• Published 4th Mar 2015
  • 2,294 Views, 73 Comments

Pulling Pranks With Ponies - Godiswithus3



A human who decides to pull pranks on his pony friends and faces the consequences for them.

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Pinkie and Bombs

While I do feel bad that Rainbow Dash got the blame for my last prank, I don't have the stomach to confess. To do so would lead me to the biggest butt whupping and I'm not prepared to face that. Nopony needs to know and I'm going to keep it that way

The next pony I'm targeting is the biggest prankster of them all: Pinkie Pie. As much as I wanted to do something drastic, I wanted to keep it simple and I found just the right prank, one that will bring me the satisfaction I want. All I needed to do was wait for Pinkie's next party.

I was in Sugarcube Corner, casually walking around and minding my own business. I spotted my pink prey, who was enjoying the sweets after serving everyone else their first and second helpings. She always volunteers to be the "garbage disposal" when everyone else is satisfied. That pony can eat two meals of sweets and still want more. Jeez, I thought. I'm waiting for my open window so that I can execute my plan, as my hand feels for something I have in my pocket, which is vital to my plot.

My opportunity came when Twilight came to talk to Pinkie and got her attention. Not caring about what they were saying, I immediately got to work. I looked around to make sure nopony was watching while I took out a small brown plastic bag from my pocket. I went to a corner of the table away from Pinkie and opened my bag. I poured what looked like small chocolate chips into five of the cupcakes, emptying the contents out of my bag. When I was finished I crumbled the bag in my hand, put it back in my pocket, and walked away while I kept my eye on Pinkie and Twilight. As I walked, I accidentally bumped into somepony.

"OMF!"

I stumbled and fell back on my butt. I stood back up to see who I bumped into. "Oh, sorry AJ." I apologized as I rubbed the back of my head.

"S'Alright David," she straightened her stetson hat and then looked at me, which I recognized were interrogating eyes. "What were ya doin over there at the table?"

Knowing that I can't lie to her successfully, I decided to let her in on my secret. I leaned over to her ear and whispered. "Just watch what happens."

Applejack narrowed her eyes at me but then soften with a grin. "Al'right." I went with her to a table and we both sat down enjoying each other's company, while I kept glancing at Pinkie. To my relief, Pinkie finished talking with Twilight and went back to munching on the sweets. When she finished eating all of the dairy products, including the cupcakes I tainted, she licked around her mouth and gave a satisfying sigh.

"That was deeeelicious! Nothing is better than eating sweets, well, except eating sweets with your friends. That is more fun and enjoyable!" Pinkie exclaimed as she bounced. She eventually came to greet AJ and I. "How you two doing? Enjoying the party? I always try to make my parties better than the last!"

"Ah'm doing well Pinkie. Always enjoying yer party," Applejack glanced at me and then back at Pinkie with a smirk. "How ya feelin?"

Pinkie continued to bounce as she spoke. "Oh, I'm feeling great! I haven't had this much fun since, well, since this afternoon. I always-" She stopped mid-sentence and suddenly grabbed her stomach, wincing at the pain she was feeling. "ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh OOOOOOOOOOOH!" She bolted and went straight to the bathroom upstairs, leaving a pink trail. Jeez that pink mare is fast. I wonder if she can beat RD in a race?

Everypony started cracking up at what they just saw. I laughed and pounded on a table, enjoying another victory against a pony. And they say that humans suck.

After we recovered from our laughter, Applejack looked at me with a smug and asked, "Did ya had something to do with what happened ta Pinkie?"

"Oh yes," I triumphantly replied, as I pulled out the bag from my pocket and showed it to the cowpony. It was a laxative disguised as chocolate chips. That stuff works every time!

Applejack looked at what I showed her and shook her head with a half smile. "That there was cruel David."

"Hey, I'm sure Pinkie will find this funny, after she finishes dropping bombs in the ocean." I started laughing at my own joke. Applejack just shook her head and snickered at my last comment.

I spent the next thirty minutes chatting with Applejack about various things. She may be my friend, but I'm still going to prank her. She is my last target after all. I got thirsty all of sudden and needed to quench it.

