• Published 4th Mar 2015
  • 2,302 Views, 73 Comments

Pulling Pranks With Ponies - Godiswithus3



A human who decides to pull pranks on his pony friends and faces the consequences for them.

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Applejack and Stink

I stayed hidden in the tree until Applejack came back to the farm and found me.

"C'mon down! Ah know ya up there!"

I hesitated at first, but I came down anyway. I kept a lookout in case Rainbow was hiding somewhere and was ready to pounce at me. "How did you know I was up there?"

She had a smirk on her face. "Ah know mah own farm inside and out. Ah'm able ta spot a trespasser in lickety split." Good thing she told me that, because now I know hiding in trees is not a good idea for my next prank. She then had a serious face. "We need ta talk David."

Not wanting to stay out in the open, I asked, "Can we do this inside your house please?"

"Fine by me."

We carried the rest our conversation inside the farm house. She scolded me for what I did to Rarity, because the fashionista took what I did personally. Rarity is cooped up in her house and has been trying to get her natural colors back with little success. I felt bad at that moment and promised that I would apologize to the white unicorn when she cools down a notch. Applejack didn't mind about Rainbow Dash's predicament though, arguing that 'the fastest flyer of Equestria' is a big mare and can handle pranks. AJ did warn me though that the vengeful pegasus will come after me one way or another, which I am not arguing. I asked Applejack if I can sleep in the living room couch, not wanting to be pounded on in the barn while I was sleeping. She didn't mind and got me some blankets and a pillow before heading up to her room to sleep. As I laid down on the couch, I contemplated on what I've done to the three ponies recently.

Pinkie pie

She never takes pranks personally. As the element of laughter, she always tries to lighten up the mood and sees many situations as a game, including pranks. No doubt she will try to get me back, but not in a cruel way. She's the least of my worries.

Rarity

By tomorrow she's most likely going to find out that I was the one who messed up her hair. I'm going to have the biggest butt chewing when I see her next time. I made a promise that I was going to eventually apologize to her, but I want to wait at least one week before I see her, hoping that she will have cooled off by then.

Rainbow Dash

I shudder at the thought. No amount of apologizing or intervention from friends is going to stop her from seeking her revenge. I would expect no less from her, but I much rather face retribution from her when she's not hot-headed. I might need to wait for two weeks before I see her again. Until then, I need to keep my eyes open on the sky.

Applejack

Applejack is the only pony I haven't been able to prank yet without getting caught. It's going to be difficult to pull it off because she already knows that she is my last target and will be expecting it. I can't trick her with my words like I did last time, and she will know if I'm hiding in a tree (though she never did say if she can detect me hiding behind a tree). There's one other major problem I need to consider. The Apple Orchards is my only safe haven from the other ponies. If I pull my last prank on Applejack, I can kiss that safe haven goodbye. That farm pony is as equally vengeful as Rainbow Dash. I would need to leave Ponyville for a specific amount of time before any of them cool down, however long that takes. Knowing the consequences my next action would lead me to, I came to one conclusion.

"I might as well quit now while I am ahead. To do otherwise would be foolish of me," I whispered. Then I made a big grin. "Unfortunately, I've always been considered a fool."

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I spent a week preparing for my last round up. During a couple of evenings, I would venture into Ponyville to purchase the necessary items for my operation. Every time I went though, I would stick to the alleys and shadows, not wanting to be spotted by the angry colorful mare. The trips may be risky, but they were necessary. In one of those trips, I went to the library to speak with Twilight and Spike about something important. The dragon and I are good pals, considering that I'm one of his rare male friends. Us guys gotta stick together. Anyway, I learned from Spike that all of the pegasi would be busy on Monday and Tuesday with their intense weather schedule. That means Rainbow Dash will not be around Ponyville during those two days, leading me to make a couple of decisions. I decided that Monday would be the day I will pull the prank on Applejack.

I purchased a ticket to be on the train heading towards Canterlot. Fortunately, I'm in good relations with a specific pony who lives there and has agreed to let me stay at his place for the two weeks. That way I can wait in a safe haven until the dangerous situation in Ponyville blows over. The only inconvenience was that the earliest ticket available was on a Tuesday evening. A minor setback though. All that was left for me to do was ask Applejack if I can have two weeks off starting Monday. When Applejack asked me why, I told her that on Monday I was going to spend the day with Spike and the next two weeks in Canterlot. I made sure not to mention my prank operation. It was a good thing that Applejack can only detect lies, not omitted facts. She was satisfied with my answer and agreed to give me the break I asked for. With everything I got for my last plot, all I needed to do now was wait for Monday.

