A Busman's Holiday

by Parchment_Scroll

To Arms! Or Hooves! (Whatever)

A Busman's Holiday
To Arms! Or Hooves! (Whatever)
In which Deft Hoof doesn't look a gift pony (or six) in the mouth.

If someone had distilled Discord's power, pressurized it, and hit it with a Sonic Rainboom, there might have been as much chaos as those two statements had caused. Maybe. But I wouldn't bet on it.

All of us were busy shouting over each other, trying to make heads or tails of what was being said while at the same time trying to be heard. It was pandemonium, and we were building towards a full-on panic.

"What?!" I shouted. "But I thought your brother and sister-in-law took care of all the changelings in Canterlot!"

Applejack started galloping towards the door. "Ah gotta check on Apple Bloom!"

"Oh, she's fine!" Meanie piped up from the door. "I left her and her friends at Rarity's boutique! Hi, Merry!"

Behind Meanie, I saw Rarity and Fluttershy looking nervously around the library from the entrance. "Oh, dear," the yellow pegasus said softly. "I'm sorry, but did you say changelings?"

I nodded. "At least seven," I said. "There were two in Sugarcube Corner, two following Big Macintosh around, and two more outside the library earlier tonight. I have no idea where the seventh one came from, but it was bigger than the others, so I don't think it was one of those six."

Rainbow Dash scoffed. "Are you saying that seven little changelings did all that to you?" I remembered the stories I'd heard after the fact about the Ponyville Six facing off against an entire army of the unnatural things.

I shook my head. "No," I said, "it was mostly the big one."

"How big?" I could see Rainbow Dash appraising me.

"Heck," I said, "you saw it. The one that chased me into the Zap Apple orchard."

She snorted. "That lug? I could have taken him with both wings tied behind my back."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "There's no such thing as a few changelings. They always travel in swarms. Always."

"Not always," said Twilight Sparkle. "Queen Chrysalis came to Canterlot by herself. The swarm didn't show up until the day of the wedding."

"Speaking of which," I said, "I still don't know how there could possibly be changelings in Canterlot. You said you have a letter for me?"

Twilight levitated a scroll over. Silver calligraphy glinted at me from midnight blue paper. Princess Luna's official letterhead. I frowned and began reading aloud.

My Good Friend Orange Meringue Pie,

I know that Celestia and I insisted on you taking a vacation from the intrigue and adventure of your life on the streets of Canterlot, but We have dire need of your services. Your apprentice, Short Shanks, has come to Our Court in a state of severe upset, claiming that a hive of changelings have taken up residence in the building he refers to as "Lost Town."

It was a simple enough matter to put him to sleep - he has not been sleeping well since he first noticed peculiarities about his Family, the poor dear - and to use Dream Magic to verify his claims by a close examination of his memories. Though there is evidence of tampering, the untarnished memories buried beneath that evidence indicate that the situation is not only exactly as he claims, but that things may be more dire than he suspects.

Short Shanks has been shaping the Lost Colts into an information network specifically to suit your needs, and the information that the changelings have thus gotten their pocked hooves on could prove disastrous. It was for this reason, as well as to avoid interrupting your vacation, that I wanted to dispatch the Royal Guard immediately. Celestia and Shining Armor made a good case for recalling you to Canterlot, however, especially considering the reaction the Lost Colts might have to a squadron of Royal Guards entering their... "turf".

As such, the Royal Carriage has been dispatched, along with a pair of pegasus guards under the command of Shining Armor, to retrieve you and bring you back to Canterlot immediately.

Your Princess of the Night,
Luna

"What in the hay was that all about?" Applejack pushed her Stetson back with a hoof to scratch at her mane. "She made it sound like y'all're the best o' chums! And why in tarnation would anypony not want a bunch o' royal guards ta come ridin' to the rescue, especially if'n there's changelings involved?"

