Chapter 7: Mad World
School Daze
by Paleo Prints
Chapter 7: Mad World
The day the insanity started began quietly. By the middle of first block most students were completely unaware of Cheerilee’s presence. The schoolmare walked among her students unseen and silent. The colts and fillies had their nose shoved into the tragic and touching romance of ‘The Old Man and the Sea Pony;’ Cheerilee could probably use an Emergency Parasprite Polka Pack without distracting most of the quiet reading groups.
She sighed as she sighted Bomber’s desk. Most is the operative word.
The leather-clad filly was writing furiously, her pen nearly swallowed whole. Cheerilee walked behind her desk on a wide path. Slowly and deliberately she softly tread behind Bomber’s line of sight. An anticipatory grin flashed as Cheerilee leaned over her shoulder.
“What are you working on, Bomber?”
The young mare nearly leaped out of her desk with a soft, high-pitched yelp. Sometimes it’s so easy, I’m ashamed of myself. Cheerilee quickly turned her grin of triumph into the perennial pleasant teacher’s smile. I feel slightly guilty for never getting tired of that.
“Bomber, you know my policy on writing notes in class. Could you pass it here so I can add grammatical correction marks? I expect it turned in tomorrow morning.”
The filly snorted. “There may be errors, but you’d have to cross the hall to complain. I’m doing me homework.”
Cheerilee stared. Bomber was indeed deep into a science assignment. Chemical notations and elaborate math covered the sheet in cribbed mouthwriting. Wow. Red’s doing something right with this one.
“I do appreciate your motivation, but could you get the current assignment done first? I can help if you’re stuck on something.”
Bomber rolled her eyes. “I don’t much fall for the romantic mush, Miss. Seems a buncha’ exaggeration. Nobody really falls for it like this; ponies mostly fall for each other when they need something or get in trouble together.” She immediately went back to her assignment.
Cheerilee moved around into Bomber’s vision. She could see to her right Luster giving her a pensive look, dreading the inevitable conversation.
“Bomber, could you step outside with me for a second?”
The student pretended not to notice as she worked magic in chemical formulae.
“Bomber, I would hate to talk to your parents about your defiance.”
The peach-colored filly snorted as she violently stood up. Her limbs pushed the desk a few hoofs away; the noise even roused Sledge. Nailkicker sat up attentively, eyes scanning for trouble.
Bomber snarled at Cheerilee. “Come on then! Yell at me for doin’ homework. Let’s take this outside. Have a go if yer hard enough!” She stomped off in a huff.
As the schoolmare watch the retreating form of Bomber, Luster put an unsteady hoof on Cheerilee’s shoulder. “It’s her uncle, Miss.” Her eyes looked at the schoolmare pleadingly. “It’s just her uncle left to her.”
The teacher paused. Nodding gently, she walked just inside the doorway as Bomber took up the traditional position just out of sight on the wall. Cheerilee cast a glance to her class; they all either went back to their book or did a good job of pretending. She trotted out toward her inevitable confrontation.
I’ve tried everything to get into her armor. There has to be something that will get her emotional wall down. She sighed. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
She sighed. “Bomber, why do you think we’re here?”
Bomber slammed her left hoof into the outside wall. “’Cause there ain’t nothing I can do; yer always gonna dump on me no matter what I do! I might as well drag it out in the open; I ain’t gonna hide me head.”
Cheerilee swallowed. “Listen, if you have a problem with me we could bring your uncle in for a conference.”
Bomber moved her face threateningly close to her teacher’s. “Leave my family out of this.”
The schoolmare took a step backwards. “Bomber, why do you give me such an attitude? Your grades have picked up in every other class except mine; I can’t understand the reason.”
The filly’s stare didn’t waver. “I’ve been trained on bullies; I’ve known what you were since you got here. Someone’s going to have to stand up to you once you turn on us.” She spat on the ground. “A grown-up is either a pushover or a bully. Me mates only need help with one; that’s why they don’t need me in the other classes.”
Cheerilee had no response. She stood in confusion. Bomber stared at her for a few moments. “Am I dismissed, Miss?”
The staggered schoolmare was about to answer her when a group of adults walked out of the office. A small delegation approached the central hallway intersection. An obsequious Placeholder was fawning over a grey unicorn stallion Cheerilee had hoped to never see again.
What is Prunecrop doing here? The administrator’s sharpened chartreuse horn flared as he wrote on a hovering clipboard. He offered an occasional one-word response to the portly principal who followed him.
Behind him was Forestallion Lookout. The gruff town leader was discussing some kind of blueprint with a squat and muscular stallion. The diminutive light-orange worker had a darker orange beard; his cutie mark showed a horned helmet over crossed pick-axes.
Cheerilee turned to Bomber. The young filly stared daggers at Sluice’s father. Well, that fits with my impression. ”Bomber, could you wait here a second?” She left the confused student standing at the doorway.
The fuchsia mare politely approached the delegation as they stood in the middle of the hallway. She overheard snippets of conversation.
“…and whose idea was it to open these windows? These miscreants need little help in their constant escape plans.”
“We could take out this entire wall here and store carts in the overlapping area during construction.”
“A-yeah-hey-hay. A few holes make the run-vrooms fit nice-nice.”
Cheerilee walked over as she finally caught Placeholder’s voice.
“…that is, the highest scores in any closing school in the last decade.”
She cleared her throat. “Closing is no longer the best solution though, correct?”
The four stallions turned to her. The miner ponies soon continued as if she hadn’t spoken; Placeholder’s eyes showed fear.
“My dear Cheerilee! This is the joint committee for the school’s closing. You know Mister Lookout; this is his engineering associate… ” He gestured at the shorter stallion, obviously fishing for a name.
“Diggy Diggyhole!”
Cheerilee stared.
“Best ‘round here now for diggin’ a hole, Bob’s yer uncle!"
She shook her head to clear the crazy out. “I see you’ve joined us as well, Mr. Prunecrop.”
Placeholder looked a little relieved. “Ah, you know the regional administrator then?”
Cheerilee frowned. Regional administrator? How did he get promoted?
The conversation stopped as the participants noticed a sickly-yellow glowing horn sparkle on Cheerilee’s side. She yelped as the stealthy administrator smiled. So that’s what that feels like.
“Miss Cheerilee! Such a pleasure to see you consigned to a place where you talents may be put on display. I understand your school’s fate and your career are mirroring each other in pleasant synchronicity.”
She glared. “Well Mr. Prunecrop, I understand congratulations are in order for you. However did you become a district-level administrator? Surely your merciful side showed at last?” …maybe under a microscope?
He preened. “I gave a speech at the regional meeting about what I was doing for small-town education; the story of my removal of a tiny burg’s incompetent teacher and the gratitude of the populace.” His eyes widened with glee. “They promoted me after a tearful round of applause. I admit I may have talked up the details; I believe one sweet old retired schoolmare is still having nightmares about your neglect of your students.”
Cheerilee shivered as a flash of anger passed through her.
“So thanks go to you, dear. I couldn’t have done it without you. Without that little meeting we had that I so love to reflect on I wouldn’t be heading this committee.”
“And what, pray tell, is the purpose of this committee?” Must control hoof of death.
