• Published 9th Apr 2015
  • 3,591 Views, 145 Comments

The Truth About Farmboys - justanothername

Continually harassed by mares, Big Mac thinks he'll never find the one.

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First Date

“Aw yeah…aw yeah…aw yeah…aw yeah…YEAH BABY!”

Thunderlane got off of Rainbow Dash and lay next to her, panting.

“For Pete’s sake, Dash, I’ve been here since yesterday afternoon! I love having sex with you, but even I can only run for so long!”

“Ah, quit whining, ya big baby. I let you spank me, didn’t I?”

Thunderlane’s hand began quivering at the thought of smacking against Dash’s perfectly toned blue buttocks. Rainbow Dash shifted a bit.

“Hey, can you get serious for a bit?”

“Uh, sure, why?” Thunderlane asked as he shoved his shaking hand under his back.

“You know Big Macintosh, right?”

“Heck, who doesn’t? Mares wanna bang him, stallions wanna be him, some stallions wanna kill him, some stallions wanna bang him…”

“And you know my friend Twilight, right?”


“Well, she’s trying to start something with him.”

Thunderlane looked at Rainbow in surprise.


“Yup. She told me and Rarity about having the hots for him. Cripes, you never saw a mare acting so virginal.”

“Yeesh, plenty of mares are going to be royally pissed.”

“Yeah. They are.”

The two lay in silence for a while, staring up at the ceiling.

“So, why are you telling me this?” Thunderlane finally asked.

“I’m worried about Twilight.”


Rainbow scowled at him.

“Er…I mean…how come?”

“I joke about how wound up and stressed Twilight gets, but the truth it gets really worrisome. I mean, Twilight is Celestia’s number one student, she’s the Element of Magic, she’s from Canterlot, she’s our unofficial leader…I can’t begin to imagine how much pressure that puts on her. I mean, when we first met her, Twilight did a lot for us, paying for meals, organizing stuff for us to do, apologizing profusely when she did something wrong…it’s like she thought she had to prove to us that she was a good friend and genuinely thought we’d kick her to the curb if she didn’t meet our so-called ‘standards’. She’s gotten better, but stuff like that isn’t cured easily.”

“Since when were you into psychology?”

“Hey, I’m not THAT stupid.”

There was another pregnant pause.

“You know, this has got to be the weirdest pillow talk I’ve ever had.” Thunderlane finally said.

“Hey, feel honored.” Rainbow said. “I really trust you and like you to spill my guts the way I just did.”

Thunderlane looked at her in surprise.


“Sure. I let you spank me because I know you like it, not just because it helps you get off.”

Thunderlane sat up eagerly.

“Speaking of which…”

Rainbow Dash rolled over so her back was facing him.

“Sorry, pal. One, we just talked about something serious. Two, the last time you spanked me more than once, I couldn’t sit down for nearly a week. Three, I’m tired, so shut up and go to sleep.”

With a disappointed look, Thunderlane slunk under the covers, muttering about blue balls.

“And if you start jerking off, I’m gonna kick you outta my bed.”

Over at the library, Twilight was sitting with a pair of Canterlot elite, trying to get them to invest in some of Ponyville’s businesses, one of the few things on her list of events she couldn’t ignore today.

“…This town is very prosperous.” Twilight said. “It has a farm which is part of a very successful produce business, a dress shop that has done work for several big names, and that’s not even getting into all the phenomena that has gone on in recent months.”

The two unicorns exchanged glances.

“Is there a problem?” Twilight asked.

“Well, the proposition sounds very good…” The first said.

“But…?” Twilight pressed.

“It’s you we don’t like.” The second said.

“Bu…But why?” Twilight asked, visibly flinching. “I’m Celestia’s student! I’m the one who brought this town to your attention!”

“That’s exactly it.” The first said. “You’re Celestia’s student, but your history is very…spotty.”

Twilight’s insides froze.

“What exactly do you mean by ‘spotty’?”

The second pulled a newspaper out of his briefcase and showed it to her.

“According to this, you were responsible in placing a ‘want-it, need-it’ spell on a doll, driving the whole town into a frenzy. Is this not correct?”

“Yes, it’s true.” Twilight forced herself to say. “But I’m not proud of…”

“And you and your friends were responsible for trashing not just one, but two of the biggest events in all of Canterlot?” He further pressed, pulling two other newspapers.

“Well, yes, but…”

“No buts!” The second said, standing up. “It’s clear to us that you’ve failed to act as a proper representative and example of Canterlot and the princess herself! You should be ashamed, acting like an immature, irresponsible filly!”

“We’ll need some time to consider this proposition. Thank you for having us.” The first said, leading his partner away.

“I knew we should’ve met with the mayor…” The second muttered as the door closed behind them.

Twilight remained her chair, frozen in shock and embarrassment. The events the two men had recounted played back in her head, filling her with shame, disgust, and remorse. She slowly got up, drew the blinds on all the windows, and walked down to the basement, closing the door behind her. Once she was in the basement’s furthest corner, she began to cry. Tears running down her face, Twilight’s sobs filled the basement. Suddenly, her hand shot up and slapped her in the face.

