"Pinkie, I feel like we should stand back," you murmur. You see see the pot shaking back and forth. Pinkie shrugs, but she still finds herself stepping backwards just as you do. A torrent of low moans smack against the sides of the pot from the inside. Your lip quivers. "Sweet Christmas, is there something alive in there? Was I just your Igor a second ago?"
"E-go-re?" Pinkie comments as she looks up at you. "Is that a kind of frosting on your planet?"
"Forget it!" You slide over beside a refrigerator at the far side of the kitchen, not sure how to react.. The pot shivers, little magical pulses beginning to pop up at the base. "Pinkie, are you really sure about that dose of ingredients?"
"Dosage? Of course, you whiner!" Pinkie says, hopping over and sitting down besides the pot. "We only used a 'centimeter cubic' of the 'milk of amorous clover' or whatever." She scratches her head. "I thought that clovers were planets, by the way. It's so crazy that they can be milked like cows. I wonder where the udders are on a clover?
In this physics defying world of cartoon ponies, you wouldn't put it past them to have plump pink udders on plants, maybe somewhere deep in the forests outside Canterlot. You put a hand over your eyes for a second, trying to get the thought out of your mind. "Pinkie, are you aware of how small a 'cubic centimeter' is? You haven't taken any pony-chemistry classes or anything, have you?"
She shakes her head, giggling. She leans up against the clattering pot, not caring in the slightest about the bursts of magical energy going on around it. You scratch your head for a second, not knowing whether to cower in imminent danger or just relax with another iced tea.
"You poured like a third of a giant test tube in there," you say. You strain to think back to community college a couple years ago. You got a 'D' in the last chemistry class, but an 'A' in the labs portion. You look at your thumb, knowing that one cc had to be less than that. Well, wait a moment, why do ponies use human-ish concepts of measurement, anyways? Damn this silly colorful world and it's lack of sense-making! "Pouring all that! Isn't that, like, five times more than 'one cc'?"
"Oh, that would be great if it was, Snoopy!" Pinkie calls out, jumping out in your direction. "Five times the magical popping! Five times the flavor!"
You take a little breath as you slide down and sit on the kitchen floor. "At least you know what you're doing."
"Of course, I do!" She rustles a hoof in your hair. You pretend to swat at her, really not liking these little-kid-ish moves of hers. "I mean, I mostly do." She shuffles her hooves around. "I sort of do. I kind of do." She whistles, opening up another refrigerator. "It's trial and--"
*Boom!*
"Error," Pinkie mouths.
Time seems to slow down as you hear a deafening explosion, almost like one of those god-awful Michael Bay movies, and a bright pink light envelops the big pot. You see Pinkie flipping her body around with her back propped against the open refrigerator door. You lean out towards her. Gigantic ripples of what look like pink electricity course through the air along the floor. You open your mouth to scream, but you can't even think.
You blink. You see the bottom half of the pot seeming to totally evaporate, metal shards melting into pink goop as the pink magical light turns pure white. What looks like a never ending flow of fluffy pink bubbles pours across the floor from the pot. You flash back to when they showed a Saturn-V rocket talking off in U.S. history class for a moment.
Your feel your hands grabbing onto Pinkie's back hooves. Her tail goes over your face, and she partly curls over back upon your body. You blink again. You hear the explosion fading off into some combination of a crashing and sputtering sound. You close your eyes, and everything goes black.
You spend goodness knows how long out. Finally, you try to move your hands. You feel your fingers wiggling, and you shift about your feet.
"Snoopy!"
You push yourself upwards.
"Pink!" you scream out. "Pink! Pink everywhere!"
You shoot your head back and you glare upwards. You see the metal pot rocketing out out into the stratosphere, a thick pink and magenta trail flowing out of the back. It punches through a set of clouds, and you take a gulp. You taste cherry pinkness. At this point, you realize that the kitchen no longer has a roof, and you shiver.