He clapped joyfully on the ground. “Why, the imminent demolition of this educational eyesore, of course! Mr. Lookout has plans to make this area a much-needed town water reservoir.”
Cheerilee started to feel a low flare of panic in her soul. “Mr. Prunecrop, we’ve made some incredible steps forwards in the past few months. Our scores have increased across the board and the student buy-in is incredible. I could show you our new student rocketry club, or our medieval enactment society.”
Prunecrop gently shook his head. “That’s nice and lovely and more than a little amusing, dear Miss Cheerilee. The fact is this entire school is going to shortly be…” He cast a glance at the mining associate, who was looking fit to burst with pride.
“A hole!” The shorter pony started cavorting down the hallways, singing to himself.
The aged unicorn shook his head in amusement. “Well, we certainly can’t ask for more than enthusiasm in our jobs, could we? Except for a little sense of competence around small children, I suppose.” His eyes flashed cruelly at the schoolmare.
I can’t let him get to me. Okay, he’s getting to me; I can’t let it show!
Lookout trotted over to the conversation. “I honestly think we’re doing you a favor, Miss. I’ve got no idea how you work around these reprobates.” He nodded toward the form of the eaves-dropping Bomber. “That’s ones been poison ever since her Da took his last roam away from decent civilization with her Ma in tow.”
Cheerilee heard a gasp from behind her and gritted her teeth. “Gentlemen, that ‘reprobate’ is third in math and first in science in our school. She’s working a full two grade levels ahead in chemistry and physics.”
Prunecrop placed a foreleg over Cheerilee’s shoulder. “Ah, but soon all of those naïve and useless dreams will share a place with your career in a nice, big hole.” The mining pony down the hall echoed the administrator’s last word. As Prunecrop saw the fear in the schoolmare’s eyes he grinned. “I’ve seen that look of realization before, Miss Cheerilee. That’s the terror of knowing what this world is about. Welcome to reality.”
The school mare looked at Placeholder. He had the frightened look of someone with no limbs being asked to toss a life rope to a drowning mare. She saw no help forthcoming and returned to pleading her case. “Sir, you’ve seen what we’ve done here; the scores are fantastic and the activities are unique. Incident reports are down 77%! Just a little more time is all we're asking for!” She reached out with a hoof to her principal. “Help me, please!”
Placeholder looked back and forth between the feuding educators. “I… I don’t know how.”
Prunecrop snickered. “Miss Cheerilee, just a little more time won’t open closing doors. This place is a waste of bits all around. These are mining pony children who will grow up to be mining pony taxpayers. Their taxpaying parents want them in the mines producing for the good of community.”
Cheerilee snorted indignantly. “They want a community of only miners? They want no doctors to treat injuries, no writers to give them things to pass the time with? Red’s students alone may invent entirely new ways to mine!”
Prunecrop shook his head. “From the reports I’ve heard they’ll only invent a faster way to demolish this building." He looked at her like a teacher looking at a naïve, uncomprehending student. “I answer purely to the will of the community. The community doesn’t care, and the town meeting referendum will show that with the final vote three weeks from now. ”
A realization trickled across Cheerilee’s senses. The schoolmare turned to look at her ‘audience.’ The loud argument had percolated into the ears of the entire school; heads were peeking out of every door in the small building. Globe looked incredulous, while Goldy was almost in tears. Red had a look of pure hate burning into the gray administrator. Screwball was sniffling down the hallway with Quest using his hoof to rub her shoulder for comfort.
I will NOT break down in front of Screwy because of this gelding!
Cheerilee’s smile made a triumphant return. “Thank you, sir!”
Prunecrop furrowed his brow. This was supposed to be the part of his job he most enjoyed; being terrible to ponies for the right reasons. He should be enjoying the fuchsia mare’s sobbing breakdown. Disappointed, he inquired, “What have I done to ‘help’ you in any way, aside from showing you why you should change profession?”
“Sir, now we have a concrete deadline. We have three weeks to get those parents to care.” She turned back to face him. “Then we’ll only need you to give me the award when one of us gets the Best Equestrian Teacher Trophy.” She gave a long smile. “I can help you write the introduction speech if you need it.”
She heard giggles and a few hoofclaps from down the hall. “Mr. Prunecrop, with a little perseverance you can get things done.”
He snorted. “I certainly hope you can keep a bright demeanor when you leave here on a train back to…” He furrowed his brow in mocked concentration. “Say, you don’t actually have anywhere else, do you? You’re on a road to nowhere, Miss Cheerilee. Good day.”
He paced off. Placeholder gave her a look of sympathy as he trotted off. Diggy followed, singing to himself. Only Lookout remained; he gave Cheerilee an incredulous look.
“Do you have any further comments, Mr. Hardpick?” She kept her tone completely diplomatic and civil with an effort she imagined must be like raising the Sun.
He shook his head. “I got some respect for anyone who tries to dig a mine with her bare hooves. I just know that the rock always wins.” He nodded politely and walked off.
Cleansweep, who had been watching the entire conflict, suddenly looked in panic at a nearby cuckoo who was gesturing madly. The janitor started slamming on the school bell with force; he hoped no one would notice second block was running behind.
Cheerilee quaked with tension. She saw the student body staring at her; Bomber’s eyes were wide in confusion. “Bomber, could you stay after class for just a second?” The contemplative filly weakly nodded. The schoolmare limply walked into her room.
Cheerilee walked to her desk with effort and turned to her class. They hadn’t budged from their seats. She brought on the emergency smile.
“Well, head out everyone. It’s over.” She hunched hooves across her desk as a peach filly walked over to her. Cheerilee raised an eyebrow.
“Bomber, I’m sorry I threatened you when we first met; I had no idea you would take it so harshly.” She leaned forward. “You don’t have to like me, but please do your make-up work when you can. You can hate the class. You can hate me as much as you want to.” She made eye contact through bleary moisture. “I just want you to learn, Bomber.”
The buzz cut-haired filly nodded almost unperceptively. Her face was unreadable.
“Bomber, why don’t you pack up your things? We could finish talking later; I wouldn’t want you to be tardy for Mr. Glare’s class.”
As the filly turned to her desk, Cheerilee let her head drop onto the desk for a second. After a beat she lifted it up again. She was smiling.
The mask’s back in place. She waved in the crowd of the next hour’s students whom were already standing at the door. Can’t let it drop for a second; I’m the only smiling adult some of these kids see in a day. That has to be worth something, right?
She tried hard to forget about Prunecrop’s words as she walked to her door.
Hours later, Cheerilee had mostly succeeded in shoving her neuroses in the back of her brain. During a class she had always had a problem thinking far in the future; the choice of tonight’s dinner seems so far away when five emergencies need your immediate attention. She finally remembered the earlier confrontation when her own students brought it up.
Third block was running down. The children were discussing the end of their story to themselves. Flip Turnpage was engaged in a heated argument with Crunch Tallymark over the potential ‘bonuses’ of a half-earth pony half-sea pony hybrid. Quest walked over to the desk where Cheerilee was both getting a head start on grading and catching up on the day’s attendance.
“Um, Miss?” He seemed nervous, casting glances around to make sure no other students were around. Cheerilee smiled.
“You can use the restroom between classes, Quest. It’s too close to the end of the hour.”
