What the Heart Craves

by ocalhoun

Chapter 9: Humility

Chapter 9 – Humility

Lemon Hearts trotted down Bridle Street. The afternoon sun made even this chilly fall air shimmer, but she had no taste for Ponyville's scenery today. Her eyes darted all over, urgently searching for one pony, but she didn't turn her head.

She didn't want to look desperate. She had appearances to maintain. And she had a nagging ache in her head that could only be fixed by making things right. She showed no expression. She would be a normal pony – a normal mother – simply jogging her way to an errand.

He was a heavyset young stallion with a blonde mane and ice cream for a cutie mark, she knew. Sea Swirl had said he was at work in the ice cream shop, but he hadn't been there.

At the ice cream shop, Double Scoop had said that he just left for the bowling alley. He must be there. He had to be.

She rushed on as much as she could without looking like she was in an unseemly hurry. She had to catch him, had to fix this problem at its source.

Finally, there he was, standing in front of the bowling alley and whispering into the ear of a smiling young mare. Lemon was fairly sure the mare was Derpy's daughter, but she couldn't remember her name.

He was the quintessential big dumb brute of a stallion, one who probably cared more about sports scores than the mare beside him. Lemon swallowed her disdain. This colt was the source of the problem, so he must be the solution.

Approaching him with the sincerest smile she could manage, Lemon butted into their conversation. “Oh, hello. Lickety Split, right?” She waited a moment, but only got stares in return. “Could I talk to you a little—” she eyed his marefriend “—in private.”

Lickety stroked his big, bulbous jaw, and his eyes wandered up and down Lemon's body. Of course a colt like him would take it that way. Of course he'd agree to it right in front of his special somepony. He slapped his mare's rump. “Go on inside, Dinky. I'll be there in a minute or two.”

Dinky stared at him for a moment. She had enough sense to distrust him ... but apparently not enough sense to stay away from him entirely. “Well ... okay.” Glancing behind her as she went, she stepped into the bowling alley.

“Come on, we can, heh, talk out back in the side street.” Lickety hurried around the corner. Lemon could see him already beginning to bulge out of his sheath – just a dumb colt letting his body think for him. Did he really think he was such a stud that random mares would drag him into the alley for a rutting?

Before Lemon rounded the corner, she caught a glimpse of Dinky creeping back out of the bowling alley's door and following after her.

Lemon smiled. Good. Maybe this would be educational for the young mare.

The narrow street between the bowling alley and the hairdresser's was a little overgrown, and it was cluttered with old empty crates of mane product.

At the end of it, Lickety leaned against a tall crate, a huge dumb grin on his face. “So... what do you want to talk about?” He flicked his mane to the side with a hoof.

“Do you remember Bella Rave?” Lemon walked up to him, her stare boring into him the whole way.

His libido visibly shrank away, replaced by a wary caution. “Yeah, I guess. What about her?”

“You made her pregnant, that's what, Mister!”

“Not my problem.”

“Ugh!” Lemon stomped the ground, crushing some of the brittle autumn grass. “It is your problem! It's your foal my daughter is carrying around inside her!”

“It's not a big deal, okay? And I offered to pay for the abortion!” He held his head high, as if that was some noble accomplishment.

Lemon stalked toward him. “It is a big deal. You have to take responsibility.”

“What responsibility? She knew what she was doing. It was her choice to—”

“She was on drugs! I could call that rape if I wanted. Now, come and—”

“Well, I was drunk! I could say she raped me if I wanted!”

Blinking, Lemon took a step back. “Why, of all the...” She winced. Somehow, her control of the conversation was slipping.

“You can't do anything to me, lady.” Now Lickety had an entirely different smug grin, a cruel and thoughtless one. “I'm going inside with my marefriend.”

“Your ex-marefriend.”

Both of them turned to see Dinky marching into the alley.

Lickety ran up to her. “What?”

“I heard that. I heard all of that.” The tall, teenaged mare stopped in between Lickety and Lemon, staring him down. “And I'm not going to have such an irresponsible stallion as my coltfriend! What if I got pregnant? You'd do the same to me, I bet!” Dinky's eyes pinched at the edges, glimmering with a hint of tears.

But why would she be so...? Of course. Dinky Hooves – Derpy's little girl ... who grew up with a single mom. Lemon stared at her. No wonder she was touchy about it.

“No, but—” Lickety sputtered. “It's different!”

Dinky scowled at him. “No. No, it really isn't – I'm gone.” She turned and marched away, never looking back.