You move your head down, and you eyes feast on the scene before you. Pink goop drips from the countertops, the ovens, the refrigerators, the trays of untensils along the wall, and everywhere else. The pink stuff seems to have transmogrified inside everything as well. Pink spatula. Pink clock. Pink oven-mitts. Pink cabinets. Pink doors. You run your fingers against the wall, and the layer of pinkness seems as solid as stone. And then you see your hand.
"Aaaaah! Pink! So goddamn pink!" You shudder your hand in the air. Your fingers obey your commend, but every inch of your skin and body hair looks every little bit as pink as Pinkie Pie. You suck in breaths, feeling overwhelmed by that endless pink flavor in the very air around you. You throw yourself to the right and glare at your reflection in the sink. "Oh my God!"
You run your bright pink hands against your pink face and up to your pink hair. It has fluttered about and poofed up almost exactly like Pinkie Pie's mane. I'm her. I guess. This is either my greatest dream or my worst nightmare.
"Or both!" Pinkie burst out, appearing from out of nowhere behind you. You spin, feeling so overcome by emotion. Your eyes swell up as you see Pinkie looking just as happy as ever.
"Were you reading my thoughts again? You!" you holler, your hands running down your back over to your pants. You finger the empty air behind you. Thank goodness I didn't grow a tail.
"What's wrong with a tail?" Pinkie asks, grinning as she blushes. She slides her own tail against your left leg. You blink again and again, hardly able to take how her hooves and your legs have the exact same color and general apparence.
"Pinkie!" You hop up and down, looking less like a human and more like an angry kangaroo from some Looney Toons production.
"Oh, Snoopy, you adorable-dorkable-pinkie-pants!" Pinkie replies. "I don't really read your thoughts, I just read your super-deedly-dudely-dooperly-quietly talking that you do when you think, using my Pinkie sense!"
"Okay..." you sit atop the counter, a pink metal fork sticking into your bottom. You pick it off as you wince, and you lock eyes with Pinkie. She seems just endlessly amused by the whole thing. "Well, trial and error right?" You furiously point out at all directions. "Holy cheese and crackles, I feel pink underneath my skin!" You pinch your fingers against your cheek, and she simply giggles. "I feel like I'm bleeding sugary raspberry frosting!"
Pinkie props her body up against the counter besides you, shifting her mane around. "That would be great, Snoopy!" Pinkie responds. "You'd taste great if you put a lot of yourself into my new--" She makes a 'cracked' sort of expression, her eyes dilating. "Cupcakes!"
You feel yourself turning white-- or, at least as whitish-pink as you can. "Pinkie," you moan like a defeated animal, your fingers going over her front hooves.
Pinkie throws her head back and laughs, her bottom hooves clopping against the floor. "Oh, you should have seen the look on your face!" She laughs even harder as you just stare blankly back at her. "You shouldn't believe everything that you read on the Ponynet with those pPads you, Twi, and Rarity use so much!"
You blow a raspberry, putting your fingers against your cheeks.
"So, I guess code XJH-9911-03.008 didn't work out," she says, slanting her head to the side. "Oh, well. Back to the cutting board, I suppose."
"Pinkie," you moan, "how long am I going to be like this--" You point with one hand over at your other hand, fingers gripping her hoof. "Just like you?"
"No worries, you frowny-pink-complainer! Won't be long at all!" You let out a sigh of relief. "Give or take a month or two, maybe."
"A month or two!" You can barely breathe. You feel sweat pouring off your head. You stick your tongue out, and you lick your own pinkish-red sweat. It tastes like cherry soda.
Pinkie shrugs, and she breaks free of your grip. She jumps up atop the counter besides you, and she stands up straight on her back hooves. She points up into the sky with both front hooves. "Enough talking! It's time for getting back that rocket-pot-thing!" She leans over and wiggles, making a concentrated face as she almost bites her lip. Her eyes narrow.
"Uh, Pinkie, what are you doing?"
