While I'm tentative, dood. I'll just hope that this ship sails the right way, dood.... or better yet... MY right way/.

Scootalight ships

YES! YES YES YES YES YES!

the only thing i have to critique about this story so far is that even though we're supposed to have been reading from scootaloos point of view, it didn't feel like scootaloos thoughts. it read like we were seeing from twilights point of view, with all the technical and grown up way things were put together. like, this part here:

As the bath reached the preferred depth for Scootaloo, she turned off the taps and tested the waters. She could smell something in the water. Apparently, it had been magically imbued with a special soap that was designed to wash away germs and bacteria. She remembered Sweetie belle talking about it and how Rarity would praise the Spa for such a thing. It also meant that she'd have no need to physically wash her body, a task she didn't mind until it came to her wings. Like all Pegasi, her wings were sensitive, and she hated treading lightly around them, especially since they were so useless.

how would she. a filly, come to such an accurate conclusion? even with twilight time bolstering her knowledge, i can't see her being able to come to that conclusion without help. not that i'll stop reading if you decide that the story doesn't need to change. i just figured i'd put my thoughts out there for you to consider.

This is awesome.

5681489 I know what you mean, i couldn't really tell it was scootaloo, She sounded way to mature, and well... intelligent.

5682025 mature is expected, with her having to care for herself more than normal kids due to being an orphan. it was the intelligence that threw me. and like i said, i won't stop reading if they decide not to change it.

Her voice betrays it's

Since this is possessive, it should be its. No apostrophe. It's is a contraction of it is.

It was approaching Nightfall

Nightfall shouldn't be capitalized.

5682375
5681489
5682025

Alright, I've done a bit of dumbing down for her. But you must realise that thoughts often tend to show more intelligence than spoken words. After all, words alone do not make the thought. I was describing the scene from my perspective. If it was from Scootaloo's, I would have italicised it.

5682491

But you must realise that thoughts often tend to show more intelligence than spoken words

Yeah i get that, but actions speak louder than both. And given any past instances showing scootaloo doing well... anything, Pretty much shows that she is just you're average foolhardy ignorant little foal. Perhaps not exactly Stupid, but nowhere near the level of eloquent thinker.

5682637 True, but again, this was described from a third-person POV. Had they been Scootaloo's direct thoughts, I would have italicised them.

5682700 I see, but allow me to respond in the following way.
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-2764355-1-448580__safe_solo_animated_scootaloo_exploitable%20meme_meme_forced%20meme_gif_chickun_piano.gif

5682728 To which my response is:

5682805 cdn.makeagif.com/media/3-01-2015/lU2YBA.gif

5682839 Is that canon?

EDIT: Nevermind, I remember what that's from now.

5682846 No silly, that's Derpy. She doesn't even look like a cannon.

5682849 look at the word again. notice there are only two 'n's.

5682854 The World needs more Derpy.

5682862 new1.fjcdn.com/comments/Damn+tumblr+source+anyway+i+m+fairly+certain+this+is+the+_da8375a3279c1844adbaa8ea96cc1357.png

5682876

5682881 I love those vids.

5682888 Okie Dokie, im'a stop filling up story chat with random stuffs.

5682895 Thanks, I'm trying to get Chapter 2 going right now.lol

5682896 img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120625121056/mlp/images/a/a8/FANMADE_Pinkie_Pie_%22excellent%22.jpg
Last one i swear.

So far so good. I hadn't considered Scootalight before but then I've learned that ships that seem odd can work out beautifully if you give them a chance. As for Foalcon, eh, love is love. If both are willing and such who am I to judge. Plus Equestria doesn't necessarily have the same laws regarding sex and age as the human world (though given the intro's "If anyone found out I'd be ruined" thing I guess they will in this story).

Awesome sauce. I love the idea of Scootalight/Sparkloo.

I am appreciative that this appears to be more likely to be erotica than clop. (Erotica would be a well written fic that happens to have sex in it, while clop is for the sex.) I am definitely looking forward to seeing more of this story.

We need more. Scootalight!!! I already love it.

5684208 I'm doing the second chapter as I write this.

5684302 Yay!

Almost every instance of "princess" in this story needs to be capitalized. Also, Scootaloo's speech is too wordy. She accuses Sweetie of being a dictionary, using words like geologist and philanthropist suddenly is just too much for someone that young and disinterested in learning the finer points of language.

There are some choices, word choices, scene choices, dialogue choices, punctuation and etc. that smack of newness, but that will settle with time and criticism.

The world needs more x Scoots. Love what I've read so far!

A lack of scootalight... I felt the same way about Lunabelle(Luna x Sweetie), so I wrote one... not my crowning achievement.

I agree. There should be a lot more Scootalight. It sounds interesting and very fun to write. Is it?

Wow, absolutely love this story so far. Really enjoy all you're ideas and head canon. Loved the Pony Hawk part and appreciate keeping Scoota!oo as an orphan, its far more interesting. The only part I question is the time duration of only a year. That seems really short.. Anyway awesome so far, really looking forward to the.

6457118 I chose to only have the one year because up until recently, the time-frame between the series was up for debate. After all, there are four seasons between the two current Nightmare Night episodes. Taking that into account, I could probably alter it to two or maybe three years, but for the sake of the story, I want to keep the fillies as young as possible (god, I feel like a text-based pedophile).

Her voice betrays it's limits

its

Thanks for introducing me to scootalight I've rad this story(all 3 chapters) 5 times now in hopes you would write another chapter, but I've also enjoyed reading what's there. Ever since I found this story, I've been obsessed with the need for more. but you're right. I haven't found anything either. If you do, eventually get to that other chapter, just know, you're reliability, or lack thereof is the main reason i don't follow you or recommend you. Not to be rude, of course.