"Well," I said, "it's like..." I frowned. A lifetime of secrecy is a hard habit to break.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know, I know! Pick me! Pick me!" Meanie jumped up and down behind me, waving her hooves excitedly. My face and forehoof got reacquainted and spent some time commiserating. In all the excitement, I'd forgotten that Meanie had figured out my secret.

"All right, Sugarcube," Applejack said. "Ah'll bite. What's goin' on here?"

"Merry is a super-secret spy working for Princess Luna! He gets to sneak around Canterlot being all super-secret-y and sneaky, and uses his super sneaky sneaking skills to find out who's doing bad stuff and who's doing really bad stuff."

Rainbow Dash laughed. "This little guy?" she said, jerking a wing at me. "A spy?" Then she laughed harder. I felt a headache coming on.

"Oh, I haven't even told you the best part!"

My other forehoof joined the first in massaging the bridge of my muzzle. This was shaping up to be an exceptionally awkward night, changelings notwithstanding. On the other hoof, if I were desperate to keep my secret and I had to spill the beans anyway, this was exactly how I would go about doing it. Nopony could possibly believe the excited babbling of Meanie. I mean, come on.

"What's the best part?"

"The best part is that his cover is that he's really Deft Hoof!"

Applejack's look was about as blank as they come. Rainbow Dash looked like she was on the verge of comprehension - the name 'Deft Hoof' meant something to her, but she couldn't quite place it, I guessed. Rarity gasped. Celestia only knew where Fluttershy was. The moment she'd heard Changelings were involved, she'd practically vanished. And Twilight Sparkle...

Twilight Sparkle nodded, as though suddenly things were making a lot more sense to her. "The Eyes of the Moon," she said softly.

I stared at her. "Where did you hear that from? Shiny?"

She blinked, shaking her head. "Shin... oh, you mean Shining Armor?" She smiled. "No, it's a phrase from a book about Canterlot politics. I never could figure out what it meant, just that Footnote considered them to be one of the hidden powers in Canterlot. Spies for Princess Luna, though..." She frowned. "Except Princess Luna wasn't around during any of the time periods Footnote made a study of. She was still..."

"Still Nightmare Moon," I said, "banished to the moon by Celestia. While she was..." I fumbled for an adequate term. "While she was away, we reported to Celestia in her place. But she always made sure I knew in whose name I was operating, and it wasn't hers."

"And Shining Armor knew about you?"

I grinned. "You kidding? My Best Rival Forever Shining Armor? Heck, he said he was gonna write you a letter asking about part of it."

"He never mentioned anything like... Wait." She started shuffling books around. The library, I realized, was a bit of a mess. It reminded me of when Princess Celestia was preparing for a diplomatic meeting, the way she would surround herself with books and scrolls on every possible aspect of the visiting dignitaries lands and ponies. "Ah. Here it is." She floated out another letter, this one folded normally and quite clearly having been delivered by ordinary post. "The oath."

I nodded. "That oath," I said, "is one of the things protecting the Eyes of the Moon from discovery. And," I said, "I really hate to say this, but before we do anything else, I need to swear you all in."

"Who cares about that?" Rainbow Dash said, exasperated. "Changelings! In Ponyville!"

After a moment's thought, I relented. "I guess the oath can wait," I said. "But honestly, I don't know where to begin with our little bugpony problem here."

Twilight Sparkle smiled. "That's all right, Orange Meringue," she said. "I do."

* * * * *

Step one, it turned out, was to wait for the arrival of Shiny and his pegasus guard escort. I had no problems with this part of the plan. More ponies, trained ponies, meant a better chance of success.

Step two was to go over what Meanie and I knew about the changelings with a fine-toothed comb. These two steps, as it happened, took place at the same time, so that by the time Shiny and company had arrived, I had gone over my description of the two mares the changelings had impersonated no fewer than four times, answering questions like "what was the distribution of the candy pieces on the earth pony's cutie mark in relation to each other" and "exactly what shade of green was the unicorn's hide" and so on. I hadn't strained my memory this hard since my own apprenticeship, playing memory games with gemstones for my mentor.