"What's wrong with my engines?" Pinkie scowls, her tail drooping. "I need to complain to Boeing about these... these mechanical monstrosities. They don't even accept commercial fuel around these parts, anyways."
You take a deep breath.
"Oh, no!" Pinkie scrapes her hooves along her sides and smacks her cutie marks with her hooves. "What happened to my engines? Somepony must of stolen them!" She flips about left and right, glancing out in all directions. "My big grey engines are probably being sold on PonyBay on some 'Buy It Now' auction as we speak, most likely by some no-goodnic-Hooftington-underworld type!"
"Pinkie!"
She gropes about her flanks. "Maybe there's somepony with a fedora hat and trenchcoat coupled with red eyes walking about, with my engines clutched inside his pockets! If watching television has taught me anything, it's that dark-haired ponies with red eyes wearing a trenchcoat and fedora are evil! And they're everywhere! If only we could call Scooby-Doo and the gang to help!"
"Pinkie!" You smack your hands against the counter besides her.
"Yes?" She asks in a surprisingly calm, measured tone, sounding almost like a receptionist.
"Since when have you been able to fly?"
"Since--" She starts to say, opening her mouth up wide and melodramatically waving a hoof in the air. She trails off, closing her mouth and having a cold chill flash over her face. "Oh, I can't fly." She takes a gulp. "I forgot."
"Can't Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy take care of, uh," you say, fumbling for the right words, "areal assaults of a confectionery nature?" You glare at the pot way up in the sky, flipping about in a weird loop-de-loop as you speak.
"They're all the way over in Canterlot with their coltfriends, remember?"
You start to sweat even more, thick reddish-pink trails going down your cheeks. What the hell are we going to do? We didn't just destroy the kitchen-- Mr.Cake will be so pissed-- we have to do something about that flying magical whatnot. What if it comes back down and levels Mayor Mare's place in City Hall? Or Twilight's library? Or worse! And I'm still a living mix between a male human Pinkie Pie and a walking, sweating cherry!
"Oooh, that's right!" Pinkie says, reaching over and slurping along the side of your face. She smiles. "Like cherry soda!"
You make a low, angry groan. You turn, and you see Lyra's body perched out from part of the ruined roof. You take a deep breath.
To Be Continued...
m1.img.libdd.com/farm2/17/E3228D0D12ADADEB533453B2965ECC11_500_400.GIF
she's spotted you Snoopy
RUN!
oh no! the lyra-corn stalks her prey.
600023
600024
Thanks for the comments!
600166
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m02mqaLpCl1qh5o9h.png
600166
mine wasn't very useful was it?
600221
Well, whatever.
What do you want to see in chapter three?
600235
lyra does have shot to mate with the human
600280
For a second there, I thought that you said: "Lyra should shoot the human".
Which could be funny.
Assuming that she's hitting him with, I don't know, a sedative filled cream pie that will make him passive enough for her to drag him back to her place.
The thing is... this is not a clopfic. I don't want any mating to end up here, where it all ends up.
600285
doesn't need fap.
just end the story just before the porn part starts and it'll be all good
600309
Maybe... I'll think about that
600324
you know it should end with snoopy in lyra's house. the poor bastard tied to lyra's bed.
he's just freaking out because he has no idea what's going on.
lyra calms him down by explaining whats about to happen.
lyra slides a hoof down snoopy's chest towards his pants.
then end the story right there.
600338
Well that is... rape... which I'm not really so keen on writing.
600349
didn't you write that lyra stalks humans that arrive to equestria?
not a stretch to that extreme based on what you wrote.
since you don't want rape, pinkie could be involved to as well. make it semi-consensual i guess.
you know she would throw a threesome party.
I'm fine with more of Lyra being a complete creep and basket case, but how about we leave sex, like, entirely out of this story, both implied and explicitly stated
600429
What would you like to see next?
I've pretty much up in the air ideas wise now.