“Goddess dammit!” Lickety grimaced. “Look what you've done, lady!” He stormed out of the alley after Dinky.

Lemon grinned. He wouldn't win that one back. Served him right for what he'd done to Bella. Her grin faltered and fell. But this wasn't helping her family any. Seeing Lickety hurt wasn't going to solve any problems.

She gave a long sigh. How would she ever keep her family respectable now?

⁂

Ugh, is he ever going to shut up? Bella rubbed her face with a hoof. Arpeggio's lectures were never something to look forward to. I wonder if he's this unbearable when he's talking to his students in Canterlot.

“... Which is why your mother and I pay nineteen bits a month for your education, little lady.” He paced back and forth across the living room, still wearing his old tweed jacket. “And what about the bathroom mirror? Nopony will admit to it, but Ruby swears you're the one who—”

The front door slammed open, flooding the room with daylight. Lickety Split barged in.

“Young colt! You cannot just—”

Lickety didn't even look at Arpeggio. “Bella Rave!” He stalked toward her, his hooves beating heavy in the soft carpet. “You ruined my life, you little ... slut! Why can't you know to take a pill or, or when to get an abortion?” His pace faltered, wavering, and the smell of booze spread through the room. He stumbled to the side, but his bloodshot eyes locked onto Bella and he pointed a wavering hoof at her. “You owe me!”

Arpeggio stepped in his way, blocking his path to Bella, stopping him cold. He towered over Lickety, though they should have been about the same height. Nopony could doubt the center of power in the room. The way he stood, he could have stared down a manticore. “This is my daughter and my house. You will not talk to her this way. You will not come in here like this.”

Lickety's mouth opened, but no sound came out.

Arpeggio's light blue magic aura seized the colt, lifting him off his hooves. “Nopony talks to my daughter like that.” His horn flashed, and Lickety was telekinetically thrown out of his house, landing in a heap outside.

As Arpeggio closed the door, a strange warmth filled Bella. It felt good to have her dad there, to be able to depend on his protection. To feel safe.

He turned and stared at her.

Uh-oh. That fleeting warmth vanished as quickly as Lickety had ... yet still, some shadow of it remained.

“Bella Heart Rave, you have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Well, it's a long story, and, um ... complicated and...” She bit her lip and looked off to the side.

“So tell me all of it.” He used his magic to slide his heavy recliner next to her spot on the couch. “I have all day.”

Well, I guess I have to tell him now... Bella glanced at him, then went back to staring at the carpet. “Okay ... I guess it all started when I was going to a rave with Ruby and Silver. I was really excited about it because...”

⁂

Well, that's that. Bella waited to see how her dad would respond.

“I can't believe this kind of behavior from my daughter! I could maybe understand it if you were just telling me that Silver Spoon was more than just a friend – I'm not quite the stick in the mud that some take me for, but...” He huffed, rising from his seat. “But this?” His recliner shoved back into its normal spot, with far more telekinetic force than necessary. “To find out that you and your mother have been hiding this from me! If the school board finds out about—”

Bella snapped, jumping up to face him. “Yeah, and it's all about the school board, isn't it? All about your precious career, all about your reputation. Even Mom only cares about making her family look good! Neither of you care about me at all!”

“What?” He didn't budge an inch. “How dare you? With the vice-principal position opening up soon, we can't afford any mistakes!” Veins pulsed in his face. “After we took you in, after all we've done for you... you—”

“You only took me in because you couldn't make your own kids! I'm just some kind of status symbol for you!”

Arpeggio took a step back, his eyes wide and locked on Bella.

Grinning fiercely, Bella prodded him in his moment of weakness. “You don't care about us at all, not either of us! That's why you're always gone, because your prestigious teaching career is more important. You're no better than my real mom!”

Arpeggio's eyes drifted away from her – he stared off in the distance. “Actually, Vinyl has always been there for us. She helps out with the bills, and she buys presents for you. We wouldn't be able to afford your school without her help... She's a good mare.”

“What?” You were conspiring with her this whole time?” It made her stomach heave. What gifts had been from that traitor? “You... You told me you didn't know who my real parents were!”

“Bella, I—”

“You lied to me!” It was all lies! I can't trust any—

“I'm sorry, Bella.” Arpeggio's head hung low, and he heaved a heavy sigh.

Bella froze in mid-rant.

He cringed, gritting his teeth, but he forced himself to continue. “You're ... right. About some of that, anyway. We were wrong to keep Vinyl Scratch a secret from you, and I have been putting a lot of focus on my career ... maybe too much. It's hard to... I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but...” He sighed again. “It was unfair to you ... to all of you.”

