Previous Chapters Next
Close
Crash592 words
Three little phillies844 words
Making it Right1,185 words
Rainbow's can be annoying1,146 words
Fight496 words
Crule joke872 words

Fight

Sitting in the middle of a sunny clearing, Rawlings removed a rag, a piece of cloth, and small tube of oil. Removing his pistol from his holster, he removed the magazine from the gun, cleared the chamber, and proceded to clean the weapon. After disassembling the weapon until you couldn't even recognize what it originally was, he oiled the cloth, and began to scrub down each piece until he could see his reflection it.

“You seem to have a habit of running into the woods”, he heard Rainbow Dash said as he reassembled his firearm. “Hello again”, he mumbled under his breath. She was NOT his most favorite pony to be around. At least, not after the stick incident. “Did you contact your princess or whatever the hell she is?”, he asked. Rainbow was beginning to get a bit annoyed with the human's attitude. “I'll have you know, the princess deserves more respect. She's the one who brings day and night after all.”, she told him. Rawlings had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. “Brings day and night, are you serious”, he said, pretending to be shocked. Right as Rainbow Dash started to think he was beginning to understand, he continued. “That is the biggest piece of bullshit I've heard since my buddy in the war said the bloody jerry's had surrendered as soon as we declared war on them. Are all pony's this retarded?” That didn't end well for him. She bucked him right in the face. Blood shot out off his mouth, as did a few of his teeth. Spitting out blood, he glared at her. “What the hell was that for?!”, he asked, holding his hand up to his mouth to wipe away some of the blood.

“For insulting the princess and calling us pony's retarded!!!”, she yelled at him, and prepared for a fight to ensure. Standing up, Rawlings looked her in the eye, and said, “Normally, I would kill someone who did this to me, but I would NOT stoop myself down to your level. So, with all do respect, fuck you”, he said, continuing back into the woods.

“Life's sucks”, mumbled Rawlings, who sat under his signature tree. His pistol was sitting in his right hand, and he was contemplating weither or not to blow his brains out. “Might as well just end this now”, he said, placing the pistol to the side of his head. That's when he heard hoof steps. Lowering his pistol, he turned around, and saw the Rainbow pegasus. “Jesus Christ, now what do you want?”, he asked, felling really pissed off. She looked at the ground nervously. “Well, I guess I wanted to apologize about earlier...” she said, trailing off. Rawlings sighed. “Apology accepted”, he grunted. She felt relieved as soon as he spoke those words. “Just don't do it again, or their will be consequences.” And so, he did what was now becoming a very big habit. He ran into the woods.

2,466 views

Previous Chapters Next

Comments ( 9 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 9
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Elkhorse

Elkhorse #1 · Nov 17th, 2011 · · ·

Seems a tad too quickly written like my fail of a latest chapter, I'd suggest looking through it to compare.
BUT a nice premise non the less.

PS, your version of RD seems a bit too patriotic.

zombiesurvivor123

zombiesurvivor123 #2 · Nov 17th, 2011 · · ·

33627

Yeah, I did that on purpose, that way it could instigate a fight.

Lt_Voss

Lt_Voss #3 · Nov 17th, 2011 · · ·

Do you mind if I give you a few pointers? I'm in no way a professional writer (though I hope to be one), but any help is good right?

Separating parts of the conversations is good to keep away confusion. So like:

Hello, I said.
Hey, she said.

Also, don't get into a rush. You don't have to update whenever we tell you to. If writing a good story means taking longer to get it out, then take the time. I'm trying to flesh out and take my time on a fic I'm writing, and still people are telling me it's fast paced. Just write to your own constraints.

#4 · Nov 17th, 2011 · · ·

“I'll have you know, the princess deserves more respect. She's the one who brings day and night after all.”
"She's the one who brings day and night after all.”
“She's the one who brings day AND night after all.”
AREN'T YOU FORGETING SOMEPONY?!

zombiesurvivor123