• Published 9th Apr 2015
  • 3,587 Views, 145 Comments

The Truth About Farmboys - justanothername



Continually harassed by mares, Big Mac thinks he'll never find the one.

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The Date

Ever since that fateful meeting in Canterlot, Rarity had been courted by Fancypants, one of the richest men in the entire city. He’d been the first genuinely kind and down to earth stallion Rarity had met in a very long time and she was the first fresh face and personality he’d seen in a long time. The most controversial thing was that Fancy was at least a decade older than Rarity. Rarity’s parents had been skeptical too…until they learned what he was worth and their opinions quickly changed.

Twilight was being informed of this by Rarity, who was attempting to convince her to a double date.

“You’re certain about this, Rarity?” Twilight asked.

“Of course I am, darling. The two of you deserve a good night out on the town and Fancypants is such a generous spirit. You three will get along splendidly.”

“If you say so.”

Twilight soon found herself knocking at the Apple family door, unsure of what she was getting herself into. Granny Smith answered the door.

“Well, howdy-do, Twilight.”

“Hi, Granny. Is Mac home?”

“Upstairs. Applejack beat him to the shower and since her Soarin fella’s here, she ain’t gonna be getting out anytime soon.”

Twilight’s face flushed at the thought of Applejack and her Wonderbolt Adonis partaking in shower sex and hurried in and upstairs.

She saw that his door was open and headed towards it. Peeking in, Macintosh had his back to her and he was naked. Twilight’s mind went blank at the sight of Mac’s perfectly toned red buttocks, branded with a green apple cutie mark, and his bulging calves. He didn’t notice her at all, pulling his pants back on while grumbling about how Applejack was going to hog all the hot water with her humping. Twilight immediately shot away from the door, praying fervently that the burning in her cheeks would stop. While rubbing them, she also realized that she was drooling too.

“Big Mac, it’s me, can I come in?” Twilight managed to say.

“Eeyup.” Mac said. Twilight walked in and sat down on Macintosh’s bed, trying not to focus on his shirtless torso.

“Don’t mind me, Applejack and Soarin got in the shower first and they won’t be leaving anytime soon.”

“They’re that bad?”

“Eeyup. They’re lucky Soarin does his part to help out whenever he comes down. As if Ah’d let him stay if all he did was eat and bang AJ like an old screen door.”

“I, uh, see. Anyway, Mac, I’m here because Rarity wants the two of us to double date with her in Canterlot tonight. Can you make it?”

There was a pause as Mac mentally ran through his options.

“Sure I can…” He finally said.

“Okay, then, I’ll see you tonight.”

As Twilight left, Mac was none too sure about what he’d gotten himself into.

“A date up in Canterlot, huh?” Granny said as she shuffled in. “Well, lucky you.”

“Ah don’t know if it’s a good idea…”

“Poppycock. You’re more than good enough for Canterlot.”

“Aw, shucks, Granny, Ah don’t know anythin’ bout them fancy folk.”

“Quit yer bellyachin’ and jist focus on yer girl, that’s why yer goin’ anyway.”

Macintosh was too busy dealing with his anticipation and dread to correct Granny on her views of his and Twilight’s relationship. As he worked through the day, his thoughts were plagued by all that he had heard about how those who lived in Canterlot absolutely abhorred anything that was different than them. When his work was finished by the end of the day, he went to his closet to find something at least halfway decent, only to find Granny already had something for him.

“Your daddy’s tux. It’s the only thing you’ve got that’s fit to get inta Canterlot.”

“Granny, Ah couldn’t…”

“Ya can and ya will. Remember, those who don’t take advantage of something good risk havin’ it taken away from them.”

Afterwards, Big Macintosh went to the library to collect Twilight. She was waiting for him with her gala dress. The two went to the train station and rode to Canterlot with little conversation. Once they got off, they flagged down a cab.

“Fancy Estate, please.” Twilight said as they got in.

“Got it.” The driver said in a disinterested voice.

The taxi shot off down the road like it was fired from a cannon. It weaved dangerously past other cars, ran several red lights, and nearly mowed down several pedestrians.

“Are you out of your mind?” Twilight shrieked as she and Macintosh were thrown from side to side in the back.

“Mm-hmm, sit tight.” The driver said, neither his expression nor tone changing.

Suddenly, an orange Pegasus guard splattered over the windshield of the taxi. He stuck for a few moments before being blown off, leaving the windshield cracked and bloodied.

“You just hit someone!” Twilight screamed in horror.

“Mm-hmm, don’t worry, he’s fine.” The driver said.

