• Published 12th Feb 2015
  • 7,966 Views, 162 Comments

A Farmers Tools - Imperium Bedlam



After spending a few thousand years in stone, one particular Displaced, in the form of Malthael, just wants to enjoy the simple things in life.

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The Hoe

What's this? The chapter is written in.... first person?! Jimmy, play the dramatic sound effect!
Sorry sir, that's not in the budget.
Dammit, wait, we have a budget? Whatever. Enjoy the story chaps and chapettes.

"Is she going to be alright?" Apparently Big Mac, Applebloom and myself had been so engrossed in our game that we hadn't noticed as the orange one of the family had come back with her friend. Of course that hadn't stopped me from getting a quick peek at Mac's cards when he got up to help his sister out.

No answer huh? Maybe this new pony had fainted while standing up with her eyes open. I suppose it wouldn't have been polite to just sit there, so I got up and walked over to her. My wings twitched a bit as they grazed the ceiling and I leaned forward to poke the purple one's muzzle. "Hello? Is anyone in there?"

After scrunching her face up a bit and rubbing her muzzle she took a few moments to breathe calmly and compose herself. "Alright, you and I are going to have a talk upstairs..."

"Malthael, though you are free to call me what you wish." At least she had been polite. I gave Macintosh a nod as we passed him and his sister on our way upstairs, he was trying to drag her onto the couch but without hooves he wasn't getting very far. "Just a moment." I held a finger up to Twilight before carefully lifting Applejack and placing her onto the couch. She shivered with the contact but I suppose that was natural.

The orange ones siblings gave a quick 'Thanks' in unison that I brushed off before following the purple one upstairs. "Right, well I don't think AJ will mind us using her room for now. I'm sure Big Mac will take good care of her until we're done." She practically oozed skepticism, though that was to be expected. I merely nodded while following her in and having a seat.

It wasn't that I hated talking, I just disliked the sound of my voices. Naturally channeling the power of death through me had apparently brought with it the voices of those in the afterlife, meaning my true voice lay somewhere buried beneath them all. "I don't believe you've given me your name."

She seemed a bit taken aback, composing herself as she took a seat on the edge of the orange ones bed. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia and the Element of Magic. Now, onto questions." She'd adopted a slightly mischievous look but it didn't faze me too much.

"Rather proud of your titles, aren't you?" No one likes being reminded of their boasting, least of all this one. She looked a bit sheepish, wriggling on the bed and chuckling to herself.

"Sorry, after what my friends and I went through a few days ago with Discord I can't help but feel proud of us." Twilight smiled gently to me as I continued to stare at her. Does it still count as staring if you have no eyes? I suppose it should anyway.

"Very well, then I suppose you want to hear mine?" She nodded enthusiastically, levitating around a notepad and a quill. I gave a quick sigh before deciding I may as well, there was no point in hiding who I was, my appearance gave it away for the most part. "I am known as Malthael, former Archangel of Wisdom, Current Angel of Death, the Reaper of Souls and bringer of everlasting torment."

She hadn't been expecting that apparently. There was a distinct silence as her quill stopped moving along her notepad and she looked a bit more fearful. I just shook my head before continuing. "All of those titles are meaningless however, as I now wish to live a simple life. Away from the eyes of the world and with those I may learn to care for."

"Uhh. Well, okay then." She gingerly put the notepad away... somewhere, before continuing. "How do I know this isn't some trick so you can.. reap the soul of my friend?" She had gulped rather loudly and I deflated slightly as I reflected on my imprisonment, naught but the souls of the dead my company.

"I assume in the near future your mentor will either write you a letter, or be telling you of me herself. Whether or not she tells you my misdeeds is up to her. However, in all my time locked in stone the only ones I could freely communicate with were the dead. Including the ones I had killed with my own hands."

I looked down at my hands, the weight of my sickles becoming apparent on my back as I went on. "I remained silent for many years as they taunted and screamed at me in anger. Time drove me to answer them, and time compelled me to tell them of why I had ended their lives. At first they didn't care for my words, but time had calmed even them. It was time that had drawn us closer together, and the very barrier between us was responsible for my inability to get rid of them in the first place."