Bella stared at him, her mouth gaping and the rage flowing out of her, forgotten. He's... I think I can actually understand him.

“And I apologize for my outburst...” He looked up at her, staring closely. “It's just, well, the thought of my little filly becoming a mare... it's a little frightening.”

She couldn't take it anymore. Jumping up, she wrapped her hooves around his solid neck. “I love you, Dad!”

After a tiny hesitation, he returned the hug. “I love you too.”

She squeezed him hard before letting him go; his tweed jacket scruffled against her chest. When she finally did drop back down, a new fire glowed in her – a warmth that constantly told her 'everything is going to be okay'.

Her smile faded. But everything isn't going to be okay. Everything's falling to pieces.

Shockingly, Arpeggio actually noticed the change. “Bella? ... What's wrong?”

“It's just...” She turned away. How can I tell him?

He looked at her. His eyes seemed to go right through her. “It's Vinyl Scratch, isn't it?”

Bella nodded softly. “And Silver Spoon.”

“Well, I wouldn't know anything about that.”

Bella rolled her eyes. It wasn't as if two mares being together was something new, but that didn't stop him.

“But I do know Vinyl is a good mare. She deserves an apology.”

“Apologize?” Bella whipped her head back to face him. “Apologize for being abandoned, for being neglected? Sure. Right. I'll just do that.” She threw her hooves up.

“Giving a foal up for adoption is a very reasonable and responsible choice. It's a choice you would do well to consider for yourself.”

There was nothing to say to that, nothing Bella wanted to say. With a shake of her head, she blew past him and up the stairs. She'd had enough. Still, she paused at the top of the stairs, just out of view, wondering what he would do.

For a long moment, nothing happened. She heard the front door open and close. He'd gone out ... where? What's he doing?

She shook her head and walked into her room. It didn't matter.

⁂

Bella sat at her desk again. The blank page still sat there, but she hadn't touched it. She'd been staring out through her window for hours... thinking. As the sun gave way to the shockingly early fall dusk, her thoughts strayed more and more toward a cute grey and silver mare she'd never touch again.

Downstairs, the front door opened and closed. She could hear it latch shut ... and she could hear muffled voices inside.

She looked back up at her page. Before, whenever she didn't know what to draw, she'd have drawn her idol ... but who was her idol now?

Hoofsteps were coming up the stairs.

Probably Dad, coming up to give me another lecture. She rolled her eyes. The door's staying shut. He can talk to the wall if he wants.

Somepony knocked on the door.

Weird. Dad doesn't usually knock.

“Bella?” It was Vinyl's voice!

It can't be. Bella rushed over to her door and flung it open.

Vinyl Scratch stood there, in Bella's house, holding a silver-wrapped package in her hooves. She jumped back a little from the door bursting open in front of her. “Oh, uh, hey Bella. I was wondering if we could talk, maybe?”

A small but undeniable part of Bella wanted to revert back to her old fangirl days and celebrate her idol coming so close to actually being in her bedroom. As much as she might want to, she couldn't forget the many times she'd fantasized about just that ... but that was her mom she had fantasized about. It made her sick and the wave of repulsion rolled right into the fact that this was her traitor mom, how had abandoned her to her fate. She doesn't deserve to talk to me.

Bella shook her head and turned away from the door.

“Um...” Vinyl shuffled back and forth behind her. “But he said she wanted to talk,” she muttered under her breath, then she gave a slight gasp. “Oh, here – I brought you something!”

Whirling around, Bella caught Vinyl with a huge, stressed grin on her face.

Her grin collapsed when it wasn't returned.

Bella shoved the box out of Vinyl's hooves. It crashed to the ground and something inside shattered.

Vinyl cringed and backed away.

“What, so you're just going to buy me off now, is that it?” Bell sneered at her former idol. “Screw you! You abandoned me. Why should I want you around now?”

Bella could see the glint of a few tears coming from behind Vinyl's glasses, forcing the DJ to take them off and wipe her eyes. Bella reveled in it – that was long-overdue payback for all Vinyl had done to her.

“I used to look up to you. I used to think you were cool. But now I see the truth: you're nothing! You just ran away from your problems and let other ponies deal with it. You...”

Bella caught a glimpse of Lemon at the top of the stairs. She was staring at Bella with a slight frown and care-worn wrinkles around her eyes.

Turning back to Vinyl, Bella finally saw her, saw the pain on her face. She wasn't the untouchable teen idol, and she wasn't the sleazy deadbeat mom ... not anymore. What Bella saw was a pony ... a pony full of pain that Bella was causing.

