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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Typo?
Oh God, Neon is such a bitch.
chuitropquebecois.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/0QxZVe4.gif
a chapter that is showing bounds of love.
now will crystal be accepted in to the new herd?
and will her foal be a crystal pony?
Harts Fire
Everypony getting laid!
6371289
She's not a bunch, really. Just a deadpan snarker. I actually really like her mannerisms, for some reason. I guess that without the old evil tyranny thing, her sass is just kinda adorable.
6371289 Darn sneaky typos.
Is it possible you can put a name before you start the sentence so I know who is talking? It's really hard trying to find the person I'm reading till another character gives it away.
6371999 Example?
For example, on chapter 104 at the beginning of the first two paragraphs I didn't know who was talking. Then when the 3rd paragraph came by, I knew you were talking about Sandra because you mentioned Karen.
Starting on the next story it took me awhile to figure out that you were talking about Neon after the first paragraph.
All I'm saying is put a name above the first paragraph so we know who its talking for that story.
Wonder if Crystal is going to tell Will&Cindy about Karens dilemma...
I really want Sandra to impregnate Neon with Karen.
Neon has been hurting about losing Karen ever since the takeover, and not just because she's not all powerful anymore. She and Karen match so well, and I think they both turned a new leaf. They really deserve to be close to each other for a good amount of time... and if it's safe to do so via pregnancy, I see no problem with that.
Aaaaand if Karen then wants to have freaky incestous lesbo milf sex with Neon, well I certainly wouldn't begrudge them the right.
No reason to grow up too fast just for that though. Foals aren't as disadvantageous as all that, and part of the advantage of being an adult is all the experience you gained while becoming one. Plus Karen could fit in small spaces and convenient air ducts for sneaky maneuvers.
What if I'm a typo? How do we tell?
6372116
I'm not having your problem. I mean, it should be simple to tell who's talking when. Have you read novels before?
6374074 I don't think he meant 'talking' but rather who's perspective it is when it shifts.
I'm pretty sure you meant Cindy here, since the next sentence talks about a clone of Will.
First paragraph.
Understands
6375123 Fixed!
The...innuendo...*gasp*...the innuendo!
6374352 I know this is way after but I agree with Kitten, unless the title says whose POV it is, It takes a paragraph or 2 to figure whose POV it is. Only needs a lead in like '...from Neon's P.O.V.' or similar at the start and then it reads easy without confusion. Not trying to be difficult, just showing a reader's frustration at upsetting the flow of the story switching between chapters.