I have an excellent memory. It's a good thing for a thief and a requirement for the Eyes of the Moon. What I lacked was a proper vocabulary to answer the questions. So all in all, it was a welcome relief when Shining Armor came trotting into the library, flanked by two pegasus guards.

"What is this, trivia night?" He grinned slightly as he made the comment, but his heart wasn't in it. He was clearly very worried about the situation in Canterlot. "C'mon, Defty, we've got to get back to Canterlot at full gallop."

"No can do, B.R.F.," I said. "We've got a situation here, too."

Shiny rolled his eyes at me. "A situation? You were sent to Ponyville specifically to keep you out of situations."

"'Defty'?" said Applejack. "Then... it's true? Mah cousin's a gol-durned thief?"

I stomped a forehoof. "Hey!" I said. "I am not a gol-durned thief. I am the gol-durned thief."

"Merry's the bestest there is!" piped up Meanie.

Shiny blinked. "I can't believe you," he said. "Did you do this just to undermine me?"

I frowned. "I don't know what you..." Then it hit me. "Oh. Oh! You mean that silly threat you made about telling Applejack what I do? You were serious?"

Shiny gritted his teeth. "Of course I was serious," he said. "I had to keep you out of trouble somehow, and since I couldn't keep an eye on you myself..."

"Boys," said Twilight. "This has all been extremely educational, and I'm sure 'Shiny' would just love to tell his little sister all about the reason he's been keeping secrets from her -- again -- but we have a bit of a crisis to deal with here."

Shiny trailed off and looked sheepish. I made a mental note to talk to Twilight about how she achieved that. Shining Armor, in my experience, never looked sheepish. And yet here he was, looking like he'd gotten caught in the Princess's bridle collection. "Yes, Twiley," he said.

"Rainbow Dash, bring my brother up to speed. Everypony else, if there's anything you think you'll need, now's the time to go home and get it."

Applejack, Meanie, and their friends all snapped off salutes and headed out the door. Rainbow Dash looked at Shiny, sighed, and said in the most bored voice imaginable, "Your little buddy here found a group of changelings here in Ponyville. We've gotta round 'em up before we can head to Canterlot."

Shiny frowned. "How many?"

"Seven," I said.

"Defty, there's no such thing as seven changelings. There are always more."

I nodded.

"That's why we've got to take care of the ones in Ponyville before we head to Canterlot," Twilight explained patiently. "We don't know how many there really are."

"You keep saying that word," I said.

"What word?"

"'We'. What makes you think you're coming with us to Canterlot?"

"Please," scoffed Rainbow Dash. "There's flank to kick, and you really think you're going to leave me behind? Rainbow Dash? The fastest flyer in Equestria? Think again, short stuff."

"Short stuff?" I glared at the bearer of the Element of Loyalty.

"He's sensitive about his size," Shining Armor explained.

"Will everypony kindly get ahold of yourselves?!"

I realized that Rainbow Dash and I had gotten right up in each other's muzzles, while Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle glared daggers at each other from across the table. We all turned to the door, where Rarity was the first of the others to return. "Goodness knows we're all quite upset by this news, but, Twilight Sparkle, you, of all ponies, should know that when we work together with Harmony between us, there is nothing that we cannot accomplish."

One of the two pegasi stomped a forehoof in appreciation. "Well said!" I blinked. I knew that voice. I took another look at the two. On the left was a bog-standard featherduster, looking down his nose at me with obvious disdain. On the right was a jovial mare with a build a lot of stallions would envy.

"Well hey," I said. "You're that mare who did such a great job passing on the message from Shiny the day before I left Canterlot!"

She grinned. "And you're the fellow Short Shanks says pinched a pinfeather from me at the same time."

Rainbow Dash stared.

"Well," I said, "I don't like to brag."

"Lies," said Shiny. "You live to brag. It's as vital to you as breathing."

"It wasn't that big a deal. I mean, she was molting at the time anyway." A movement caught my eye, and I looked over at Rainbow Dash, whose eye was twitching slightly. A slight blush was just barely coloring her cheeks. "What?"