Two guards on the street watched the taxi roar off and then looked at the mangled guard.

“Hey, isn’t that Flash Sentry?” One of them asked.

“I believe it is.” The other said.

“The one who was turned to stone by a cockatrice last week?”

“Yes.”

“And was nearly eaten by a hydra the week before that?”

“Yeah.”

“And got the snot beaten out of him by changelings the week before that?”

“Yup.”

“Boy, someone must really have it in for this guy.”

“Mm-hmm.”

After two minor heart attacks, the taxi dropped the two of them off at the gate of a large opulent mansion. The traumatized couple gave the driver his fare and he roared off. Upon taking a few moments to compose themselves, Twilight pressed the button to open the gates. They walked down a brick road lined with fountains and topiaries until they reached the mansion door. Mac rang the bell and a butler answered.

“May I ask who is calling?” The butler asked.

“We’re here for Fancypants and Rarity.”

“Ah, yes. Right this way, please.”

The butler led them down long hallways, all decked out in furniture and artwork, servants attending to everything. Macintosh was very overwhelmed.

“Twilight! Macintosh! You’re here!” Rarity cried as she came down a large set of marble stairs, followed by a white unicorn with a blue mane and mustache and a build almost like Mac’s.

“Fancy, darling, this Macintosh, Twilight’s date and brother of one of my best friends.” Rarity said once they’d gotten close enough to make introductions.

“A pleasure to meet you, old boy!” Fancypants said jubilantly, shaking Macintosh’s hand.

“Likewise.” Macintosh replied.

“Take any of the rooms upstairs to change. Our dinner reservations are in an hour.”

Big Mac and Twilight went upstairs and went into separate rooms. Mac removed his working clothes and put on his father’s tux. He also combed his mane and even shaved a bit before looking at himself in a full-body mirror. The resemblance to his father was stunning. Mac quickly exited the room, hoping he looked the slightest bit presentable when Twilight came out as well in her gala finery.

“You look amazing, Twilight.” He said meaningfully.

“So do you.” Twilight said, blushing.

The two of them hurried down to the front door where Rarity and Fancy were waiting, Rarity in her gala dress and Fancy in his usual wear. Fancy led them to his limo and they were off.

Soon, the four of them were in one of the best restaurants in all of Canterlot, in full view of the palace.

“Fancypants, party of four.” Fancypants told the maître‘d.

“Right this way, sir.” The maître’d said.

He led the four of them into the dining room which was full of rich folks eating and talking. One of them spotted Twilight and Rarity.

“EEEEEKKKKKK! IT’S THEM!” She screamed in pure horror.

Everyone else turned and saw Twilight and Rarity and their eyes widened in horror. They all fled the restaurant, diving through windows and running through the kitchen, screaming all the while. The four stood in shock.

“Um…your table, sirs, and madams.” The maître’d said awkwardly, giving them the closest table which still had abandoned food on it.

“What just happened?” Twilight asked as she sat down. Fancypants suddenly looked incredibly embarrassed.

“Um…well…let’s just say you have a bit of a…reputation at establishments such as these.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Erm…well, you’ll recall the Grand Galloping Gala? How there was a massive stampede of the animals from the gardens? The Gala ended early because of that and a few ponies were injured, either by trampling or being attacked by frightened animals.”

Twilight got the feeling of her insides freezing.

“The partygoers were quite angry, as I remember.” Fancy continued, despite Rarity’s frantic motions for him to stop. “Quite a few of them went directly to Celestia demanding that you and your friends be punished but Celestia reimbursed them on their tickets as compensation.”

“Oh.” Twilight felt like sinking into the floor.

“And there was also the Garden Party, the guests there were very upset that you and your friends crashed it. They also complained to Celestia for justice and she reimbursed them as well. It’s started a lot of nasty rumors and you and your friends’ relationship with the princess.”

Twilight looked utterly mortified, Macintosh’s eyes flittered back and forth between her and Fancy with an awkward look on his face, and Rarity’s face was in her hands in disbelief that Fancy was still talking.

“Twilight, I know the ponies here have very low opinions of ponies who aren’t as rich as they are and I know that those ponies think that Canterlot is filled with snobs and they are not wrong. But that doesn’t mean you can just disregard their feelings and act however you want because you think they’re snobby. Surely you’d act the same way if someone did the same to you. And I’m not just picking on you, I’d say the same thing to your friends too. If you want to improve relations between different social classes, you should treat others with respect and they’ll see that you’re someone worth respecting. I’m not saying they’ll change their ways immediately, but-”

“Thank you, Fancy!” Rarity interrupted. “That was quite informative! Now, who wants to order? Ooo, this soup looks divine!”