He shook his head, surprised. “I was wondering if Screwball could come over to my house tonight. To play a game, I mean. With everyone else. And my parents. Well,” he was almost sweating with nervousness as he paused to wipe his glasses. “I mean my parents will be there. They don’t play the games with us anymore after the incident with the minotaur.”
Cheerilee considered the offer. “I know she’s got homework. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
Quest turned back to look at Screwball, currently rereading the story in reverse.
“Miss, I want to take her mind off of what happened today. She’s been broken up all day thinking about what that pointy-headed ooze said to you.” He looked pleadingly at his teacher.
The schoolmare smiled. “I’ve heard that friendship can work magic. You have my blessing.” She called over her ‘niece.’ Now, what was her character’s name? She has drawings all taped up all over the wall at home. “Screwy, what would Pearlshield say to spending time with your friends tonight?”
Screwy stood at attention. “Fear not, Noble Sorceress! Pearlshield shall handle both the recovery of the Seaweed Kingdom’s Prince and thine writing assignment!”
She gave Cheerilee a tight hug. The older mare giggled as they walked away. The ringing bell soon carried away her students and swept in her planning period.
Halfway through her planning, Cheerilee was starting to nod off. The solitude and tedium of grading led to frequent unexpected naps on her desk. She was wavering in and out of consciousness when a knock sounded at her door.
“Flowers! Is there a Che Erie Ley here?”
Red, you shouldn’t have. Her mood started to brighten as she paced over to the door. Her heart stopped as it opened.
She was greeted by an explosion of flowers. They settled on every surface and immediately took root, spontaneous blooming as clouds of gummy worms crawled out of them. In the middle of the cacophony, a pony-headed pile of parts swept through the air over her, stopping to hover over her desk, which immediately started tap-dancing with joy.
This is impossible. He’s stone. That can’t be Discord. I’m dreaming.
“My dear teacher, congratulations are in order! I thought you would organize this wonderful pit of chaos.” He drew a wet hoofkerchief out of the air, drying it as he blew into it. “It turns out you’ll leave this place worse than before you came; I’m touched.” He gave a self-satisfied grin to the terrified earth pony.
Okay, what would Twilight do in this situation? Act like she always does. Cheerilee’s heart came close to bursting as she padded over to the powerful spirit. She worked to keep all fear out of her voice. “Get…get out of my class, Discord.”
The Draconequus simply stared, blinking for a second. He then convulsed into fits of laughter as he flew through the room in a barrel roll.
“Really, my dear pony? That’s simply too much. I’d expect that from your dearest smoozy-woozy friends, but you?” He levitated in front of her, locking gazes from a few scant inches away. “You don’t have an Element of Harmony, you need stamps to contact a princess, and your special talent involves book reports.” He drew himself to attention behind a conjured podium; closing his eyes and raising his right claw he mimicked Applejack’s accent. “Pony, I know Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle is a close personal nemesis of mine.” He opened his eyes with a cruel flash. “Dear pony, you are no Twilight Sparkle.”
Cheerilee backed up until her rump touched the wall. With a hiss a candied flower exploded, showering crawling gummy worms over her back. She squealed in terror, jumping sideways. Discord guffawed. Cheerilee shrank down onto her hooves with tears in her eyes.
“Someone’s going to hear all this. Globe’s class is probably getting help as we speak.”
Discord flew to the door as pointed a thumb at the hallway. Red Glare walked into view, waving a hoof. He then cocked his head and nodded, then walked off.
Discord shook his head, clucking with his tongue. “Science is the noble art of taking away the fun with predictability.” The Draconequus created an apple pie; it exploded, sending miniature stars and galaxies flying into the air from the burst crust. Discord blew the spreading cosmos out like a birthday candle. “I prefer randomness.” He shrugged and returned his attention to the terrified mare.
“Dear Miss Cheerilee, they see only what I want them to see.” He floated sideways to her until his head was upside-down on top of hers. They locked eyes. “I can do anything I want here. With a thought I could rearrange your internal organs.” He chortled darkly. “Perhaps I just did.”
Well, he loves to monologue. Got to keep him talking until I get a plan. Have to keep him entertained. "This doesn’t seem like your usual behavior, Discord. The Draconequus who held Equestria in his grip is settling for pranking a classroom? Sounds kind of out of character to me.”
The chaos lord settled on the ground. He was suddenly wearing an orange jumpsuit and a simple zebra-striped prisoner’s hat. Cheerilee’s right hoof became hoofcuffed to his left arm, and he pulled her across the floor to him.
“Unfortunately my dear teacher, I have had to adapt my skill to my situation.” An anger that could crack continents briefly bubbled to the surface. “I have to be a little more subtle now that Princess Borelestia and her student Sparkling Flank have casted tracking spells.” He threw his arm across his brow theatrically, tossing Cheerilee into the air. She hung several feet off the ground. “Oh, what I would give for an appreciative audience. The pink one had potential, but she sealed me away anyway. Peer pressure can be so cruel!”
He slipped his claw out of the hoofcuff. It levitated in place, dangling Cheerilee off the floor. He was suddenly wearing the outfit of a cheap crystal ball game show host. “But that’s not what we’ve come here to discuss!” Two bleachers appeared on either side of the room. They were packed with cheering armadillos in sombreros. Discord was standing behind a podium again, looking at an index card. “Miss Cheerilee from Cherry Lawn, welcome to ‘This Was Your Life’!
The armadillos applauded as Cheerilee gritted her teeth. Hanging from the hoofcuff was painful; her hoof and forelimb felt like they were going to be snapped apart by gravity. Right between the cannon and pastern, she thought with a strange detachment. She saw through a haze of red, straining to lift herself onto the floating hoofcuffs. They suddenly released, applauding her with high-pitched clinking noises. Cheerilee massaged her limb as she lay on her side.
Discord hovered over her. “So, I understand that our first contestant is a teacher. Is that right? How is your discipline, Miss Cheerilee?”
The earth pony struggled to stand. “It’s excellent; I can handle clowns who waste everyone’s time.” Through her bravado her side was killing her.
Discord gave a golf clap. “But it wasn’t always that way, was it now?” With a wave of his claw a scene played out on her desk, a fanciful illusionary scene spread out in miniature.
It always comes back to this. There is always something there to remind me.
Flickering images of Cheerilee and her class walked through a phantasmal Canterlot Statuary Garden. She saw that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had just started arguing in front of the ‘statue’ of Discord.
He rested his elbow on the podium, his head cradled on his claw. “They’re adorable little tykes, aren’t they? I should send them a cutie mark for an hour and see how they’d react.” He started giggle-snorting. “Perhaps I’ll turn their real cutie marks invisible!” His expression turned expectant as he stared at Cheerilee. “But we have something more important at hand.”
Three stage curtains suddenly appeared on the wall. The first red curtain rose, exposing the statuary scene from Cheerilee’s memory. The second blue curtain rolled back, showing a scene where the class avoided the statue entirely. The schoolmare watched in fascination as a pair of quarreling lovers stopped in front of the Draconequus statue. Their angry gestures continued until she saw for the first time a brief glow over Discord’s heart.
He levitated to the schoolmare, clearing his throat.