"Oh, Orange Merangue," said Twilight Sparkle, "there's a term for removing feathers from a molting pegasus. It's called 'preening', and it's a, um... It's kind of... intimate."

Right about then, my face caught fire. At least, that's what it felt like. Dear, sweet Luna, how intimate were we talking about, here?! Rainbow Dash, true to form, fell over laughing. Again. The only thing that could possibly make the situation worse would be if...

I looked around the room. Sure enough, the others were right behind Rarity in varying states of either amusement or embarrassment. My humiliation was complete.

"Hey," said the female guard pegasus. "In his defense, I didn't feel a thing."

Rainbow Dash laughed harder. "Oh wow, and he's even bad at it!"

"Oh, hey!" I said. "Look, the girls are all back! What's step three of the plan, Twilight Sparkle, upon whom everypony's attention should currently be focused instead of upon a hapless innocent who's just trying to help everypony deal with an unexpected crisis?"

The other guard pegasus glared at me, snorting, and I realized who it was -- the useless thunderhead who'd tried to fill in for Shiny while he was away on his honeymoon. I had no idea what Shiny was thinking, bringing that lump of idiocy along for the ride. Maybe he would make good cannon fodder, I reasoned.

"The plan's simple. Lyra and Bon Bon live in a nice little two-story cottage on the edge of town. That's bound to be where the changelings have set up their hive in Ponyville. Shining Armor, you and the pegasi take Rainbow Dash with you and storm the top floor with the carriage. Try to make as much noise as possible. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and I will take the ground floor."

"Wait," I said. "What about me and Fluttershy?"

"The real Lyra and Bon Bon have to be in that cottage somewhere. You need to sneak in and find them, and find a way to sneak them out without alerting the changelings. Fluttershy, you go get Nurse Redheart and Doctor Helpinghoof. We don't know that Lyra and Bon Bon are alone in there, there might be other ponies trapped in the hive, and we may need every hoof we can to help them out."

Fluttershy nodded.

I whistled. "That," I said, "is one beauty of a plan. Simple, effective, covers all the bases."

Shiny grinned. "That's my L.S.B.F.F. for you!"

Twilight blushed, then shook her head. "Are we ready?"

"Just about," I said. I narrowed my eyes at the two pegasus guards. "Her, I get," I said, nodding at the mare. "She's capable and adapts to changing situations easily." I jabbed a hoof at the other one. "What in the hay is he doing here?"

"The Princesses thought he could use a reminder," Shining Armor explained.

"A reminder of...?"

"Just what it is you do that's so important to them."

I frowned, then trotted over to the guard in question. "We're not going to have any problems, are we?"

He snorted. "Princess Celestia orders me to work with a low-life," he said in a low growl, "I work with a low-life. Don't mean I gotta like it, but I'll do my job."

I rolled my eyes. "Pal," I said, "if you could do your job, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You just stick to the plan, all right?"

"Don't tell me how to do my job, thief."

"Hay!" snapped an unexpected voice. "That's mah cousin yer mouthin' off to!"

I stared at Applejack. "Um. Thanks?"

"Shucks," she said. "'Tain't nothin'. Now let's get this here wagon train a-rollin'!" I swear, she ramps up the "country bumpkin" act for strangers. I'm sure of it. Hell, she might be more like me than I'd given her credit for.

* * * * *

The plan went off exactly as, well, planned. The only hitch was just how unexpectedly expected everything was, if that makes sense. Lyra and Bon Bon were tied up in the cellar. The big changeling was just at the bottom of the cellar stairs, either still unconscious from his earlier introduction to the magic of Zap Apple trees, or just resting up from the encounter. There were no other ponies. I got the two drained mares untied and out of there, right under his blissfully unconscious muzzle, took them over to Fluttershy and the two medical ponies, then galloped back to the cottage in the hopes of getting in on the action while the getting was good.

I was too late. There were, as it turned out, a total of exactly seven changelings in that cottage.