"I'll be right back," I said as I stood up. "I'm going get a drink from the back"

"Al'right David, Ah'll be waitin."

I walked to the room in the back where I found a cooler. I opened it and picked up a soda. With a smile on my face, I walked back to join the party. Before I got back to the main room, I saw Pinkie Pie wobbling downstairs towards Applejack. I decided to hang back and eavesdrop on their conversation. Hey, don't complain about me eavesdropping. It's a vice I have, so get over it. I stayed hidden as I listened intently, which was not hard for me to do because many of the guests had already left by this time.

"Ya al'right sugarcube? Ya took a long time up there."

"Yeah," Pinkie said as she sat down next to AJ. "I don't know what happened."

"David put a laxative in one of them cupcakes before ya eat them."

"Oooooh," the pink mare giggled. "He got me real good, just like he got rarity."

Did I just hear Pinkie right?

"Beg ya pardon?" AJ asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm talking about the prank he pulled on Rarity silly," Pinkie excitedly said.

How the hell does she know that?!

"Ya mean the one wit the rainbow hair? What makes ya think it was him?" A very good question.

"I talked to a unicorn who said that she helped David with some kind of spell that changed Rarity's hair into rainbow. She said she was sooooo happy to help David with his prank."

"Is that so?" Applejack asked with a serious face.

You have got to be kidding me! That idiotic unicorn spilled the beans to Pinkie, TO PINKIE OF ALL PONIES! Why the hell would she do that?! I made a mental note to tell my future partners in crime to never repeat such similar mistakes in my next pranks.

"Hey, what's up?"

My thoughts were interrupted and looked in horror. Rainbow Dash was approaching Pinkie Pie and Applejack.

Oh crap, I gotta bail! I was in a tight spot. I couldn't exit through the front for obvious reasons and there was no back door in the room I was in. The window! I remembered there was a window in the room where I got the cooler from. Not wasting time, I quickly moved and went to the window. Good, I can open this quickly and quietly. And I can fit through, too. I opened the window and slipped out. I exited to some back alley. As I closed the window, I flinched at the words coming from an angry colorful mare echoing out of Sugarcube Corner.

"WHAT! HE WAS THE ONE WHO MESSED UP RARITY'S HAIR AND GOT ME BLAMED FOR IT?! WHERE IS HE NOW?!"

I immediately ran away from Sugarcube Corner, scared out of my mind right now.

My goose is cooked now!

---------------------------------------------------

I'm so glad it was night time when I ran. It was easier to stick to the shadows and alleyways as I quickly got out of town. I also made sure that I stayed away from the main road, knowing I will be easily spotted, and I eventually made it back to Sweet Apple Acres. I slowed to a jog, wanting to catch my breath a little while I kept moving. The barn i was sleeping in came into view and I wanted to do nothing else but crash. I immediately stopped and realized my mistake.

David, you idiot! Rainbow Dash knows where you live! Before I could do anything else, I heard a swooshing sound. "Oh crap!" I harshly whispered, as I ran into the nearest tree and climbed up inside to hide. Just in time too, because I started noticing trails of rainbow all around the orchard acres. Whenever RD passed through the tree I was hiding in, I felt strong vibrations all around me. I really hate to admit this, but she is scaring me now. I noticed that Dash finished her sweep by entering the barn I was sleeping in through one of the windows. I am so glad I did not go in there.

Rainbow Dash flew out of the barn and hovered somewhere in the air. I couldn't see her, but I started sweating at the sound of her threat.

"You can't hide from Rainbow Dash forever. I will find you and when I do, your own mother will not recognize you when I'm through with you." On that note, I heard the sound of her wings flapping away.

I did not want to leave the tree at all. Rainbow Dash was not the kind to spew out idle threats. She must really be pissed for what I did to her. Until Rainbow Dash cools down, I am not setting foot in Ponyville, or anywhere out of the Apple Orchards for that matter. As I sat and relaxed in the tree, I meditated on the pranks I have pulled.

I only have one more pony to prank. I smiled softly.

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