“Pay attention to this rhyme and your problems shall be fixed in time. A heavy choice is yours to make upon which path your life shall take. Take a walk through the curtain red and you career shall end here, dead. “He pointed to the alternative choice, showing her the scene of her lecture at the Ponyville schoolhouse. “Trot instead through the fabric azure and all your infamy I shall abjure!”
He smiled in anticipation.
Thoughts spun wildly in Cheerilee’s head. “What’s behind the yellow curtain?”
The Spirit of Chaos rolled his eyes. “A goat. Pay it no heed; I never understood the math on it anyway; do I look like Merv Griffon?”
She turned to look him in the eyes. “Why would you do this?”
Discord shrugged. “Five tons of flax! Who cares; I’m doing it now. What’s your choice?”
She was trembling as she turned back to the curtains. The crimson one was now showing her pacing alone onto a train station platform, tears in her eyes.
“This isn’t possible. No one can rewrite time.”
He shook his neck back and forth. “Oh no you di’int! I’m the Spirit of Chaos; I do whatever I please whenever I please. On a whim I just placed four thousand holes in Blackburn, Flankashire!”
Her eyes caught on a textbook; it was left open to ‘The Manticore’s Paw’. “Rewriting the past is dangerous. Who knows what I’ll affect by changing my…”
Discord interrupted by pointing a finger in her face. "Please! Spare me your egotistical musings on your pivotal role in history. Nothing you do here will cause Equestria to collapse or galaxies to explode. To be blunt, you're not that important." He grinned. “Now choose. I’m getting bored watching you quiver in antici-… ”
Cheerilee’s mind thought rapidly, waiting for Discord to finish the sentence. After a few moments frozen in place he breathed out, “-pation.”
“Make a choice now, pony. Either rot at the dead end here, or everything that day in the garden brought you is erased from history.”
Everything would be back to the way it was. She started looking around the classroom. I’d never have met Red. She bit her lip. Is that a good thing? I feel like a failure; he could find someone better to spend his time with.
She stood there in the room, the world balancing precariously on her shoulders.
Discord started tapping a claw impatiently. “Come on, Cheerilee. I don’t mind you comin’ round and wastin’ all my time… to a point.”
Cheerilee turned to him with a smile. “No. I’d rather take the goat than rewrite history. I’d never give up Screwball, no matter what happens.”
Discord’s mouth open as his tongue fell onto the floor. “Screwball? That moron? Are you sure you wouldn’t want the blue curtain? Heck, I’ll even throw in the goat.”
Cheerilee was about to respond when she looked at her classroom door. Screwball and her gaming friends were there. Quest was trying to pull Screwy by the shoulder, waving to an illusionary teacher at the desk. Screwball was staring straight at Discord and the real Cheerilee.
“Seriously, you’d take Screwball? She’s a prank, nothing more than an amusing boner! I wired her wrong on purpose.” Realization started to dawn on the earth pony as he continued his explanation. “Her quick and intelligent mind deduces exactly what she wants and then decides to get it the wrong way! I mean, really; who else would try to make friends in an empty classroom?” The Draconequus started belly-laughing. “She's my best creation since Poison Joke!”
A bright point of anger was fanned into flame in Cheerilee’s mind. “She can see us?”
Discord waved away the question. “Five tons of flax; who cares? She might have some immunity to my effects; I care not one hot dog.”
Cheerilee walked up to Discord. “You knew she was standing there, didn’t you? This was the big punch line all along.”
The Draconequus placed a top hat on his head. “I do love an audience. She’s been watching a while. Now, on to the reasons you’re making a bad choice…”
The enraged schoolmare stood nose to nose with the spirit of chaos. “You just tempted the closest thing that filly has to a mother to abandon and forget her and YOU LET HER WATCH?”
Discord pulled on a suddenly existing shirt collar. “I may have… ”
Cheerilee interrupted him by spinning around and bucking him in the face. The Draconequus toppled backwards into a corner as the raging mare advanced on him.
“You bucked me! Twilight never bucked me!”
Cheerilee leaned in close. “I’m not Twilight.”
Discord snapped his fingers and teleported to the other side of the room. “Well, this has become a joyless exercise.” He threw his claws into the air. “I could do whatever I think to you, Cheerilee. Consider that for a fraction of a second, my little insignificant pony; whatever I could think of.”
Cheerilee returned his dangerous gaze without flinching; the Draconequus ranted in anger. “I gave you something most mortals never experience - a second chance at life - and now all you can do is COMPLAIN!?”
The simple schoolmare took a step closer. “I’m not an Element of Harmony. I don’t have a direct line to a goddess. Yes, my cutie mark involves book reports.” She stared into Discord’s eyes unflinchingly. “None of that affects what I’m telling you; if you hurt Screwball I will end you.”
Discord sighed. “BORING.” He blinked closer to the schoolmare, hovering above her reach. “A word in your ear, dear Cheerilee. As the Great and Powerful Discord I can see the way things might end; chaos is all about possibilities. I can see where you’ll end up at the end of this.” He stared at her with sadistic relish.
“There's a room where the light won't find you; holding hooves while the world comes tumbling down.” He pointed at the schoolmare. “When you do he'll be right beside you.” Discord shook his head in false commiseration. “It’s so sad that you almost made it.” The Draconequus laughed wildly as he snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash of light.
The remnants of Discord’s existence faded out with him; Screwball ran into the classroom; she sniffled as she came face to face with Cheerilee, and then threw her hooves around the schoolmare’s neck. The older pony could feel her quivering as Screwball’s muscles tensed with effort. Screwball pulled out of the hug with blood oozing out of her nose. She was breathing heavily as she spoke to Cheerilee.
“I love you.”
The older mare rubbed her hoof in Screwball’s hair. “Go out with your friends. They’re wondering what’s wrong.” She smiled. “I’ll be right at home waiting for you.”
Screwball nodded, smiling through tears. She shuffled out of the classroom. “Onward to adventure!”
Cheerilee closed the door behind Screwy. She leaned against the wall and sobbed to herself. As the tears flowed she realized she had never been happier.
More than two hours after the students left Cheerilee found herself too fuzzed in the head to grade. She started to wander to the break room to find a coffee when she picked up an inked drawing left on a desk.
Hmm… I question the anatomy in this one. I look fine. She moved the drawing sideways. Okay, I look MORE than fine, but either he’s overestimating the size of the buffalo or the underestimating the size of the dragon.
While she considered the possibilities Red stuck his head in the door. “Heya!” She gave a quick squeak of surprise and dropped the drawing behind the desk. Red grinned. She makes the cutest noises.
“Cheerilee, your room smells lovely today; is that apple pie? I love apple pie!”
Cheerilee rolled her eyes, her breathing starting to settle down. “What’s up, Red?”
He was almost vibrating in place with excitement. “I started thinking about how we could get on the parents’ side, and I had an idea! I talked to some old gearhead friends of mine. They’ve got a radio show. They’re willing to have you on!”
Cheerilee tilted her head. “You have friends in K-COLT?”
Red looked a little embarrassed. “No, there’s another radio station now. I got you an interview on W-BRNY.”
Cheerilee started languidly packing her cart. “That sounds like a great idea. When’s the interview?”