"It doesn't add up," I said. "There were seven? There are never seven changelings."

"Piece of cake!" Rainbow Dash said, backstroking through the air with a nonchalant wave of a hoof. "I coulda taken 'em myself."

"How were there only seven?" I frowned, sitting down and thinking as hard as I could. "They don't have a queen with them, so it couldn't have been a new hive. So how could there have been only seven?"

"Oh, how ghastly!"

I dashed over to where Rarity was in the kitchen, ready to come to her rescue. As it happened, all she needed rescuing from was a picture. Of her.

"How dare they take a picture of me from that angle!" The fashionista was incensed. "Don't they know how to pick a pony's good side?"

I looked around the kitchen. Every surface was covered with pictures. Rarity. Meanie. Rainbow Dash. Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy. Applejack. Big MacIntosh. Every concievable angle was covered, and every one of their activities was documented. "Dear sweet Luna," I said. "That's why only seven."

The others had rushed to Rarity's aid as quickly as I had, and were staring at the walls in dawning horror. It's one thing to know that changelings can take the form of any pony they choose. It's another entirely to realize they've chosen you.

"Idiots," I said. "They're absolute idiots."

"What do you mean?" said a clearly disturbed Twilight Sparkle. "They've documented everything here. Look, they've got a scroll as long as Celestia's mane on my relationship with Princess Cadence! That's what tripped Queen Chrysalis up."

"And if they'd just waited until I got back to Canterlot," I said, "everything would have gone according to plan and you six -- and Big Macintosh -- would have been replaced by changeling doppelgangers, and nopony would have been the wiser."

"So what happened?"

I grinned. "They panicked. Amateur mistake. Rather than wait for the heat to die down, the moment the situation strayed outside what they expected, they tried to force it. They overplayed their hoof when they tried to take me out earlier tonight. All they had to do was wait, but like any amateur, they were no good at it."

Shining Armor gave a long, low whistle. "This could have been a disaster," he said. "Without Twily, Cadance would never have gotten free... Queen Chrysalis would have conquered Equestria. So these seven set out to remove the most dangerous obstacle they could think of: the bearers of the Elements of Harmony."

"I don't think so, Shining Armor," said Twilight. "Like you and Orange Meringue here said earlier, there are never just seven changelings. There's a hive somewhere, and these seven were just taking orders from higher up."

"Yeah," I said, "but from wher..." I felt a cold rock form in the pit of my stomach. Of course.

"We need to get to Canterlot now," Shining Armor said.

"No," I said. "We need intelligence. And I don't just mean your sister's fantastic brain. If we're right, the main hive won't make a move until they hear back from these seven. We need to take advantage of that delay and get every bit of intel we can out of them."

"Point," said Shining Armor. "Twilight, we need to get word to the Princesses. How fast can you get back to Spike and write a letter?"

Rainbow Dash grinned. "If you need speed," she said, "you're talking to the wrong pony." With that, she snapped off a salute at Shiny, nodded once to me, and zipped off towards the library in a rainbow-colored blur.

* * * * *

The barn, with a magical assist from Shiny and his sister, made a handy holding cell for the changelings. Interrogating the creatures was trickier than I'd expected. I was sure that the changeling who'd been posing as Lyra would let something slip, but it was remarkably tight-lipped.

All seven of the changelings were. Either they were disciplined or terrified. Really, with changelings, who could say? They're not ponies. Intelligent, yes. Self-aware? Definitely. Similar to ponies in many ways, in fact. But they are not ponies, and Shiny, the two pegasus Royal Guards, and I were all coming up blank.

There was a quiet sound beside me. It took me a moment to realize that it was a very quiet, very soft voice trying to get my attention.

"Um... excuse me."

I turned to face the voice and found myself face-to-mane with former fashion model and all-around-nicest-pony-in-Equestria Fluttershy. "Yes, Fluttershy?"

"Um... I'd..." The rest of the sentence was nigh inaudible.

"What was that?"