Even though Bella's tirade had paused, Vinyl still cringed away, staring at her own hooves.

Something inside Bella broke. She darted forward and swept Vinyl up in a hug.

Vinyl tensed up, staring at Bella with her mouth gaping wide. After a moment, though, she wrapped her own hooves around, returning the hug.

“I'm sorry, Vinyl.” Bella squinted through her watering eyes. “I'm so sorry.”

Vinyl pulled back, looking at Bella. “No, don't—”

“I am! It's just...”

“I love you, Bella.” Vinyl smiled, and the warmth of it washed through Bella. “I always have – I should have never given you up.” She pulled Bella in and hugged her fiercely, as if she would never let go.

Bella could barely breathe, and her own eyes were burning with tears now. “I love you too, Mom.” She caught the slightest glimpse of Lemon turning and heading down the stairs with a big, contented smile on her face.

Eventually, the two of them broke apart, still standing in Bella's doorway.

Vinyl grinned. “You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that.”

Her grin went unanswered. Bella wiped tears from her eyes, but they kept coming. “Why, though? Why did you do it?”

“Oh.” Vinyl's smile faded. “Can I come in?”

Bella nodded.

Laying a hoof on Bella's shoulder, Vinyl led her to the bed and they sat together, side by side, staring at the empty walls. “I guess I do owe you an explanation.” She sighed. “I was young – really young, younger than you, and it was after one of my first, real paying solo gigs... And that's where I met your dad – your real dad – at the after-party.” She scratched the back of her neck. “Well, one of them must have been your real dad.”

Bella leaned away, staring at Vinyl with wide eyes.

“I was high on a lot of locoweed at the time, okay?” She shook her head. “And even more high on my success. ... It didn't take long to find out afterward. I was pregnant – with you.”

Bella gave a hesitant chuckle and wiped the remnants of tears away.

“And everypony told me a foal would ruin my life. They told me I couldn't party anymore – I love partying! And, you know, I travel around all the time. There's my pad in Las Pegasus, but I'm hardly ever there...” She paused for a long moment, rubbing her hoof up and down one thigh. “I figured it was for the best.”

Staring at her, Bella could hardly think. It all flowed past her without touching her.

Vinyl let the silence hang for a moment and wrapped a hoof around Bella again. “I was wrong.”

Bella indulged in another teary hug, leaning into her long-lost mom.

Nudging her, Vinyl softly cleared her throat. “Bella ... your foal?”

Bella jolted.

“Yeah, Arpeggio told me.” She stared at Bella. “You won't make the same mistake I did, will you?”

In that moment, it couldn't be clearer. “Of course not.” She blinked. I'm ... keeping it – keeping him. She smiled. I'm going to need a name. After a few moments, though, she slumped, drooping down against Vinyl.

“What's wrong now?”

“There's nothing I can do about it.”

“Nothing you can do about what? The foal?” Vinyl cocked her head to the side.

“He's going to grow up with just me and nopony else.”

Vinyl punched her in the shoulder, making her flop back and forth a little. “Oh come on! He'll have a grandpa, and two grandmas, and a weird uncle!” She laughed.

Bella didn't join in the laughter.

“That isn't it, is it?” Vinyl gently rubbed Bella's back, trying to ease the tension out of it. Finally, she sighed. “Arpeggio told me about Silver Spoon.”

Leaning away, Bella propped her head up with a hoof. “There's nothing I can do about that now.”

“Did you apologize?”

“Of course!” She turned back around and shook her head. “But she still hates me.” It's all pointless.

“Did you apologize, or did you make excuses?”

“I—” Bella groaned. “I don't know.” Everything was running back through her head again now. I'm a horrible pony.

Hooves grabbed both sides of Bella's back and pulled her back toward Vinyl, then wrapped around her in another hug. “Look – apologizing is hard. You have to admit you were wrong, and that hurts.

“But what if she still won't take me back?” Why would she ever take me back? Bringing it up like this brought the pain back. It might have been easier to forget about Silver.

“Then you keep trying.” Vinyl patted her on the chest. “It's love. It's supposed to be hard.”

Comments

[harts fire]

this chapter is perfectly named as the one word sums up the hole chapter.

Humility
exultant work.

Harts Fire

[nemryn]

Things are finally looking up!

Which obviously means that we're due for some new disaster next chapter. Maybe Lickety Split will go on a rampage or something.

[ocalhoun]

6002512
^.^ Glad to hear that.

[ocalhoun]

6002750
We'll see, we'll see.