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Monday had arrived and since it was my day off, I slept a little more than usual. I woke up around mid-morning (nine o'clock I think) and got myself ready. After I finished packing and had a light breakfast, I went outside to get my final plan started. I was carrying a book bag that contained all of the materials I bought from the previous week. I went to the barn where the family stores their fruits from the harvest. Applejack was eventually going to come here to store all the apples she collects from the field. Big Mac is busy plowing a field that is far away, Applebloom is no doubt in school while Granny Smith and Winona are in the farm house. At least they'll be busy while I have Applejack to myself, I thought.

I went behind the barn and looked inside my book bag while I waited. I was carrying two lines of chains with each line having a locking mechanism attached, five little firecrackers attached to each other, a lighter, two big rocks, and what was called a staint bomb. Think of it as a combination of a stink bomb and a paintball grenade, only its completely non-lethal and the paint will not hurt anypony when it comes into contact with them when the bomb explodes. Its only effect is making a huge mess and stinking up the place, giving me the satisfaction that my prank battle will finish with a bang. I brought two staint bombs in case one of them was a dud.

After checking everything, I closed the bag, put it on my back and waited for Applejack to show up. I thought about something that made me feel a little uneasy at the moment. I promised Applejack that the next time I pull a prank, I would leave her trees alone. I'm a man of my word and I always keep my promise. There is one loophole to the promise I can exploit. I said 'trees were off limits' and even though the apples are in the barn, they are not on the trees, so I'm not in danger of breaking that promise. Of course it is not going to make difference to Applejack, but I don't care at this moment. I will pay for the damages when I get back, now I want satisfaction.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the sound of cart wheels. "She's here, I thoughtfully grinned. I crouched and went to the side of the barn to get a better look. The farm pony was unloading her apple-filled baskets into the barn. I waited until the cart was half empty before I made my move. When she was halfway done, I went to a side window that was fifteen above me and located near the rear of the barn. I took out my chains and quietly put them around my neck. Then I held the lighter with my left hand and the fire crackers with my right. When heard clomping hooves heading to the front door way, I lighted the firecrackers and tossed them inside the barn through the window. I put the lighter in my pocket, grabbed my bag and subtly went near the corner at the side, flattening myself against the wall.

boom boom boom boob boom

"What in tarnation!"

I heard Applejack race to the rear of the barn where I threw the firecrackers at. When the coast was clear, I went and closed both of the barn doors as quickly as possible.

"HEY, WHO'S THERE?!"

As soon as I closed the door, I took out my chains from my neck, wrapped them around the door handles, and locked them in place. I ran to the cart and turned it around so that the rear is facing the door, at the same time Applejack had reach the door and tried to bust through.

"HEY! OPEN THIS DOOR!"

I immediately pushed the cart up against the door, but Applejack bucked the door and caused me stumble back. I quickly recovered, took out the rocks from my bag, and placed them against the cart wheels. AJ bucked again, but the effects were less forceful this time. Just to be sure, I kicked the rocks into the wheels so that they could hold firm. As the cowpony continued to buck the door, I went to the side again with my bag, under a side window that was closer to the front.

"Hey Applejack!" I yelled as I took the staint bombs.

"David! What in the hay are ya doing locking me up in my barn?! OPEN THE DOOR THIS INSTANT OR YA'LL BE SORRY! " She continued bucking.

"I just wanted to give you a parting gift before I left," I yelled with a smile. "I will see you in two weeks, after you take GOOD shower!" I laughed, pulled the pins and tossed the bombs into the barn through the window.

"What ya just throw?!"

I grabbed my bag and started running.

BOOM! BOOM!

I picked up the pace, not wanting to stick around.

"DANGNABBIT DAVID! AH'M GONNA KILL YA!"

"YOU'LL GONNA HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!" I taunted as I continued to run.

One may advise me that it's never a good idea to taunt your opponents further than is necessary, to not kick them while they are on the ground in a fight, to quit while you are ahead. Otherwise, you are just adding fuel to the fire and it will come back to burn you. However, there's one thing you need to know about me: I am a masochist. I enjoy pissing people off, or ponies in this case. And I enjoy the thrills of being chased at. It's dangerous, but still fun and I wouldn't have it any other way. Doesn't mean I'm going to play fair and not give myself a running start. These ponies can run faster than me, they can fly, AND they can use magic. That is why I'm going to create as much distance as possible from Applejack before she eventually escapes the barn I trapped her in. I can only laugh at the thought of Applejack being coated with paint and stinking real good.

As I neared the town and reflected on my successful pranks, I've set my eyes on one more thing I must do.

"It's time to get the hell out of dodge," I commented and smiled. "or out of Ponyville in this case."

Author's Note:

Whew. Now that I got those chapters out of the way, I'm going to take my time with my next one, hoping that it becomes my master peace. This may take long, so be patient. Stay tuned.

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