"I said I'd like..." Again, the sentence devolved into soft, high pitch squeaks.

"Come again?"

"She said she'd like to try," Twilight Sparkle interpreted. "You'll have to excuse Fluttershy. She's... well, she's shy."

I turned to Shiny. "Whaddaya think?"

He shrugged. "She couldn't do any worse than us at this point," he said. He leaned over and muttered in my ear, "Besides, I've heard stories about that mare that'd curl your mane."

I looked over at the quiet, unassuming yellow mare, who was doing her best to hide behind her pink curtain of a mane. "If you say so," I said dubiously. "You're right about one thing - she couldn't possibly do worse than us."

* * * * *

Fluttershy got started trying to put the largest of the changelings at ease -- why she started with that lug, I'll never know. Perhaps she sensed something about it that the rest of us missed. I wouldn't put it past her.

Rainbow Dash had returned with Spike while we had been putting the changelings into the barn in the first place, so this seemed as good a time as any to pen that missive to Luna.

"Is it true?" the little dragon asked. "Are you really a famous thief?"

I nodded. "The word is 'infamous', by the way."

"Infamous... Isn't that the opposite of famous?"

I shook my head. "It sounds like it, but what it means is 'famous, but for a bad reason.' Thieves are infamous. The Ponyville Six are famous. Get it?"

"Got it!"

"Great! Did you bring a scroll and quill?"

"Of course I did!" Spike pulled out the requisite items and stood there with quill poised in claw, ready to...

"Um," I said, "normally I just write these myself."

"But I always take dictation! Ask anypony."

"Okay, fine," I said. "Dear Princess Luna, I got your instructions, and Shining Armor arrived right on schedule. However, something has come up here in Ponyville that requires our immediate attention. It appears the changelings you wrote me about--"

"Changelings?!"

I sighed. "Yes, Spike," I said. "They're right over there." I pointed at the force-field enclosures the changelings were in. "I'm sure Twilight will be happy to fill you in later. Right now, though..."

"Right," he said, and resumed taking dictation.

"The changelings you wrote me about," I continued, "sent a small group to Ponyville in order to neutralize--"

"Neutralize?"

I spelled the word for him. "It means to prevent them from being able to act," I explained, then continued. "...to neutralize the Ponyville Six -- Twilight Sparkle and her friends. My presence in Ponyville spooked them, so it was just a matter of luck that we were able to flush them out. We're attempting to interrogate them now, and then we'll be headed straight for Canterlot.

"Rest assured that the hive in Canterlot is unlikely to make a move until they've heard from this group, as they've determined that Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Ponyville Six are a major roadblock in the way of their plans. Tell Shorty he's done a good job, and that I'll be there soon.

"Your friend,
"Deft Hoof."

"'Your... friend... Deft... Hoof,'" Spike repeated as he wrote. I had to give the little guy credit. Most ponies can't write as fast as they can talk. Taking dictation in real time takes skill. "Is that it?" I nodded, and he rolled up the scroll, held it up, and let a stream of green fire out of his mouth that consumed the scroll, the smoke whirling up out of the barn and off towards Canterlot.

"That's pretty impressive," I said. "And that'll go straight to the Princess?"

Spike nodded. "It's how Twilight and Princess Celestia stay in touch."

"If y'all think that's impressive," Applejack said as she trotted up to us, "y'all should come take a gander at this!" She nodded towards the other end of the barn, where Fluttershy was...

Fluttershy was gently stroking the brow of the large changeling and cooing softly to him.

"It's okay," she was saying to the creature. "We understand. You're just trying to get by."

I snorted, but Shiny put a hoof over my muzzle stopping me from making any pointed comments.

"Changeling just want to fit in," the creature was saying. "Changeling not help being changeling. Just am."

"Shh shh shhh," Fluttershy soothed. "I know, it can be hard being different."

"Holy crap," I muttered as soon as Shiny put his hoof down. "She's doing it."

"Now we don't want anypony getting hurt," Fluttershy said patiently, "so we really need to know what you were doing in Ponyville."

