• Published 4th Mar 2015
  • 3,310 Views, 75 Comments

Pulling Pranks With Ponies - Godiswithus3

A human who decides to pull pranks on his pony friends and faces the consequences for them.

  • ...

Rainbow Dash and Hot Sauce

A party was going on in Sugarcube Corner. A new pony arrived in town, so Pinkie Pie decided to throw another Welcome To Ponyville party and invited everyone to join. I personally didn't care much for these parties, but I would attend anyway. Partly because I did not want to be rude with Pinkie and the others. Friendship sometimes means sacrificing your own convenience in order to bring happiness to others. However, I'm not going to complain tonight, because my other reason is much more ulterior. Tonight will be the best opportunity to get Rainbow Dash.


When I first arrived in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie was nice enough to throw me a surprise party. The party took place in Sweet Apple Acres, where the Apple family lives. Applejack was the first one I met and although we came to an awkward start, she eventually warmed up to me and provided me a place to sleep in the barn. As a way of saying thank you, I asked if I can work in her farm and she happily agreed. During my first day at Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie happens to show up in order to give AJ the baked goodies she promised to give, and that's where she met me. She gasped and then ran away, much to my confusion and shame. I asked AJ what that was about and she said not to worry about it, so I continued working. When I was finished for the day, Applejack offered me to share a meal with her and her family. "How can I refuse," was my response, which she chuckled at. When I came inside, I experienced the surprise party Pinkie planned for me. Most of the inhabitants didn't trust me at the time, so it was only just a few ponies. This is where I met the rest of Applejack's friends: Twilight, Rarirty, Fluttershy, and finally, Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash did not seem to like me at first, she was always the judgmental mare. I couldn't really blame her, I knew I had to warm up to her first. Unfortunately, what happened next I will never forget. Twilight was talking, asking me questions when I grabbed a bottle to drink, without actually looking.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Twilight asked.

I drank the bottle before responding.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm..." I didn't finish my sentence because there was so much heat in my throat, like if someone started a forest fire in there. Smoke burst from my ears and I ran outside screaming, desperate for some water.

I found a trough full of water, stuck my head in it and sucked the water in. Thankfully it was only clean water, or I would have another to problem to contend with. Satisfied, I stuck my head out to breathe. I heard someone laughing behind me. I turned to see Rainbow Dash hovering and laughing while she was holding her belly.

"THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE WAS PRICELESS!" Rainbow yelled as she continued to laugh at my expense.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, you bastard," I groaned, not happy that someone was enjoying my misery.

In all fairness, the others did laugh too. It wouldn't have mattered later on if it wasn't for one thing. Rainbow Dash would keep bringing it up every now and then and embarrass me. It was starting to get annoying and I decided that the only way to get her to stop was to give her a taste of my misery.


Everypony was enjoying themselves at the party, dancing, eating the sweet treats, etc. I was sitting down waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. As I was eyeing my prey, I was interrupted by an energetic Pink pony, who made me jump a little.

"Hey David!," Pinkie gleefully said. "Havingfunatheparty! Huh, huh?!" She noticed something I had in my hand. "What you got there?"

"Oh, a little surprise," I said grinning. I was holding a cup that is meant for my target. I did a little research and found out that although Dashie loves spice, she can't handle a specific amount, which is more than I could handle I would add. I decided to get myself some liquid from an actual Rainbow, which I had to get from a Pegasus who owed me a favor. I was able to get one that was ten times stronger than what Dash was used to, which should give me the satisfaction I wanted. "This is for colors over there."

Pinkie was looking at who I was referring to, at the table where Dash was sitting, then she turned back to me and bounced. "ooh! ooh! ooh! Want me to go get her?" Pinkie offered.

"No," I stopped her before she took off. "It's a prank. I'm waiting for the perfect opportunity to get her."

"Oh, I can help you with that. I love pulling pranks," Pinkie said as she bounced slightly.

"All right, can you distract her while I switch the cups?"

"Yep, sure can."

"All right, lets do this."

Pinkie and I got in position. Rainbow Dash was sitting at a table, talking with her friends about her new tricks. "When I present these moves in the next Flying Competition, the Wonderbolts will definitely ask me to join. After all, who can refuse the fastest flyer in all of Equestria!" Rainbow gloated. I swear that she is one cocky bastard, one other reason I want to pull this prank.

I inconspicuously sat at a table behind Rainbow, where I can see her. I sat there waiting, pretending to mind my own business and waited for my window. The opportunity came.

"Hey Dashie!" Pinkie said, standing to RD's left. This caused the colored mare to focus her attention on the pink pony. "Enjoyingthepartyandthecake! Haveyoutriedthechocolatecake! oooh oooh oooh, I gotta show you th-" Pinkie was interrupted by Rainbow, who placed her right fore-hoof in Pinkie's mouth.