Twilight had listened eagerly as I went on, eyes widening at the possibility of an afterlife anchored to Equestria. The possibilities had been rather large. "Obviously, there were other souls. Those destined to die without my intervention. They shared their stories before moving on to who knows where. One day, about four years ago, a couple had come by. They told me of their lives and the family they had left behind."

She was apparently piecing it together while I simply sat motionless. "Those ponies... were they?"

I just sat there and kept on. "Their life had sounded so peaceful, surrounded by loved ones and doing what they loved. So I told them, 'Should I be freed, am I welcome to a life on your farm?'" Chuckling, I ignored the slight creak of the door. Without a head to speak of, I was unable to cry, but I wish that I could. "They were such nice ponies, few had ever truly spoken with me. And fewer still hadn't feared me. Yet they were so welcoming. The mare had looked me straight in the eye and said 'So long as you put in a hard days work and protect mah family, then you got yourself a deal mister.'"

I had spoken with that mares voice, though I couldn't really help it. It was apparently a natural thing for me, especially since I still had that couples image fresh in my mind, I had met many Apples before then, but these two had treated me like one of their own. Something I hadn't had since I first came to this world.

Twilight was a bit shocked as I talked in the mares voice, but she became more-so when she looked over my shoulder and saw her friend standing in the doorway, traces of wetness on her muzzle as she gave me a stern look. "Well, I can tell you're telling the truth." She walked up to me, a stern look in her eye as she looked into my hood. "Do ya promise to take care of the Apple family, and do an honest days work?"

I was slightly taken aback as she was being so straightforward. Still, I nodded and held a hand to where my heart would be if I still had a human body. "I promise."

She nodded and held out a hoof, a slight smile as she roughly shook my hand. "Then welcome to the Apple family Malthael. I don't think ah had the honor of introducin' mahself. The name's Applejack, but you can call me AJ."

"Wait wait wait!" Twilight barged in-between us, looking worriedly at AJ. "You're just going to let him become an honorary Apple just like that? You have no idea what he's capable of!"

Applejack just shook her head and calmly looked past her friend, and back up to me. "Ah don't care what he's done Twi, I just know that my parents have given him permission and ahm not willin' to go against 'em." She looked a bit teary-eyed as she said this as Twilight had a small panic attack before relenting.

"Fine, but you'll have to let me question him more." Twilight told to her friend sternly.

"That's just fine with me Twi, you can have him after he gets settled into work tomorrow. Fer now why don't we head downstairs and get somethin' to eat. All this panic's gotten me pretty hungry."

Twilight sighed before following her friend out of the room, myself a few steps behind them. "Well I guess I haven't had much to eat since Discord, just let me send a quick letter first."

AJ nodded while Twilight wrote her letter out as she walked downstairs, teleporting it somewhere and mumbling to herself in the time it took for us to get to the main room. That's when we noticed something odd. "Applejack, where are the other three?" Yup, somehow even Granny Smith had disappeared from her rocking chair and at once we all moved outside as we heard a loud noise coming from the barn next door.

Both Twilight and myself got a serious look from Applejack as she muttered her plan. "Alright, me and Twi will check it out, if we don't come back then you either go as well or get help. Got it?" I really should have protested the plan. It would take much more than a monster to hurt me, but in the spirit of trying to be trustworthy I simply obliged and waited as the two of them went in.

Seconds became minutes while I waited patiently, drawing pictures into the dirt and getting more worried as time went by. "Time is up." I kicked some dirt over my crude cat drawing before slowly opening the barn door, and suppressing a loud shriek as I the darkness lit up, my world instantly filling with color.

"SURPRISE!"

Author's Note:

Oh god, that title.
Don't worry too much, it had to be used eventually.
I blame you Jimmy.
What? No, wait, sir please n-!
Goodbye Jimmy.

Right, another chapter done. This one also turned out too large so I had to spread my plans out even MORE. Honestly, the previous one, this one, and the next one were all meant to be one chapter. How does it end up like this?

Oh, and opinions plox, not sure how you guys felt about the sappy bits and sorry there isn't too much comedy in this one.