The Everfree forest, home of many dangerous creatures. When one of Twilights spells go wrong the forest quiets down but there is also a new type of beast that dwells in the Everfree, one that roars, has a coat of metal and feet of rubber.
I have a question about the bear. If the arrows could penetrate his skin enough to be embedded and stay stuck to him than how did a fifty caliber round not go through. Maybe I'm missing something here. I don't mean to be too critical and I enjoy the story none-the-less but I don't see how the bullet wouldn't do much damage. It doesn't really add up. Plus a fifty cal would surly chip the bone at least. Maybe the bullet just ricocheted at a shallow angle. Otherwise great story.
Thoughts being dictated is a gray area. Some authors italicize the thought and some use a single 'apostrophe' on either end. The choice is up to you. I use both but every author is different about how they do it. Don't feel bad about that one. I needed somebody to help me with it when I started writing.
Finished the chapter. The bear is impossible. A single paw is more than five FEET wide? I believe the largest Kodiak bear ever reported was an estimated 9 feet at the shoulder. This obviously is not supposed to be taking place in the world as we know it and for more reasons than the bear. Could you explain on which world this is supposed to be happening?
Damn the first chapter was awesome but this got me disinterested fast. fuck! I am put off by the backstory of the character
this is the one that the American Government gave to me after they turned me into the ultimate killing machine. After my parents vanished a man in a black suit arrived at the orphanage a couple weeks later and took me to a training facility hidden deep with in the wilderness
. Also the designs being stolen piss me offI threw punch the air and like a dumbass I fell down I will read the next chapter and move on
way to op... but I think I like this story
I have a question about the bear. If the arrows could penetrate his skin enough to be embedded and stay stuck to him than how did a fifty caliber round not go through. Maybe I'm missing something here. I don't mean to be too critical and I enjoy the story none-the-less but I don't see how the bullet wouldn't do much damage. It doesn't really add up. Plus a fifty cal would surly chip the bone at least. Maybe the bullet just ricocheted at a shallow angle. Otherwise great story.
Thoughts being dictated is a gray area. Some authors italicize the thought and some use a single 'apostrophe' on either end. The choice is up to you. I use both but every author is different about how they do it. Don't feel bad about that one. I needed somebody to help me with it when I started writing.
Finished the chapter. The bear is impossible. A single paw is more than five FEET wide? I believe the largest Kodiak bear ever reported was an estimated 9 feet at the shoulder. This obviously is not supposed to be taking place in the world as we know it and for more reasons than the bear. Could you explain on which world this is supposed to be happening?
Damn the first chapter was awesome but this got me disinterested fast. fuck! I am put off by the backstory of the character
. Also the designs being stolen piss me offI threw punch the air and like a dumbass I fell down I will read the next chapter and move on