• Published 12th Feb 2015
  • 7,987 Views, 162 Comments

A Farmers Tools - Imperium Bedlam



After spending a few thousand years in stone, one particular Displaced, in the form of Malthael, just wants to enjoy the simple things in life.

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The Plough

"...Pardon?"

It had taken Applejack considerably longer than she'd thought to swap her flabbergasted expression for a more questioning one. She could tell he was being honest, but maybe she hadn't heard him right? "Could ya try sayin' that one more time, ah don't think ah heard you right, Mister...?"

"My name is Malthael," he punctuated this by standing up tall, his hood tilted down towards her so she could easily stare into the emptiness, "and I would very much like to work here."

So, she hadn't misheard him. She nervously chuckled as she stepped backwards a few steps. "Heheheh, just a moment. I'll be right back." The door slammed loudly and she ran back inside, almost visibly sweating as she came to the dining table and pointed a hoof at Big Mac. "Right Mac, we got ourselves a... guest outside, you keep an eye on 'im and I'll see what Twilight can make o' this."

Big Mac was just finishing off his home-style apple pie as he sent a curious glance to his sister. He decided to just see what was wrong instead of asking her about it and gave a slight nod as he finished his pie, casually walking past her and to the door. Applebloom had decided on asking AJ directly, even as AJ was just about to head out. "What's wrong sis?"

Applejack thought over her options carefully. "Don't worry 'bout it none Bloom, you just head on upstairs and get to bed alright?" Applebloom visibly deflated as she 'Aww'd' and made her way to her bedroom, silently deciding to investigate once Applejack was out of the house.

"Atta girl Bloom, ah should be back soon so don't fret about it." She gave the sleeping Granny Smith a quick nod before rushing back out the front, hurriedly explaining to Malthael as she passed him and a rather shocked Big mac on her way out. "Ah'll be back in a few, don't you go anywhere now y'hear?"

Malthael seemed to nod and she shared a quick look with her brother before heading out to Twilight's Library. Although Bic Mac's expression hadn't visibly changed, she could tell he was pretty put off by this. What was this anyhow? No matter how she thought on it none of this made any sense!

"Oh well, Twi should have an answer fer this."


Meanwhile, silenced reigned over the farm as the angel of death waited patiently. "I don't suppose I'm the reason she ran off like that?"

Big Mac was pretty hesitant to answer, and the multiple voices thing really put him on edge, but he couldn't deny the... thing an answer. "....Eeyup."

"Oh, well I'm sorry if I've bothered your family at all. I only wanted a job."

He was too polite for his appearance, which, even though it eased Big Mac's concerns slightly, the cold feeling of death and despair coming off of the thing kept him wary. Wait, job? "...what?..."

Another few moments of silence between the two, only broken as they both heard a scream coming from above. At once they looked up to see a frightened Applebloom as she tried to hide her head behind the windowsill.


"No Pinkie, we are not releasing Discord just to make an annual 'Chocolate Rain Day' each year. You know what he'll do."Twilight barely looked at her friend as she put each book into its proper place. Apparently Discord had left her a little parting gift.

"Pleeease Twilight?"

"No Pinkie!"

Pinkie's ears folded back slightly and she made her way back out, sighing sadly until she noticed Applejack running towards the library. Her characteristic smile returned as she waved to he friend. "Hey AJ, what's got you in such a-

"No time for chattin' Pinks, this is urgent!" And with that the library door slammed shut behind her.

"Well that was rude, I wonder what's got her apples in a bunch. Ooh that's a good one." She took a notepad and pencil out of her mane and quickly wrote her joke down before putting it back. How she managed to do this, I have no clue. After that she donned a ninja mask and snuck around the tree house before her head poked out of some of he leaves and looked in through the window.

Now Pinkie wasn't very good at reading lips, or listening for that matter, she could make out a few words as Twilight seemingly went through a small array of emotions before putting on a serious expression, nodded, and teleported them both away. Pinkie hm'd as she thought, a hoof to her chin as she tried to get to the bottom of this new mystery.

She casually took the bubble pipe out of her mouth and tapped it to her noggin' as she pondered aloud. "Woke, big guy, weird, job, Big Mac, watch. Hmmmmm. It would take a genius to figure out how these words go together. And I don't like to brag Doctor Branch, but I've already to the bottom of it."

Somehow as the wind went through the leaves it almost sounded as though the branch gave an exasperated sigh. "Oh don't be so downtrodden Doctor, maybe someday you'll learn a thing or two, moving forward though...." Pinkie gave a loud gasp as she looked to float a few feet in the air before her afterimage slowly began to fade.

One could faintly hear the words "New pony." in the far distance if they listened close enough. Or were right next to her like poor Roseluck who's poor ears never saw it coming. Because they were ears, and ears can't see.


A bright purple flash lit up the path to Applejack's home as both Twilight and AJ herself appeared, only a few feet from the door. "And you're sure he was telling the truth AJ?"

Applejack nodded as she looked to the door. "A hundred percent Twi, even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was bein' honest."

"Well alright then, I'd hardly be your friend if I didn't trust you on this AJ... wait, didn't you tell me Big Mac was keeping an eye on him by the door?"

Sure enough, the front door was closed and there wasn't any sign of Mac or Malthael. Suddenly the front door had become a lot more ominous as the sun finally set. "Honest or not, he better not have lain a hoof on mah fami-" She'd been cut off as the two of them heard a scream coming from inside, undoubtedly Appleblooms.

At once the two of them charged inside, AJ slamming the door loudly as the scream continued until they heard a slam, the evil sound of Malthael's quiet laughter coming soon after. They had assumed the worst, but they certainly weren't expecting the sheer dismay and confusion that came with what they saw.

"Ah can't believe you beat me again, this is totally unfair!." Applebloom threw her hooves into the air as Malthael continued to laugh, Big Mac watching silently though the barest hint of a grin could be seen. "Stop yer laughing! Big Mac's got one o' the best poker faces in Equestria an' ah can't even see yours under that hood!"

"Then don't look at my face, simply discern my motives through my actions." Said Malthael calmly as he re-shuffled the deck.

One loud thump could be heard and the three of them looked towards the two ponies awkwardly standing in the doorway. Well, one pony standing with her mouth open as the other laid on the ground unconscious.

"What in Equestria..."

Author's Note:

Why is this popular? Can not compute.

In fact I've been so confused as to why this became popular that it's taken me a while to get my bearings straight since I have no idea what you people expect. As such I shall be making this story as originally intended.

I'll also be going on a trip for a few days so I wanted to get this out before then and sorry that it's a bit short, I've been getting pretty sick lately.

Oh and I have this annoying thing where I keep typing Malthael as Malitheus so if ya notice that could ya please point it out? Cheers.