“Stop it!” She yelled at herself. “Stop it! You baby! Why do you do these things? What’s wrong with you? Can’t you do anything right?”

Twilight sank to the floor, sobbing quietly. She stayed there for a very long time.

At around five o’ clock, Big Macintosh walked towards the library. He was freshly showered and shaved, he wore a clean T-shirt and jeans, and he held a bouquet of apple blossoms. Taking Applejack’s advice, he was going to take Twilight out. He pressed the doorbell, which sounded all throughout the library. There was the sound of footsteps coming up from somewhere and to the door.

“We’re closed.” A miserable voice said.

“It’s me, Twilight.”


The door unlocked and flew open. Twilight stood there, her clothes rumpled, her hair a mess, her eyes red and cheeks looking sore. Mac was shocked.

“Twilight! What happened to you?”

“Wha-oh no!” Twilight cried as she felt her face.

She ran back upstairs and into her room, slamming the door behind her. Frantically, she tore off her clothes and threw on the birthday dress Rarity had made. She tore a brush through her hair, washed her face, and looked in her mirror.

“You can do this, you can do this.” Twilight said to herself.

Finally, she went back down to the doorway where Big Mac was still standing.

“Thank you for waiting, Big Macintosh. I’m sorry for how I looked.” She said as she took the bouquet.

“S’all right.”

“Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely.” Twilight said as she put them in a vase.

“Would ya mind talking about what was bugging ya?”

“Yes, I would mind.” She said sharply.

Mac flinched and let it drop. Twilight sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry…”

“No, no, I shouldn’t have pried.”

“You were just concerned.”

“But still…”

The conservation turned to awkward silence, both embarrassed and unsure of where to go from there. Finally, Twilight spoke.

“So! What did you have planned for us?”

“Well, I have a little something put out for us on the farm.”

“Sounds great.”

The two took a discreet path out of town, both knowing that if anyone saw them, word would travel very fast. They eventually ended up on the fields of Sweet Apple Acres where a lavish picnic waited, filled with apple-themed foods of all kinds. Twilight and Big Mac settled down and started eating.

As Big Mac ate, he couldn’t help but think about the state Twilight had been in when he arrived at the library. He knew Twilight could get very stressed, but what he saw was more than that. She’d looked like she was on the verge of a total breakdown and he suspected those marks on her face were self-inflicted. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but he knew she most likely would avoid the question and he doubted he had the guts to ask, anyway.

“So, what’s it like being Celestia’s student?” Macintosh asked, figuring he’d start small and work his way up.

Twilight paused in mid-chew. The meeting with the elite was still fresh in her mind and she definitely did not want to open that particular wound. AS she finished chewing, she carefully chose her words.

“It’s…great! Studying under our very own princess, learning all of the greatest spells, being a bearer of one of the foundations of magic, making sure that everything you do lives up to standards that are expected of the princess’ students, dealing with snooty know-it-alls who think they know everything about what they’re doing, when they actually have a point when criticizing you, having your role in society define every part of who you are, throwing yourself into work in a vain attempt to fill a void inside you that you have no idea how to get rid of, having to deal with every little damn thing that threatens the land from sleeping dragons to evil spirits, having stuff dropped on you at the last minute and your mentor figures you’ll be ‘cool’ with it and you’re not and you want to say something but you can’t because you’re afraid you’ll step out of line and that’ll lead to all sorts of nasty repercussions and…!”

It was at this point that Twilight realized she was rambling loud enough for all of Equestria to hear her. Mac stared at her in shock, trying to process everything she’d said.

“I-I’m sorry.” Twilight stammered, turning away. “I shouldn’t have said all that.”

“Twilight,” Mac said. “Are you unhappy?”

“Huh? What? Me, unhappy? No, no I’m perfectly fine! Everything’s great!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Forget about what I said, I tend to exaggerate things.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive! I just had a bad meeting with some Canterlot elite who were thinking about investing in some of the businesses here and they brought up some very embarrassing events my friends and I were responsible for and I kind of…lost it.”

Macintosh was getting really concerned now. It was pretty clear that Twilight had some bottled up feelings that went far beyond getting occasionally stressed over her work. He was no psychologist, but keeping feelings like these inside were not healthy. Especially for a mare like Twilight.

“Twilight,” He said gently. “If anything’s wrong, you can talk to me…”

“I said nothing’s wrong! So lay off!” Twilight yelled, causing Mac to flinch.

There was a pregnant pause as Twilight turned her back to Macintosh. Mac was unsure what to do now until he noticed Twilight shuddering. He carefully inched closer and saw that she was weeping.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed. “I just get so…so…”

Mac didn’t say anything. He reached out and took her in his arms, wrapping her in a powerful tender embrace. Twilight stopped crying, marveling at his massive arms held her so carefully, wrapped around her so protectively. She slowly buried her face into his shirt, feeling his pectorals, his body heat, his heart beating. Macintosh gently ran a hand through her purple and pink hair, thinking how her hair had to be the most beautiful he’d ever seen, even better than Rarity’s. He gently held her like a little bird, her tears staining his shirt. They stayed that way long after the sun went down.

Author's Note:

Let me know if you think things are moving too fast.