Red grabbed her tail with his teeth and started pulling her out of the classroom. Through her tail he said, “Forty minutes.”
Within the hour the nervous and out-of-breath teacher found herself in a radio studio on the edge of New Canterlot. How did I let him talk me into this? She wished she was in the safety of the equipment booth; she could see the engineers sitting safely behind glass, enjoying the spectacle. Instead, she was stuck out in the small equipment-filled room that passed for a recording booth with the crazy ponies. She stared at the bright red radio host; the earth pony stallion was leaning back on his seat, swinging a two-by-four for effect. He had a cutie mark of a jug or bottle with ‘XXX’ written on it.
“And then smash it until the bicycle handle sticks all the way in!” He swung the bludgeon around, either not knowing or not caring that no one outside the studio could see him. He was obviously enjoying his job.
His nervous brown-maned co-hosted gulped. The yellow-coated stallion spoke into his microphone. “That’s all the time we have for Apple Cider’s Legal Advice. Remember kids, W-BRNY makes no promises as to the legality of the preceding advice.”
What have I got myself into? She stretched out a limb to grab a jug the red pony had brought with him and took a long swig out of nervousness. It was not the first since she arrived in the studio; she hadn’t noticed that her sweating was caused by more than nervousness.
The red pony leaned into his microphone. “It’s the top of the hour here on W-BRNY! I’m Apple Cider and this is Chef Sandy. We’ve got the Cool Thing of the Week coming up, along with a half-hour live interview with Prince Blueblood! First things first; Taste the Local Flavor!”
Man, he’s manic. I wonder what he’d be like without the yellow one to rein him in. She took another swig. She barely noticed the pleasant heat that swept through her.
She watched the yellow pony host tap away at the complicated console. I wonder what skill a cactus with a chef hat signifies? “That’s right, AC! Every week we pick an interesting character the community may not know about. This week we have the recently-transferred teacher Cheerilee! She transferred into Old Canterlot a few months ago, and she’s here to talk about cool things in education.”
AC turned to her. “So, you work at Luna’s School for Disadvantaged Youth?”
The schoolmare gave a belch and nodded. Seeing AC’s confused look she leaned into the mike. “Yes.”
Chef Sandy knitted his eyebrows; he was obviously worried about the guest’s entertainment value. Apple Cider noticed his co-host’s response and decided to play the cards he’d been dealt.
“So Miss Cheerilee, do you have any interesting things you do with your kids?”
Cheerilee slammed the jug onto the radio console. “Well, one of the kids got shot up with bows. He was mouthing off; he deserved it.” She giggled a drunken giggle. “He used to be a bully; then he took an arrow to the knee.”
Chef Sandy’s jaw dropped; Apple Cider shook his head from side to side. “Oh no, teacher. Teacher, leave the kids alone.”
She waved her hoof enthusiastically. “It was a recreation. They were foam arrows. The geography teacher stages historical recreations in the parking lot to give the kids a feel for the past. Well, he uses the lot whenever it’s not Science Rocket Day or Math Kite Day. I have them do plays and read-off in the classroom so we don’t compete. I don’t want to take one of Red’s shots in my face.” She tittered uncontrollably.
Sandy nodded appreciatively. He thought this guest had potential. AC leaned over to him. “Um, Chef? My jug’s empty. Nice teacher pony is all drunky; is she still gonna be a nice pony?”
Chef took the reins over. Man, AC’s so nervous he’s keeping his persona on off-air. “So, why are you here today; what do you want to talk about?”
Cheerilee stood up and stared into the mic. “I want to talk about how bucked up the school system could be. We’re doing amazing things and it still can’t find a way to tell the parents about it.”
AC carefully scooted next to her. “Well, what did you do? We’d like to know.”
The schoolmare slammed her hoof on the equipment; both hosts flinched. “I’ve got kids who have never read a book without a centerfold willingly reading Findingway. There’s a filly who no one has ever given a chance to doing advanced chemistry.” Cheerilee nickered. “I used to find her terrifying; I know now she’s just had to deal with a bunch of stuff. I don’t know what, but I know its stuff. I can deal with stuff. Everybody has stuff.” She glanced into the bottle, wondering where the warm liquid had gone.
Chef Sandy grabbed her mic; she barely noticed as she found another one of AC’s jugs. “Okay, we’re taking a break for a word from our sponsors; we’ll be back in a minute with Prince BluUMPH.” He was interrupted as AC covered his mouth with a hoof. Chef was no stranger to this; he still had the presence of mind to roll the prerecorded commercials.
AC grinned like a down-home moonshine salesman pitching his wares. “Chef, the board is lit up. There’s a line of people who want to talk to the angry drunk nice teacher lady.”
Chef Sandy looked terrified. He whispered pleadingly. “She’s spikier than a Big Bloom Cactus! We’ve got to get her out of here! Besides, you know that was only a three minute segment; we have to make airtime for Blueblood after the break.”
His scarlet co-host only smiled. “Chef, I got an idea.”
Sandy gave him a skeptical look. “That sentence usually is followed by you locking me in the basement.”
Apple Cider nickered as he placed a hoof on his friend’s shoulder. “Chef, this one’s both above board and above ground. How about we stir up a little ratings controversy?”
The yellow pony scanned the studio intently. He gestured over for one of the staff. “Hey, where’s the director?”
A headset-wearing pony checked the backroom and returned. “Starry Night’s asleep on the couch.”
Chef shrugged, looked at Apple Cider, and nodded. Apple exploded with joy. “Yeah! We have teacher pony in here! I like teacher pony!”
He turned to the emotional schoolmare, who was already taking a new swig of his namesake. “Hey, it turns out you’ve got a little more time and a bunch of interested callers. Care to stay on?”
Cheerilee belched and gave a demented grin. “Absolutely.”
Chef leaned close to his co-host. “AC, there’s one last kicker. We’ve mentioned we’re supposed to have an interview with Prince Blueblood in thirty seconds.”
The red host adjusted some of the buttons with his hooves. “Chef, do you think he’ll do anything aside from buck up a storm about how that crazy mare on K-COLT radio treats him? What are the chances we’ll get him off within an hour?”
The yellow earth pony looked contemplative. He then immediately lunged to the switchboard. “We’re back everyone! We’re opening the call lines now for questions for Apple Cider, Chef Sandy, or Cheerilee the Angry Teacher!”
Apple Cider sounded overjoyed. “Yeah, we’ve got technical problems with Blueblood’s call. The normal phone lines are fine, and we’ve waiting to hear from you! Line 1, you’re on with the Angry Teacher.”
An uncertain voice came on the air. “Yes, I’d like to know why we need a school in Old Canterlot. Isn’t that just a mining town?”
Cheerilee bounced up, smiling with a manic expression. “I understand; after all, no one important ever came from a working class background. Certainly not Findingway, you uneducated dandy!”
The caller blustered and hung up. AC frowned. The light on the control board immediately flared up as someone else called in. His frown reversed itself.
“Hello? Long time listener, first time caller. What kind of resources could this school have? How can you reach the kids with nothing?”
Cheerilee crawled onto the console. “The stallion across the hall from me launches rockets with a bicycle pump and old bottles. He made that out of scraps! He’s the most wonderfully devoted and creative stallion I know, and he’s really cute when he stutters his sentences.”