Well, that pot's gotta land somewhere. May as well make it somewhere important. The protagonist's gotta get de-pinkified, and I'd like to hear Lyra's explanation as to why she's on the roof. I'm sure we can all guess, but I'd like to hear it... straight from the horse's mouth.
By the by, I think you meant "aerial assault" where you wrote "areal assault".
"up in the air ideas wise". I see what you did there.
600480
Well that was, unexpected....then again Pinkie is involved so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by ANYTHING that happens
Can't wait to see what happens next with the rogue pot of goop and the Pinkie twins...
...No idea why I typed that...
Pink. Pink everywhere.
I wouldn't be surprised if that rocket-pot never came down. Congratulations, Pinkie! You're responsible for the first artificial satellite put into Low Equestrian Orbit!
Also, coltfriends you say? Hmm. Wonder what else we don't know about...
Loved how Obsessed with Humans you made Lyra.
This is what I thought of the pot exploding
I think some more adventures with pinkie pie shold commence, and then maybe some quest on how to get back to looking like self, instead of being a male human version of pinky pie maybe? i dunno. this is good, so just decide yourself on this one
600491 gotta have pinkie pie and (pinkie-snoopy) dating
"Silly-billy, humans aren't immune to magic... you just gotta use a LOT of it!"
Something like that, perhaps?
659877
I've sort of pictured things like that... although I guess it's still not too clear in my mind...
Some minor things to fix in chapter 3:
1. "Forget it!" You slide over besides a refrigerator at the far side of the kitchen, not sure how to react.. The pot shivers, little magical pulses beginning to pop up at the base. "Pinkie, are you really sure about that dose of ingredients?"
2. "Dosage? Of course, you whiner!" Pinkie says, hopping over and sitting down besides the pot. "We only used a 'centimeter cubic' of the 'milk of amorous clover' or whatever." She scratches her said. "I thought that clovers were planets, by the way. It's so crazy that they can be milked like cows. I wonder where the udders are on a clover?
3. She shakes her head, giggling. She leans up against the cluttering pot, not caring in the slightest about the bursts of magical energy going on around it.
4. She gropes about her flanks. "Maybe there's somepony with a fedora hat and trenchcoat coupled with red eyes walking about, with my engines clutched inside his pockets! If watching television has taught me anything, it's that dark-haired ponies (you have two spaces here) with red eyes wearing a trenchcoat and fedora are evil!
5. "Oh, no!" Pinkie scraps her hooves along her sides and smacks her cutie marks with her hooves.
Some praise:
1. "It's trial and--" *Boom!* (priceless)
2. Also, nice foreshadowing on the becoming pink thing.
3. Good job on your writing for Pinkie, I never feel like I make her crazy enough when I write her. It's like you have to go too far and then double it to do her character justice.
4. You do a good job raising questions for the reader and leaving them in the dark, but revealing enough to keep things interesting and rewarding.
Some Criticism:
1. Not sure all of these allusions and specific references to other shows and movies are doing you any good. They're just distracting from the story.
2. Second person perspective does nothing meaningful for the story unless the idea was just to make the whole thing weirder and more disorienting. Which, might well have been your intention, since this story is like a headtrip to read. (not necesary a bad thing I guess)
Some General Comments:
1. This story is whack.
2. It's good, but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
3. I'll probably have more to say when I finish the last chapter you've got done.
4. How much more are you planning to add? I can preread upcoming chapters if you'd like.
686243
I really don't know how much to keep going with this. I'm thinking of maybe just two chapters more. It's hard because I feel like I'm constantly building myself up to be weirder and weirder, which is tough to do.
There will be a short visit to Twilight followed by a short visual chase, I guess, and then it'll end.
And I'm glad that you like it!
600349
Haha, I'd love to see Lyra attempt and Snoopy accidentally knock her out before it gets to rape, giving him a chance of escape.
Or breaking free and leading to a Benny Hill chase.