to. Review what you want to review.

8034226
Understood. Best of luck to you then. And sorry if my last comment was a bit aggressive. That night was not a good one for me... :twilightblush:

I was just angry at myself and accidentally went spreading my anger around...

"That's not what Miss Cheerilee told me," Dizzy Twister said, shaking her head "She told me that several students saw you lunge at Diamond Tiara, and you kept going even after she begged you to stop."

That behavior is without honor. For shame, Scootaloo. You never continue the assault once the aggressor is on the ground.

cute and beautifully done, even if there are some typos

Comment posted by miroslav55 deleted May 12th, 2021

10788957
Will there be a continuation?


I really like your storytelling.
I so want there to be a continuation

scootaloo is my favorite pony, but you should've told you're mom scoots

such an adorable story, I really like scootaloo, plus I liked the story keep up the good work :)

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