Cheerilee heard snickers from the console. Well, if the hosts are happy it must be a good thing. After a long day of dealing with Placeholder, Prunecrop, and Discord she was ready to unleash the fury that had built up inside.
Chef Sandy nodded contentedly as he listened to his headset. “We’ve got another caller from New Canterlot. This is… Prince Blueblood?”
AC nervously grabbed a bottle and took a swig. The cultured unicorn’s voice filled the studio.
“Yes, I’m unhappy with having to dial this accursed thing myself to get through. I’ve called into your show like a commoner to speak with this trashy usurper. I was wondering why someone like myself should give a single bit toward the education of those ruffians elsewhere.”
Cheerilee stared at the microphone. Months of playing diplomat suddenly fell away as AC’s patented liquid courage filled her.
“You… you stupid, insignificant… ” She grasped for words.
Sandy grabbed AC by the shoulder. “AC, she’d going to go on a drunken tirade. Get the censor button ready!”
AC looked at him blankly. “I thought that was on your side of the console. “
They stared at each other for a second. They both immediately started searching the console like a drowning pony looking for a rope.
“I don’t see it!”
“I don’t either!”
Cheerilee hiccuped. “How… dare… you.”
“Quick, find a sound clip to play over her then! Just hit it every time she swears.”
“Which one?”
Sandy whispered with force. “AC, I DON’T CARE!”
AC put his hoof on the first sound clip button he found, prepared to press it for dear life.
Cheerilee roared like a dragon. “HOW DARE YOU! You stupid mother Yay-ing royal piece of dumb Yay. You Yay-headed Yay-grabbing pile of Yay that sucks Yay through a straw!”
Sandy looked at AC quizzically. “You used the Fluttershy quote?”
AC shrugged. “It took us an hour to get ten words out of her; we might as well get some use out of one of them”
Cheerilee continued heaping her abuse on Blueblood. Part of her mind was trying to convert her decibels into sheer kinetic energy to launch him to the moon. “I’ll give you three reasons to throw a bit their way with your dainty hooves. Lesson one; the ponies whose educations you neglect will be the ones who rob you tomorrow because you took away all of their Yaying honest opportunities!”
Chef Sandy inched closer to her. “Don’t get too worked up over radio. Just tell yourself it’s just a show; you should really just relax.”
She ignored him. “But that’s a little unlikely for most of these miner ponies, because they are some of the hardest working ponies I have ever Yaying met. I have a student whose teen sister died in the mines getting rocks for your untouched hooves! Do you know what he does? He does all of his sister’s workload as fast as possible and then sneaks to school to make us cry with his amazing stories! These are better ponies than you, you Yaying ponce!”
Cheerilee blinked back hot tears as she stared with a visage that could have made Nightmare Moon quake.
“These are good ponies, like the Elements of Harmony. You know, the ones you treated like Yay at that stupid Gala? The ones who saved the world twice? Except for one of them, all of them came from Yaying Ponyville! But your cultured hooves were probably holding your flank when the Yay hit the fan.”
AC whispered to Sandy. “I don’t want to hit the button anymore. My hoof hurts!”
Sandy shot him a look of determination. “You keep hitting that Yaying button, you hear me?”
Cheerilee was trying to count off reasons on her hoof and failing. “Here’s Reason Number Three; you are a stupid Yaytch.”
Blueblood gasped. “What did you just have the temerity to call me?”
Cheerilee threw her head back, spinning in the chair. “You are a bYaytch! Who likes bananas! And do you know why you like bananas? You like to shove them in your Yay up to the Yay until your Yay overflows! And I’m going to show you!”
Blueblood’s voice quaked. “You’re going to show me?”
The schoolmare was on a roll. “I’m going to show you how awesome these kids are; I’m going to show everyone! We’re going to have a show; Yay that, we’re going to have a Yaying festival! We’ve going to show everyone the amazing things we’re doing with the students in every area, and then I’m sure the town’ll vote for us to stay.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. Chef Sandy tentatively tapped the microphone. “Prince, are you there?” Sandy heard nothing but sobbing on the other line; he cut the call.
AC was waving his hoof in pain. Sandy quickly started buzzing in the other callers.
“Yes, am I on? This is Fancy Pants; I want to give one thousand bits to support the brave mare that not only gives her all to children but can speak with such gumption; I like the cut of her jib.”
“This is Vinyl; you guys FINALLY found a guest on our show’s level!”
“Attention W-BRNY; this is your Princess of the Night talking. We are delighted to say we will be at the festival!”
“This is her principal; could you ask her to stop by my room tomorrow?”
AC and Chef Sandy gave each other a hard brohoof as the calls rolled in. AC quickly grabbed his hoof in pain; Sandy smiled sheepishly. AC shook his head. “Okay, she is my One Cool Thing. We’re going to beat ‘This Equestrian Life’ in the reviews for sure. That was the best guest we’ve had since Twilight Sparkle.”
His yellow co-host narrowed his eyes. “Rainbow Dash was the best guest, AC.”
Cheerilee was unaware of the old argument that flared up again in front of her; she had passed out on the console.
The next day Cheerilee nursed a headache as she walked to her class. Celestia, I even missed the faculty meeting. I must have had some time last night. She waved to the students, already seated. They looked at her with smiles. I must have passed out mid-interview. Did I say something on the air? This must be what Berry Punch feels like most of the time. She smiled from amusing memories of Ponyville returning. And here I thought Twilight was a lightweight.
Bomber met her at the desk. The peach filly looked at her expectantly. “Yes, Bomber? Can I help you?”
Bomber nodded. “I did me make-up work, Miss. The essay about what was important to us.”
Cheerilee nodded and took her seat. “Well, I’m willing to let you start the class. Lay on.”
Bomber moved the paper to the reading podium used by non-unicorns. She faced her classmates and cleared her throat. “This is about me Da. 'is name was Brush Runner; 'e was an Imperial Ranger Captain in the Everfree Forest Brigade.
Cheerilee stared. Luna clop me; really? Bomber is a military brat? Cheerilee was silent as the young mare read her story, a captivating tale she could see clearly in her imagination….
The dark green earth pony careful stuck his head over the fallen tree. He made out a clearing about fifty hoofs wide between cover. Shaking his head, he turned to whisper to his companion.
“It’s all bloody rubbish. We might as well be dancing nancies out there; it’ll see us if we run.”
A muscular bull sat on the ground next to him. He wore a red bandana, a placid look, and a field dressing on his shoulder stained crimson.
“Gosh, I just dunno. Do ya think we could flank the area slowly, Brush?”
The pony shook his head. He pulled a pair of binoculars out of his saddle to scan the horizon. His bovine companion chuckled.
“I’ve been your partner for gosh-darn ten years now and I can say I’ve never got how you ponies hold things like that. I guess my hooves are too bulky.”
Brush smiled. You could count on Clint Beefwood to joke while in mortal danger. The smile disappeared as he heard a scream in the distance.
“Listen closely, Clint. I think those off-track settlers are due west. You stay here and I’ll keep them from becoming chew toys. “
The bull threw himself over the log. Brush raised an eyebrow. “Clint, after ten years you’ve proved a bull can be a ranger; stop pushing yourself so hard.”