The waiter took their orders, despite being spooked by the evacuation of the restaurant, and the four sat in awkward silence for a bit after he left.

“Fancy, Macintosh’s family are the leading producers of apples in all of Equestria and he’s in charge of the business in Ponyville!” Rarity said, desperately trying to revive conversation.

“Is that right?” Fancypants said. “Respectable occupation, Mr. Macintosh. I have a finger in almost every company in Canterlot.”

“Thank ya kindly, Fancy. We’ve been a cornerstone of Apple production for as long as I can remember.”

“So how did you and Rarity meet?”

“Oh, I happened to be doing so design work in Canterlot, that’s when we met, although he didn’t formally ask me until the…” Rarity stopped and looked at Twilight. “Well, in any case, it was when I was in Canterlot…”

After dinner, the four went to Canterlot Park where they walked down the dirt paths until they reached a large hill where they sat to view the glowing moon. Once there, Fancy and Rarity began kissing passionately. Macintosh and Twilight looked at them awkwardly and then turned towards each other. Frightened and unsure, the two slowly leaned in. Twilight could smell the musk of the fields and the orchard and Macintosh could smell old books and violets. Their lips briefly touched before finally connecting. Nothing in the world could’ve prepared them for this. Twilight felt a strange surge go through her like when she awakened the Element of Magic along with the taste of apples on his full lips. Macintosh felt something similar, only he had no words to describe it or the taste.

They parted, looking absolutely amazed. Fancypants and Rarity looked at the two, bemusedly.

“You never forget your first.” Fancypants chuckled, nudging Macintosh.

It was after midnight when the four returned to Fancypants’ estate.”

“It’s awfully late; you’re more than welcome to stay the night.” He offered.

“We couldn’t impose…” Mac said.

“Nonsense! I’d never dream of sending you out to the station at this hour! The guest bedroom is upstairs and right across from mine. Or rooms if that’s what you would prefer. Just call the staff if you need anything.”

With that, Fancypants escorted the giggling Rarity into the master bedroom, shutting the door behind them. Once they were gone, Twilight let out an audible sigh and went into one of the rooms. Mac followed, sensing she’d entered another funk.

“Well, another instance of my awful mistakes being thrown back in my face.” Twilight groaned, throwing herself on the bed. “What in the name of all that is good and decent is my problem.”

“Now, Twilight, don’t start with that. If anything, those snobs deserved to have their fancy parties crashed.” Mac said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Really? Even if it reinforced their belief that anyone who isn’t from Canterlot is an uncivilized boorish hick?” Twilight said dryly, rolling over to look up at him.

“…okay, ya have a point there. But that still doesn’t excuse them for bein’ so snobby an…aw, let’s just forget about it, all right?”

Macintosh undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He took it off before stopping and thinking.

“Uh, look, Ah’m gonna go ta the other room…”

Twilight just gawked at him. She had seen Big Mac shirtless before, but to see him actually remove it in her presence…something in her mind caught fire. She ripped her dress off, tearing it in several places in her haste, and launched herself at him. Twilight buried her face in his chest, rubbing against the carpet of orange hair and his massive pectorals, her mind making a dim connection to plateaus. She let herself slide southward and began kissing all six of his rock hard abdominals.

Macintosh figured this would happen eventually. Twilight had repressed her sexuality for quite some time and to be with a man like him, well, the dam was sure to burst sooner or later. Nevertheless, he was still shocked, as Twilight was acting like a totally different person, sitting up and planting her back against his chest and then wrapping his arms around her, stroking them and kissing them, making them flex so she could enjoy his biceps. There was also the fact that his pants were becoming tighter by the second…

Then, Twilight suddenly stopped and ducked out his grip. She moved over to a corner of the bed.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” She said dully.

“No, no, it was mah fault, Ah…uh…” Mac said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “Ah’m gonna go. Good night now.”

He quickly ducked out of the room, leaving Twilight alone. She was extremely embarrassed by what she’d done but still wished they had kissed goodnight if nothing else. The evening had been lovely and her first ever kiss had been all she’d imagined and more but the way the elite had fled in abject terror of her still weighed heavily on mind. Twilight opened the minibar and began pulling out the contents. She’d never drank before but she’d have to start somewhere.

Meanwhile, Mac was in bed, jerking off furiously to a fantasy of Twilight dressed like a sexy librarian who had accidentally cast a spell that was making her bust grow at an astonishing rate.