The changeling thought about it for a moment, which was a strange thing to watch. It didn't look exactly built for thought, if you know what I mean.

"Don't know," it said after a moment. "Got to do with harmonica elephants."

I looked at Shiny. "'Harmonica elephants'?" I mouthed. He shrugged.

Twilight looked like she had an idea, and whispered something into Fluttershy's ear.

"Oh," the pegasus said. "Oh! Oh, my. But what would they want with the Elements of Harmony?"

The question was rhetorical, but the changeling answered anyway. "Don't know," he said. Of course he didn't. "Changeling only pawn in game of life."

My face and hoof collided yet again.

Author's Note:

I forget who to blame for the Blazing Saddles gag at the end there. I think it was fellow New Lunar Republic member DarkAura[NLR], but I can't be sure. Anyway, if it weren't for that gag, the interrogation scene would never have happened.

Also, thanks again to Sketchy Sounds for the use of his character, Freeze Pop, and for helping me out at multiple points with this story. We're coming up on the final showdown, pones!

Comments

[DarkAura89]

What is this Horsery! Update now? Huzzah!

[Parchment_Scroll]

1923752
Yes indeed! I've been busy with work, but the holidays are over and things are getting back to normal!

[DarkAura89]

1923800

I know that busy feeling. I've been away from the chat for two weeks and getting less pony than normal. This update, good sir, was very welcome and as always had me rofl. Here's to your future updates and hoping your new year is going well so far.

Oh, and AJ's reaction: priceless

Edit: Do... do I see Mongo-esq dialogue?!?!
Best chapter yet!

[lamphobic]

O.o !!!

[Parchment_Scroll]

1923865
You do. I... was it you who suggested it? I thought it was, as I said in the notes, but it's been a couple of weeks.

1923946
I live for that look.

[DarkAura89]

1923956

Indeed. I think I put that idea into your head, then forgot it was coming. As a result, I died of laughter. Thank you for that.

[lamphobic]

1923956

Wait so does this mean that I'm not the only one who's taken an extended temporary vacation from the chat?

[DarkAura89]

1923985
Nope. I have as well (been 2 weeks for me )

To quote Monty Python though: "I'm not dead yet."

[Parchment_Scroll]

1923985
1924012
We should form a club. Except we'd never show up for meetings, so it's kind of a moot point.

[TheAssumingMage]

Awesome update!

[Parchment_Scroll]

1924148
Thanks muchly, Mage!

[Xaratos]

how I missed these updates ^_^

[Luigilewis889]

Brilliant. This is actually really humourous, and I get a sort of Terry Pratchet crossed with Douglas Adams crossed with... something else I can't quite identife vibe from this. Can't wait for more.

[Parchment_Scroll]

1924391
Don't worry, I haven't forgotten these stories.
1924465
Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying this. Pratchett and Adams are two of my absolute favorite authors. There's probably a bit of Gregory Mcdonald and Carl Hiaasen in the mix, too, given the nature of the story and main character.

[Xaratos]

I hate to tell you that I have a lot of things to do and I am not able to read that much in the next 2 months :/

I hate university :/

[Super_Big_Mac]

1924047 I can organize the club activities! Also, the Blazing Saddles reference. Mongo's awesome.

[Parchment_Scroll]

1954138
Problem? I can clarify these parts, if you like. Deft Hoof isn't exactly an expert when it comes to explaining magic.

[nemryn]

1955795
Er, what I meant was more like, the oath works because ponies are basically good; but Shorty isn't dealing with ponies here, he's making changelings swear the oath, and it might not necessarily be binding on them.

[Parchment_Scroll]

1958333
It occurred to me after posting that you might be thinking of that. There are... less unobtrusive solutions... for that sort of problem. Not violent, but not nice. It is a major cause for concern, though.

[Rokas]

Mongo Changeling is BEST Changeling.

[Parchment_Scroll]

2454670
I wish I could take credit for that. As you'll note in the above comments, it was all DarkAura's fault.