“I think I see it, yah know. The Ugly Trio’s right that way.” He galloped through the clearing.
The pony shook his head incredulously. “Clint, you’re not even supposed to walk swiftly with that little blood in you.” Suddenly the ranger pony became aware of the silence; all the animals had made themselves scarce. “Oh, horse apples.”
As Brush leaped out of his hiding place several things happened at once.
A plain-robed filly started running towards the bull from the other edge of the clearing; following right behind her was a winged nightmare. Crashing through the brush was a giant lion, its head flanked by a mangy goat head and a salivating dragon head. Something whipped back and forth on its flank. Clint lowered his horns and charged.
Brush screamed wordlessly as the two forms collided. The chimera was knocked several feet backwards. Clint was still in contact with it, straining to push it into a tree. Its claws raked his back as the ranger pony made his way to the melee. The screaming mare took cover behind a bush.
The lion head chewed on Clint’s horn while the goat butted his shoulder. The dragon head was taking in a long breath when two hooves knocked it silly. As it shook of the effect a green form jumped on top of it, smashing it to the ground.
“Come on, freakshow!” The earth pony blustered with all the volume he could muster. “Have a go if you’re hard enough!”
The two heads on Clint turned their attention to Brush; he could see the relief in the battered bull’s eyes. The lion roared and the goat snorted as the thing leapt into the air. Brush dashed underneath it, chuckling as the monster smashed headfirst into a tree.
“Those aren’t the only heads, ya know!”
As a shadow fell on him from above Brush felt a huge weight smash into him, sending him spiraling out of danger. He rolled along the ground, his eyes spinning in circles from the impact. Through blurry vision he saw a green whip striking at Clint; it was connected to the back of the beast.
“Oh, Luna clop me hard.” He ran to his partner as the snake tail lashed out again and again at the brave bull. He was fighting a losing battle; Clint’s vitality was obviously rushing out by the second.
Clint started to swing his horns almost blindly. He heard a large crack from nearby. Preparing for the end, he tensed up. He felt a huge rush of wind and heard a crash in front of him as the attacks abated. The bull opened his eyes. Brush was standing on the other side of a shattered tree stump; the remains of the mighty oak now pinned the motionless serpent to the ground.
“Oh, that was nice. I always said earth ponies were the strongest ponies.” He smiled as he collapsed on his side. “I’m getting too old for this cow-patty, don’t ya know.” Brush ran to him in disbelief.
“What the Hay are you doing, Beefwood?” Brush was screaming as him tried to roll Clint over. “We gotta move, you hear me? Get up and mooooooooove!”
The bull only coughed with a smile as the young mare came out of her hiding spot. “Don’t kid yerself, kiddo. I got more holes in me than my dear Petunia’s Swiss cheese. I’m heading for my last round-up.”
Brush tasted salt as he realized he was crying. The light pink mare walked up beside him. “Sir, is he going to be all right?” The ranger pony shook his head in disbelief.
The bull pointed a hoof at Brush. “You gotta look in my desk at the office. I knew this would happen sometime; I signed the papers and all. It’s a done deal.”
The pony gave him a look of shock. “That’s crazy talk. You won’t need to think about that for years. We’ve both walking away from here to a nice salt bar.”
Clint smiled. “Ah, Brush; always trying to be the tough guy. I guess that’s what happens when you grow up with everyone thinking you’re going to get a hair care cutie mark.” The bull started coughing. “Sweet Woozers, that venom’s got a fine doodly kick. Brush, I signed myself over to you.”
The pony was speechless. The cow continued.
“I’ll still be yer partner, I guess. I even ponied up the all bits. You always complained that it got too cold around here in winter.” The coughing got worse as other settler ponies walked out of hiding. “Even Petunia understood when I told her. She always liked you.”
Brush rubbed his hoof along the side of his partner. “I don’t know how I’m going to get along without you, you big white speckled git.”
Clint chuckled. “Yer not, man. That’s the idea.”
The row of settlers silently surrounded the two rangers. After a few moments, there was only one ranger, and a load to be respectfully carried back to headquarters with honors.
Bomber stopped reading. The room was dead silent; even Sledge and Nailkicker realized this was not a time to take shots at their classroom sparring partner. Bomber kept speaking, her emotion overcoming her lack of reading fluency in the eyes of her audience.
“That’s how me Da got 'is leather jacket. That’s also how 'e met me Ma. Even though they’re both gone now, I know that Clint is still taking care of his partner’s family in 'is own way. That’s why me father’s leather jacket is the most precious thing I own.”
Cheerilee was shaking. I should have known it was something heavy; there’s only one way to get leather in Equestria.
“My Da taught me a bunch of lessons before 'e went on. Ye never let down a friend. Ye always'help someone in trouble. Ye always stand up to bullies, no matter what.”
Bomber lowered the paper.
“That is why I’m proud of me Da. I’m thankful for what 'e told me. That’s also why I’m proud of my literature teacher. I’m thankful for what she said in the hallway yesterday and on the radio last night. She also taught me to always stand up to bullies.”
The students started applauding, their hooves making a terrible racket on the floor. Bomber took her paper off the podium and placed it in front of her teacher.
Cheerilee was shaking from shock. What the Hay did I SAY last night?
While the sound of the clapping continued, the smiling horned head of Placeholder poked into the doorway. “Oh, Miss Cheerilee? Would you be so kind as to join me in my office?”
Author's note: If you like the radio ponies, check them out at the Bronyville Podcast! It's a real show. I mean, they're not really ponies, but they are that awesome. Tell 'em Paleo Prints sent ya'.
Stats
Page generated in 0.105 seconds
Total duration
955 users online
2,427,194 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I love your version of Discord. He may even be better than the one in the show! The Jack Kennedy bit, the creepy crawly gummy worms, all the Star Trek, the hint of dark humor.... It was all very nicely done! The Discordian references were also very clever. When you said he was dropping by for a "parent teacher conference" I was ready for it to be ridiculously tacky and superficial and corny. I should have had a little more faith, huh? That was great!
Once again you show us that you really have mastery of the emotion in your writing. The scene between Screwball and Cheerilee after Discord leaves was incredibly well put together. I especially loved the line, "As the tears flowed she realized she had never been happier." Cheeri's run-in with Bomber and then the committee, Bomber's turn around, the radio spot, and Bomber's dramatic presentation all reinforced the great emotional high that was this new chapter. You really pulled out all the stops for this one, and it turned out fantastic.
Now, do AC and Chef Sandy know that you're working them into your story? I think they'll like their characterizations. You do a great job with them!
64438
I rewatched the Discord two-parter for this episode to get my opinions straight. I see Discord like Mark Waid sees Dr. Doom. I see nothing redeemable in him; he's Mr. Mytzysptlk with no conscience.
He sees Twilight Sparkle totally emotionally devastated and reacts with glee. I know there's a lot of shipping with him and Pinkie and Celestia, but I find him more fascinating as somepony who values everypony less than his own entertainment. He's constantly infuriated they don;t appreciate his obviously superior humor.
Thanks for the pacing comment!