"Pinkie, slow down," Rainbow said, letting go of the mouth and grabbing her cup again. "I'm enjoying the party. I mean, your party is always great. Never a dull moment," she happily argued. "I will try your cake when I'm finished telling these ponies about my awesome techniques!" She gloated with her hoof pumping her chest.

"Ocki-Docki-Lockie!" Pinkie beamed and trotted away.

"So any way," Rainbow Dash continued as she chugs and finishes her cup. She gestures with her hooves as she speaks. "I was flying high up in the air at the highest attitude, higher than my past record by the way, and then made my descent. I was speeding up, in order to trigger the sonic rainboom when I reach the-"

"Um sugarcube, ya'll alright," Applejack worriedly asked from across the table. "Your sweatin rivers rite now."

"I'm fine," Rainbow assured, wiping out as much sweat as possible while she was panting. "I'm just...just...." She held her mouth with her hoof, sweating profusely. All of a sudden, smoke comes out of her ears and makes a train honking noise, catching everyone's attention. Then she breathed fire into the air, screaming at the top of her lungs and immediately flew upstairs to the bathroom, no doubt wanting to drink from the sink in order to cool her throat.

At that moment everypony, including myself, burst out laughing. Pinkie and I were on the ground and laughing so hard our bellies started to hurt. The plan went perfectly! For you see, as soon as Rainbow used her right hoof to shush pinkie, I switched the cups with speed and subtlety. Nopony in the table noticed except Pinkie, giving me the opportunity to humiliate Rainbow Dash.

I stood up from the floor and yelled at the upstairs, "WHO'S LAUGHING NOW RAINBOW FLAMING DASH!" I just kept on laughing, bending down and slapping my thigh. When I recovered from my satisfying laugh, I went over to Pinkie, who got back up raised her hoof in the air. We gave each other a high five, or a high hoof in her case.

"That was so funny!" Pinkie giggled. "No one is going to be able to forget that!"

"I'm counting on it," I said with so much amusement. "Now she will experience the same embarrassment as I had."

"David," AJ said, who got from the chair and stood next to Pinkie. "Ya'll should know that RD is going to get you real hard for that, right? She always seeks retribution for pranks pulled on her." A half smile was on AJ.

"Well," I shrugged. "I don't go down easily. If she wants payback, she's going to have to catch me first." I then noticed both AJ and Pinkie glancing at each other and then back at me with slight wide eyes, although Pinkie was smiling the whole time. I was about to say 'what' when something clicked in my mind, filling me with dread. "She's right behind me isn't she?"

Pinkie and AJ confirmed my suspicion with their nods. Uh Oh. Without thinking, I immediately sprinted and ran for the exit, passing by ponies who watched with both shock and amusement. I managed to get out of Sugarcube Corner and ran down the street. Unfortunately after twenty steps, I felt a smack against my back, causing me to fall face-flat on the ground. I tried to get back up, but then I felt fore-hooves pinning me down. One my left arm and another on the back of my neck. Struggled as I might, I wasn't going anywhere. Then I listened with dread as the colored pegasus whispered to my left ear.

"You know," Rainbow mischievously began. "I didn't take for you to be a prankster. That was pretty clever." I knew in this type of situation that flattery was a clear sign that I am in for it. "But now I believe it's payback time."

I began sweating in fear, not knowing what she was going to do to me.

"Before you interrupted me with that spicy taste you put in my mouth," She continued. "I was talking to my friends about the new moves I came up with, so I figured that it's time I give you a first hand experience."

At this time a lot of ponies, including Applejack and Pinkie Pie, gathered outside to see the spectacle between me and the mare planning a devious comeback. It took me a second to register Rainbow's last comment, causing me to tense up and squirm.

"Rainbow!" I panicked. "I knew that you were a cocky bastard, but I never knew crazy was part of your vocabulary!" She chuckled at my comment, with a tone that sounded like 'you should have thought better than to mess with me.' "What if you drop me?!"

Rainbow raised her head and mischievously replied, "Only one way to find out, scaredy boy!" Before I can react, she speedily wrapped her fore-hooves around my torso under my arms and then took off to the sky, climbing up the altitude at high speed.

"NONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOO!"I screamed as I was flaying my arms and suffering my new misery, which no doubt would top what I just did to her.

While I was up in the air, everyony was watching in anticipation of Rainbow's comeback against me. Pinkie jumps up and down with excitement and laughter. "DAVID IS GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN UP THERE!"

Applejack rolls her eyes at Pinkie's comment, but nonetheless has amusement in her face. "I reckon he will, if he does'n die from a heart attack." This caused everypony giggle at AJ's cruel words about me.

"I don't get it," Pinkie asked with a confused face. "Does his heart become alive and starts hitting him or something."

Everypony facehoofed.

Author's Note:

I've got a few ideas of what I want to do next, but I'm open to suggestions. Tell me what kind of pranks David should pull on the mane six or other ponies, along with the proper retribution for those pranks. Keep the suggestions rated teen and under please. You can either make the suggestions in the comments or pm me.

Hoped you enjoyed this.