The title 'Mad World' shows the theme of harried emotional rollercoasters. This chapter was the big character development one; the next one will have to have the characters react in new ways as they prepare for the festival.
I haven't contacted Bronyville yet; I want to see how long it takes the e-mails to start rolling their way.
Go Cheerilee! Show everypony who's boss!
but seriously, nice chapter
Okay, time to ask the fans; do I have enough Twi and Lyra to justify the tags? Each of those characters will get two to three major scene; is that enough to put their pictures up?
Okay, time to ask the fans; do I have enough Twi and Lyra to justify the tags? Each of those characters will get two to three major scene; is that enough to put their pictures up?
The idea to use the Fluttershy's voice was a work of purest GENIUS! Superb work!!!
OMC that was definitely worth pushing back my bed time. I'll make curbed comments after a good knights sleep.
If this keeps up Blueblood won't be able to turn a raido on for fear of a massive tungelashing.
Yogscast reference! Diggy diggy hole!
I love this fic, keep up the good work!
Diggy Diggyhole, Minecraft pony?
ll yes!
H
So is it W-BRNY or K-BRNY?
Also, one other thing, I know there's an ambiguous time gap going on here, but it doesn't seem to have been long enough for Bomber to be older than the length of season one up till now--point is, they shouldn't be swearing by Luna in the story because she seems to have been an unknown among the general population before her return.
"You hit me! Picard never hit me!"
"I'm not Picard."
Ah, de Lancie. So spectacularly chaotic.
This fic is funny, chaotic and dramatic, all at once. Gosh-darn man, this is brilliant!
I used to reference memes in my stories, but then I took an arrow to the knee. I was like "no, you wouldn- yes, yes you did." I laughed so
ing hard at the 
tirade. I have no doubt that Cheerilee would 
your 
up if you got her wasted then started talking 
on her students like Blueblood. By the way, how on earth could you reduce him to tears? I know he is a wimp, but really?
64594
Well, Sandy's in Texas and AC is in northern California, so realistically, it'd be K-BRNY. Not sure how that translates to the magical land of Equestria, though.
The only criticism I have is that some scenes are a bit confusing. I didn't really understand the one where Cherilee enters the broadcast studio. I thought she was still watching the them through the window. I didn't notice that _she_ was drinking right up until she burped for the first time.
Maybe it's just me, but that's not the first time the story left me slightly confused
Somehow, this just keeps getting better. Each chapter I'm like, "Okay, this has to be as good as it gets," and then he turns it up even higher. This story goes to 11. And BTW, over 9,000 words this chapter! XD
Also, it occurs to me, this basically works as a nanowrimo. He's only about 10k words shy, and I bet the unpublished snippets he wrote for future mlp fanfic ideas places it over that.
Anyhooves, I'm rambling. 5am and still awake will do that. Thank you to our shiny new pre-reader/editors for helping to make things better.
Did I detect some Rocky Horror in that story as well?
Tears in my eyes. That was beautiful.
So f-BUY SOME APPLES-ing great! I love this chapter and this fic
Very enjoyable chapter. Thank you. The humor and inventiveness made up for any other problems.
I agree with the criticism that sometimes the scene changes are disorienting. The room and context have changed, and as a reader I have to figure out what happened, and why is the character suddenly talking about _that_. Aside from that, the characterizations were awesome.
TAKE ALL MY MONEY!
I WILL MAKE MORE MONEY AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO!
seriously, this is the best written work i've ever read.
i had the same problem as dragozon and lost track around the radio scene, but aside from that this is perfect.
This chapter was so yaying amazing I am lost for yaying words. YAY!
Ahem~ this is so YAYing good i think i might YAYing kill my YaYing ass and then revive it so i can YAYing read this YAYing chapter again!
Also i will not stop using YAY to censor things, its just too YAYing epic...
THE REFERENCES! SO MANY REFERENCES! You deserve a
, but not in a bad way.
OMC I loved it
Excellent chapter! I love Cheerilee! You have officially made her my favorite non-Mane 6 character.
This is absolutely one of the best MLP fanfics I have ever read. It started out great and it's only gotten better. Keep up the fantastic work!
Cheerilee and Discord OTP.
Seriously though, while I loved your Discord, I can't help feeling like he had some other hidden motive to mess around with Cheerilee besides his Q-complex. There is the possibility that he actually cares about Screwball, and he has been giving ridiculous amounts of free chocolate milk to Screwball for some reason or other.
“Diggy Diggyhole!”
Must control hoof of death.
Is that a Yogscast reference?
And the second one, seems like a Dilbert one.
Reaction to story -
Reaction to Rant -
*sees arrow to the knee gag*
*sees Pink Floyd reference*
I laughed my
off because of this chapter. Well done.
memes! so many memes!!!
Good Guy Fancy Pants strikes again
kinda wish i could "like" some of these comments, facebook style
Due to overwhelming logical argument, I have clarified the opening of the Bronyville segment.
64460 i don't agree but i really don't care. you managed to write him so that those of us who enjoy the whole Discord isn't a jackass can still apreciate YOUR discord
you sir have done an amazing job. can't wait for the next one
So Twilight = Picard(or at least Riker) and Cheerilee = Sisko? ...I like it.
The radio sequence was just hilarious, I think it was a good move to NOT go with Vinyl and Octavia for the show hosts. Definitely gonna have to check out their show.
65377
Those two guys, not Vinyl and Octavia, already read that series. XD
Again loving this story i check it every day for updates. Made me laugh because i was listening to mad world not long before i checked it
.
Amazingly well done story there are very few stories that ive read with creative talent on your level. Also love the yogscast reference and the arrow to the knee (even if i have seen it a hundred times everywhere else)
This is only a slight step down from the untoppable montage sequence.
That's impressive.
That gets better an better ! I was afraid when you came up with Discord, I've just read partially Heavenly turmoil
, but it did turn ok !
I picked to minor mistake :
The buzz cut-haired filly nodded almost unperceptively. He face was unreadable.
I guess that's her. And :
A bright point of anger was fanned into flame in Cheerilee’s mind. “See can see us?”
That should be she ?
By the way, I had to say that the music in the last chapter was pure genious. Keep up the good work!
picked up two minor mistakes*, curse this non-existent edit button
And that was "that the music scene".
I deeply apologize for my advanced sleep state..
I was going to make a comments about Discord being a sweet transvestite, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
On a slightly more serious note, I'm glad that this time around you put a little more detail in the "drawings" of Cheerilee's student, me gusta.
Hilarity: I found most this to be one of the most entertaining things i have read. Cherrile drunk sweet jesus. The brony show what a great idea! the list goes on.
Serious: mabye one of the most powerful things ive ever felt reading a fanfic. and a pony fanfic no less.
Im honord to read this.
Gibson
Oh man, Bomber's essay made me cry
I am not at all ashamed to admit that.
I've been holding off this story for a long time... I hereby officially regret my decision.
Dear readers
tonight the part of Benjamin Sisko will be played by Miss Cheerilee
--------that reference was so YAYing good
WAS THAT A
ING MST3K REFERENCE?! Okay, you are now best author. Seriously, you just upstaged Cardslafter. This chapter had me laughing or crying. Not quite sure which. Probably both. You rock! (woohoo!)
This is one of my favorite fics ever.